Damned if I do, Damned if I don't
 

I need some advice from the experts out there!

I have been involved with a girl for about four years, last year we decided that we should just be "friends". She is turning 21 and I don't want to deprive her of the good times that come with that age, I am 23.
So we have kept our distance, but always remained in touch, every time we hang out she wants to know if I have hooked up with any other chics. I have and every time I tell her she gets pissed off. She won't give it up to me, but gets mad if I go get some from somewhere else, what's a man supposed to do?

It's just my .02 worth but I'd lay it out to her. Remind her that she does not want anything more than friendship from you so you are exploring more intimate relationships with other people. If she has a problem with this then you cannot be friends with her.

You can also turn it around on her and ask if she has hooked up with any other guys.

yah... sounds like shes still got feelings for you... and hasnt completely gotten over the relationship... id prolly discuss it with her like mb99usa said...

she told me that she hasn't hooked up with anybody, I believe her, she wants to keep a little flame betwen us, if you know what I mean, but yet I'm stuck in the middle.

maybe let her know a little flame... or kindof a relationship isnt enough for you... its either all or nothing...

I tried the "nothing" side, I myself can't seem to get over her too. In fact, that's why I was hooking up with different girls.

she is so young in the head... she wants you to want her. My suggestion as was said before, tell her the facts, if she wants a relationship then have one. if not, there is no reason to be a friend here. If you cant walk away from her completely and you cant do the relationship thing then dont tell her anything about your life outside of the time you two are together...

Sorry vveronica, isn't that all 21 year old girls?:D
I kid, i kid.

Yeah, what MB said.

I'd leave her for good.

There is no reason to play games. If you're getting action from other girls then you obviously aren't an ugly mother fucker so you can keep getting it from other girls. There is no need to keep running around with a trick that has no idea what she wants or who she is. Find one that's got her head on straight and start something new. Be a man and stand up to that shit. Walk away.

There is no better way to get a girl outta your head then to fuck her out.

Yup, time to move on.

She doesn't own you, quit acting like she does. If she's pissed you're sleeping with other women, too damn bad. When she asks if you've hooked up with other women, tell her it's none of her business.

I think the two of you need to quit leading each other on and just make a decision: be together or don't. You've obviously both still got a thing for each other, but you're also both acting a little like children. Time to shit or get off the pot, to be crude about it. Either break up and quit hanging out and talking about your sex life, or get together and mean it.

lurkette said what I was thinking while scrolling through responses.

Yup. Every word of it.

If you care for her and want to be with her, then respect her opinion on sex and be patient. If you want some sex and cant wait for her to be ready, then tell her not to get mad because you guys are just friends.

Does she ask you about the other girls or do you tell her. Not wishing to sound like and evil bastard ( sorry if it is some ones user name {type this before thinking of doing a search}).

Why not screw the others but do not tell her. If she has feeling for you then things will come to a head at some point. Chill out and think thing through logically if it does.

Some times the goal is the hole.

Typicall imature mindgames - I hate 'em. Yes I agree with the consensus, lay down the law to her tell her the tap runs hot or cold... none of that stupid inbetween shit.

Tell her what you want, don't play these games that lead each other on. It will only hurt both of you and make it harder to let go and forget.

I really appreciate all the advice, I am still not sure what road I am going to travel, however, we are supposed to hang out tonight and get drunk together, I will let you know what takes place

Well...it's been *looks at watch* almost a week now.

Yup...she killed him. :hmm:

NO SHE DID NOT, but my obligations almost got me!

We hung out last Thursday night. She thought we're supposed to go to diner, I thought we're supposed to get drunk together and ate on my own. She came over, I was already drinking and had bigger balls, I laid down the law as advised by my fellow loggers. I told that she was going through this holiday season alone, and that it was too hard for me to be just "friends" with.

See she wants a relationship that is "Hands off, Unless I want You". She doesn't find me attractive or sexual anymore. I, Smoey, can't seem to keep my hands off her when she is around. I don't want her coming around here no more uless she is ready to get fucked, that might seem tasteless, but I think that is the only thing I really want from her

At least you were honest with her.

How did she take it? Inquiring minds want to know:)

Well, her monthly friend was visiting, otherwise she said she would have given it up to me. But she couldn't and was real emotional, typical girl style-----------I'm over it!

If she used the red tide as an excuse then she wasn't gonna give you any anyway. Way to stand your ground. Hope things work out for both of you.

You did right, man. You did right

You know what, that's a fine attitude for this girl, but you better never use it on a girl you don't mind losing forever because, to many girls, this would generally be seen as the ultimate offense- useful only for sex.

Also sounds like you could tone down the sexism a bit, most girls don't like it when a guy treats them as either "fuckable" or "not fuckable", but often this will come with the addition of a little extra self-respect.

You're getting yours. She still wants you.

I don't see where the problem is.

was it you and your gaint caljones talking, or was it the alcohol?

just curious . . .