This is the situation...I met my current boyfriend / my daughters father a little over a year ago and instantly fell in love with him. I thought this was going to be the one person that im going to be happy with. And for a few weeks I was happy.. , A couple of months into the relationship I find out that in the very beginning he cheated on me with his x. I was looking for some texts that I sent him and accidentally came across a text from his x that went something like " Im gonna suck your d**ck ..blah blah "... and messages from him to her (xcuse my language) " My balls are hurting from last night "... I also found out that he had some naked pics of her on his cell. I dont know about you , but if you are in relationship , you re not supposed to have your x's xxx RATED pics..PERIOD.....When I asked him if he cheated on me with her , he denied it , saying that they only hung out ..thats it. When I brought up the texts , he became very emotional ,admitted fucking her and promised me that would never happen again. His explanation was that it happened at the very beginning of the relationship and he was not in love with me , like he is now. So like an idiot I believed him... A couple of months go by and guess what ... I find out that he is still talking to her . His excuse ? - " I didnt think that me talking to her was going to hurt you... EXCUSE ME ? You tell me that you going to go into your friends house for an hour or so to take care of something , (he lied about that .. , he was meeting his x there ) leave me sitting outside waiting while he was fucking your x inside ...and he thought that him talking or seeing her wasnt going to hurt me ??? It killed me .. I havent cut myself in years .. I did it again when I found out. I could not handle the emotional pain and could not deal with such blatant BETRAYAL..The thing that scared me more than anything else was that his x ( from his own words is a nasty skank , with god knows what diseases...herpes for a fact) and he does not use condoms. (i know that for a fact ..from him actually)
I told myself that i am overreacting..may be they did just talk. (its amazing what lies we believe when we want to ) ..whatever...moving on...
A month or two later we got into a huge fight , almost broke up for a couple of days and guess what ..He ends up hanging out with her again. his excuse ? " i was upset and needed someone to talk to " .... Right at that same time I also found out I was pregnant. Once again..we go through this all over again..." i dont know why I talk to her , I Am an idiot , I love you -she means nothing to me " that kind of crap ...
We were both homeless , strung out at the time so again i ignored it , even though it was killing me on the inside.
Fast forward to a few months ago ....Things are going sorta ok when by accident (he was sitting right next to me ) I see a message from him to her on face book - "you look sexy girl "... Again , according to him he was just paying her a compliment.. And I am thinking to myself ..You disgusting piece of shit ..I AM 7 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD AND YOU CANT DO A DECENT THING AND BE FAITHFUL ???? YOU CANT BE A MAN ENOUGH AND ADMIT THAT YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME AND FUCK HER AT THE SAME TIME ???? when we first me , and we were just friends he told me that he still has feelings for her and when they hang out they are all over each other and they just get high and fuck. How the hell is that supposed to make me feel ??? Now he swears up and down that he loves me , he wants nothing to do with her , she is a disgusting skank , but guess what .. I CANT TRUST HIM ! Every time he disappears and i dont know where he is , i am thinking that he is spending time with her . Ive had a complicated pregnancy and could not have sex towards the end, so I really think he was screwing her . Which he denies. So now , a few days ago , I look through his phone ( not accidentally ) , and I see her number ..Of course I flip the fuck out ... His excuse ? " she just called me out of the blue and i picked up. whats wrong with that ? " she thinks she is pregnant , so she wanted advice" " if you did not accuse me of cheating all the time , I wouldnt have picked up the phone ". He says i never gave this relationship a chance cu i never got over him cheating on me . Guys , I did ..I really did ..If he cheated on me and thats it , it would have been over and forgotten about a long time ago..because it did happen at the very beginning. But he kept on lying to me , talking to her , meeting up with her ..And thats just what I know of ..I am sure there is more that I just dont know about. I dont know what to do .. ...I stopped talking to the father of my 2 boys because he was so jealous of him. ( my boys are not with me btw. they are with their paternal aunt) ...He has a problem when I talk to my x husband.
Guys , this is killing me . Deep inside , i know I am wasting my time and he will never leave this girl alone. I care for him , I still love him , but I cant go on like this. we have a beautiful 1 month old daughter..I wish I was strong enough to just leave him. I am crying as i am writing this because i ont know what to do ...
I dont even know how to describe what Ive been through with this man. We ve been through so much together. . And he did this to me ...This is tearing me up..
I cant think with my heart anymore ..it has gotten me nowhere ...got me nothing except for more pain and tears ...Any suggestions, advice...
I am sorry for rambling guys , just need some advice or just for you to read this and tell me what you think