Kalibah

After browsing the sexuality forums for a while, it came to my attention that religion plays a huge part in ones sexuality- so let me ask you



What is your religion?
Does your religion frown upon/against pre-maritial sex?

Just curious thats all

Personally

Roman Catholic
Growing up when i was 10ish and we'd be watching a movie together and there'd be a sex scene etc, my mom would say " now you know we dont believe in sleeping around and such before marriage" etc.

I dont know whether thats considered connservative or if thats what most catholics believe.

Now my dad on the other hand has quite a collection of playboys and penthouses, leading me to believe he is umm more... tolerant heh ( always wondered if my mom knows about his collection- the black covered magazine is unmistakable in the mail, but maybe shes just retarded)




meh hearing about all these parents that are so tolerant of their childrens sex lives, i mean no one wants to be caught, but when parents are so cool about it- id be disowned if my parents caught me having sex- i mean id never hear the end of it


damm my parents suck

StormBerlin

I wasn't raised with any type of religious background and my mom always made it clear I can talk to her about anything.

I was baptized Mormon when I was thirteen, and went for about six months. They have really strict guidelines when it comes to sex (hence my reason for not going to church).

My family was raised Catholic but don't practice anymore. My grandfather lived with us for a while and he is a practicing Catholic (mom got him some playboys too, icky) and when he heard my boyfriend and I were living together (a concept I never even thought of discussing with my parents because it's really none of their business), he hit the roof because that wasn't what he believed in. But mom set him straight

__________________
"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

alpha

I belong to the church but I'm not religious at all. So religion doesn't have anything to do with my sexuality.

Key

i used to go with my parents to church. that was when i was a kid, and my parents have _never_ talked about sexuality to me. so i had to develop my own morals. i really didn't know what was right, what was wrong.

as a result i started out by playing it "safe." you know, save yourself for "the one." whether that meant marriage or not i wasn't sure. as i grew up, i stopped going to church and began learning about sexuality from more unbiased sources. school played a large role, both education and peers.

i now see sex for what it is, that is, just sex. not something taboo, something sacred, some special event that needs to be perfect. i don't know if you can attribute my new view on sex to my decline in religion, or to education or something else, but that's how it happened. i particularly remember the argument against waiting until marriage.

"when you meet 'the one' do you really want to screw it up? be nervous and not know what you're doing? it's like anything else, you need practice. besides, it'd be stupid to marry someone without knowing something as critical as how they are in bed."

Rand007

I'm a Christian, although a very heretical Christian. I've witnessed first hand the way church can contribute to completely fucked up views on sexuality that undermine it's beauty, joy, and the intimacy it brings to relationships. Most churches frown on and suppress sexuality, especially sexuality outside of marriage. Now some....a little bit, of the intent is good behind that thought but the practical application is seriously flawed. Because of our natural desire for that kind of initmacy we crave that from an early age. In order to combat those desires the church oppresses it's members by condeming sexuality to the point that it becomes some kind of evil thing. You'll hear it said in the church that sex is wonderful within marriage but bad outside. Well after years of being told sex is bad people begin to think sex is bad, and even within marriage people feel guilty about thier sexuality. Young Christians are either filled with guilt all the time, or they leave the church, or they suppress thier sexuality and often times get married far to young because they're horny. The church down plays the importance of sexuality in relationships and therefore many Christian couples never gain true intimacy. I've heard many Christian friends talk about not having physical contact, some to the point of hardly kissing, and believe they are doing thier relationship some kind of valuable service. Perhaps the worst part is that there is arguably no basis in the Christian bible for the oppression of sexuality or for sex being wrong outside of marriage.

I'm a very spiritual person and I believe that spirituality and sexuality are deeply interwoven. If you want to understand the oppression of sexuality from the church just ask a Christian how often Jesus had sex. Most will be disgussed at the thought that he would even have had sex, because somehow Jesus was pure and sex is sinful and unpure. I bet Jesus was a great lover.

__________________
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.

-Unknown

la petite moi

What is your religion? Agnostic (not really a religion).

Does your religion frown upon/against pre-maritial sex? No, but my boyfriend's mother is Christian (he is not), and is against it. She is very disappointed in her son for having pre-marital sex with me (even though we plan on marrying). So that has created a lot of friction.

fallenangel

I'm agnostic as well, so religion never really played a part in my sexuality. However, a good friend of mine is a devout mormon. I have trouble with this though because after the amount of preaching he's always doing, he had two different partners before he got married, one of them was while he was on a freaking mission for his church!

Thus i struggle with such issues and the church. It angers me. Anyway, i waited until i felt ready to do so. It was my 16th birthday, some say i was too young, but it's really not anyone's business or choice but my own. And i don't regret it.

__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

darwiniggy

I am an atheist. I have no problem with pre-marital sex. In fact, I wish I had more of it!

I was raised in a Hindu household, where sex was not even discussed. Part of the reason I began to question the beliefs that my parents instilled in me was the lack of openness to contemporary issues, especially taboo issues like sex, alcohol, etc.

I think too many religions have turned sex into a "dirty" act which needs to be hidden. It's so hypocritical, since biologically we are so driven by our desire for sex.

Perhaps that's why so many "religious" types end up committing sex crimes, etc.... it's their suppressive religious background which drives them to do things which they were never "supposed" to do. Anyone else agree? I guess that should be the topic of another forum altogether, eh?

:::OshnSoul:::

I am not of a religion,
I respect and accept all religions, and people's choices in their beliefs.
For me, my truth is that I do what feels good to me, without harm of myself or others.
I grew up a Christian- i.e. No sex before marriage- but I broke away from that (both religion and the pre-marital sex). I was not precarious, and I chose to do it with the one I love. I got pregnant even using protection, but I do not ever regret it, because I knew I was with the person I love, and that we had the most wonderful son born from that.
Sex is to be a beautiful, expressive experience of Love and Life, it is in how we choose to use it that can have consequences.
I will share with my children the beauty and wonder of sex, yet to be aware of what can happen. I will not condemn, deny, hide, or ignore it- especially these days when kids are experimenting at such a young age. Why do they do that? Because we as parents and guardians and teachers have either pressed against the issue so hard or ignoring it so much, that it leads the kids to curiosity. If they not know the beauty of it as well as consequences, instead of just being told not to do it, or not being told about it at all, they will respect and realize and understand much more.
Sex is now so hidden, yet at the same time, so condemned and looked down on, that how can we expect our kids not to be curious of it? If you tell a child not to touch something without explaining what could happen, their curiousity rises and they reach their hand out to touch it. Same thing with sex, drugs, talking with strangers, etc.
Let our children be aware but know the beauty of sexuality and let them feel comfortable with their own thoughts. If we are not open with them, they will discover it on their own without any knowledge of it.

SecretMethod70

I am Catholic. Went to a Catholic gradeschool, go to a Catholic college, and did those once a week confirmation class thingies for 2 years in high school.

Despite all that involvement with Catholicism, it has never been beaten into me that sex is bad or anything like that. In fact, I've only been taught that sex was a good thing. Sure, in Catholic education there's going to be some references to "no sex before marriage," but that's a differnt viewpoint than saying that sex and sexuality is a bad thing. We were always taught that sex was a wonderful thing.

Then there's myu parents too. They're pretty open about the subject. No conversation about sexuality tsicks out to me because they're not an unusual occurance. Sometimes it comes up and it's just discussed. I know how they feel about things, and beyond them preferring that I don't have sex before marriage, they're pretty open about sexuality. They also do not think that sex is some bad thing.

So, I guess that's why I never understand it when I hear about people thinking religions, esp Catholicism, suppress the goodness of sexuality and make it out to be some necessary evil. Perhaps I was just lucky and got good, open-minded Catholic teachers and parents, but I tend to think the misonception is simply caused by a vocal, closed-minded minority in any religion.

So, how has all this affected my views on sex in relation to religion? Well, I do think that waiting until marriage is a good thing, but not because of any religious reason really. I think sexuality is a beautiful thing and I also recognize that it can involve serious emotional bonding. I also fully believe in the importance of the promise made in marriage and I think going into it with anything other than 100% full intentions to keep that promise is a bad thing. So, with that in mind, I think waiting until marriage is simply good for emotional health. Most people are not capable of making sex meaningless and it therefore complicates things greatly if a couple who has had sex ends up breaking up. Once you're married, breaking up is something that will not happen unless under significant circumstances - ones that will trump the emotional bond of sex.

Of course, that doesn't mean I think sex before marriage is "bad" either. Can't really say WHAT I think, other than it's up to the individual. There are EASY arguments to be made for both sides, it's just a matter of which applies more to you.

__________________
Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Mehoni

I'm an atheist and my view on pre-marital sex is: go for it.

That said, I'm very "conservative".

I only have sex if I'm in a relationship, I couldn't have an open relationship, monogamy all the way etc. If I want sex, I'll have sex.

My family does not subscribe to any kind of faith and religion has never been something you cared about.

__________________
There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish.

guinnessgurl

Well, as has been mentioned in previous threads, religion and sexuality both played a very important part in my life. I grew up in a very religious household (my parents are Jehovah's Witnesses) and while I belonged to that religion myself for the majority of my life, when I graduated highschool, I realized it wasn't what I wanted anymore and I didn't agree with some of the 'rules' (couldn't think of a better word) that I had to follow. The main conflict presented was that I was dating a guy who didn't belong to that religion (a big no-no) and we were having premarital sex (another BIG no-no). I chose the guy over the religion and we're still together today. Some days are easier than others, but despite the hard times, I know I made the right decision. Although its hard not speaking to my family or my old friends, I am happy now with my boyfriend, and i couldn't have had that if I had stayed a Jehovah's Witness.....

__________________
Don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail - George Eliot

Nancy

No-one in Denmark is against pre-maritial sex so I've never had problems with that issue

__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Strange Famous

Im ethnically Jewish, but religiously Im more just spiritual - I am actually against marriage on religious grounds (I agree with Thomas Hobbes that no one should use God as the guaranteer of their promise...) but I'd get married if the girl I loved really wanted to.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

raeanna74

Hubby and I were both raise strictly Baptist. I moreso I believe. At one point my parents attended a Sovereign Grace Baptist church where everyone was 5 point Calvinists (if anyone knows about Calvinism). I had to wear a headcovering or scarf to church and prayer even. My clothes were strictly monitored - almost to the point of being as conservative in attire as the Menonites.

Now - well we are much different. We have explored a number of other religions with the same BASIC beliefs. Our lifestyles are no where near as strict. We don't avoid modern clothes, drinking, dancing, or going to movie theaters. Yes, I was not allowed in a movie theater until I sneaked off from college to go when I was 20. I don't think that lifestyle will do anything but turn people off from listening even to our beliefs.

At this point, I have disassociated my sexuality from my religion. My religion doesn't believe in sex outside of wedlock. I could reason my way around their statement by saying that I am IN wedlock and just doing it with my husband and OTHER married couples IN wedlock. It just doesn't sit right with me. I don't try to reconcile the two. I also don't go to church much. I do believe in a supreme god. I do believe that he is our way to heaven. Beyond that - I'm still working it out. Swinging and being bisexual has been such a healthy thing for our married and our own personal emotional health that I cannot understand why it would be completely condemned in our churches. I just don't know.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

xepherys

I was raised Baptist, then Ukrainian Orthodox. Neither are fond of pre-marital sex (most Christians are not, in fact).

As I am now, I'm more of a spritual Pagan. I think sex is a wonderful thing and should be experienced however one sees fit. Personally, i am monogamous with my wife because I choose to be and so does she. I think polygamous relationships are just peachy. If that's your bag, then who am I to give you grief?! I love my wife and think that it's no more or less wrong to be monogamous than to be otherwise. *shrug*

Sexuality is what you make of it. If you truly, hoenstly believe that god will smite you for having sex before you are married by a preist/oradained minister, then hey... be careful. If you don't, then why worry about it? The gods have other things to think about than your sex life, or so I'm fairly certain...

analog

Raised Catholic, still attending church and quite religious.

I have no problem with premarital sex. I've had nothing but, and i've had a lot of it (only 5 people, but tons of times).

I've never talked about sex with my parents. Ever. I think when it came time for most people to have that talk, they realized I was a smart kid who would make the right decisions.

Since then, it's still never brought up. They're very open people, and we joke around a lot and stuff, but sex is never a topic of discussion.

Anxst

I'm a practising pagan, a Solitary Celtic Druid.

My religion does not encourage premarital sex, but it thinks it's a pretty natural thing to do.
Of course, my religion also has no issue that I have two wives, who are also married to each other (we're in a three way relationship for life). So it's pretty liberal.

__________________
Don't mind me. I'm just releasing the insanity pressure from my headvalves.