rainheart

Can someone explain to me why it's so bad to be a sexually promiscuous girl? What is the stigma?

Thank you in advance.

phredgreen

for the same reason it's a good idea for women to stay away from loose guys. it's an empty act, devoid of any emotional meaning, and there's a very real danger of infection from their many undocumented exploits.

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ooferomen

religion

rogue49

umm...phred...I disagree here.
As long as the woman is responsible with her encounters,
and she taking some pleasure with the acts,
then there is no issue.

You're placing your context for sex into another's standards.

Unfortunately...our society has a double standard.
It's "unofficially" encouraged for men to be studly,
and ladies to be "proper".

Men are more allowed to be detached from the act,
and ladies are viewed as more delicate.

I don't believe in calling ANY woman a slut
it's a negative conotation applied by those who are either prudish, unexperienced, judgemental
or even being hypocritical.

As long as a woman is being responsible for her encounters,
and understands the consequences of sex.
Then the number of lovers shouldn't be an issue.
As it should be applied to men too.

We are in a modern society, where women don't have the consequences of earlier times.
We should adjust our thinking,
Unfortunately sometimes viewpoints don't change as fast as culture.

ratbastid

[quote]Very enlightened thinking, rogue49. I wonder if it could be said that ALL stigmas are simply a matter of society and culture not yet having caught up with reality? If that's the nature of a stigma? There are some stigmas that I'm not quite ready to say are just backward social conditioning. Incest, for instance. I guess I could just be highly conditioned about it, but it still seems wrong.

As far as this particular one goes, what society says and what many of us here at TFP say are likely to be very different. It's Double Standard Number One that a woman with many sexual partners is dirty and wrong, and a man with many sexual partners is a hero and a stud. Doesn't make it right, but in the minds of many, many people, it's true.

Explain it? I can't. Doesn't make much sense, when you actually sit down to think about it.

raeanna74

When it comes to incest it makes good sense not to mix blood with sex. I have a friend who's parents were 1st cousins and he is a hemophiliac. The reason is that any latent genes for disorders such at that are more commonly able to manifest when the parents are close on the genetic map.

Personally I wouldn't engage in it because I know my family and know the problems that would come of it. Not saying the criticism but I don't want to be that open with my family even though I think my sister-in-law is hot and I know she's bi too.

As far as sluts - I think that originates from back when women did not work outside the home. They were more dependant on their husbands for their livlihood. A woman needed a man who would stand by her when she got pregnant. A man could have sex without living with the consequences as much. I'm glad for the laws that ask a man to take equal responsibility for the children that that help make. Also Birth Control was not as convenient or readily available in past times. I think that it is a stigma that has not adjusted with time.

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gabshu

I think there's an evolutionary viewpoint to this. Men are designed to spread their seed to as many women as they can, while women need 9 months of preparation for having a baby and then that baby is not self suficient for many years after.

I think we're a little bit above that now a days, but that is my guess as to why it is so engrained in out heads that women should not be promicuous.

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visotech

Wow thats a pretty cool theory...

But yeah i think its wrong (well mabey impropper) for anyone to have sexual relations without emotion involved.

Met22

It's not about how much really,
It's who's talking about it. After all what's too many?
Depends who you ask. To judge someone by only their sexual exploits is closed minded and shallow.
Condemnation is only self serving. I have met many nice people others would call sluts. So what is the right answer?

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Uuudar

Rogue put it perfectly. 'nuff said.

analog

See the biggest problem I have is this: it's gotta be the frequency of sex that is the turn-off, right? So if the girl has had a million partners and had safe sex with all of them, and only once, how is that different than a million separate acts with 1 man?

I think that that's where some of the social double-standard comes from. Some girl or guy hears a girl go on about wanting sex and loving this position and that position and so on and so forth and can't get enough, etc... and that person in their closed-mindedness thinks "slut", ok?

The problem is, she has a boyfriend/husband she's monogamous with and fucking 3 times a day. Somehow just her lust for sex has caused someone to put her in the "slut" box, even though she's only fuckign 1 guy.

This way of thinking came about when a guy i barely know was having lunch with a female friend of mine and I. He didn't know she and I were close, and when she got up to go to the bathroom after having gone on about having so much sex and this and that, having left out the fact she was talking about doing it with her boyfriend, he turns to me and calls her a slut.

At first, I let him speak, then I said to him, "my girlfriend talks just like that, except she's referring to getting it from ME, 3 times a day, so does that make my girlfriend a slut too?" And then I explained that she also had a boyfriend. My friend came back from the bathroom, I told her what he said, and she told him to leave and never call her again. He was some guy she met at school, they were working on a project or something.

Funny thing is, about 3 days later she comes to me laughing and asks why the guy came to her complaining that I had kicked the shit out of him. I just smiled and shrugged.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful what you say- but more importantly, is in front of whom it is said.

chavos

I'd totally agree. Men can be sluts, too...

I'm not going to judge a woman who is forward about her desires, etc...i think that's great. but in world in which AIDS exists, sleeping around isn't smart. i think there are emotional costs, which women might be more likely to feel, but i wouldn't bet the house on that. for me, its a question of respect-does a person, regardless of gender, love themselves enough to be careful with their health, physical and emotional.