3rd base play is ok -- but Orgasm makes her regret the session - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

aestivalis · 10-10-2003, 11:55 AM

There's this girl I know who has 'partial' sex with her bf.
They go as far as 3rd base, but nothing more.

The girl doesn't really initiate foreplay, so the bf starts it always.
Now the thing is, she's ok with making out and specially 2nd base..
but when 3rd base happens -- and she gets reaches orgasm...
and they stop....

she goes weird and distant on the bf, and the guy feels that he did some disservice (although it was a service!)! Like he did something wrong, and she's regretting the whole session.

Note though that the girl doesn't stop or avoid the sex...
she just doesn't initiate it, or "appreciate" the orgasm.

Can anyone 'explain' or say something enlightening about the whole thing?

The.Lunatic · 10-10-2003, 11:57 AM

.... maybe she's nuts because

.... she's a girl

Some people are just screwy if your involved with one maybe you shouldn't be.

tekaweni · 10-10-2003, 12:12 PM

Or maybe she's really a guy, that sounds like a guy thing to do right after orgasm.

Sorry, couldnt resist that

Maybe she feels guilty about her sexuality, some people do? Past issues, childhood bad experience etc.

prince_albert · 10-10-2003, 12:16 PM

Yeah, he should talk to her, ask her if there is something she wants to talk about.

Halx · 10-10-2003, 12:25 PM

This sounds like a social stigma that is implanted in her brain either by religion or parents. I have experience with dealing with this situation. It's all mental, of course.

It's up to her to progress out of this. If she wants to enjoy without regret, then practice makes perfect. Also, boyfriend needs to be MEGA-UNDERSTANDING about this. If she is not into it, though, it will never happen.

skysooner · 10-10-2003, 12:42 PM

I totally agree with Halx about this. I dated this one girl who was basically a prude until one day we got in the hot tub and she blew me on the side of the tub and we had sex there. She was totally into it. A few weeks later she was staying over at my house for the first time, and we had sex in my bed. She told me she knew that was the only reason I invited her over. She was basically a psycho due to her strict religious upbringing. If she had enough redeeming qualities I would have stayed with her, but alas she didn't. I ended up marrying my next girlfriend who was a virgin until our wedding day and pretty much psycho about sex for a few months afterwards.

aestivalis · 10-10-2003, 01:40 PM

How about the Girls? anything to say?

And yeah.. the girl is pretty much religious (though she's not the 'catholic' who goes giving blowjobs).. and closed/attached to her family; fear of pregnancy, etc

BF kinda thinks that maybe when she finds sex more comfortable.. say when marriage comes along or something else to make her comfortable about sex... that'll be the only time

Lunchbox7 · 10-10-2003, 01:44 PM

she's a freak

Astrocloud · 10-10-2003, 01:45 PM

I've dated women like this and I've dumped them.

Lebell · 10-10-2003, 02:06 PM

Guilt induced by whatever.

I dated a girl for awhile back in college who was exactly the same way. She was HOT until the end, feeling me up, letting me feel her up and then BAM! The guilt started that she actually enjoyed (near) sex with someone not her husband.

In this case, she was a strict Baptist and couldn't consolidate her feelings with her upbringing.

analog · 10-10-2003, 04:41 PM

I took a virgin (STRICT) Mormon girl who would blush and tell you not to be crude if you used the WORD "sex" in a sentence, let alone talk about the topic itself and turned her into a total sexaholic nympho. It can happen. It takes time- it takes PATIENCE- it takes understanding (and in my case, actual love

). Go slow. TALK. Really.

In your case, she most likely was taught at an early age that sex is bad, it's dirty, etc., more specifically that sex purely for pleasure and not for procreation (read: religious nuts) was wrong or bad or dirty or slutty, etc.

sixate · 10-10-2003, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Halx
This sounds like a social stigma that is implanted in her brain either by religion or parents. I have experience with dealing with this situation. It's all mental, of course.

It's up to her to progress out of this. If she wants to enjoy without regret, then practice makes perfect. Also, boyfriend needs to be MEGA-UNDERSTANDING about this. If she is not into it, though, it will never happen.

Bingo!! When I get involved with a girl like that I'm running in the opposite direction as fast as I can. I don't have enough time in my day to deal with a mental patient.

thumper69 · 10-10-2003, 09:58 PM

It could be she's in a religion or something.
coud be a religious belief.
There are so many religious beliefs out there and some of 'em our kinda whacky in my opinion. I don't like the part of a religion when they show discrimination against a group/sex/race/emotions. Maybe religion has gone far enough as to prohibiting you to orgasm.

What is this world coming to!!!?

bermuDa · 10-12-2003, 09:50 AM

she could've been molested as a child...

just a thought.

esotar · 10-12-2003, 10:37 AM

The boyfriend probably ought to try a different track altogether. Talk, talk, talk, and more talk. Then, perhaps he could start with the sexy talk, and if that goes well, he might suggest mutual masterbation.

arcane · 10-12-2003, 04:38 PM

i dated a girl like this once...she didnt want me to touch her "down there". so i respected that and didnt try to push the envelope. i found out later she got molested by her stepdad when she was younger

makes you wish you could have done something to prevent it *sigh*

PredeconInferno · 10-12-2003, 11:20 PM

Seems kinda strange, but I'm going to award this woman/story... hmm.... i'd say about a 2.5 on the "weird-o-meter"

/two cents

strcrssd · 10-13-2003, 09:14 PM

As a marginally trained psych major, this sounds very much like she has a belief that causes a guilt response with the antecedent being an orgasm with another person (anything approximating sex).

The first thing to do is talk about it, if she doesn't want this belief to change, no attempt should be made to change it.

If she does want it to change, then ideally one should go to a psychologist (sp?) and draw up a self-behavior modification plan, then implement it.

If you must be cheap about it, the get a psychology text on behavior modification, read it until you understand it, read it some more, and draft up a b-mod plan yourself, then read the text some more, and safety-check your plan. BE CAREFUL, this is a mind you are playing with.

I am not a doctor, and am not liable.

Jedbeck · 10-14-2003, 06:02 AM

I once was dating a girl that would get so into making out that she would beg for me to have sex with her while making out but then as we got closer to doing it (like naked in a missionary position) she would change her mind and say things like she was scared God would strike her down for having sex before marriage. Needless to say that relationship did not last too long.

10-10-2003, 11:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
aestivalis Upright Location: Philippines	3rd base play is ok -- but Orgasm makes her regret the session There's this girl I know who has 'partial' sex with her bf. They go as far as 3rd base, but nothing more. The girl doesn't really initiate foreplay, so the bf starts it always. Now the thing is, she's ok with making out and specially 2nd base.. but when 3rd base happens -- and she gets reaches orgasm... and they stop.... she goes weird and distant on the bf, and the guy feels that he did some disservice (although it was a service!)! Like he did something wrong, and she's regretting the whole session. Note though that the girl doesn't stop or avoid the sex... she just doesn't initiate it, or "appreciate" the orgasm. Can anyone 'explain' or say something enlightening about the whole thing?

10-10-2003, 11:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	.... maybe she's nuts because .... she's a girl Some people are just screwy if your involved with one maybe you shouldn't be. __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

10-10-2003, 12:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	Or maybe she's really a guy, that sounds like a guy thing to do right after orgasm. Sorry, couldnt resist that Maybe she feels guilty about her sexuality, some people do? Past issues, childhood bad experience etc. __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

10-10-2003, 12:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	This sounds like a social stigma that is implanted in her brain either by religion or parents. I have experience with dealing with this situation. It's all mental, of course. It's up to her to progress out of this. If she wants to enjoy without regret, then practice makes perfect. Also, boyfriend needs to be MEGA-UNDERSTANDING about this. If she is not into it, though, it will never happen. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

10-10-2003, 02:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	Guilt induced by whatever. I dated a girl for awhile back in college who was exactly the same way. She was HOT until the end, feeling me up, letting me feel her up and then BAM! The guilt started that she actually enjoyed (near) sex with someone not her husband. In this case, she was a strict Baptist and couldn't consolidate her feelings with her upbringing. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

10-10-2003, 12:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
prince_albert Banned Location: Bradford, UK	Yeah, he should talk to her, ask her if there is something she wants to talk about.

10-10-2003, 12:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	I totally agree with Halx about this. I dated this one girl who was basically a prude until one day we got in the hot tub and she blew me on the side of the tub and we had sex there. She was totally into it. A few weeks later she was staying over at my house for the first time, and we had sex in my bed. She told me she knew that was the only reason I invited her over. She was basically a psycho due to her strict religious upbringing. If she had enough redeeming qualities I would have stayed with her, but alas she didn't. I ended up marrying my next girlfriend who was a virgin until our wedding day and pretty much psycho about sex for a few months afterwards.

10-10-2003, 01:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
aestivalis Upright Location: Philippines	How about the Girls? anything to say? And yeah.. the girl is pretty much religious (though she's not the 'catholic' who goes giving blowjobs).. and closed/attached to her family; fear of pregnancy, etc BF kinda thinks that maybe when she finds sex more comfortable.. say when marriage comes along or something else to make her comfortable about sex... that'll be the only time

10-10-2003, 01:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	she's a freak

10-10-2003, 01:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	I've dated women like this and I've dumped them.

10-10-2003, 04:41 PM	#11 (permalink)
analog Banned	I took a virgin (STRICT) Mormon girl who would blush and tell you not to be crude if you used the WORD "sex" in a sentence, let alone talk about the topic itself and turned her into a total sexaholic nympho. It can happen. It takes time- it takes PATIENCE- it takes understanding (and in my case, actual love ). Go slow. TALK. Really. In your case, she most likely was taught at an early age that sex is bad, it's dirty, etc., more specifically that sex purely for pleasure and not for procreation (read: religious nuts) was wrong or bad or dirty or slutty, etc.

10-10-2003, 09:58 PM	#13 (permalink)
thumper69 Tilted Location: Texas	It could be she's in a religion or something. coud be a religious belief. There are so many religious beliefs out there and some of 'em our kinda whacky in my opinion. I don't like the part of a religion when they show discrimination against a group/sex/race/emotions. Maybe religion has gone far enough as to prohibiting you to orgasm. What is this world coming to!!!? __________________ Ohh Yeah Baby All Night Long! (' . ^) Look at Kirby---> <(' . '<)

10-12-2003, 09:50 AM	#14 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	she could've been molested as a child... just a thought. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

10-12-2003, 10:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
esotar Upright Location: triangle area, nc	The boyfriend probably ought to try a different track altogether. Talk, talk, talk, and more talk. Then, perhaps he could start with the sexy talk, and if that goes well, he might suggest mutual masterbation. __________________ "Without meditation, where is peace? Without peace, where is happiness?" -- the Bhagavad Gita

10-12-2003, 04:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
arcane Insane Location: SLC, UT	i dated a girl like this once...she didnt want me to touch her "down there". so i respected that and didnt try to push the envelope. i found out later she got molested by her stepdad when she was younger makes you wish you could have done something to prevent it sigh __________________ <Arcane> so if you banged 2000 chicks then at least one had a pen0r?

10-12-2003, 11:20 PM	#17 (permalink)
PredeconInferno Reclusiarch Location: Unfortunately Houston, TX	Seems kinda strange, but I'm going to award this woman/story... hmm.... i'd say about a 2.5 on the "weird-o-meter" /two cents __________________ Samurai in Training Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

10-13-2003, 09:14 PM	#18 (permalink)
strcrssd Insane Location: Rio Grande Valley, Texas	As a marginally trained psych major, this sounds very much like she has a belief that causes a guilt response with the antecedent being an orgasm with another person (anything approximating sex). The first thing to do is talk about it, if she doesn't want this belief to change, no attempt should be made to change it. If she does want it to change, then ideally one should go to a psychologist (sp?) and draw up a self-behavior modification plan, then implement it. If you must be cheap about it, the get a psychology text on behavior modification, read it until you understand it, read it some more, and draft up a b-mod plan yourself, then read the text some more, and safety-check your plan. BE CAREFUL, this is a mind you are playing with. I am not a doctor, and am not liable. __________________ "I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." -- John Cage (1912 - 1992)

10-14-2003, 06:02 AM	#19 (permalink)
Jedbeck Crazy Location: Ohio, USA	I once was dating a girl that would get so into making out that she would beg for me to have sex with her while making out but then as we got closer to doing it (like naked in a missionary position) she would change her mind and say things like she was scared God would strike her down for having sex before marriage. Needless to say that relationship did not last too long.