Astrocloud

Okay,

I think I am the only guy on the planet who will NOT have sex with a girl if she fucked one of my friends before me. You can quiz me on this but somehow it just seems fucked up -even if my friend is approving/doesn't care.

Why? Idunkno... I think it has something to do with pride and getting "my own" women. Perhaps if a relationship started it wouldn't feel right hangin with a guy who banged my gf... I'm not sure.

I know I'm missing out so I want to know if anyone else feels similarly...

Averett

I wouldn't want to have sex with somebody my friends have had sex with. It's just too weird!

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TinniT

welcome to testosterone.

Its for the same reason lions kill a female's young from another male.

its testosterone.


Enjoy it. Learn to accept it. then you can attempt to live in disregarding it.

darkallaround

wow. me and my buddies always try to see if we can all tag one in a certain time period (like all three of us in a 6 mo. period)

of course those are never the ones that are up for "long term" consideration.

and of course whoever hits it 3rd gets ragged on.

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MichaelFarker

It's certainly a way to protect your friendships from getting caught up in the ups and downs of casual dating. I can understand why you'd want to keep your friendships independant of your dating life.

tritium

Always heard "sloppy seconds" used in a more immediate, porn set context. I admit, I've never really paid any mind to whether a woman has gone out with one my friends. But I suppose, I'd figure that there's a reason she left him, and a good reason she's with me -- or something along those lines. Never really thought about it.

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Litespeed

as a girl who has dated guys who were best friends...

it's an odd thing. the first was my bf for a good 4 years, long-distance. when i finally got to be with him it was a let-down. we just weren't sexually compatable.

i hadn't thought a relationship with his best friend would be practical. how wrong i was.

Every now and again i tell Hal the comparisons that run through my mind. It always makes for an akward moment. I'm just happy that Hal didn't let a prior relationship stop him from pursuing me.

Astrocloud

Yea, yeah... I'm not using the term in it's correct sexual way but I am SARCASTIC.

But there is actually less thinking here and more feeling. Let me give you an example from my younger days.

Me and Chris were roommates. Some girl came over and he was trying to sleep -he had work the next day. He told her that he wasn't interested and that she should go "bug me".


I was sitting in the living room watching a porn movie (believe it or not). No, I was not wanking it. This chick comes out and sits on the couch near the back of the room. I didn't touch her. I wasn't interested and still wouldn't.

Eventually she got up and left shortly after I turned on my Sega genesis... (yes, it was that long ago).

So if I met this chick anywhere else I would have loved to bang her. Because my friend had her first I wasn't interested... Weird Huh?

Oh I love my testosterone. Believe me when I say I've got plenty of it. But I don't think testosterone is solely responsible for this behavior because -it's not universal i.e. not everyone else does this. I mean just read darkallaround's story above... I believe he has testosterone... why doesn't he act the same way?

SLIMM

we are all sloppy seconds(well all except the virgins out there)so what difference does it make if its a friend or a stranger????

Astrocloud

That's a good point. It shouldn't make a difference which is why this feeling isn't logical in any sense...

I've never fucked a virgin to my knowledge...

teflonian

Well... I have never really encountered a dating pool small enough where I really had to worry about this. But, I guess me and my friends all have pretty different tastes in women as well.

Sounds like you are speaking from a purely sexual standpoint astrocloud. I think things could potentially be different for a more serious relationship as with litespeed.

SLIMM

it is kinda weird being in the same room with more than one person that you have slept with though!
and it is weird being around a current lovers ex but like i said before,"seconds are seconds"!
be lucky you are 2nd,or 3rd or even if you are #100 its no big deal as long as you are happy now!

hell i dont know how many guys came before me with my girlfriend(dont think i care to know)but im happy to be the one she is with now! even if i know a few of her ex's,i can deal with it cause i am happy with her!

Harshaw

Hehehe my girlfriend dated my roommate before me. I didn't really mind except I hated his guts. The only problem was a few months in, I was ready to have sex, she was not and I couldn't see how she would fuck him and not me.

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Lunchbox7

There are so many issues there. Im pretty insecure so I would worry about comparrisons. Also the worst thing a friend can do to another friend is to go his ex who he had feelings for. I wouldn't do that to one of my friends. Also they split up for a reason. By going out with her you are putting yourself inbetween the two with their issues. Not a comfortable place to be. No matter how much I like the girl or no matter how hot she is I wouldnt do that. Its just way too many issues involved. I would be friends with the girl but no more

oblar

i have to agree with the having troubles with it. It just seems like a good way to be caught in a lot of drama.

I also have a weird thing where I try not to date people who have the same friends as me.. Mainly for the fact that when we break up, it isnt near as awkward, because we only see one another when we want to see them, and it isn't difficult keeping distance and such.

of course, that doesnt mean i would instantly rule out dating someone who we had mutual friends with...

it is just i have more of a chance of dating some random person rather than a close friend of one of my friends.. this post may not have made any sense.. oh well

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Sleepyjack

although this hasn't bben a problem between my friends yet, i imagine there'd be some discomfort about it and it seems to be an unspoken rule.

it depends on the nature of the relationship that was before hand though.

i'd probably feel a little weird about it though

Lebell

Hmmm,

Why is 'sloppy seconds' from a stranger ok but 'sloppy seconds' from your friends not?

And have you considered that you could be 'sloppy seconds' to her?

And no, I don't get it.

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arcane

that's why i feel bad for the last dood in those marathon gang bang videos. i mean, going second isnt so bad compared to like number 3000

kinda helps put things into perspective....nonetheless i still wouldnt dig on sloppy seconds or sloppy any number for that matter

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<Arcane> so if you banged 2000 chicks then at least one had a pen0r?

Sleepyjack

since you're going to be hangin around your friends more than strangers who have had sex with the same girl, there may be tension between them.
For me its more about the tension or any awkawrdness that may become amongst your friends, not that the girl is "used" in anyway by having sex with different people. sorry i couldn't think of a more tasteful way of putting it
even more so if a relationship forms, i think that'd be more awkward, although it all depends on the circumstances. Anyway thats just me and the way i feel in my group of friends.

SLIMM

ya,i know my girlfriend has had a few before me,i can deal with that cause they werent a few just a matter of seconds before me!lol

yournamehere

Mature adults have no problem handling the situation.

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Redlemon

I'd rather have sex with someone who knows what they are doing than have sex with a virgin. If she had had better before, perhaps she can teach me how to improve.

/married now, so this is only theoretical

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Astrocloud

Yeah, I wish there was a clear answer here. The problem is stated best by a PBS show called The Secret Life of the Brain


I can think this through as a "mature adult" and still not feel 'turned on' by some female who's been with my friends. Thinking that I'm not being a 'mature adult' does squat to control feelings. My solution is to just live with the feelings and pursue women outside my little circle.

cas305

In my younger days I have gotten in line with my buddies..... so I guess I would have to say that woundn't bother me.

skysooner

It would never bug me. It might make me not consider a long-term relationship with the girl if she were too "easy" about getting with both of us, but I see no reason that is should keep you from getting with someone that you could have a long-term relationship with.

The.Lunatic

... Girls flip out and get pissy over stuipd shit

... You in turn get to be possesive, and typically male. This includes a feeling of nothing accomplished / nothing conquerd for the sloppy seconds. Just don't bother, and give into it.

hey its a hellavua lot better than careing about emotions and stuff like girls do.

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analog

Whats funny is that there are several girls that all hang around my best friend and i and all of our other friends together, we all go to the same gatherings and parties... so sometimes we'll walk in and look around and say, "man, you've fucked 6 of the girls here tonight." lol...

thumper69

"sloppy seconds" eh?
well i know how it feels like to be with someone and still have a friend that banged her.

it's a fucked up world, we're all fucked up in some way or another, let us not expect our lives to be "normal".

fuck her (the girl you are with now) and then fuck some other girl while you're at it (when you're taking your cool off period) and things will be much better. It's a mental thing.

Have you noticed this is just a male thing?
I'm probably wrong, how krazy huh?
I guess it is all that C19H28O2 stuff.

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hparcins

Me and two of my friends fucked the same girl in high school, senior year. It was tite. She was a slut. I liked it.

anti fishstick

well i think it would just be weird and kinda creepy to go from a boyfriend to his best friend or something. i would generally want to keep away from him and his group of friends.

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Astrocloud

What about the reversed situation? Have you ever dated a friend's exboyfriend?

anti fishstick

oh did i get this sloppy seconds thing backwards? :x oops. i've never dated a friend's exboyfriend and i dont think i would due to respect and the people my friend's have dated wouldn't be my 'type' either (assuming i have some sort of type. heh. i just mean i probably wouldn't go for them)

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numberfive

Well I couldn't see myself going out with any of my friend's girlfriends, since they usually have the need to reveal most aspects of their sex life to me and I know too much about the girl.

On a side note, am I the only one thinking about sloppy joes?

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Konichiwaneko

Being in a room with more then one person you slept with is hella wacky. I had a party at my place, and I had exes of the person whom I slept with there. Seemingly some guys are okay, some guys aren't.

I have people who want me to die, and I have others who would buy me a beer and they both know I've been with their ex.

How do I feel...suprisingly none of my exes have slept around with people that close to me. The only wacky thing is hearing how one ex is pregnant with someone elses baby (guy I don't know)

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