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Old 02-09-2004, 07:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
xim
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Location: One with the Universe
Ever have trouble holding in a fart

Ever have trouble trying to hold in a fart while your messing around with a chick? It was saving up for like 2 hours and I let out like three really loud ones afterwards and it sounded like I was calling a moose in her bathroom.
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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geez man this almost belongs in the humor section

But I understand, but if you are really comfortable with a woman you should be able to let one go around her, it's biology you can't help it
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I agree this has to be one of the funniest posts that I have read. Anyway, on the serious side, try to watch what you eat. That might help. Also, do not hold it. Act like you have to go to the bathroom or that you need to leave the room for some reason and let them fly. It should not break the mood.
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:23 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Confederate
But I understand, but if you are really comfortable with a woman you should be able to let one go around her, it's biology you can't help it
I totally agree with that...but NOT while your "messing around with a chick". I let my ass do the talking all the time around my girl, but never while eating, she is eating, I'm cooking, I'm "making out" with her, or anything sexual. That is just nasty. And I'm a pretty sick fuck...but farting during sex!?!?! Thats just gross. I can understand if one slips out...but if at all possible, I believe you should hold it until you are done.

I would like to add that there have been a few times when I have said "OH JUST LET IT OUT" before, but I quickly came to my senses, held it in, and then stepped out of the room and let my mud whistle let out its rank breath.
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:10 AM   #5 (permalink)
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lol quality post.

fanny farts are funnier tho i cant help but laugh when it happens to my gf even tho she gets well embarrased.
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Old 02-09-2004, 10:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
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hOLY SHIT THAT'S FUNNY
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Old 02-09-2004, 11:02 AM   #7 (permalink)
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LMAO I laughed out loud so hard. Knowing me I woulda tried to hold it too.
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Old 02-09-2004, 11:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
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GREAT POST!
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Old 02-09-2004, 12:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Ever have trouble holding in a great post?
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Old 02-09-2004, 12:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Okay, I seriously had to read this thread about 3 times before I was convinced that you might be serious!
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Old 02-09-2004, 01:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Of course this is a serious post. Farting during sex is a serious subject.

In fact, is there a particular etiquette to do with this subject? Clearly we can all agree that letting one rip while you're getting head is a no-no. Are there any other sexual situations where tooting would be bad?
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Old 02-09-2004, 01:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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never had this problem, strong abs
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Old 02-09-2004, 01:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S. Quint: No, why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S. Quint: Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating...
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S. Quint: [Retches]
Brodie: What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S. Quint: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.

/ Mallrats
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Old 02-09-2004, 03:03 PM   #14 (permalink)
xim
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jim Kata
I totally agree with that...but NOT while your "messing around with a chick". I let my ass do the talking all the time around my girl, but never while eating, she is eating, I'm cooking, I'm "making out" with her, or anything sexual. That is just nasty. And I'm a pretty sick fuck...but farting during sex!?!?! Thats just gross. I can understand if one slips out...but if at all possible, I believe you should hold it until you are done.
My thoughts exactly. In any other situation there is no holding back... The thought of trying to hide ALL farts is simply unfathomable.
Quote:
Originally posted by Parker
I agree this has to be one of the funniest posts that I have read. Anyway, on the serious side, try to watch what you eat. That might help. Also, do not hold it. Act like you have to go to the bathroom or that you need to leave the room for some reason and let them fly. It should not break the mood.
Ah good thinking. Ill start watching what makes me gassy. And maybe I should try some of my dads beano...
I guess your right there is really no reason to hold it in when you can go outside and let it out.
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Old 02-09-2004, 03:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Ok, being a girl, who was a vegetarian when I started seeing my now-husband...

I had to fart. We were spending WAY too much time together, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I made an announcement (as I was seductively crawling naked towards him in bed, fellas ) that I HAD to fart. So I did.

And he said "thank fuck, I was tired of holding them in!".

So if you have to blow ass, just try to make it obvious- it's so much worse when one sqeaks out unannounced. Besides, she's probably holding them in too.

Barring that, chill out on the beer and broccoli before a date

And as far as etiquette is concerned, just never near the face, and excuse yourself if necessary. Hell, it's a natural human body function.
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Old 02-09-2004, 06:24 PM   #16 (permalink)
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minus on the beer and broccolli, gotcha
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Old 02-09-2004, 06:59 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:59 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Last edited by insidious_machinae; 03-20-2010 at 11:06 AM..
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:19 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by redlemon
Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S. Quint: No, why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S. Quint: Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating...
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S. Quint: [Retches]
Brodie: What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S. Quint: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.

/ Mallrats
EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT OF WHEN I READ THIS POST!
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:36 PM   #20 (permalink)
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ahaha.

I was wrestling with the boyfriend the other day, and he sort of hit my stomach, and I let out a fart. I tried to brush it off, but he just died with laughter. Pshh.

Not exactly the same, but its one of those situations you'd prefer to NOT pass gas.
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:37 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by redlemon
Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S. Quint: No, why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S. Quint: Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating...
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S. Quint: [Retches]
Brodie: What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S. Quint: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.

/ Mallrats
More or less happened to me a week ago. It was my first time with this girl... so I was nervous as it was. She gave the best head I have ever had, but I couldn't enjoy it because I was too busy trying to prevent a great release.
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:51 PM   #22 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
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i'm not used to releasing gasses in front of females, so in the past i've tried to hide my embarrassment with obnoxious bravado... stupid in retrospect.
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:54 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Sometimes you can hold it too long tho and then you're backed up for awhile so make some time to do it. :S
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Old 02-09-2004, 10:04 PM   #24 (permalink)
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this is a *hilarious* post! and yes, sometimes I have trouble holding it in because I don't fart around my girl
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Old 02-09-2004, 11:28 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Dont' feel bad, the only time i've farted around a girl was when she pounced on me while she was giving me a backrub. I coughed and farted at the same time bc the force of one blew out the other, so to speak...very embarassing.

However, i'm now faced with going to visit a romantic interest in NYC soon....first time we've been together in 8 months and i'm faced with the whole bathroom delimma...i am really private, but i guess i'll have to work something out...
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Old 02-09-2004, 11:31 PM   #26 (permalink)
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i had to fart while i was doing it once.....its kinda tough but also kinda helps you last longer....but you just wanna let it loose
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Old 02-10-2004, 03:32 AM   #27 (permalink)
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I usually just go for it, and try to make it a silent one...
Sometimes, when I'm going down on my girlfriend, she suddenly says "kiss me!" and then I know it's time to clear zone...
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Old 02-10-2004, 06:55 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Have I ever done something like that ? No.

Am I very careful as to not put myself into that situation ? Yes.

It was my ex, that was the one, who while in a 69, 'relaxed'.

Had it been the other way around, there may have been trouble, but I'll be damned if it slowed me down at all

Funny how that works.
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Old 02-10-2004, 07:55 AM   #29 (permalink)
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When I was about 18, my then boyfriend and I were going at it. He was on top, and literally every time he pushed into me, he let out a fart. It must have happened like 4 times in a row.

I was totally repulsed at first, but then just cracked up. Didn't bother finishing off the sex.
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:14 PM   #30 (permalink)
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If you really can't hold it in while you are having sex, Let her rip on the down stroke and Yell "ROCKET POWER". Then you can both have a laugh.
This has to be the best "Humor" post in a while. I started laughing and couldn't stop.
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:21 PM   #31 (permalink)
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You know, some guys really get off on having women fart. Once I came across a site that featured videos and sound samples of women passing gas. (Wrong turn from Fark or Something Awful)
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:32 PM   #32 (permalink)
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i am seriously thinknig about going to a psych about this..

4 days with a girl..

didn't fart...didn't s**t, pissed twice a day...

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG...

i just never had the *urge*

help?
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:39 PM   #33 (permalink)
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If you really can't hold it in, excuse yourself to the bathroom, then come back to continue business. Do not do it within smelling distance if you're fooling around.

However, if you don't like the person but you're using him/her for whatever reason, feel free to let 'em rip.
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:46 PM   #34 (permalink)
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see, that's one problem i had...she has an apartment that is smaller than my kitchen, like 15x15 TOPS and her "bedroom" was a simple loft above the bathroom. Seriously...
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:47 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Stick your butt out a window

Seriously though, you could try to be "romantic" and light up a bunch of tea light candles. Fire burns up methane really fast which in effect, eliminates farts.
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Old 03-10-2004, 11:03 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by santafe5000
If you really can't hold it in while you are having sex, Let her rip on the down stroke and Yell "ROCKET POWER". Then you can both have a laugh.
Holy crap, that'd be the funniest thing ever.... until she kicked me in the beanbag.
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Old 03-11-2004, 12:20 AM   #37 (permalink)
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You all are gross.

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Old 03-11-2004, 12:33 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Original King
You all are gross.


You're gross (haha)
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Old 03-11-2004, 02:43 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Quote:

...it sounded like I was calling a moose in her bathroom.


rofl
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Old 03-11-2004, 03:12 PM   #40 (permalink)
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The last girlfriend I had, I used to go over to her place in the summer and I'd end up holding it in the whole time, and just ripping a storm in the car on the way home. For those first few months I couldn't tell if my stomach hurt from the gas or the blue balls. Then I had to go back to college and we resorted to weekend visits, and I was with her literally 48+ hours. No more holding it in. She got over it.
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