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-   -   How long do you keep mementos of your ex? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/40428-how-long-do-you-keep-mementos-your-ex.html)

Jesus Pimp 01-02-2004 08:31 PM

How long do you keep mementos of your ex?
 
I put all my mementos of my ex i.e letters, pictures, movie tickets, postcards, etc.. in a big sealed envelope. I've been wondering how long I should keep it. How long do you keep mementos of your ex? Also I have every email that she has ever written to me stored in an outlook folder. Should I bother keeping that? I'm using Outlook 2003 so it would be a pain to back up. What do you guys think?

rufgti 01-02-2004 08:41 PM

I keep one or two things from ex's. The reason I do this is so that I remember the good times AND the bad so that I can hopefully do better in the next relationship.

I throw away the rest of the crap...

Jesus Pimp 01-02-2004 08:56 PM

So is sending her the shit I don't want, a bad idea?

cchris 01-02-2004 08:59 PM

I keep the flammables for special occasions but the rest gets tossed.

OFKU0 01-02-2004 09:17 PM

Any mementos are out the same day as she is. No later.

Averett 01-02-2004 09:20 PM

When my ex broke up with me I threw everything out. Every gift he gave me, the one card he gave to me. I loved that card too. I thought it was so romantic and sweet. He gave it to me for Christmas. I realized later how fake it was. Cause he was cheatin on me with a 17 year old girl. Anyway, I tossed it all.

Harshaw 01-02-2004 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
I loved that card too. I thought it was so romantic and sweet. He gave it to me for Christmas.
It would be nice to date someone who got attached to the sweet things like that. My girlfriend could care less what I gave to her.

I gave most of her stuff back when she came out to visit for Christmas. We haven't quite broken up, but if I had to put a term to the relationship, it would have to be 'coma'. I still have some of her books, but I can't bring myself to throw out books... they will be assimilated.

sillygirl 01-02-2004 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cchris
I keep the flammables for special occasions but the rest gets tossed.
Yup. Flammable is fun, isn't it? I usually burn everything flammable from my ex's. But my last ex took everything, so there isn't much left... asshole....

Anyway, I wouldn't mail it all back to her. Burn it. Fire is fun, and building a big one is sure a stress reliever! ;)

omega2K4 01-02-2004 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
When my ex broke up with me I threw everything out. Every gift he gave me, the one card he gave to me. I loved that card too. I thought it was so romantic and sweet. He gave it to me for Christmas. I realized later how fake it was. Cause he was cheatin on me with a 17 year old girl. Anyway, I tossed it all.

:( Aw poor Averett, that guy is a dick.

Anyways, I still keep in touch with a few of my exs, we were always really good friends. There is 1 of my exs I try to avoid like the plague, she's a fucking lunatic.

Seaver 01-02-2004 10:51 PM

I never threw anything away. Just put into a box in the back of the closet.

For me though its kinda different, I've stayed friends with every single ex of mine, even with those that cheated on me or treated me like shit.

I guess I'm different because no matter what they put me through I always see why I origionally liked them, so even though I'd never go back to dating them, I've always remained friends. So the objects are kinda like old HS photos, you pull them out once a year or so, think back, smile, and get on with your life.

If you think destroying things will help you... go for it. Many of my friends never got over the girl until they threw out/destroyed everything their ex left, only you know whats best for you.

Zorvox 01-02-2004 10:54 PM

I printed every e-mail out, and her letters and stuck em into a folder, I'm prolly never gotta open it, but if I ever just wanna read about it, then I can !! (email was a pretty big way of communication, even though we saw each other about 3-4 times a week).

I can see where keeping the stuff can be, bad.. but where it can be good too I spose.. I guess in the early stages up break up you don't wanna be reminded.... but I guess once you've moved on and stuff it'd be okay..

SparklingDot 01-03-2004 12:54 AM

I keep the best. I'll remember what happened, but I prefer to have reminders (tucked safely in the back of the closet, rarely seeing the light of day) of the good times.

Enzomat 01-03-2004 01:15 AM

The general rule is
 
If they pissed you off or screwed you over you sell anaything of value and burn the rest. If it was a mutual split return their stuff and keep a few of the naked pics for your own personal thrills hehehehehe..............

phaedrus 01-03-2004 02:26 AM

I've kept momentos of all of them. Hell, I still have stuff from the girl I fooled around with when I was in the sixth grade. Most of it is boxed up, but I've no inclination to get rid of any of it. Is this bad?

How many people would be bothered if the S.O. kept momentos of their exs? I could imagine some people being bothered by the panty collection or the old love letters, but I wonder for how many it would be an issue.

analog 01-03-2004 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cchris
I keep the flammables for special occasions but the rest gets tossed.
Stole my answer... except EVERYTHING is flammable when you're me.

I like using this old army ammo box... dump some gas in there over top anything, drop in match, watch happily.

rideough 01-03-2004 04:52 AM

Try to think of it logically...keep all of the cool stuff,like watches,cd,dvd playersand whatever....the rest just throw out,you don't need love letters and movie tickets.

Sometimes its better to act like a stupid guy and try to be less emotional about these things.

tisonlyi 01-03-2004 06:24 AM

Forever.

Why would I throw them out?

The pain is more than cancelled out by the good memories.

But then, i'm a freak.

tisonlyi 01-03-2004 06:26 AM

Quote:

Try to think of it logically...keep all of the cool stuff,like watches,cd,dvd playersand whatever
EXACTLY.

People will throw non-valuable memntos straight away.

I doubt they'll throw the ford out with the gift tags.

(though maybe they should, evil Fords.)

tfin 01-03-2004 07:12 AM

I have way more good and great happy memories of the x than bad ones. I have kept everything. I don't pull it out every day or every month, but I am not going to trash the last 7 years of my life. Althogh I totaly agree with keeping the nudie pics. My x was once in a photography class in college. She took some realy awesome nudes of her self using a timer and tripod. They she developed the pics her self and used some really awesome developing methods on them to get some cool effects. I really like them a lot and some times when I feel down I pul them out and remember that some one did care about me. Then I wank it. ;)

Once I was talking to the x and she asked if I would ever send out her pics or use them for black mail. I told her I never would, and I ment it. To me they are my pics and only my pics. Even if I never am with her again they are something that her current BF or future BF will never have.

Wow, that was a little longer than it started out to be.

Sleepyjack 01-03-2004 08:32 AM

i still have a lot of thingas girls have given me in the apst. It's probably a little sad, but i like stuff liek that :o
although i avenv't had any kind of long term relationship with all the pain of breaking up and stfuf anyway :(

timalkin 01-03-2004 08:52 AM

I tossed all of my stuff into the garbage can.

It sucked when we got back together and I had to explain myself though. :D

Rodney 01-03-2004 09:17 AM

If it doesn't mean anything to you, trash it. If it still does, keep it -- if you don't mind your future wife wondering about it, and if you don't mind your kids finding it and giggling over it in 20 years.

On the other hand, 20 years from now, might not be bad to have the stuff to look at for a little perspective. Like, if you have kids and they're in their late teens and having goofy relationships that worry you, you can revisit your old relationship at that age and see how much difference there is between you at that age, and them. It's just an envelope, easy to store.

As for sending her stuff back to her, I wouldn't; I've had it done to me, and the message I get from it is "Here, I'm cleaning you out of my life." Well, I didn't really need an announcement, thanks; if you don't want it, trash it silently and move on.

james t kirk 01-03-2004 09:42 AM

He he,

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, i was dating my first love (3 years. It started at 20 and ended around 23)

Anyway, we had given each other many gifts, cards, etc, and i truly cherished those she gave me.

When we broke up, and it became obvious that we weren't going to get back together, I went off the deep end and threw everything she ever gave to me away.

I had bought her a "promise ring" which back then cost me a fair heap of money for a poor university student. She had returned it to me when i so arrogantly demanded it back. (I won't bore you with details about why our relationship ended, just let's say it was not my doing.)

Anyway, all the clothes she ever bought me went into the salvation army bin. Some tools that she had bought me were given away / discarded. The cards and letters went into the trash.

The ring??

Well, I heaved that off a pier into Lake Ontario one summer's night. That along with a gold pen set and this crystal thing she bought me.

Regrets???

You bet. I regret ever asking her for that ring back regardless, and I regret everything else that was tossed.

I was very very hurt and acting emotionally thinking that it would help erase the pain. I don't think that it did to tell you the truth.

Fire 01-03-2004 11:44 PM

coolest thing I ever heard of doing in this situ came to me from a good friend- found out his fiancee was cheating on him and they broke up- he took every thing she had given him ( and I mean everything) - boxed it up in a big t.v. box and labled it in marker "BOX OF LIES" and sent it to her.... Yes he was very bitter- and imho he had every right to be- anyhoo he is much better now , and in a great relationship.

Ustwo 01-04-2004 12:15 AM

Naked pictures - Keep for internet posting. ;)

Rest - Toss, it doesn't help having a constant reminder, and by the time you can be nostalgic, most of it will be worthless anyways.

But thats me, I was never big on gift giving or gift getting, so its not like any relationships I was in gave me piles of stuff to deal with. In fact thats one of the issues I settled pretty quickly with the women I was with, and it always seemed to work out well.

vveronica 01-04-2004 06:53 AM

I had a boyfriend several years ago who made a mold of his erection and created a dildo from it... I've kept that memento for years.. Frankly I dont miss him at all now that i have,,, hehehehehe never mind...

Bamrak 01-04-2004 10:46 AM

Toss it. I never keep the stuff unless I forget about it. If you moved on, why keep it?

tdoc 01-04-2004 10:52 AM

Just found one from 15 years ago just before logging on. It was a permission slip to abuse her body anyway I saw fit. She was an aerobics instructor! Too bad she was nuts. It's going to the county archive this wednesday.

grouchie 01-04-2004 06:03 PM

I think that keeping the shit is a good idea. Maybe not everything, but some things. Things that remind you of good times, things that remind you of who you used to be.

you can't lose touch with your past, you can learn from it and grow though.

I still have stuff in my basement from my first serious relationship. Letters that were passed back and forth during Algebra class, lots of them infact. Every once in a while it's nice to look at them and see the conversations we had on paper, some of the odd remarks that were made.
Man, good times.

I actually get along and still communicate with my X's though. When i find stuff from peole i no lnoger talk to, most of it gets tossed, but a few momentos stay.

World's King 01-04-2004 07:24 PM

Oddly I don't have anything from my X-fiance... she took it all back. But the girl I dated before her made me keep everything. Even the shit I gave her. It's all in a box in my closet where it belongs. Covered in dust. And utterly worthless... just like she is.

majik_6 01-15-2004 05:23 PM

I actually have kept most of the notes, pictures, etc from my only two serious relationships.

The first one was a total storybook "16, blah blah blah, innocent, yada yada yada" kinda thing (okay, it wasn't, but I chose to live in denial). Keeping that stuff has reminded me of my "first love".

The other relationship was a HUGE part of my life for a long time, so I've kept a lot of that stuff. Plus, it was pretty recent.


The way I see it, those are the true momentos of highschool. And I'd like to look back on the relationships based on those love letters and smiling pictures instead of the "great guy from the pretzel store" that my recent ex ran off with or "hey, remember when I was secretly entertaining prospective boyfriends at hush-hush pool parties while we dated?" Actually they weren't so secretive...seems I was the only one that didn't know.

Just makes it easier to glaze over the pain...one of my specialties.

bonehed1 01-15-2004 05:26 PM

I still have the momentos from my girl friend of 8 years ago...they are in some box somewhere

AlCap0wn 01-16-2004 08:50 PM

I burned pretty much all of it.

The nekkid pics I'm saving for when she gets married, just so I can use the famous line ...

Me: "Got any naked pictures of your wife?"
Him: "No."
Me: "Want some?"

denim 01-17-2004 07:17 AM

Mementos of ex's? I have a few, but they're usable on their own, and not gifts per se. One turned me on to a particular musical performer, for instance. I'm NOT tossing the CDs.

aintyoboyfriend 01-17-2004 07:46 AM

I keep a few momentos around.

Even though I am no longer with that person, they were still very much a part of my life.

Its good to look back every now and again and realise how silly we really were.

Aladdin Sane 01-17-2004 10:33 AM

I had a very nice collection of naked pics from every serious gf, and then some. When I got married, I threw them all away. I wish I still had them now. That's not to say I'm not happily married, 'cause I am. I would just like to have them for masturbation.

SiNai 01-17-2004 10:45 AM

Weird.

I have a few pictures of past girlfriends I keep around in out-of-the-way places just to remind me of the good times, but not more than the pictures of everything else that has happened to me. Besides that, I've kept all the emails I've been sent from girls interested in me just because I have no heart to press the 'delete' button, and it's interesting to go through them sometimes.

*Nikki* 01-17-2004 11:59 AM

After my ex and I broke up a I got rid of a lot of stuff. After six years with someone that is a lot of memories.

I still have all the cards and pictures though.

I don't want to throw those away bc they were a large part of my life and I do believe that at one time he was completely in love with me.

That is all I need.

mrbuck12000 01-17-2004 03:56 PM

I recently moved into a house that my girlfriend and i bought. I was going thru my pictures that i have accumulated over the years including ex's and i decided to put them to bed....ie the trash can. enuf was enuf. i will probably never see any of them ever again and that is just fine. Time to let it go.

mr b

SabrinaFair 01-18-2004 12:33 PM

I have a lot of mementos from former relationships...I do a lot of scrapbooking type stuff, so that's one reason. Another is that I've never really parted on bad terms with a former lover. Might as well keep that stuff for a few laughs when you're reminiscing. I don't know...I find my old relationships to be hillarious, but that's just me.


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