B21

OK guys i need your help, u see i have a girlfriend and we've alrealy started to have sex and well since we been doin alot of different things in the bedroom i was think maybe we should try anal. What i need to know is how can i bring the idea up to her and if i do should i just ease her into it or just surprise her?

GoldenOuroboros

Just ask her.. cause if you suprise her in a suprise type of way (that you just do it) then it could have one of two reactions.. she could really like it.. or turn around, slap you and never talk to you again.. prolly the latter lol

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slimshaydee

just ask her how she feels about it, and if she doesnt like the idea dont bring it up for awhile. In say 2 months time bring it up again and she might be more willing to try it, if not let her be. Best thing to do is talk to her though

Averett

If you suprise her, you'll most likely get a punch to the head. Im just sayin...

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Plan9Senior

Don't suprise her... how would you feel if you were pounding away and while you were totally unaware she reaches under the matress, pulls out a big ol' industrial dildo and crams it into your unsuspecting sphincter?

Kulsonv2

me and my girlfriend haven't had anal, but i'll tell you how we got to the subject in the first place... one night we were fooling around and i was fingering her, she was getting very wet and it was flowing down to her asshole. at this point she was really getting into it so I could fit all my fingers in minus the thumb and pinky(i have small hands anyways). so then I stretched out my pinky(with the rest of the fingers in her pussy) so it was just rubbing up against her anus and just going in a little with the tip... it would only go in when she moved her body back and forth, so I myself wasn't doing it, but she was instead. so during this she says that she thought I was against anal stuff, I said I wasn't against it, so she wanted me to put my finger in and try it. well, we learned that day that she doesn't really like it. kinda of off topic, but we had a lot of fun tonight with lube and my fingers ended up her butt a few times. so, you could find out how she feels about it with some shameless "accidental" anal play, but if you want to ensure that she gets into it, buy some lube and have it handy.. I mean, you really wouldn't believe the difference that lube makes. and for those that say spit is just fine, no, no it's not, it's nothing compared to strawberry flavored astroglide.

motdakasha

Two Words:

THE SHOCKER

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B21

Well i know that if i do i should use some type of lube like baby oil or something but the truth is im not so sure if i should do it i mean i want to do it but i have no idea what will happen if i go in the back door like if she farts or even worse when i pull out i see corn at the tip of my dick( sorry if that was sick but i heard that can happen).

im2smrt4u

Use a condom if you are worried.

BTW, Astroglide works very well.

rodgerd

It's generally kind of hard to surprise someone with anal. Not to say you can't, I suppose, but if you try you could end up with a painful experience for her. Not going to encourage her to try it again. She may even decide she doesn't trust you in bed.

You sound like you're mostly nervous about asking. This is understandable. But there's a good reason to just ask.

I'm going to make a sweeping characterisation here: people are generally either of a mindset where they're open to different kinds of sex, or not. The former are either happy to try stuff, or already have. You ask, and they'll say yes or no based on what they've tried and whether they like it. These are good people. Hang on to her if she turns out to be one of them.

Then there's people who aren't. They've got preconcieved notions about sex, not usually borne of experience, which are based around all sorts of socialisation issues. If she's on of these, yes, she may think you're disgusting or wierd for even asking. She may be judgemental. But you know what? It's good to find that sort of thing out. You can decide whether you want a relationship with someone who's got issues about their sexuality.

SiN

my only advise for you at this time -

talk to her!

and then report back to us what she said, how she feels, what her concerns are.

*that* should be your primary focus if you want this to work properly.

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motdakasha

1. Avoid all oil-based lubes, unless you're doing it unprotected which is ill-advised.
2. If you're not mature enough to handle farts or corn, wait until you grow up first.

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Kulsonv2

if you're still afraid to ask, how about you guys take a shower together and you're the one that washes her backside. if she has a good reaction to it, then you won't be afraid to ask...otherwise, well, you'll have to ask either way, but with a good reaction it'll be easier? i dunno, i'm out of advice.

rogue49

Why don't you try a bit of light finger stimulation
during regular sex.

This might enhance the enjoyment she is currently having,
and also get her used to the sensation of that area.

Going straight into anal sex is perhaps too much of a leap.
Women are not like the pornstars you see.
Let is build over the course of your lovemaking.
And of course, talk to her about it.

Good luck, and enjoy.

B21

Farts arent what bother me its the CORN.

Anyways i asked her,and she told me if i wanted to do that i have to let her stick 3 fingers up MY butt. At first i thought she was playin but she made if very clear that she was serious. Now im not gay so im not so happy her decision, so i need to know is the pain is wroth getting anal? If not can u think of anything else i can offer instead of getting 3 fingers in the butt.

tenchi069

It isn't painful if you go slow, for either of you. Also, since when does a FEMALE doing anything at all to MALE make him gay? . My advice if you want to experience the most, don't worry about labeling yourself and have fun with your woman.

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Blue

Viking1064

If you are that freaked out by the "corn", then I don't think you should be trying anal. If she feels you are repulsed by any part of her, that is not a good thing. IF you still want to try, wear a condom. That way nothing touched your dick.

Blue

just fyi - start with 1 finger, then graduate to two, three, etc

B21

I wasnt sayin that a girl stickin a finger up my butt makes me gay, i was sayin that i wouldnt want 3 fingers up my butt cause im not gay. Anyways i think if i do it i shouldnt use a condom, i mean have you seen the size of that hole its small really small. I think if i go in there it will hurt me more then her and adding a condom to that will hurt even more. Dang i sound more nervous then her.

dannoxxxx

"SURPRISE HER"....you would surprise her alright.....and probably bruise her ass for a good week. NEvermind the jerking manuever she might pull as a reflex...trying to get away from the pain...this could be bad for you if you are already slightly inside her at the time.
The ass needs to be warmed up.ESPECIALLY the first time.

Jonsgirl

Ok, a few questions:
Why does the "corn" freak you out so much? I can uderstand that it's dirty, but you're acting like it's the plauge.
Why would one finger not be gay, but three fingers would? I'm thinking "gay" would be if you enjoyed a male doing this to you, but it's your girlfriend. note: GIRL-friend
And why would you want to to that to her, but be totaly against her doing it to you? That seems really unfair and a bit childish. You might as well know what it feels like to her. Or maybe you're not in it for her pleasure at all?
And why would a condom make it hurt worse?

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SkanK0r

I'm starting to (starting?) to think maybe he's not that serious about it if he hasn't already considered his reaction to things as silly as "corn." You're going to have to be adult about it if you're going to try something like that.

Rlyss

First of all, wear a condom. It'll make it hurt less for the both of you, you won't get worried about getting any infections up your urethra, you won't have shit on your penis. Everybody wins there.

Second, having your girlfriend stick her fingers up your ass doesn't make you gay any more than you masturbating does. You think only gay men like having stuff in their ass? Every time you masturbate you're tugging a penis. Think about that for a moment! Having anything in the ass is no more natural or unnatural for a woman than it is for a man, so there are no double standards here. Her anus isn't any more capable or built to let anything in any more than yours is!

And finally, you said "I think if i go in there it will hurt me more then her". This is all the more reason to go slowly and make it an enjoyable experience for the both of you. If it's too tight for your little guy then it's just as painful for her. And you asked if the pain was worth getting anal, you've gotta think about her pain here too!

I say let her do what she wants with your ass. Who knows, you might enjoy it. Let her do what she wants and when she's had her fun she'll be more likely to let you do the same. Good luck!

lemming

look...wear a condom..use alota lube and just stick it in there..its the only why your gonna know if ya like it or not...if she doesnt like it she will damn well let ya know..then ya can just play it off as oh ok sorry i wont go there again, dont over think it just have fun and youll figure it out=)

analog

in all seriousness, are you like 15?
1. Look, DO use a condom. DON'T use baby oil or anything else with oil, because it will degrade the condom- most good lubes will say it's safe for use with a condom (astroglide, K-Y).

2. The vagina starts out small too, but it expands to accomodate, use some common sense.

3. If you're worried about "corn", grow up a bit and try again later- in fact, why are you even having sex??

4. If you "surprise" her, not only can you physically HURT her, but you can do VERY VERY BAD damage to her. AND it makes YOU an asshole, and you deserve to get your ass kicked for it.

motdakasha

That implies that only gay people enjoy anal stimulation. Which is what you're denying you just said and reworded it so you said the same thing again. Stimulating a guy's anus doesn't make him gay. Not just gay men enjoy this.

I would like to reiterate something from my first post, "Grow up."

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SiN

ugh.

amen.

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B21

GUYS i dont want anybody sticking anything up my butt be it from my girlfriend, a dude, or a dog, or whatever i just dont want it not just from the fact i think its gay but also from the fact that it would hurt like shit. I know some of yall gona say thats not fair but i tryin to do this for the both of us not just me. The only reason i brought it up was to bring some thing interesting in bed, something we both would enjoy not just me. Now that im done say that i have 2 more questions.

1. How many straight guys you know in this forum that enjoy anal stimulation.

2. Do think the shocker would be a good way to start with this anal thing.

dr_clocker

Ive thought about it too, but why would I ask my gf, to do something I would never in my right mind do.

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motdakasha

Wrong, it's not gay. Wrong, it doesn't hurt like shit if done properly.

1. http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=25071
"I like it. And yes it enhances the sensation."
"Heh, having my wife play with my prostate is a good thing, especially when combined with a blowjob or handjob. Hobo is right though, make sure you're clean beforehand so that your SO doesn't encounter any 'suprises'. "
"this is good to do to the anus! "

I'm sure there are many more men on here who enjoy it that just haven't seen/read the thread.

2. That was mostly a joke, but it's one way to find out if she likes anal play. Obviously you don't just shove your fingers in like it ain't no thang. If you do, go slow.

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im2smrt4u

Also see the Anal sex on men thread.

tenchi069

1. I'm a guy. I'm straight or whatever you want to call guy that only has sexual attraction/tendancies toward women. That said, I enjoy everything my fiance does to/with me which include anal play on both our parts. I'm not saying everyone will like it nor am I saying everyone will hate it. Different people like different things.

2. The shocker is NOT the way to introduce anal play.


3. What started my fiance liking it was slight touching OUTSIDE the butt while 69. Suggestion to you, test the waters. If you go reaching back there and she screams at you or pulls away, then stop and don't try again, but if she likes the touching try one then two fingers and go from there. If she won't let you enter her with fingers without her first entering you, then you have 2 choices, let her, or give up trying with her.

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B21

Are u tellin that u had 3 fingers or more in ur ass and it didnt hurt?

Thanx guys for the advice

B21

oo

motdakasha

Is it just me or are you really not comprehending? You don't just shove 3 fingers up someone's ass. You start off with the shocker, which is two fingers in the vagina and one finger (the pinky) around the anus. Fingering her while introducing her to anal play is going to be a lot more pleasant than just randomly trying to finger her ass or shoving your cock in it. Start SLOW and start SMALL.

If I shoved a Rambone up your ass, of course it's going to hurt like hell.

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boden11

start small, when going down on her be very generous and get her pretty worked up, then when she's really nice and wet let ur tongue wander around while keeping stimulation on her clit with the tip of ur finger. i've never had a girl complain about getting a rimjob. keep this up for a little while (be sure to change things up of course so she doesn't always expect it and whatnot). then after some time let ur fingers creep more and more until ur just barely sticking the tip in, etc etc.

watch how she reacts to all of this because depending on how much she likes it u might be able to get more daring if she's really digging on it. tho even if she likes the finger, she may not want something 3x as big up her butt

B21

I was asking if u had 3 fingers up your ass.

Nhanced1

Look dude, if you want this to happen, your girlfriend gets to stick three of her fingers up your ass. If thats what she said, thats all there is to it. Just make sure to tell her to use plenty of lube, and to go SLOW, Like, not all three at once and not jabbing them in.

If she understands that you know you have to go slow, gently, and with lots of lube in any anal encounter, then she will be more likely to feel good about you having anal sex with her.

Common sense dude. Common Sense.

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B21

Of course its common sense, but i really dont want 3 fingers up my ass.