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Old 11-04-2003, 10:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: San Diego, CA
I was just kiddin around on how women are hard to please and my gf got mad :(

I was talkin to my gf on the fone last nite about when she visits this weekend how much fun we'll have...then we were talking about how we cant get enough of eachother, and i made a joke that id prolly be dead tired after the first time we go at it and her awake waiting for more. Then she got quiet all of a sudden, and i guess she really took it personaly. Well she is on her 2nd day of her period, so she said emotions were running high. But i really didnt mean to hurt her by what i said. I like the fact that shes hard to please, gives me more to work for, I think she feels that being hard to please is a "problem" that its a bad thing...i dont see it that way... Is there anything i can do to let her know i love her the way she is? Anyone else have a similar problem like this ever?

Also i didnt outright say shes "hard to please" i said it like she could go on forever.
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Old 11-04-2003, 11:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Sounds to me like it's just hormone thingamagingies. Just keep your cool man, don't give in and start making excuses and arguing about it. If she's out for your faults she'll find some no matter what you do.
Just back away and let her cool off a bit. In time she'll realise that it was silly and things'll return to normal.

Either that or you hit a nerve and she may be very insecure about her 'performance' or yours or something of that nature and you're going to have your hands full.
I doubt that is the case though, but IF that is so, just tell her what you said in this thread and talk about it.

Then again, I am neither woman nor psychologist so it's just my $0.02. Good luck.
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Old 11-04-2003, 11:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Some people are insecure in their performane.. heck I know I am at times. But mate, you said this during 'the' days.. omg.. there has been many a man broken by saying something without thinking during 'the' days...

You could get a tub of her faaavvourite ice cream and like one of those 1 litre ones.. (Me and my fiancees fav is Chocolate Mud Cake.. mmmmm) then just stay up and talk about things while eating it.. hehe.. Buy her some flowers too

If you are gonna make cracks about something.. make sure she's in close quaters so she can hit you.. hehe
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Old 11-04-2003, 01:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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From another thread that you posted on:
Quote:
Originally posted by visotech
Just to clear things up, i am a guy, and im a virgin ...
Maybe she got the assumption that you were just trying to get layed. Emotional do to her cycle or not, a girl isn't going to want to listen to cracks like that - although you meant it to be a joke. If your gf knew of the two other threads that you had started (Sex using an Uncircumcised Penis? and Hands still retain the smell of a vagina after fingering...) I'm sure she would wonder about your motifs. You guys agreed that you're going to evolve into a sexual relationship, then keep the jokes and smart comments quiet untill you two can spend time together - long distance can change a lot, I've been there.
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Old 11-04-2003, 04:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
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So you want to be in a commited relationship? Good, Now repeat after me:
"I will not genralize about the gender in which i have a relationship, it only gets me in trouble and sleeping on the couch"

From now on when you feel the need to crack wise about something she may not appreciate or take offense to, repeat that under your breath instead.

Being in a relationship is about communication and trust and it's mighty diffficult for her to feel you trust her when you generalize about her gender. There is no way to invoke a sterotype about a gender but claim it doesn't apply to her. Keep that in mind.
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Old 11-04-2003, 04:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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If your portrail of the comments is accurate, then she over reacted. Either that or she's playing a mind game on ya. If you sincerely didn't mean to hurt her feelings then apologize to her in a way that she understands you mean it.

If she is still bitter about it and cannot let it go...well, get used to it cause she isn't going to change anytime soon and you will see this scenario play itself out over and over as long as you allow it.


- Sorry, I am a little bitter myself today. It'll pass...I think.
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Old 11-04-2003, 05:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I can't believe you said that to her while she's on her period. *sighs and shakes head* Man, you really ARE a man, aren't ya?

Anyway, I know when I'm on my period, things that don't usually bother me piss the hell outta me, and then I look back on it, and wonder why I made such an ass out of myself by reacting the way I did.

DO NOT-- I repeat-- DO NOT BUY HER ICE CREAM!!!! If she is still on her period when you see her, and if she took anything you said to heart, she will be self-conscious and insecure. You DO NOT want to add to that by buying her a tub of ice cream, do you? THAT would result in MY bf sleeping on the couch, I think. Eating a pint of ice cream is something girls do together, not something a boyfriend should try doing with his girl when she's upset. Nonononononononono.

Same thing about the generalizations, though. They're never safe, and I agree with what was said earlier. Don't even joke about it on the phone. It's harder to read people that way, and it's easier to piss someone (especially a girl on her PERIOD-- why don't guys call it that more often lol) over the phone than it is in person, and it's typically on accident.

Anyway, I'm starting to digress, so I'll stop now. Good luck with your girl, man!
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Old 11-04-2003, 06:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: San Diego, CA
It seems like she was over it 10 min after i said it, then she kept asking i was ok since i kept appologizing and telling her that i didnt mean to hurt her (the truth). Im pretty sure she let it go...But lesson learned. Shes my first gf, and i dont have sisters so i dont know too much about dealing with women on their period lol. But in the summer we'd always get ice cream, that was our thing, so i dont think shed think anything of it if we got ice cream lol thx everyone, gosh i love this board.
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Old 11-04-2003, 06:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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women always think men mean more than what they really, actually say. They "read into" everything. Men usually just mean what they say.

Women can very easily be "fuckin' nuts" (I think that is the technical/medical term for it) a 1-3 days every month. If you think this is bad, wait until they are pregnant - you get this for about 5.5 months solid.

You basically need to be nice to them, say "yes dear" a lot, and try - somehow - to realize that it can never be worth trying to "win" an argument during the times when the woman is "fuckin' nuts"
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Old 11-04-2003, 09:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Something to consider:

Though this doesn't seem to be exactly the case here, I tend to last a lot longer than my girlfriend. As a general principle, I have a much easier time getting her to orgasm than she does me. I always *love* what she does, and it feels great all the time, but for some reason it takes longer.

As a result of this, it usually ends up being fantastic when I actually do orgasm; however, at the same time, I feel selfish making her do all that work. Or, when we're having sex, if I get a little over-ambitious and make her orgasm, I generally don't like to keep pounding away at her afterwards, when it doesn't feel good for her. She says she doesn't mind, so I let her get me to orgasm, but it feels one sided.

We talk about this though, and it's not a big problem for us. Just thought I might give you a heads up on a potential reason (aside from "that time of the month") for this behavior.
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Old 11-04-2003, 09:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by visotech
Then she got quiet all of a sudden, and i guess she really took it personaly.
Ok how can you tell if she took it personally? I read your post and I'm thinking "maybe she went silent because she that's what she really wanted (to ravage you)". So I ask, how do you know that she took this personally? Someone please enlighten me if I'm missing something here.
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Old 11-04-2003, 11:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by arch13
So you want to be in a commited relationship? Good, Now repeat after me:
"I will not genralize about the gender in which i have a relationship, it only gets me in trouble and sleeping on the couch"
Excellent credo.

Ok dude, here's the beef. Someone else also mentioned it, but if you haven't even fucked her yet, your comments could be seen as quite the naughty assumption. Girls don't like it when you assume they'll fuck you- and if she weren't a virgin, she'd likely see that as you calling her a slut, and calling yourself out as a jerkoff. Jerkoffs tell girls they're going to fuck them, not nice guys.

NOTE: Sometimes this is used as playful teasing- but in your case, no. For it to be playful teasing, you'd have to already 1. be fucking her regularly, and you're an established lay, and you're just heating her up for later, or 2. you're in a relationship with her, and sex is <b>already</b> a very good and integral part of your relationship.

Also, not only did you make an assumption as to the penetration of her vagina, but you branded her as "effort". Most girls do not like to be thought of as a "hassle", or "difficult" or worse- "hard to please", and that's what you did.

Firstly, you've got to have more confidence in yourself, man!! You can't be digging on your heretofore unproven sexual prowess! If you're going to tease, make it GOOD, make her WANT it. Don't make her think, "oh god, i'll never EVER have my own orgasm", which is kinda what you did. Actually, it's exactly what you did.

You want to know the key to getting a girl to orgasm is? It's MENTAL. No amount of fingering or pounding can relate to the <b>AWESOME</b> power of the mind. If you tease her right, which includes LOTS of wonderful foreplay, she'll be so fuckin hot she'll scream <b>your</b> name, God's, and anyone else's you'd like her to the very first time you stick it in her. And on top of that, she'll want it so bad she'll fuck you back.

The man who thinks he does <b>all</b> the fucking is a man who can't fuck. If you do it right, she'll be fuckin you back just as hard as you can give it to her, no matter the position.

And, as any good sex advice post should end, I leave you with the following:

<b>WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM. </b>I swear, if we get a thread from you in 2 weeks about you freaking out because your girl is throwin up every morning and missed her period and you didn't wear a condom because you were "embarrassed" to buy them or some such shit, I'll come and find your stupid ass and bitch-slap you. (j/k about being stupid and bitch-slapping, it's all in good humor) Have fun!
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Old 11-05-2003, 06:39 AM   #13 (permalink)
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When I was in high school, my best friend had this very nice looking girlfriend. He was the kind of guy that scored 35 on the ACT and looked the part (i.e. nerd). He couldn't believe he had landed such a cute girl. One time when he took her home, she didn't want to get out of the car and wanted to keep kissing him. He made some off-handed comment about her being insatiable. Bam, end of the relationship. Of course this was extreme, but it was high school.
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Old 11-05-2003, 06:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
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A LOT of people read too much into everything. Not just women, but many guys too.
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