wallace1

OK, so I need some advice. Or, maybe I just need to vent, but here goes.

There is this seriously HOT girl that I work with that sits right in front of me. She is here for the summer and we have developed a very flirty relationship. She is a sophomore in college and I have since graduated for a few years now. She has made it very clear that were she to get involved that it would only be without committment as she is going back to school in September and does not desire a long distance relationship. I have a girlfriend and do not wish to hurt her but in being truthful I totally want to fool around with this girl. What to do, what to do? I do not consider myself a pig but I dig this girl and the situation seems to be ideal. Suggestions? .

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Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.

the_marq

So you have a girlfriend whom you seem to care about, but you want to nail some random hottie just for the fun of it.

Well there's nothing wrong with having that desire, but acting on it probably will and should result in you losing your 'serious girlfriend.'

Hell if it's more important to you to score with this hottie than keep your girlfriend then go for it. That may seem sarcastic but I mean it. I know very little about you but I can tell you that when I was 21 I was far more interested than nailing whoever I could than keeping my then-girlfriend. Today, there is nothing more important to me thatn my girlfriend.

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The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

ratbastid

One word:

<font size=+3 color="yellow">THREESOME</a>

Nitrox

ratbastid, you just put a smile on my face...

Averett

Hey ratbastid, I love you and all (really, you're awesome ), but not everyone's answer to "I have a girlfriend, but I like this other girl" is THREESOME! It seems to have worked well for you and lurkette, but that's not always realistic advice.


My advice? It's a crush. We all get em. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're dead. So I guess you have to figure out if you're willing to risk your relationship for a fling.


Hell, maybe you're girlfriend would be willing to try the threesome thing. You should know her well enough to be able to guage that. But you'll have to ask her, and you'll be running the risk that she'll think you're an A) freaky pervert, B) just trying to get with this girl any way you can (and she'd be right ) or C) just your typical threesome fantasy havin guy.

I ramble. Blah.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

dirtyrascal7

i must say averett, i was surprised to not see your staple "you're taken, don't even consider it" response.

that being said, i agree with what everyone else said... you need to do some self-assessment and figure out what you're really looking for at this point. once you decide, do the right thing and support your decision... either by breaking up with your girlfriend and pursuing the fling, or by turning down the fling and staying true to your girlfriend. don't get greedy and think you can have both... it rarely works out.

good luck.

__________________
"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."

"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

Averett

I can be a surprising person

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

wallace1

Good advice at a crucial time. Thanks. I agree, I'm not dead, and the interest/attention is flattering, but I do love my s/o , so I think that I will let the crush remain a crush. But I WILL fantasize about the threesome!
Thanks all!

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Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.

water_boy1999

Yeah, be a man about it. If you love your SO, then leave it as a crush. Why go through the pain of guilt when you can have a guilt free crush?

Stay true my brother.

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Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

primal

"You know what happened to the man that got everything he ever wanted?......He lived happily ever after"
-Willy Wonka

You just have to decide what you really want. If you really love your SO then there are rewards within that relationship that should far outweigh a simple one night stand. For me it's really easy. If I start to lust after a particular girl, I go home and take a good look at my wife. I remember all of the ways she makes me feel and all of the good times we've had. Lust simply can't compete with that.

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"Where the white women at?"
-Sheriff Bart (Blazing Saddles)

NeoSparky

Why not ask the GF if you can bang the hot chick a few times? If she knows about it, then it's not cheating.

PayUp

I think that would probably go about as well as a fart in a space suit.

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Born to Lose.

doncalypso

Take an extremely cold shower in the Arctic Ocean, and then put on a chastity belt and swallow the key.

If you're even considering cheating on your girlfriend it means you don't truly love her or respect her if you're willing to throw away that relationship for a brief fling with someone who wants no sort of attachment whatsoever.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

clockworkgreen

Unless she's really, really, really hot, I say probably don't maybe consider possibly getting with this chick. But, you only live once. Your time is running out to be fucking hot 19 year olds, unless you turn into Hef.

diddagirl

If you really do love your girlfriend and dont want to hurt her then keep it as a simple crush. If you cant- then be fair and break up with your g/f. You cant have the best of both worlds.

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"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

Buk

Nothing wrong with being tempted, most men unless they are Bill Clinton don't ever act on this type of situation...

dogmeat4u

nail her and dont get caught.

sashime76

I doubt that she only flirts with you.... She is hot and she knows it, are you luck number 1 or 2 or 3 or....for that matter? Don't do a "Kobe" and get caught, you won't have a girlfriend then.

sashime76

seretogis

Not giving into temptation is a part of being in a committed relationship with someone. Regardless of how "hot" she is, the fact that you are even seriously considering cheating says a lot about how you feel about your current relationship.

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seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames

jaco

seretogis, if thoughts counted against us, then we all have a one way ticket straight to whatever hell you believe in.

As to the topic, the only way you can have the girl and not feel too bad is either an open relationship with the S/O or a threesome. goodluck with whatever decision you make, but at least break up with your girl if you do decide to hook up with the new one, cheating is more trouble than its worth.

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"How soft your fields so green, Can whisper tales of gore"
"Thou art god"

meepa

Whatever you do, make sure you keep your head clear and understand her intentions. Hot girls almost always know they are hot. Young hot girls like to play around... sometimes with bodies, sometimes with emotions. I knew a lot of hot girls when I was 19 that just liked to see how many guys they could get to drool after themselves. One in particular, which reminds me exactly of this situation, always flirted and tried to get on with guys who had girlfriends already because it was more fun that way for her (self-esteem issues? I don't know). Just be careful that she's not playing you for a horny fool.

dogmeat4u

you guys are all boring.

nail her and be done with it.

SonnyBono

it's the summer, have fun

here is the advice a friend gave me once: "Beat her guts"

Hrothgar

It's just a girlfriend. Those come and go. If you like this girl and she likes you have fun with her until she goes back to school. When you are an old fuck and can't get it up anymore at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you nailed some hot chicks in your youth. Carpe diem.

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The fortunes of war favored Hrothgar.

soccerchamp76

How often do you have the opportunity to screw a hot 19-year old?

Go for it dude

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Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department.
Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity.

wallace1

Thanks again all, your advice is very much appreciated. There is nothing wrong with fantasy, a crush or even a little flirting. But I never want to hurt my SO, she's my bestest friend and I love her, and it helped me to put the situation out there because it made me realize this. Sometimes keeping things to myself allows them to grow bigger than they ever should be allowed. Thank Ye TFP.

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Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.

NotMinus

Is your hand weighed down by a wedding ring? no, then use it to give her a call. Unless you have both agreed to see each other soley I don't see whats wrong with having a short fling on the side.

seretogis

I'm not "in the know," but isn't that what "girlfriend" means?

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seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames

yster

girl·friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (gûrlfrnd)
n.
Soul-Sista!

Nothing about exclusive commitment in my dictionary, Ser =p

lurkette

First, ratbastid is sitting next to me and he says he was mostly joking about the threesome idea. He's funny like that sometimes. Or...not funny....

Make a decision, dude.

If you're committed to your girlfriend, keep it in your pants.

If you're not committed to your girlfriend, break it off with her and (ratbastid says "bang her like a screen door ) go play the field honestly. No need to hurt an innocent third person who thinks you're being faithful.

Don't be the cheater guy women all complain about. Don't try to have your cake and eat it, too. Do the right thing: make a choice.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

santafe5000

Get youself a copy of Clinton's book, read just the good parts, then you will know the definition of cheating. You won't really be having sex.

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When all else fails, QUIT.

coash

bump. what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

wallace1

And I cried for days over this, wah,whaaa,whaaaaaa

__________________
Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.