01-18-2004, 05:26 PM | #41 (permalink) |
Über-Rookie
Location: No longer, D.C
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i keep everything, generally.. Only one time did we break up on a bad note and I threw away EVERYTHING i had of her that I could find..
later on we came back to good terms and I wish I had kept more of it.. I am glad to have what little i couldnt find..
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"All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush |
01-19-2004, 01:57 AM | #43 (permalink) |
Hiya Puddin'! Miss me?
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
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i have a vase of dried roses from various exs and some boxers and pants. in fact the ones i'm wearing right now are from an ex, but they're the only pair of sweats i currently own, so i keep it for a functional purpose. i don't really place a high sentimental value on most of the mementos i have. they're just around because i don't realize they're leftovers from a relationship.
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=^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.) |
01-19-2004, 03:25 AM | #44 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Leicester, UK
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I try to keep everything. If it was such a big part of my life why would I just want to get rid of it all?
I remember hearing that you should live by what's happened in the past as opposed to living in the past. It's nice to pull out the letters every so often and read how feelings change over time. Makes it interesting, but I'm not sure what I would do if a new girlfriend insisted I get rid of everything :S? |
01-23-2004, 04:57 PM | #46 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: madison, wi
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I've kept little things here and there, and I have it all sealed in a briefcase that I open maybe once a year. Its fun to remenisce. I also have managed to keep one pair of underwear from my two most meaningful relationships.
Yea, I'm a sicko. |
01-25-2004, 04:26 PM | #47 (permalink) |
bAck iN aCtiOn!
Location: in my imagination
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i don't think you should keep or not keep anything based on others' decisions. if you like the stuff, if it means anything to you, keep it. if not, toss it. you're the only one who can decide stuff like that for you. me personally i keep letters that say the things that meant the most to me....i keep (most) of the gifts, but some are just too painful to have around. so do what you feel comfortable with.
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01-26-2004, 10:03 AM | #49 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: US, East Coast. Blah.
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I think this is like one of those how-do-I-please-a-girl threads. It's all incredibly subjective.
I used to be part of the Sentimental Camp. I kept things tucked away, just because I couldn't bring myself to throw them out. I never felt the need to dredge them out and reminisce (well almost never), but couldn't seem to throw the crap away. Well, since then I got involved with someone that couldn't care less about any of that. Cards are neither given or received, after my taking the time to write what I felt what was heartfelt, and finding those cards in the trash very shortly - almost immediately - afterwards. After that, I felt the idiot and the desire to put anything to paper went away, after many years of being a hopeless romantic, all of those urgings were just ...gone. It's a little sad to me really, but I guess I've reached that "who really cares/is it really worth an effort" stage of being jaded. It made me realize that all the writing and all the things I did that I meant as thoughtfulness were probably more for myself than for them. It's not to say that the relationship isn't rewarding, it's just that my muse has left me. Nah, she threw her hands up and quit the business in a disgusted huff. Things don't ...move me the way they used to. *shrugs* I am now a standard bearer for the Build a Fire Camp. I see no need for these things to take up my personal space, unless I have a practical purpose for it. I don't ask for my things back, I never did. Once given as a gift, keep it, it's not mine to ask back. I'd just throw it all out, but any excuse to light a fire and I am at the ready with the zippo. |
01-26-2004, 12:31 PM | #50 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Los BIOS
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i keep a few pics and stuff i got for presents--i dont see a problem keeping them as long as you nderstand that it is over and you are not doing it to remember and hope that it will come back
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My memories are of fun and friendship, Of weakness within the strength of youth... |
01-26-2004, 08:53 PM | #51 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Cambridge, MA
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Just once piece of advice after reading through this thread: Wait until you're completely over the person before you decide whether to keep or throw away. You're less likely to run into regrets that way.
My story is similar to Spoilsport's. I used to keep everything, especially from my first serious relationship. The problem there was that the relationship was an act of desperation on my part -- thus my own clinginess, "romance," etc. Looking back now, I think virtually everything I did was ridiculous, so I have no problem with getting rid of mementos. Actually, I take it a step further and sell some of the gifts she gave me on ebay and amazon Just sold a book today! I'm evil, sorry. |
01-27-2004, 09:24 PM | #52 (permalink) | |
She's Actual Size
Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
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Quote:
I have one shoebox full of stuff related to/given by my "first love." It stays tucked away in the closet (well, it's in storage now.) At this point, it isn't so much that the stuff reminds me of HIM, it reminds me more of being 16, completely carefree, and all that jazz. However...I do think it bugs my husband a little, and I'm starting to think that maybe 7 years is long enough. I'll probably dump most of it when we get our stuff out of storage.
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01-31-2004, 08:45 PM | #53 (permalink) | |
Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
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Quote:
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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
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02-01-2004, 08:51 AM | #54 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Austin
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I got rid of all his emails. Some stuff I *would* have kept if he hadn't have thrown out all my shit, like this one time, he got me this ginger jar that was gorgeous, and matched my tea set. He really had to look hard for that, and on the bus, too;so I really want to keep that, b/c it meant a lot to me. As far as cards and stuff, I would have thrown those away, but again, he threw out all my shit.
I kept a couple of wedding pictures, t hat's about it. In general, I guess just keep the most important stuff, and throw the rest out. AS far as printing out all the emails and keeping them to read "sometime" I wouldn't do that, seems to tempting to get drunk and rehash shit. I haven't stayed friends with my ex's. One tried to kill me, literally. One just thinks I ruined his life, another is a violent asshole and I don't want to talk to him ever again. ONe though, is a friend, and she's pretty cool, but I wouldn't really call her an "ex", we weren't in a relationship, we just slept together twice, heh. I think Meff would freak if I had that stuff, anyway. If I talk about him, it's cuz I get reminded about something, and that happens less and less. Usually, it's "you're so much better than him this way" heh.
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"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac. Meff r0x |
02-02-2004, 08:59 PM | #55 (permalink) |
Guest
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Well.. I'm friends with half of em..
and the others i still have some (deep down possibly under some dirty socks) feelings for so i keep stuff.. it's good to have memomentos. keeps you from lying to yourself about somethings. Likey why you broke up with her in the first place. Box in the closet and a folder on the computer (titled shoebox) |
02-03-2004, 12:45 PM | #57 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Near Raleigh, NC
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Why keep em? The only thing I ever kept from an ex was a stuffed racoon, he's cool and now my daughter plays with him.
My mom still has pics of me with exes, but I don't see any reason to have any......
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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out." |
02-04-2004, 02:57 PM | #58 (permalink) |
Eccentric insomniac
Location: North Carolina
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Edited.
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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence Last edited by Slims; 12-20-2010 at 07:36 PM.. |
02-08-2004, 07:09 PM | #60 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: The Tip of the Boot
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I have many mementos from past girlfriends, and I value them, as I valued the relationships and learned MUCH from each and every one of them. I am lucky enough to have a wife that encourages this.
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02-09-2004, 04:09 PM | #61 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: San Francisco
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I kept most of the mementos. I have a trunk which contains all the important "memories" - if a relationship ends, I put the guy in the "trunk" until I can look at the items without getting upset.
I wouldn't want to get rid of them, I was half of the memories created.
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