metalgeek

Simple question really, How do you really know when to end a relationship?
Can you get to a point where you feel that this really isn't the one? And how do you know?

davidc209

Consider your biggest goals in life and be honest with yourself if they are negotiable. If your girlfriend's goals are different and also non-negotiable, it's time to move on. Even if you are physically attracted to each other, you never fight, you get a long on many levels, etc., it will not work in the long run if your goals are different.

One of my friends has been dating a woman for almost three years. They are both mid 20s. They claim to have never fought over anything major in the three year relationship. They get along perfect... like peanutbutter and jelly... like toast and butter.. BUT.. she wants to be married and start a family in the next five years. HE, on the other hand, won't be ready for a family for at least the next 15-20. Neither is willing to negotiate on THIS one issue. They broke up, but are still very good friends.

It doesn't matter HOW hot your girlfriend is, don't let the fear of not being able to find another girlfriend as beautiful hold you back from breaking up if that's what you need to do. I notice a lot of guys in bad relationships hold on because they are afraid of being alone. You won't be alone for long.

At the end, you really KNOW deep inside whether it's right. It's just always night to get your thoughts validated by friends or TFP.

Slims

I know to get out of a relationship when: I just want out; I would rather be with someone else; or if they lose interest.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

magpie

Remember a brat-pack movie called 'Some Kind Of Wonderful'..? There was a line that went something like 'better to be alone for the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong reasons'.

I've yet to come across a better way of putting it. If you are starting to ask yourself about the relationship, then perhaps you already know that it's not going anywhere.

I got married last weekend. I knew very quickly that she was the one - the one that I'd always thought I'd never meet.

Maybe it's the same as knowing when you have met that special person; you also know that you haven't.

Cynthetiq

when even their breathing makes you mad.... then it's time to make sure it ends.

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sierra2774

I guess it is time then.

MilleniumZeus

When you can't overlook the small things she does and you can't remember why you fell in love. If you look into her eyes and don't see the passion. When you look into the future and you don't always see her. Make some decisions. Good luck choosing a path and starting the hike.

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ZEUS IS IN THE HOUSE!!!

-Ever-

Wow, thats pretty serious!
Great advice guys, I'm pulling some out for myself here and there. I need it too, I tend to have extremely long, drawn out brake up periods that really aren't necessary.

Also, congrats to the guy who just got married!

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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster...
--Acknowledge your weaknesses--

analog

I started working at my current job about 11 months ago, which is where my (now) girlfriend works. We were friends only for all but the last 2 months, when we started going out. We're very much in love and are getting engaged soon, all in about a month and a half. Part of the reason for the fast pace is we click, and our life goals are the same. Neither of us EVER want kids. HUGE sigh of relief for both of us, because neither of us would bend on that. We both want to wait to actually marry until we're out of school in a year or two, and we both want the best for each other... make your decision based on what you both want out of life- if they're different and can't be changed, move on. You'll find another.

gibber71

I would say knowing when to end a relationship is at the point when you don't care if you ever see that person ever again.

cdwonderful

when you dont care. hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is..................

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it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

dsaiuyerw

got some important stuf!! but i need some advice please,,,,
my boyfriend and i had the relationship about 1 year,,and some few days after we went out with my friends to a movie,, and that day i refused his relationship!!and my friends used to tell don't end this relationship and so on,, i was sooo,,,weak on that moment,,and afterwards v started the relationship but i was happy when i meet him and have a physical interaction,,and now,,i dnt even like to talk to him either to meet him,,i don't knw what to do,, if u'l can,, please giv some more instructions to end this,,,
and of course,, the above instructions do helped me,, but i want some more confident!!if u'l tell me some more, i will b good on that,,!!

Lady Bear Cub

Yeah, If I feel like they aren't the one. If I'm generally unhappy. If we argue all the time. If we don't have the same goals. If they cheat on me.

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"I give myself very good advice,
But I very seldom follow it,
Will I ever learn to do the things I should?"

samcol

Simple, but very well put.

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Wes Mantooth

When you began asking the question "How do you know when to end a relationship?".

If you're thinking about breaking it off its probably a good sign things are going in the wrong direction otherwise you wouldn't be thinking about it.

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Toaster126

I think this is a sign someone is worried/stressed about their relationship as well. This could be because something is actually wrong or because they are being neurotic, though.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Wes Mantooth

Oh without a doubt Toaster. Although from personal experience I've always found when a relationship is on its last legs I usually spend a lot of time thinking about weather its really over or how to end it. I think its just one of the steps you take in the process of breaking up.

Although thinking about it maybe its a sign that two people need to sit, talk and patch up whatever the problem is. Perhaps as much of a sign to mend the relationship as it is to end it? Relationships...you just HAVE to admire the hoops humans go through for love!

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unfeasible

The different life goals are a sure sign things may not be so good long term. Sadly you just have to honest and sort it out before you hate each other.

genuinegirly

I'm not entirely sure that I understand your situation. It sounds as though you have been dating a man for a year and you currently dislike him. You would like some advice for how to end your relationship with a sense of finality.

Since you dislike seeing him and speaking with him, perhaps it would be difficult to explain your displeasure in person. There are a number of ways to break up with someone via text messaging or e-mail, but this is generally considered bad form. You may prefer to have a mutual friend inform him of your intentions, but this will cause undue stress on your friend. It really will be best overall to speak with your boyfriend face-to-face and explain that you are no longer interested. It will make it easier on you if you choose the location and time of this conversation. Choose someplace public, wherein you feel comfortable. If you choose instead to ignore him, never responding to his attempts at communication, he will eventually understand that you are through. Good luck with whatever course you take. I'm sure others will provide additional direction.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Magpie_1

When you find yourself asking that question.

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captaincanada84

For me I'd have to say end it when you realize you are spending less time happy than you think you should, when you really start worrying about things he/she is doing/may do, when you find your life consumed with him/her (against your wishes of course). I think that especially if you arent happy and have told the person this and nothing has changed, it might be a clue that you should start thinking about ending it on a mutual agreement.