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View Poll Results: Would you?
I'd date her/him and be serious about it. 64 56.14%
I'd "date" her/him, but just for kicks. 22 19.30%
Nuh uh. Not me. 28 24.56%
Voters: 114. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 11-01-2003, 02:50 PM   #41 (permalink)
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I am a bit biased on this, seeing that I am a single mother, and I would never want someone to base my merits as a mate on wether I had offspring or not. Fact of the matter is, with divorce so rampant these days, it's hard not to find someone with a child or two already.

Although, I do date and interact differently now that I do have a child, I would never pick some guy up at a bar and bring him home. I have a daughter to protect and a life to nurture, and that type of behavior isn't something I want her to see.

It takes a very special, mature, and well-adjusted person to persue a relationship with someone who has children, and to do it for the long run, not just a fling with a "milf". It's a hard thing for a man to have a life with another man's children, and you just have to understand that it's not for everyone.

My boyfreind is dealing with this, and I know it's hard for him, because he doesn't have any children and doesn't want to mess things up with me, but I told him from the start that I wasn't looking for a new father, she already has one, and he was in no way obligated to be her father, as long as he treats her well, as well as he would treat anyone else, things will work out if you really love someone. Plus it helps if your kid is one hell of a cutie!!
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Old 11-01-2003, 07:24 PM   #42 (permalink)
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i don't think i would at this point i my life...i'm too young to have kids, etc...mainly i don't have an income to support them since i'm a full time student.

Later in my life... Why not? I adore kids-i do child care part time now, and being a father is something that is a very important goal for me. I guess i would be wary to get too involved with the kids early on, in case things don't work out with their mom...there is no need to tease them with "maybe i'll be your dad" even if it is inadverent.

all in all, i would date someone with kids if i was at a point in my life where i was ready for kids.
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Old 11-01-2003, 11:09 PM   #43 (permalink)
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I'm 19. It would just be a bit weird for me. Maybe later in life.
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Old 11-02-2003, 02:28 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Okay I'm a hypocrite and I'd like to change my vote. When I was seeing my right hand... I voted "I'd 'date' her/him, but just for kicks". Now that I met someone with kids I would much rather vote another way.

I think its one of those questions that matters only when it's happening to you...
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Old 11-02-2003, 04:43 AM   #45 (permalink)
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As a general rule of thumb, no. Generally, I hate kids. I wouldn't want to put someone, or their children, in that position.

However...
I would make an exception for Paul Walker 'cause he's damn adorable.
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Old 11-02-2003, 11:55 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Meh...I think it depends. I wouldn't want to go out with your run-of-the-mill 19-year-old who just got dumped by her boyfriend because of the baby, but I think I'd be cool with a widow who has a child, ya know? Maybe I'm wierd like that,I don't know, but I'm seperating the two.
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Old 11-02-2003, 12:37 PM   #47 (permalink)
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If I weren't married I'd definately do it. I've got my own girl. A child would be a "distraction" but I think it would help to build the relationship on a different level. There would probably be less physical and more emotional/mental. While that would be harder to maintain it would be more sure of lasting if you made it to the alter with the person. I think dating someone with a kid would just give you more to talk about and do. You could take the kid places to have "family" fun. I think it would be awesome. Having kids around allows adults to listen more to their inner child.
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Old 11-02-2003, 12:43 PM   #48 (permalink)
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i wouldn't. at this point of my life, i don't want kids. and i wouldn't want to date someone who had kids because i'd just think of it as excess baggage. i'd want to date the person and be a part of their lives.. not the kids!
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Old 11-02-2003, 02:04 PM   #49 (permalink)
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jaja, my friend is dating a MILF. He's like 22 and she's 30 something. Its just ridicolous, I don't think its a good idea for either of them or the kid.
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Old 11-02-2003, 02:35 PM   #50 (permalink)
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It is okay to date women with children if you go in with your eyes open and realize that you have to take into account that her primary feeling's are for her children. If you can't get along with the children, the relationship won't go very far.
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Old 11-02-2003, 02:46 PM   #51 (permalink)
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At this point, I would date the cardboard cutout of a single parent.
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Old 11-02-2003, 02:58 PM   #52 (permalink)
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I'm currently in a serious relationship (2 years so far, and im 24) I feel that I am too young to start a family (I know I'm really not that young to some though)

I'd really rather focus on getting through college (start next year) and getting a decent wage (minimum wage in idaho sucks it. 5.15?!)

We're pretty much married at this point but not official or anything

but yeah, if I were to find myself back on the market, I dont think i would, yet, I'd probably just have some fun while I could, and then when I was ready to be serious again, it wouldnt matter if they had a kid or not. I would do my best to make her and the child happy.

thats just my take on it. but as it is. I dont have any plans for children (and neither does she) but both of us are curious what kinda kid we would have regardless.
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Old 11-03-2003, 12:31 PM   #53 (permalink)
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i dont want to sound shallow for saying no, its not that i would not, its that im 18 and not ready to have kids, so if there are pre-existing kids that would not work. also if they are like 14-15 they are almost as old as me and that would be weird
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Old 11-03-2003, 02:12 PM   #54 (permalink)
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I totally agree with Minx on this one!!! I also am a single mom and am really shocked at tfp ! I am used to being veiwed in a demeaning way but not when most of what it is about is bullshit and stereotypical!!
I would NEver ask a guy I was seeing to take the place of my children's father/ daddy!! I think it is absurd to even think that about single parents! I would however make it abundantly clear that my children come first before even god!! I would also tell my bf or whatver that they don't have to like my children, play with my children etc, but they do have to tolerate, be nice and respectful to them!!
I am in a new relationship and my bf knows this he also knows that I refuse to pawn my children off on anyone just so I can be with a boy ( because that is what he is if he ever asked me to do so!
Although I believe everyone has a right to that opinion I do think part of the problem is that soem single parents are not honest with their prospective date/gf/whatever!! I am totally upfront with soemone before they ever coem tro my home to pick me up that I have kids9 I am a proud mother) if they have a problem with that they need to be upfront with me about it!! If they only want to date me for "kicks" FUCK THEM!!
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Old 11-03-2003, 09:22 PM   #55 (permalink)
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I married and had kids fairly young,I also divorced fairly young.I spent most of my time alone rearing my kids,the dating I did do was kept pretty far away from home.Divorced moms with kids were looked upon as "damaged goods" by a lot of men and I had no desire to subject myself or my kids to that kind of thing.The divorce had been bad enough,they didn't deserve more misery

Fast forward,my kids are grown and gone,suddenly I get hit on by more than a few guys who married and had kids late,well they're now divorced doing the co-parenting thing and having trouble coping with being 40 something dealing with their pre-school or young elementary school age children and hoping to hook up with a g/friend who will cook,clean and pitch in for child care duties and who might provide some help with their often hefty child support payments.

Well,guess what? My patience for young kids is gone pretty much,I enjoy the freedom to sleep late,travel,work varying hours
and just do my own thing.I prefer men who are childless or who's children are grown.

"To everything there is a season" and my season for dealing with young children on a regular basis is over

Last edited by uptown; 11-03-2003 at 09:37 PM..
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Old 11-04-2003, 07:27 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Good luck at finding Virgin Mary! As you get older in life you will find their aren't very many people with whom the possibilties are they don't have a prior life and they don't have children whether or not those children may live with them or not. What terms are we speaking of as far as "single parenting goes"? Both parents whether involved or not involved are still parents if a split up should occour. Personally myself, I don't have a problem with someone having children. It just gives me a little bit more of that one person that attracts my heart and more for me to embrace with loving arms into my life.
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Old 11-04-2003, 01:04 PM   #57 (permalink)
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I did. I didn't really think of it at the time but it didn't bother me much. I met her kid only once in the 2 month period. She kept the time lives pretty seperate.
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Old 11-05-2003, 12:01 PM   #58 (permalink)
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guys should definately date single mothers but they shouldn't steal the puuty
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