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Old 04-10-2011, 06:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Women who masturbate

Does your husband/boyfriend know you masturbate? Is there a reason to keep it a secret? Is there a good way to let him know?
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Is this topic meant to be restricted to women? If so, there's a forum for that.

You also might find responses are better if you give more context. Why do you ask? What has your experience been?

As a man, I don't particularly care if she masturbates. In fact I'm happier knowing she does. I'm not sure I'd want to be in a relationship with the sort of woman who doesn't.
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'd like responses from men or women. I don't understand why some women are afraid to let their partner know that they masturbate. Guys aren't very shy about sharing it. Why shouldn't women be as free to admit it and enjoy it?
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Who says women are not as free to admit and enjoy masturbation? It's a natural thing. Everyone dose it. It isn't a big deal. wyopen, I'm sorry however I think you're over thinking this whole thing.
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Old 04-10-2011, 08:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Magpie_1 View Post
Who says women are not as free to admit and enjoy masturbation? It's a natural thing. Everyone dose it.
an ex of mine who was super catholic didn't masturbate at all. i tried to turn her on to it but she was either too late to know how or thought it was gross or something, i have no clue but she just didn't do it. puzzled the pants off me though.
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Old 04-10-2011, 08:57 PM   #6 (permalink)
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an ex of mine who was super catholic didn't masturbate at all. i tried to turn her on to it but she was either too late to know how or thought it was gross or something, i have no clue but she just didn't do it. puzzled the pants off me though.
So instead of her masturbating for her sexual pleasure did she puzzle your pants off till your puzzler was sore?
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Old 04-11-2011, 04:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Magpie_1 View Post
Who says women are not as free to admit and enjoy masturbation? It's a natural thing. Everyone dose it. It isn't a big deal. wyopen, I'm sorry however I think you're over thinking this whole thing.
So that's both sides of our relationship coin.

Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life. And just like sex, some people want/need it more often than others. Sometimes actual intercourse just isn't convenient -- your partner isn't around, or isn't in the mood. And sometimes it's a bit selfish. Sometimes you just want to get off, without worrying about someone else. And that's okay too.

Do what makes you happy. Are there many/any guys who would be opposed to their girlfriends or wives masturbating? If there are I doubt you'll find them here.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:33 AM   #8 (permalink)
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To people who haven't bothered with cultivating a sense of sexual enlightenment (and I'm certain those people exist, prob. in pretty high numbers) I would imagine the stigma is rooted in the same old notions that designate a woman's sexual aggression and/or the desire to satisfy her own sexual needs as being bad, dirty, slutty, abnormal, etc. And I would guess that the stigma is perpetuated as much by the personal embarrassment of the woman who is found out to be 'a masturbator' as it is condemnation from her lover. We have come a long way in enabling female sexual freedom, but it is far from the prevailing national attitude, if you ask me. TFP isn't really representative.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:29 AM   #9 (permalink)
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To be honest, I'd be pretty surprised if any girl I was ever with was doing this like that.

It might sound arrogant, but I dont mean it in that sense... not like I'm anything special in bed.

I just mean if there were things that she wasnt getting enough of, you'd hope she'd just let you have more sex than have to do it herself. If a woman is with a man who cant satisfy her, then perhaps it would happen, but I wouldnt classify myself in that way.

To be honest I think most women dont masturbate at all. If so, probably only rarely, like once every year or so. You see these things in dirty films and the internet, but it isnt the same in real life.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:36 AM   #10 (permalink)
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heh heh heh.

Here's a little bit of advice for you, it applies to a lot of things, not just masturbation.
It's not about you.
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Old 04-11-2011, 02:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Why wouldn't a woman want to share with her partner that she masturbates? As previously mentioned, it's natural, and it's pleasurable.
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Old 04-11-2011, 02:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Strange Famous View Post
To be honest I think most women dont masturbate at all. If so, probably only rarely, like once every year or so.
To be honest, I think you're wrong. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that a majority of women do indeed masturbate at least once a year, and a good chunk of them at least monthly.
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Old 04-11-2011, 05:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Crap, I'm married to a totally sexy guy and can have sex almost any time I want to, but sometimes it isn't sex I'm in the mood for. Sometimes I just want to get off.

And yes, he knows. Sometimes we do it together.
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Old 04-11-2011, 08:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by wyopen View Post
Why wouldn't a woman want to share with her partner that she masturbates? As previously mentioned, it's natural, and it's pleasurable.

I used to date a guy that wanted to be totally in charge of my orgasms, and asked me to stop masturbating completely. I did stop....telling him, that is. It was just another way for him to have control over me, and I played along for a little while.

The current fella' knows I do. We don't DISCUSS it every time, but I definitely don't hide it, and he definitely isn't threatened or put off by it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous View Post
I just mean if there were things that she wasnt getting enough of, you'd hope she'd just let you have more sex than have to do it herself.
With one exception, I've had a higher sex drive than any man I've been with. Even NOT taking that into consideration, sometimes it's just about getting off quickly and not worrying about anything (or anyone) else.
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Old 04-13-2011, 02:20 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I seem to recall a thread called "Spontaneous Masturbation." If I recall it well enough, it's worth the time to read it. & while I hesitate to disagree w/mm, masturbation IS about you, & nobody else's business, not even your intimate's. If you want it to be, don't be shy. If it's a problem, it's theirs.
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Old 04-13-2011, 03:18 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I was referring to SF. As in: Whether his girlfriend masturbates or not is not about him.
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Old 04-13-2011, 11:02 PM   #17 (permalink)
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A partner once suggested instead of shopping, I masturbate.

Good way save moola in this economy!
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Old 04-14-2011, 10:16 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by mixedmedia View Post
I was referring to SF. As in: Whether his girlfriend masturbates or not is not about him.
Ah. Then I guess I wasn't disagreeing. What a relief!
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Old 04-14-2011, 01:19 PM   #19 (permalink)
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It's a private matter, but he knows we just never talk about it. I have my stash of vibrators.
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Old 04-14-2011, 01:20 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I like it if my GF masturbates. It's hot. Plus, if she has a healthy libido, I have to be honest with myself in that she'll be more horny than I (statistically). The way to tell your guy that you masturbate? Just start, right in front of him. Trust me, he won't mind
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Old 04-14-2011, 01:28 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I'm fully aware that my fiance masterbates. She has a bag of toys beside the bed for when she's in the mood. As far as I'm concerned it has nothing to do with me, just like my masterbation has nothing to do with her.
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Old 04-14-2011, 06:12 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Magpie_1 View Post
Who says women are not as free to admit and enjoy masturbation? It's a natural thing. Everyone dose it. It isn't a big deal. wyopen, I'm sorry however I think you're over thinking this whole thing.
Not from the US, are you? What happens down there is between you, your husband, and Jesus, and you'd best be begging the latter for forgiveness if the former isn't around.
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It's a private matter, but he knows we just never talk about it. I have my stash of vibrators.
Tell him and suggest that he use the vibrators on you.
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Old 04-14-2011, 09:35 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I'd be worried if my GF didn't masturbate at all. It would be as if something was wrong with her, that she's missing part of her humanity.
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Old 04-15-2011, 04:38 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Strange Famous View Post
To be honest, I'd be pretty surprised if any girl I was ever with was doing this like that.

It might sound arrogant, but I dont mean it in that sense... not like I'm anything special in bed.

I just mean if there were things that she wasnt getting enough of, you'd hope she'd just let you have more sex than have to do it herself. If a woman is with a man who cant satisfy her, then perhaps it would happen, but I wouldnt classify myself in that way.

To be honest I think most women dont masturbate at all. If so, probably only rarely, like once every year or so. You see these things in dirty films and the internet, but it isnt the same in real life.
You are joking, right?

Good relationships are about openness and the ability to share and explore in the bedroom. This type of belief about masturbation would sets limits and frankly, is kinda scary.

While I can understand not masturbating with a one-night stand, rating your prowess in the bedroom based on whether a woman would masturbate must be messing with your self-esteem. Maybe this is why they don't discuss it with you?

Let go. Most women do and will eventually appreciate a guy who doesn't take it personally or make them feel shy about it. It'll only enhance what goes on between the two of you.
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Old 04-15-2011, 05:49 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Mmm, I'm going to have to start on a thread on men that masturbate and the women that don't understand it.
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Old 04-15-2011, 11:39 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Strange Famous View Post
To be honest, I'd be pretty surprised if any girl I was ever with was doing this like that.

It might sound arrogant, but I dont mean it in that sense... not like I'm anything special in bed.

I just mean if there were things that she wasnt getting enough of, you'd hope she'd just let you have more sex than have to do it herself. If a woman is with a man who cant satisfy her, then perhaps it would happen, but I wouldnt classify myself in that way.

To be honest I think most women dont masturbate at all. If so, probably only rarely, like once every year or so. You see these things in dirty films and the internet, but it isnt the same in real life.

SF, a lot of women masturbate, perhaps even your GF.

I have no issues with my wife masturbating, especially when she does so in front of me, or tells about it later to get my 'attention.'
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Old 04-15-2011, 11:44 AM   #27 (permalink)
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95% of people masturbate, the other 5% lie about.
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Old 04-15-2011, 05:15 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Hell my wife liked me to do it while she watched and visa-versa. She did get a little upset when I started doing it on the pool deck when the neighbors were out however....
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Old 04-16-2011, 04:53 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Look, to be clear I'm not claiming I'm some kind of super stud.

I'm just saying, if I was with a girl I'd like the chance to satisfy all her needs before he has to worry about DIY. If I wasnt up to the job, fair enough I'd have to accept it, but you know... I dont want to be dirty or start with any kind of pervert talk, but I have hands and arms... if she has needs that need to be taken care of, I dont see why you wouldnt want your partner to be involved in that. Unless sometimes she wants to imagine she's having it off with the milkman and having me in the picture spoils the fantasy??

Anyway, no girl I have ever been with has ever told me she has to pleasure herself. Maybe, as suggested above, its because she secretly did it but didnt want to hurt my feelings.
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Old 04-16-2011, 06:24 AM   #30 (permalink)
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SF is not that she *has* to pleasure herself, its if she *wants* to pleasure herself
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Old 04-16-2011, 02:46 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Old 04-17-2011, 01:33 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Sorry to hijack the thread, but I was tickled by the juxtaposition of these two threads...
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Old 04-18-2011, 11:23 AM   #33 (permalink)
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I'd be worried if my GF didn't masturbate at all. It would be as if something was wrong with her, that she's missing part of her humanity.
I don't masturbate. Is there something wrong with me?
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Old 04-24-2011, 06:06 AM   #34 (permalink)
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my boyfriend and i talk about it a lot - usually when having sex. He likes me to talk dirty to him, by describing in detail how it feels for me to masturbate, to approach orgasm, and to orgasm on my own. For some reason this turns him (and me, i admit) on incredibly. I sometimes let him see the live show, but i usually want it to be a personal thing that i keep for myself. As for how often? I may have an overly large libido but i masturbate as often as once or twice a week.
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Old 04-24-2011, 08:36 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by summergirl111 View Post
my boyfriend and i talk about it a lot - usually when having sex. He likes me to talk dirty to him, by describing in detail how it feels for me to masturbate, to approach orgasm, and to orgasm on my own. For some reason this turns him (and me, i admit) on incredibly. I sometimes let him see the live show, but i usually want it to be a personal thing that i keep for myself. As for how often? I may have an overly large libido but i masturbate as often as once or twice a week.
Should I assume you're having sex daily or something because "overly large libido" suggests masturbating on par with my frequency, once a day minimum and sometimes more.
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Old 04-27-2011, 12:47 PM   #36 (permalink)
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I have a friend whose wife is okay with him masturbating, but says she never masturbates. He has tried for years to get her to try, with little success. She says it just doesn't work for her alone. However, he has been awakened several times in the middle of the night by what he thinks is her getting off or at least heavily into trying. Unfortunately, once he stops snoring, she knows he's awake and she stops.

Masturbation is sooo sexy. Why not admit it and enjoy it!?
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:17 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Old 05-07-2011, 06:14 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by wyopen View Post
Masturbation is sooo sexy. Why not admit it and enjoy it!?
that is the best quote i ahve ever heard.
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Old 05-09-2011, 07:49 AM   #39 (permalink)
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hello,

I once read from a research that around 70 percent of the married women never get an orgasm while being penetrated by their husband. The researchers also wrote that all these women use masturbation to get an orgasm. Many men do not find it good if their girlfriend uses vibrators or dildo's for masturbation, because it hurts their masculine feelings.

Sometimes I am jealous on females, because they can easily get a multiple orgasm and have more orgasm. For men it is a one time shooting game each day, or sometimes one time a week.

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Old 05-09-2011, 05:51 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Many men do not find it good if their girlfriend uses vibrators or dildo's for masturbation, because it hurts their masculine feelings.
If I ever hurt a guy's "masculine feelings" by masturbating, I'd hate to think how much I'd make him cry the rest of the time.
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