KirStang

How Porn Is Affecting the Libido of the American Male -- New York Magazine

Does anyone feel that this theory rings true? Is Porn to changing the nature of sex, relationships and the roles that each party plays? Is porn making you unable to come?

Discuss.

I will probably add more as the discussion develops--but I have found my experience somewhat parallels what is described.

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Vaultboy

John Mayer doesn't say what the effect of ogling 300 vagina's before breakfast is, though.

For my part, porn has influenced my preferences, and the only detrimental effect is probably increased objectification of women. Porn has helped me be far more comfortable with myself sexually, and also helped me realise how to satisfy women more.

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"Failing tastes of bile and dog vomit. Pity any man that gets used to that taste."

Seaver

Yeah... he needs to realize it's not porn which is stopping him from cumming using condoms... it's getting older.

I've been watching porn since I was 14, so now that I'm 28 I've been watching porn for half of my life. With his logic I should have lost my libido 13 years ago.

He's getting old and wants to blame other shit for it.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

Fotzlid

WTF?!?...before you got out of bed?!? Someones got a problem...

After reading the article, it seems that moderation has gone out the window for the guys quoted in the text.

mixedmedia

300 pussies before breakfast.

sounds like a fellini film.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Bonkai

Well i guess it could be possible exposing yourself to a wealth of porn could desensitize you in the bedroom, but if that's the case why not just visualize the porn while you're pumping so you don't have to fake for one solution. Who knows tho, this guy could many things effecting his libido than just porn.

Lindy

Well, it certainly seems to have an effect on the male porn actors, who can't seem to cum without pulling out of whatever hole they happen to be pumping, shedding the condom, and finishing with their own hand.
My 44 year old Sig other doesn't have that trouble. On the other hand, it would be hard for either of us to get off with Neil Young whining in the background.

Lindy

Zeraph

Porn makes me hornier, and like more types of women not less. As the years have gone by I've gotten bored of the barbie doll/porn star norm. So it actually had a reverse-positive effect on me. Now I'll have sex with almost anyone.

Bonkai

You also have to remember that porn is choreographed, the performers are being directed so what you see isn't real intimacy :\

Cimarron29414

What?!? The hell you say!

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Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Bonkai

Just trying to say that I don't think that a male porn stars way of cumming on camera is a reflection of male intimate inadequacy

ASU2003

Anti-depressants don't reduce sensations, it just takes longer to have an orgasm.

I would say that he either needs to use different condoms, needs to be monogamous and not have to use condoms, or masturbate differently. Or maybe there is some psychological stuff going on in his head. And if he is circumcised, that might be causing problems.

The only way he could blame porn is if he only looks at the skinny hot college girls, and any women he could get don't come close to his fantasy girl.

KirStang

I have found that I can't climax sometimes, and think about porn actresses while having sex in order to help me get off. Perhaps it's my aging, or stress, but the constant wanking and stimuli may play a factor.

We've all studied psychology and understand conditioning--response/stimuli. I would not be surprised if my inability to climax was linked (to an extent) to the amount of porn I watch.

Anyway, it's inconclusive and maybe it's just me blaming. Thought it was interesting.

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Cynthetiq

I read that as FOR breakfast and I thought it would make an astounding breakfast!

Breakfast of champions!

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Cimarron29414

You will NEVER convince me that when Randy West gives Sasha Grey a dirty sanchez that it is contrived intimacy.

__________________
Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

Ruby Ryder

That's for the cum shot, of course...which was undoubtedly all over some woman's face.

I think porn has changed the way some young men approach sex. They think that normal sex has a lack of intimacy, all women like to have cum in their face and are able to do acrobatic sex. I include a 9" penis going into the ass of a 5' petite woman (on muscle relaxers) in that last category, too.

As for libido? That varies so widely from man to man. Nothing wrong with porn, as long as you have a little reality check once in a while.

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Ruby Ryder

Plan9

Another "porn is bad" thread? Really? Of course porn is killing your libido. CNN is killing your attention span. Video games are killing your morals, too.

...

First: John Mayer is an asshole and no person worth their salt should listen to anything that dipshit has to say.

...

...way interesting coming from someone who is enthusiastically cheerleading fucking men in the ass with a strap-on. Mmm-hmm.

...

Linda Williams wrote a great book (albeit now ancient) on this topic entitled "Hard Core: The Power, The Pleasure and the Frenzy of the Visible." The sections I find most interesting are the "rise of female power" as related to pornography. Women used to solely be the objects in said medium, now it seems as if there is a powerful yet subtle shift from object to the driver's seat. Women are very clearly in charge of sex today and porn will follow.

That and all the uppity fetish-now-common phase talk is silly. It's why I went on that goofy axillism (maschalagnia) fetish tangent a while back.

Don't like what society considers "hot" now? Just wait a few years. Ubiquitous acts like anal sex and facial ejaculation will be replaced with armpit sex.

And just like all trends (such as fashion), if you don't like it... don't do it. Your partner will decide if you're a fun enough fuck, right? Different strokes, yo.

It all comes back to taking control of your relationships and that old TFP staple: communication. If you don't want a finger in your ass, make it known.

...

Regarding the OP:

I think our boy KirStang may just be burned out on too much gonzo porn. Like a junk food coma. Or maybe his partners aren't right for him as far as what he needs to get off. While I masturbate looking at porn just as much (if not moreso) than my peers (especially given my ridiculous job/living arrangements where I go for months at a time without seeing my partner or any woman), I'm always eager to smash my girl's guts regardless of how long ago it was that I last had it. Fantasy is fantasy, masturbation is a mindless quick release and real sex has never lost its gotta-have-it appeal. When you enjoy masturbation more than sex, you've got a problem. While I've been with girls that I was less excited to screw than others because they weren't as physically attractive (to me) or as "engaged" in bed, I still never had to conjure up some silicone-injected elasti-orifice bimbo to launch the old love pudding. Gotta stay in touch with reality: I'm probably never going to have a Ferrari either... and I'm aware that don't need one to be happy.

All good things in moderation, people.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MrFriendly

This, essentially.

Though and I have always differed on opinion on this one. It's not that I think porn is bad (even though I go for long stretches without looking at it), I do think the question should be asked if is affecting people, both individually and collectively.

Porn is not a problem in and of itself. People's attitudes and own mental health can be, and consuming too much porn becomes a symptom of deeper problems. That applies to greater society as well.

But if people are going to ever seriously sit down and analyze things questions must be asked, discussed, and debated. In this case, does too much porn kill libido?

Unfortunately, the article, while asking the question, goes no further. I'm a numbers man, I'm always keen to see data and stats. Proper research.

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You are not a slave

mixedmedia

Like many things of the mind, if you believe that too much porn is affecting your libido then obviously it is quite possible that it is affecting your libido.

I don't think that porn is bad, obviously. What is possibly bad is a society that all of a sudden finds itself with no limitations - we can see whatever we want, whenever we want and as much as we want. While there are folks who are balanced and disciplined enough to handle the key to the candy store with restraint - they can go in, take what they need and leave - there are many others who cannot. It's what makes an addict, an addict. And unlike most 'classic' addictions there aren't any practical limitations such as money or even having to leave your home to 'score.'

But that said, like plan9 referred to, internet porn is only one of many modern day temptations that people are indulging themselves with in excess. To me, that is really the more troubling phenomena. Looking at 300 of anything before getting out of the bed in the morning probably means you have a problem.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Vaultboy

What? Everyone on TFP studied psychology except me?

__________________
"Failing tastes of bile and dog vomit. Pity any man that gets used to that taste."

KirStang

Oh come on. Never heard of Pavlov?

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Plan9

His location is Third World. They think Pavlov has an incendiary brother, Molotov.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Lindy

I don't think porn is bad. I'm just a critic. I generally enjoy porn, but it could be so much better. I don't think whiskey is bad either, but that sure doesn't mean that there's not a lot of bad whiskey out there.

Yep!

I can "do me" better than anybody else. I still prefer the right partner.
I'll drink a cocktail to that!

Lindy

Plan9

See, I can't.

I’ve never been as good for me as someone else. Chinese food satisfaction. And that's important here. While I might be able to masturbate furiously and climax quickly without any pressure looking at a naked stranger on a 17" LCD screen, it isn't nearly as toe-curling good as sex with a real hot and wild woman. I’d imagine all those women buzzing away under the sheets before their boyfriend gets home are thinking the same damn thing as the guys: "I just want to get off because I don't have the time/energy for real sex tonight." The means to the end is different, but it’s the same goddamn end. Nobody needs porn/vibrators to get off (at least not in the realm of normal/healthy), but it is, respectively, how men and women seem to prefer to do it.

That's the hardest part about porn to explain to people that "don't get it." Maybe their sex drive is low to the point that regular sex with their partner is all they need. I wish I was like that. I wake up like the beginning to The 40 Year Old Virgin almost every day and lemme tell ya: It’s really kinda brutal tucking a throbbing erection under the heavy metal buckle of a gun belt. I've had girlfriends that detailed their almost nightly masturbation habits to me via instant messenger and at no point did I see it as a negative. I wonder why it's so dirty/wrong for men to masturbate and why it causes so many sexual dysfunction issues yet it is still super rawr-some for girls to diddle the bean? What a bizarre 180 flip of old school Victorian bullshit.

Masturbation, for me, is about as satisfying as flossing. While that might make my dentist really happy if I just leave it at that, let me explain that I’m referring to that mindless quick release again. It’s completely natural (even monkeys do it), healthy (exercise out the old prostate), and inevitable (I’m around my partner maybe two months a year). I haven't had any sexual dysfunction issues aside from trying to explain porn to some of my partners.

I don't know where I was going with this but I'm tired of people blaming things for their problems instead of being responsible for their habits.

Gambling, booze, slamming your motorcycle up to 150 on the freeway, eating too many goddamn cookies... own your problems, says Dr. Phil.

So, yeah, I'm going to go masturbate again.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."