Not Tonight, Honey. I'm Logging On - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

twinkle · 06-30-2005, 05:56 AM

Quote:

I think a big danger is that young men who are constantly exposed to these fake, always-willing women start to have unreal expectations from real women, which makes them phobic about relationships.” Also, she surmises that cyberporn may play a role in what she describes as “the truly stunning things women today feel obliged to do sexually with a man—whether it’s something like anal penetration or simply not bothering to please themselves.”

<snip>

“I think it’s made me more picky,” he says. “These girls on the computer are just so hot. Obviously, you want to get with a girl like that. So you may be at a bar with a girl, and she’s really cool, but she’s not a ‘10,’ you know? She’s cool, she’s cute, but you quickly start to notice flaws.”

The unreal expectations set by porn, and the overinflated sense of what a guy "needs" in terms of appearance - both of those things are points I have been raising about porn frequently.

I personally think that if it's covert in a relationship, if it's hidden from the partner and you know it would upset them, then you shouldn't do it. Porn is ok in and of itself, and I think it's cool to share porn for erotic purposes... but if you're doing it and you need to hide it, and you can't stop? Something is horribly wrong.

Also, if there's EVER a point when you'd rather look at porn and masturbate rather than having sex with your real life partner, you're headed down a problematic road.

I feel that compulsive porn viewing really does speak to a dissatisfaction with your partner or an ego issue within yourself.

djlakes · 07-12-2005, 10:22 PM

Part of me thinks I have an issue, but then part of me can't be for certain. I think I'd be more certain if I had nude photos of her (my girlfriend). But part of me thinks she wouldn't be able to convey the confidence she has in person through the camera. I think that's one of the appeals of porn; the women portrayed convey the idea of sexual confidence. As they are portrayed, they know how they want it and when. From a personal standpoint, I have to say I find that attractive.

Masturbation to me is such a mechanical thing, just get off and make it go away so you can go about your day without being bothered. That in and of itself makes me partially disregard having an "addiction", but then at the same time I'm reminded of the fact that I'm getting off to the sight of other women, which even in my mind feels somehow wrong.

The true enjoyment comes with my girlfriend. While we don't have sex, there's still plenty of fun to be had for all. Of course, though, there are times where we can't, for one reason or another, and thus begins the porn search. She admits to doing so as well (masturbating, not looking up porn or erotic stories), which I totally understand, but she, "thinks about me", and here I am looking at other women...makes a man feel a little dirty, no?

Part of me wonders if half of the issues these men are having with their girlfriends would be settled if they would just communicate the kind of characteristics they enjoy. If they can't find that, perhaps they should move on? If my girlfriend could convey the confidence she has when we're together on camera, I don't think I'd have any need for porn. Speaking of which...*goes to research digital camera prices and remind self to talk w/ gf...*..

Rinndalir · 07-13-2005, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djlakes

If my girlfriend could convey the confidence she has when we're together on camera, I don't think I'd have any need for porn.

When I use porn to get off, about half the time I find myself doing it to pictures and videos of my woman, they are the hottest section of my porn stash.

paulskinback · 07-19-2005, 03:34 PM

I was about to post a really good reply, but I just remembered I came online to jack off to some porn...

07-19-2005, 03:34 PM	#44 (permalink)
paulskinback Insane	I was about to post a really good reply, but I just remembered I came online to jack off to some porn... __________________ 'Everything that can be invented has been invented.- - 1899, Charles Duell, U.S. Office of Patents. 'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.' - Ken Olson, 1977, Digital Equipment Corporation

07-12-2005, 10:22 PM	#42 (permalink)
djlakes Upright	Part of me thinks I have an issue, but then part of me can't be for certain. I think I'd be more certain if I had nude photos of her (my girlfriend). But part of me thinks she wouldn't be able to convey the confidence she has in person through the camera. I think that's one of the appeals of porn; the women portrayed convey the idea of sexual confidence. As they are portrayed, they know how they want it and when. From a personal standpoint, I have to say I find that attractive. Masturbation to me is such a mechanical thing, just get off and make it go away so you can go about your day without being bothered. That in and of itself makes me partially disregard having an "addiction", but then at the same time I'm reminded of the fact that I'm getting off to the sight of other women, which even in my mind feels somehow wrong. The true enjoyment comes with my girlfriend. While we don't have sex, there's still plenty of fun to be had for all. Of course, though, there are times where we can't, for one reason or another, and thus begins the porn search. She admits to doing so as well (masturbating, not looking up porn or erotic stories), which I totally understand, but she, "thinks about me", and here I am looking at other women...makes a man feel a little dirty, no? Part of me wonders if half of the issues these men are having with their girlfriends would be settled if they would just communicate the kind of characteristics they enjoy. If they can't find that, perhaps they should move on? If my girlfriend could convey the confidence she has when we're together on camera, I don't think I'd have any need for porn. Speaking of which...goes to research digital camera prices and remind self to talk w/ gf.....