Opiate

Parties:

Me: 20 years old, Studying final year at university, seeing girlfriend for 3 years

Girlfriend: On exchange overseas, also final year Uni, 20 years old. comming back in just over a month. first gf first everything.

new interest: 19 years old, same uni though 2nd year. get along like a house on fire.

Girlfriend has been overseas for 3 months now, and ive hardly talked to her. Met this new girl about 2 weeks ago on a uni camp, and things got a bit heated. she knows i have a gf, knew before things got heated, and stupid me got carried away and let it get heated before thinking of anything. filling the void perhaps?

anyway this would be ok if it got heated and i didnt feel anything for her, cause then i can deal with that even though i know i shouldnt have cheated on my gf. however, thats not the case....i really really like this new girl, shes intelligent, attractive, funny and shit loads of fun.....but then again my gf is adorable and i really really like her too.....

so yeah sorry this is a bt long winded. but yeah ive told the gf overseas and she was devastated but understands and we are still together....i had to tell her as i cant be dishonest with anyone...

man im so confused at the moment, i want to be with this new girl but i dont want to hurt my gf...im trying to figure out if i still really love my gf or not which i think i do...but this new girl is so exciting and different....i dont know : (

bleh theres so much more i could write and i dont even know why im writing this....guess im just looknig for oppinions and ppl who have had similar experiences to see what they did.....

yeah i dont know :/

Slims

I don't know what to tell you. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was break a girlfriends heart. Don't stay with the girl because you don't want to hurt her...she will get over it.

Make a decision based on which girl you want more, plain and simple. Then go with it and commit to "breaking" up with the other one.

Best of luck.

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Magpie0001

I agree with Greg700 (BTW, cool name!) You gotta make a decision, try to be as objective as possible. Its difficult when emotions are involved but you have to make a decision. If you regret it in the future or if you have second thoughts you must tell yourself that the decision you made was the right one at the time.
I did a very similar thing sept the timescale was longer. It was hard, peoples feelings were hurt but It was something I had to do.
Got a Q for ya: Do you see a future with the new girl? If she knows that youre involved how does she feel about it? Does she want you to leave your current or is she keeping sthum?

Good luck.

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Cynthetiq

people's feelings are going to get hurt... most importantly yours, then there are the other people. I'd minimize my own and then minimize the rest.

I had a LD relationship and while we were LD it was a free for all... I didn't expect her to sit out of activities because I wasn't there, example her Formals, dances, etc.

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Ganguro

wow willing to break the relationshipof 3 years for a 3 month lapse for someone you have only known for 2 weeks?

This new girl must be great!

Stilts

You have to be careful. No matter how many years you are with someone, you will always run into someone else who will catch your interest. Usually you have your love in close proximity so it's easy to distinguish between the brief infatuation and the lasting love. Unfortunately you don't have your girlfriend with you to help keep things in check.

Maybe leaving your gf is the right thing to do, and maybe it isnt. Either way, you'll be better off if you try a few days away from the new girl, get your head back on straight before you make that kind of decision. If at all possible hang out with other women that you're attracted too. I bet that you quickly realize that some of those feelings develop very quickly for interesting attractive women, the feelings can be very intense, unfortunately, those feeling also seem to burn out very quickly. If you make it a habit to run off every time that a new little crush hits you, you'll never be in a permanent relationship.

Opiate

thnx for the advice guys...im thinking of joining the priesthood at the moment though... connect cable to the monestary and id be all set :P

Greg700: it will come to that, and im so scared of breaking one of their hearts : ( still pondering this one...i know if i choose the new girl my gf would be more shattered than the other way around though (as expected)....and saying not to hang around because i dont want to hurt her has made me think a lot....as i dont know how happy i will be in the future if i do stay...

Magpie0001: yes i do see a future with this new girl, we get along extrememly well.... she does know that i have a gf, i told her as soon as i realised she liked me....umm i dont know exactly how she feels about it, but i know she understands what im going through and shes said she'll back off until ive decided what to do. id say shed want me to leave my current one, that would be natural for her to think that, but she isnt and wouldnt push that.

Cynthetiq : good advice there, but i think out of all of this no matter which way it goes im only hurting myself....

Ganguro: she is great, extremely intelligent (beats me all the time but i give as good as i take), beautiful, understanding and heaps of fun.

Stilts: i think you are on the money with staying away from her. ive already commited to see her this friday but after that i wont have contact with her for a few days which will give me time to have a good think. its hard though as we met through a uni club and we are both regulars. your last two sentances make a lot of sence and i wonder if its true in this case.

anyway, thanks again for your advice. ive just told this new interest that we should force ourselves to hold back but im not going to kill the good friendship, so thats all we will be, just "friends". im not going to say anymore to the overseas gf as ive already ruined her trip enough from the little ive told her and thats the last thing i wanted. i think the best option is to wait, use the next month to ponder and sort things out, then when she gets back make a decision....

anyway sorry for the long windedness (is that a word?), typing this is helping me get a lot of thoughts straight....

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