Damned if I do, Damned if I don't - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Smoey · 11-11-2003, 07:58 AM

I need some advice from the experts out there!

I have been involved with a girl for about four years, last year we decided that we should just be "friends". She is turning 21 and I don't want to deprive her of the good times that come with that age, I am 23.
So we have kept our distance, but always remained in touch, every time we hang out she wants to know if I have hooked up with any other chics. I have and every time I tell her she gets pissed off. She won't give it up to me, but gets mad if I go get some from somewhere else, what's a man supposed to do?

mb99usa · 11-11-2003, 08:14 AM

It's just my .02 worth but I'd lay it out to her. Remind her that she does not want anything more than friendship from you so you are exploring more intimate relationships with other people. If she has a problem with this then you cannot be friends with her.

You can also turn it around on her and ask if she has hooked up with any other guys.

JStrider · 11-11-2003, 08:25 AM

yah... sounds like shes still got feelings for you... and hasnt completely gotten over the relationship... id prolly discuss it with her like mb99usa said...

Smoey · 11-11-2003, 08:25 AM

she told me that she hasn't hooked up with anybody, I believe her, she wants to keep a little flame betwen us, if you know what I mean, but yet I'm stuck in the middle.

JStrider · 11-11-2003, 08:27 AM

maybe let her know a little flame... or kindof a relationship isnt enough for you... its either all or nothing...

Smoey · 11-11-2003, 08:36 AM

I tried the "nothing" side, I myself can't seem to get over her too. In fact, that's why I was hooking up with different girls.

vveronica · 11-11-2003, 08:59 AM

she is so young in the head... she wants you to want her. My suggestion as was said before, tell her the facts, if she wants a relationship then have one. if not, there is no reason to be a friend here. If you cant walk away from her completely and you cant do the relationship thing then dont tell her anything about your life outside of the time you two are together...

arch13 · 11-11-2003, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by vveronica
she is so young in the head...

Sorry vveronica, isn't that all 21 year old girls?

I kid, i kid.

Dano069 · 11-11-2003, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mb99usa
It's just my .02 worth but I'd lay it out to her. Remind her that she does not want anything more than friendship from you so you are exploring more intimate relationships with other people. If she has a problem with this then you cannot be friends with her.

You can also turn it around on her and ask if she has hooked up with any other guys.

Yeah, what MB said.

World's King · 11-11-2003, 12:39 PM

I'd leave her for good.

There is no reason to play games. If you're getting action from other girls then you obviously aren't an ugly mother fucker so you can keep getting it from other girls. There is no need to keep running around with a trick that has no idea what she wants or who she is. Find one that's got her head on straight and start something new. Be a man and stand up to that shit. Walk away.

There is no better way to get a girl outta your head then to fuck her out.

lurkette · 11-11-2003, 12:48 PM

Yup, time to move on.

She doesn't own you, quit acting like she does. If she's pissed you're sleeping with other women, too damn bad. When she asks if you've hooked up with other women, tell her it's none of her business.

I think the two of you need to quit leading each other on and just make a decision: be together or don't. You've obviously both still got a thing for each other, but you're also both acting a little like children. Time to shit or get off the pot, to be crude about it. Either break up and quit hanging out and talking about your sex life, or get together and mean it.

motdakasha · 11-11-2003, 01:39 PM

lurkette said what I was thinking while scrolling through responses.

analog · 11-12-2003, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lurkette
Yup, time to move on.

She doesn't own you, quit acting like she does. If she's pissed you're sleeping with other women, too damn bad. When she asks if you've hooked up with other women, tell her it's none of her business.

I think the two of you need to quit leading each other on and just make a decision: be together or don't. You've obviously both still got a thing for each other, but you're also both acting a little like children. Time to shit or get off the pot, to be crude about it. Either break up and quit hanging out and talking about your sex life, or get together and mean it.

Yup. Every word of it.

jay-g · 11-12-2003, 03:45 AM

If you care for her and want to be with her, then respect her opinion on sex and be patient. If you want some sex and cant wait for her to be ready, then tell her not to get mad because you guys are just friends.

aphex140 · 11-12-2003, 03:49 AM

Does she ask you about the other girls or do you tell her. Not wishing to sound like and evil bastard ( sorry if it is some ones user name {type this before thinking of doing a search}).

Why not screw the others but do not tell her. If she has feeling for you then things will come to a head at some point. Chill out and think thing through logically if it does.

Some times the goal is the hole.

jw_toyboy · 11-13-2003, 03:46 AM

Typicall imature mindgames - I hate 'em. Yes I agree with the consensus, lay down the law to her tell her the tap runs hot or cold... none of that stupid inbetween shit.

1337haxor · 11-13-2003, 04:57 AM

Tell her what you want, don't play these games that lead each other on. It will only hurt both of you and make it harder to let go and forget.

Smoey · 11-13-2003, 07:13 AM

I really appreciate all the advice, I am still not sure what road I am going to travel, however, we are supposed to hang out tonight and get drunk together, I will let you know what takes place

Bill O'Rights · 11-19-2003, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smoey
I really appreciate all the advice, I am still not sure what road I am going to travel, however, we are supposed to hang out tonight and get drunk together, I will let you know what takes place

Well...it's been *looks at watch* almost a week now.

Yup...she killed him.

Smoey · 11-19-2003, 09:00 AM

NO SHE DID NOT, but my obligations almost got me!

We hung out last Thursday night. She thought we're supposed to go to diner, I thought we're supposed to get drunk together and ate on my own. She came over, I was already drinking and had bigger balls, I laid down the law as advised by my fellow loggers. I told that she was going through this holiday season alone, and that it was too hard for me to be just "friends" with.

See she wants a relationship that is "Hands off, Unless I want You". She doesn't find me attractive or sexual anymore. I, Smoey, can't seem to keep my hands off her when she is around. I don't want her coming around here no more uless she is ready to get fucked, that might seem tasteless, but I think that is the only thing I really want from her

mb99usa · 11-19-2003, 09:09 AM

At least you were honest with her.

How did she take it? Inquiring minds want to know

Smoey · 11-19-2003, 09:21 AM

Well, her monthly friend was visiting, otherwise she said she would have given it up to me. But she couldn't and was real emotional, typical girl style-----------I'm over it!

mb99usa · 11-19-2003, 09:27 AM

If she used the red tide as an excuse then she wasn't gonna give you any anyway. Way to stand your ground. Hope things work out for both of you.

Bill O'Rights · 11-19-2003, 12:24 PM

You did right, man. You did right

analog · 11-19-2003, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smoey
I don't want her coming around here no more uless she is ready to get fucked, that might seem tasteless, but I think that is the only thing I really want from her

You know what, that's a fine attitude for this girl, but you better never use it on a girl you don't mind losing forever because, to many girls, this would generally be seen as the ultimate offense- useful only for sex.

Also sounds like you could tone down the sexism a bit, most girls don't like it when a guy treats them as either "fuckable" or "not fuckable", but often this will come with the addition of a little extra self-respect.

sub zero · 11-19-2003, 10:38 PM

You're getting yours. She still wants you.

I don't see where the problem is.

taliendo · 11-20-2003, 11:33 AM

was it you and your gaint caljones talking, or was it the alcohol?

just curious . . .

11-11-2003, 07:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
Smoey Upright	Damned if I do, Damned if I don't I need some advice from the experts out there! I have been involved with a girl for about four years, last year we decided that we should just be "friends". She is turning 21 and I don't want to deprive her of the good times that come with that age, I am 23. So we have kept our distance, but always remained in touch, every time we hang out she wants to know if I have hooked up with any other chics. I have and every time I tell her she gets pissed off. She won't give it up to me, but gets mad if I go get some from somewhere else, what's a man supposed to do?

11-11-2003, 08:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	It's just my .02 worth but I'd lay it out to her. Remind her that she does not want anything more than friendship from you so you are exploring more intimate relationships with other people. If she has a problem with this then you cannot be friends with her. You can also turn it around on her and ask if she has hooked up with any other guys. __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

11-11-2003, 08:25 AM	#3 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	yah... sounds like shes still got feelings for you... and hasnt completely gotten over the relationship... id prolly discuss it with her like mb99usa said... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

11-11-2003, 08:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	maybe let her know a little flame... or kindof a relationship isnt enough for you... its either all or nothing... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

11-11-2003, 08:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	she is so young in the head... she wants you to want her. My suggestion as was said before, tell her the facts, if she wants a relationship then have one. if not, there is no reason to be a friend here. If you cant walk away from her completely and you cant do the relationship thing then dont tell her anything about your life outside of the time you two are together... __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

11-11-2003, 08:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Smoey Upright	she told me that she hasn't hooked up with anybody, I believe her, she wants to keep a little flame betwen us, if you know what I mean, but yet I'm stuck in the middle.

11-11-2003, 08:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
Smoey Upright	I tried the "nothing" side, I myself can't seem to get over her too. In fact, that's why I was hooking up with different girls.

11-11-2003, 12:39 PM	#10 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	I'd leave her for good. There is no reason to play games. If you're getting action from other girls then you obviously aren't an ugly mother fucker so you can keep getting it from other girls. There is no need to keep running around with a trick that has no idea what she wants or who she is. Find one that's got her head on straight and start something new. Be a man and stand up to that shit. Walk away. There is no better way to get a girl outta your head then to fuck her out. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

11-11-2003, 12:48 PM	#11 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Yup, time to move on. She doesn't own you, quit acting like she does. If she's pissed you're sleeping with other women, too damn bad. When she asks if you've hooked up with other women, tell her it's none of her business. I think the two of you need to quit leading each other on and just make a decision: be together or don't. You've obviously both still got a thing for each other, but you're also both acting a little like children. Time to shit or get off the pot, to be crude about it. Either break up and quit hanging out and talking about your sex life, or get together and mean it. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

11-11-2003, 01:39 PM	#12 (permalink)
motdakasha Hiya Puddin'! Miss me? Location: Silicon Valley, CA	lurkette said what I was thinking while scrolling through responses. __________________ =^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

11-12-2003, 03:45 AM	#14 (permalink)
jay-g Addict	If you care for her and want to be with her, then respect her opinion on sex and be patient. If you want some sex and cant wait for her to be ready, then tell her not to get mad because you guys are just friends.

11-12-2003, 03:49 AM	#15 (permalink)
aphex140 Psycho Location: northamptonshire	Does she ask you about the other girls or do you tell her. Not wishing to sound like and evil bastard ( sorry if it is some ones user name {type this before thinking of doing a search}). Why not screw the others but do not tell her. If she has feeling for you then things will come to a head at some point. Chill out and think thing through logically if it does. Some times the goal is the hole.

11-13-2003, 03:46 AM	#16 (permalink)
jw_toyboy Tilted Location: Australia	Typicall imature mindgames - I hate 'em. Yes I agree with the consensus, lay down the law to her tell her the tap runs hot or cold... none of that stupid inbetween shit.

11-13-2003, 04:57 AM	#17 (permalink)
1337haxor Insane Location: PA	Tell her what you want, don't play these games that lead each other on. It will only hurt both of you and make it harder to let go and forget.

11-13-2003, 07:13 AM	#18 (permalink)
Smoey Upright	I really appreciate all the advice, I am still not sure what road I am going to travel, however, we are supposed to hang out tonight and get drunk together, I will let you know what takes place

11-19-2003, 12:24 PM	#24 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	You did right, man. You did right __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

11-19-2003, 09:00 AM	#20 (permalink)
Smoey Upright	NO SHE DID NOT, but my obligations almost got me! We hung out last Thursday night. She thought we're supposed to go to diner, I thought we're supposed to get drunk together and ate on my own. She came over, I was already drinking and had bigger balls, I laid down the law as advised by my fellow loggers. I told that she was going through this holiday season alone, and that it was too hard for me to be just "friends" with. See she wants a relationship that is "Hands off, Unless I want You". She doesn't find me attractive or sexual anymore. I, Smoey, can't seem to keep my hands off her when she is around. I don't want her coming around here no more uless she is ready to get fucked, that might seem tasteless, but I think that is the only thing I really want from her Last edited by Smoey; 11-19-2003 at 09:22 AM..

11-19-2003, 09:09 AM	#21 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	At least you were honest with her. How did she take it? Inquiring minds want to know __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

11-19-2003, 09:21 AM	#22 (permalink)
Smoey Upright	Well, her monthly friend was visiting, otherwise she said she would have given it up to me. But she couldn't and was real emotional, typical girl style-----------I'm over it!

11-19-2003, 09:27 AM	#23 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	If she used the red tide as an excuse then she wasn't gonna give you any anyway. Way to stand your ground. Hope things work out for both of you. __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

11-19-2003, 10:38 PM	#26 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	You're getting yours. She still wants you. I don't see where the problem is. __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!

11-20-2003, 11:33 AM	#27 (permalink)
taliendo Insane Location: an indelible crawl through the gutters	was it you and your gaint caljones talking, or was it the alcohol? just curious . . . __________________ -LIFE IS ABSURD-