LunaInFurs

This is the situation...I met my current boyfriend / my daughters father a little over a year ago and instantly fell in love with him. I thought this was going to be the one person that im going to be happy with. And for a few weeks I was happy.. , A couple of months into the relationship I find out that in the very beginning he cheated on me with his x. I was looking for some texts that I sent him and accidentally came across a text from his x that went something like " Im gonna suck your d**ck ..blah blah "... and messages from him to her (xcuse my language) " My balls are hurting from last night "... I also found out that he had some naked pics of her on his cell. I dont know about you , but if you are in relationship , you re not supposed to have your x's xxx RATED pics..PERIOD.....When I asked him if he cheated on me with her , he denied it , saying that they only hung out ..thats it. When I brought up the texts , he became very emotional ,admitted fucking her and promised me that would never happen again. His explanation was that it happened at the very beginning of the relationship and he was not in love with me , like he is now. So like an idiot I believed him... A couple of months go by and guess what ... I find out that he is still talking to her . His excuse ? - " I didnt think that me talking to her was going to hurt you... EXCUSE ME ? You tell me that you going to go into your friends house for an hour or so to take care of something , (he lied about that .. , he was meeting his x there ) leave me sitting outside waiting while he was fucking your x inside ...and he thought that him talking or seeing her wasnt going to hurt me ??? It killed me .. I havent cut myself in years .. I did it again when I found out. I could not handle the emotional pain and could not deal with such blatant BETRAYAL..The thing that scared me more than anything else was that his x ( from his own words is a nasty skank , with god knows what diseases...herpes for a fact) and he does not use condoms. (i know that for a fact ..from him actually)
I told myself that i am overreacting..may be they did just talk. (its amazing what lies we believe when we want to ) ..whatever...moving on...
A month or two later we got into a huge fight , almost broke up for a couple of days and guess what ..He ends up hanging out with her again. his excuse ? " i was upset and needed someone to talk to " .... Right at that same time I also found out I was pregnant. Once again..we go through this all over again..." i dont know why I talk to her , I Am an idiot , I love you -she means nothing to me " that kind of crap ...
We were both homeless , strung out at the time so again i ignored it , even though it was killing me on the inside.
Fast forward to a few months ago ....Things are going sorta ok when by accident (he was sitting right next to me ) I see a message from him to her on face book - "you look sexy girl "... Again , according to him he was just paying her a compliment.. And I am thinking to myself ..You disgusting piece of shit ..I AM 7 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD AND YOU CANT DO A DECENT THING AND BE FAITHFUL ???? YOU CANT BE A MAN ENOUGH AND ADMIT THAT YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME AND FUCK HER AT THE SAME TIME ???? when we first me , and we were just friends he told me that he still has feelings for her and when they hang out they are all over each other and they just get high and fuck. How the hell is that supposed to make me feel ??? Now he swears up and down that he loves me , he wants nothing to do with her , she is a disgusting skank , but guess what .. I CANT TRUST HIM ! Every time he disappears and i dont know where he is , i am thinking that he is spending time with her . Ive had a complicated pregnancy and could not have sex towards the end, so I really think he was screwing her . Which he denies. So now , a few days ago , I look through his phone ( not accidentally ) , and I see her number ..Of course I flip the fuck out ... His excuse ? " she just called me out of the blue and i picked up. whats wrong with that ? " she thinks she is pregnant , so she wanted advice" " if you did not accuse me of cheating all the time , I wouldnt have picked up the phone ". He says i never gave this relationship a chance cu i never got over him cheating on me . Guys , I did ..I really did ..If he cheated on me and thats it , it would have been over and forgotten about a long time ago..because it did happen at the very beginning. But he kept on lying to me , talking to her , meeting up with her ..And thats just what I know of ..I am sure there is more that I just dont know about. I dont know what to do .. ...I stopped talking to the father of my 2 boys because he was so jealous of him. ( my boys are not with me btw. they are with their paternal aunt) ...He has a problem when I talk to my x husband.
Guys , this is killing me . Deep inside , i know I am wasting my time and he will never leave this girl alone. I care for him , I still love him , but I cant go on like this. we have a beautiful 1 month old daughter..I wish I was strong enough to just leave him. I am crying as i am writing this because i ont know what to do ...
I dont even know how to describe what Ive been through with this man. We ve been through so much together. . And he did this to me ...This is tearing me up.. I cant think with my heart anymore ..it has gotten me nowhere ...got me nothing except for more pain and tears ...Any suggestions, advice...
I am sorry for rambling guys , just need some advice or just for you to read this and tell me what you think

Cynthetiq

move on.

really... move on.

no, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and move on.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

amonkie

You already know what you think, and that is really all that matters.


All the rest is just noise. After all this, you are still dating the guy? What is it you actually love about him? Because from what you've said so far he has no redeeming qualities other than being the father of your baby.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

DaveOrion

Move on & collect child support.

All men are dogs (I know cuz I am one) & are genetically programmed to spread their seed far & wide. Fall in love, fall outta love............& so the story goes.

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

GreyWolf

Learn to like yourself. Your self-esteem must be incredibly low to take this kind of shit from a man. I know it's hard to understand that where we see you now didn't happen overnight, it built up over time, but this man is poison. You need to take care of yourself and your daughter, and that won't happen while you're with him.

You must convince yourself you deserve better, really mean it, and get on with your life without this jerk. Think of what's best for your daughter... do you want HER growing up with this disgusting example of a half-man showing her what to expect from men? Of course not.

Do it for her, if not yourself. You owe to her.

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The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.

mixedmedia

Once you leave him, you will realize that you are strong enough.

Bad relationships are like poison (like GW said). Once you get away and they start to leave your system, you realize that they were the source of your feeling of weakness. Your vulnerability. It's not until you get away and start to breathe fresh air again that you realize how toxic the environment was.

That's not to say that you won't feel sad and traumatized for a while. But realizing that you can indeed leave without vaporizing into nothingness is a very empowering thing once it hits you.

Leave him.

Good luck.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce