WarWagon

And its finally over. My girlfriend and I finally called it quits over a lengthy, teary phone call.

I guess I'd just like to take this post to apologize to all women, on behalf of men who thought they were in love.

After leaving for college and trying the long distance thing, I slowly came to realize that amidst all the temptation and attraction I had to other girls, that her love for me was neverending, whereas I once thought my love equaled hers, I have come to realize that I was wrong.

If I really loved her like I thought I did, I wouldn't have had any second doubts to us making it through the six years of being apart. She did not, I did. So rather than playing games with her heart, and before any cheating or anything like that could occur, I was just as honest as possible with her, and in a matter of minutes, the 2.25 greatest years of my life are now gone forever.

I truly did believe that I was in love with her, I know that with all the temptation I would not be able to look at her or feel her in a way much like things used to be.

So to all those women out there who have been told that they were loved by someone, only later to have their hearts broken, my apologies. Some of them really do believe that they're in love with you, they just havent come to fully understand what love is, or rather, what love should be.

skysooner

Some of it is the age. I'm assuming you are 18 or 19. Things seem very confusing at that age. With age you get a clarity of vision, and you will learn about yourself. Once you know about yourself is only when you can truly give yourself to another. My wife and I got married before I really knew myself and before she really knew herself. We got lucky a bit that our intense infatuation and love for each other blossomed and deepened and survived the changes we underwent. I've been where you have been, and it is tough. However, it seems like the best decision for your situation.

Averett

No need to apologize. I'm glad that you recogonized that you couldn't give her what she wanted/needed. This is far better than resorting to cheating while staying with her.

Don't beat yourself up over this. Long distance relationships are so hard. I had one myself for awhile, and my exboyfriend decided to go the cheating route rather than be honest with me.

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

tinfoil

I'll second Averett here. You recognized that you couldn't provide what you fealt she deserved and you let her go.

How's the saying go? If you love them you will let them go?

Long distance relationships ARE hard. I managed to make mine work, but there were some seriously rocky moments and we are both stubborn as hell.

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absence_of_color

Thats really touching.

Seems very mature of you. I hope you were as honest with her as you were with us. 2.5 years is a long time to be attached to someone. I hope everything works out for you.

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...absent of everything.

diddagirl

I think you have no reason to apologize, or feel bad for what happened. People fall in and out of love everyday, and i think it was very noble of you to tell her right away what you were feeling, rather then drag her along and hurt her more in the end. Obviously those 2.5 years did mean a great deal to you, as did she because of the way u handled the situation and looked out for her feelings. Sorry for your hard time...hang in there.

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

EbolaVirus

Over the phone?

WarWagon

Yes, over the phone. We both go to school 11 hours away from each other.

ratbastid

Now just hang on a cotton picking minute.

Just because situations and feelings change does not mean that the time you spent together is "gone", or that you never really loved her.

Don't shit on your memories like that. The least you can do for her is to remember your time together fondly. To now say "I guess I really didn't ever really love you" is a total rip-off of her and of yourself. You can't go back and revise history like that, at least not without hurting her worse than necessary.

Besides, I can tell from what you wrote that you really did love her, and on some level, still do. At least enough to end things honorably.

llama8

I'm talking from a bit of experience here. When you say you thought you loved her maybe this could just be a "defense mechanism" you're putting up to convince yourself you are doing right. I've done it before.....

I'm sure now that its OK to love someone and not be "with" them love comes in many many ways and when you think about it there is a very very fine line between love you share for a girlfriend and one for a best friend. Maybe you could argue that one implies the other....

EruptiveDreamz

I give you alot of credit for coming to terms with your own innerself and having balls enough to be honest.

__________________
Can you imagine Moses asking Congress to pass the ten commandments?

*Nikki*

Mine waited six years to tell me he wasn't in love with me ths same way I was with him.

I am glad that you were man enough to do it.

ariekitten

i really admire you for being able to tell her before anything happened with another girl. you may very well have been in love with her, but if things can't work for both people, then they can't work. i wouldn't worry about it too much. i think you did the right thing, even though i know it had to have hurt. hang in there.

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I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call.
~Vash, Trigun

>'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

Johnny Rotten

See, this is why I think no one should get married until at least 30 years of age. I'm 25, and I've gone through more personal changes during and since college than I could have imagined. Just the first month far outshined all four years of high school in terms of experiences. Then again, maybe I just went to a boring high school . My point is, young love is an intoxicating, wonderful thing, but tread lightly towards the engagement ring. Lightly.

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macmanmike6100

I do applaud you for nipping it in the bud; it's impressive to be honest to such a degree with yourself and then to be honest with another, even if it means throwing away something that, in the past, was good. Foresight man...in a way, congratulations

ariekitten

sorry to hear about the breakup. hope you're doing ok.

__________________
I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call.
~Vash, Trigun

>'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

WarWagon

Thanks everyone. I've been doing ok. She IM'ed me the other night to discuss the cost of her plane ticket which wasn't refundable, then she started asking questions, etc etc, and is still very, very upset about the breakup. My week(s) haven't really gotten any better yet, in that I bombed two midterms and have just been too busy to even think about the breakup really.

jasonresno

You have no reason to apologize. You did the right thing, you ended the greatest time of your life before there was chance to screw it up. If that isn't the right thing to do than I do not know what is.