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Old 10-13-2009, 02:13 PM   #41 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: USA
When you recently lost your virginity, anything makes you cum.
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Old 10-13-2009, 02:42 PM   #42 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
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Location: In the dust of the archives
Redheads. Not all. But most redheads. But, c'mon...you knew that. Didn't you?

'Course...time was...all it took was a good stiff breeze. Sadly, those days are but a distant, and yet happy, memory. But, at least I'm not on the viagra train...just yet.
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
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Old 10-13-2009, 03:01 PM   #43 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Stockings and their arm equiv. A-bomb hot for no good reason.

A surprise cock-squeezin'. Completely random with a wink.

M240B.*

Sexual activities beyond what the Amish consider acceptable.

Dark chocolate Raisinettes (TM).

The_Jazz, when he corrects my spelling and grammar.

...

*SSG Bryan Otero. Mosul, Iraq. 2003.
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Last edited by Plan9; 10-13-2009 at 03:06 PM..
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Old 10-13-2009, 04:43 PM   #44 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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Administrator
Location: Chicago
Hey, y'all, watch this:

Plan9, you're supposed to capitalize the "C" in Dark Chocolate Raisinettes. You also had a bunch of incomplete phrases that you're trying pass off as sentences.

{crackle} We need a clean up on Ed Woods. Clean up on Ed Woods. {pop, hiss}
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"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
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Old 10-14-2009, 01:43 AM   #45 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
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Location: Windiwana
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous View Post

...and sometimes, riding the bus or train
that, sir, is called a buzzcock.

good stuff jazz. good stuff.
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Last edited by SSJTWIZTA; 10-14-2009 at 01:46 AM..
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:00 PM   #46 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Whatever house my keys can get me into
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Bear Cub View Post
i'm not a guy but i find that kneeling, looking up while tilting your head, and saying "what do you want me to do?" works pretty well.
+1
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Old 10-14-2009, 11:30 PM   #47 (permalink)
Upright
 
small breasts

soapy massage

Last edited by Wakazashi; 10-15-2009 at 12:02 AM..
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Old 10-15-2009, 09:02 AM   #48 (permalink)
Crazy
 
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Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
"I want your cum inside me."
I can't imagine a place or situation where being whispered that in my ear wouldn't give me a full raging hard on. Wedding, dentist appointment, funeral, you name it. Sorry grandma.
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:40 PM   #49 (permalink)
bad craziness
 
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Location: Guelph, Ontario
Watching my GF masterbate to lesbian porn. She likes it, and it gets me pretty much insta-hard.
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:46 PM   #50 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highdro69 View Post
"I want your cum inside me."
Funny, I usually say no to that request given that not having a kid is totally a turn on.

I think it's more fun if they want their reward deposited elsewhere.

Ya know, in a place that doesn't turn into a teenager if you ignore it for 13 years.
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Last edited by Plan9; 10-15-2009 at 07:52 PM..
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:48 PM   #51 (permalink)
Here
 
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Location: Denver City Denver
Piano wire, hand-cuffs, blindfolds, car battery, baseball bat, chainsaw, box of trash bags, and a shovel.
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:51 PM   #52 (permalink)
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
 
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Location: Southern Illinois
"pooper"
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AZIZ! LIGHT!
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Old 10-16-2009, 04:21 AM   #53 (permalink)
Upright
 
It all boils down to projecting self-confidence and show you want sex as much as the horniest man. Stereotypically (yes I know I'm generalizing, but that's the point), the man is supposed to be the aggressor or the chaser and the woman is supposed to be the one chased and "give in". As a man, when my wife on rare occassions breaks those roles and chases me for sex, that's an instant turn on. A lot of the earlier suggestions, wearing sexy lingerie, not wearing underwear, rubbing herself or him, all boils down to her chasing him. Those are the sexy moments that really stick out in my memory.
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Old 10-16-2009, 04:26 AM   #54 (permalink)
has all her shots.
 
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Location: Florida
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel_ View Post
you make him wait?
You've never heard of delayed gratification?
we like it.
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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce
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Old 10-16-2009, 06:04 AM   #55 (permalink)
Sober
 
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Location: Eastern Canada
We like it, too... but at least as much for the gratification part as for the delayed part!
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Old 10-16-2009, 07:36 AM   #56 (permalink)
is Nucking Futs!
 
Dano069's Avatar
 
Location: On the edge of sanity
There's so many things, let's see...

When my wife flashes truck drivers.

When I think of her and one of her sisters doing me.

The thought of coming on my wife's face and tits, then, actually doing it.

Fantasies of my wife getting gangbanged.

Short shorts, short skirt (with or without panties), thigh high stockings, tight shirt (with or without a bra), low cut shirt.

Eating my honey's pussy.

There's more, but that'll do for now.
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Old 10-16-2009, 09:56 AM   #57 (permalink)
Chicken scratch.
 
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Location: Japan!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
Just crapped my pants.
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Old 10-16-2009, 10:20 AM   #58 (permalink)
Functionally Appropriate
 
fresnelly's Avatar
 
Location: Toronto
"Anyone up for Skinny Dipping?"
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Old 10-16-2009, 10:40 AM   #59 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fresnelly View Post
"Anyone up for Skinny Dipping?"
In Toronto?! Doesn't that give you an innie?
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Old 10-16-2009, 05:07 PM   #60 (permalink)
Functionally Appropriate
 
fresnelly's Avatar
 
Location: Toronto
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
In Toronto?! Doesn't that give you an innie?
Quite the opposite my friend. Quite the opposite.
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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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Old 10-16-2009, 05:44 PM   #61 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fresnelly View Post
Pfft, I've got a polar bear dick.
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Old 10-17-2009, 06:12 AM   #62 (permalink)
Crazy
 
highdro69's Avatar
 
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
Funny, I usually say no to that request given that not having a kid is totally a turn on.

I think it's more fun if they want their reward deposited elsewhere.

Ya know, in a place that doesn't turn into a teenager if you ignore it for 13 years.
Yea, but that's part of the danger and excitement! "Will I have to pay a skinhead to kick my girlfriend in the stomach when this is over? I don't know, let's find out!"
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Old 10-17-2009, 07:00 AM   #63 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highdro69 View Post
Yea, but that's part of the danger and excitement! "Will I have to pay a skinhead to kick my girlfriend in the stomach when this is over? I don't know, let's find out!"
Heh, I need a couple of shots in me to find that one funny.
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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
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Old 10-17-2009, 10:11 AM   #64 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King View Post
Piano wire, hand-cuffs, blindfolds, car battery, baseball bat, chainsaw, box of trash bags, and a shovel.
you forgot a bag of lime
you also somewhat disturb me!
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas
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Old 10-17-2009, 11:06 AM   #65 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Earth
deleted

Last edited by raptor9k; 09-07-2021 at 02:21 PM..
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Old 10-25-2009, 07:42 PM   #66 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tory View Post
i want to be able to make him cum in his pants
I'll take this literally and massage his dick with his pants still on -a clothed hand-job- maybe unzip him and put my hand inside his pants, play with his balls. I'd talk dirty. I'd ask him to tell me how much he likes my tits (guys like to talk dirty too.) I might ask him to tell me about somebody else that he would like to be doing what I'm doing to him.

Lindy
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Old 10-25-2009, 08:23 PM   #67 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: WA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindy View Post
I'll take this literally and massage his dick with his pants still on -a clothed hand-job- maybe unzip him and put my hand inside his pants, play with his balls. I'd talk dirty. I'd ask him to tell me how much he likes my tits (guys like to talk dirty too.) I might ask him to tell me about somebody else that he would like to be doing what I'm doing to him.

Lindy
Definitely works
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Old 10-26-2009, 10:05 AM   #68 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindy View Post
HURR HURR HURR ... HOT STUFF ... HURR HURR.

Lindy
Just came in pants.
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Old 10-26-2009, 07:06 PM   #69 (permalink)
Addict
 
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So guys and gals, what’s the best way you’ve ever been initiated to have sex? You've always got the best ideas!

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Old 10-27-2009, 06:44 PM   #70 (permalink)
We work alone
 
LoganSnake's Avatar
 
Location: Cake Town
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Bear Cub View Post
i'm not a guy but i find that kneeling, looking up while tilting your head, and saying "what do you want me to do?" works pretty well.
This would do it for me.
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Old 10-27-2009, 10:18 PM   #71 (permalink)
Upright
 
Doing it in unexpected places at unexpected times and slipping in occasionally a different move, technique. I'm a girl so I hope this advice is applicable. Trying it in a different area of the house, car, outside somewhere kind-of private but suspenseful enough to think at any moment you could get caught. Sex toys help, as does fun lingerie and dresses/skirts. Easy access men seem to love for the obvious reasons. Moaning, spanking, talking dirty, you get the idea.
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Old 11-03-2009, 01:49 PM   #72 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: American cowboy southwest
A brief phone call at work:

"remember that lace chemise you gave me in Albuquerque? I'm wearing it now, and can't wait until you get home..."

Instant.
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Old 11-17-2009, 03:17 PM   #73 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Shaindra's Avatar
 
Location: Massachusetts
Going to the ladies room, upon return, stuffing your damp panties into his hand.
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Old 11-17-2009, 03:19 PM   #74 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaindra View Post
Going to the ladies room, upon return, stuffing your damp panties into his hand.
Depends on what they're damp from.
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Old 11-17-2009, 03:42 PM   #75 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Shaindra's Avatar
 
Location: Massachusetts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
Depends on what they're damp from.
If they were damp from anything but my fresh, girlie juices, I'd have just stuffed them in my purse.
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Old 11-17-2009, 07:06 PM   #76 (permalink)
Minion of Joss
 
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Location: The Windy City
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaindra View Post
If they were damp from anything but my fresh, girlie juices, I'd have just stuffed them in my purse.

*faints*
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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Old 11-18-2009, 12:50 AM   #77 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: At my house!!
There are so many ways to get your guy nice and hard..... but here are a few things I have done. While we are out of the house, I whisper in his ear, and tell him all the things I am going to do to him when we get home. If we are sitting at a table across from each other, I reach my foot up to his croch and rest my foot between his legs, then i write a note on a napkin and tell him I can feel the heat of his cock on my foot, and how much i want to feel the heat in me. stand behind him, reach around and slip your hands in the waist of his pants, and gently scratch his pubes as you remove your hands. Give him quick peeks of your body, the risk of being caught by someone else adds to the effect for both of you. tell him how wet you are, and he is the reason you are wet, then put your hand down your pants and pull out your wet fingers as evidence.

At home.... let him catch you masturbating, serve dinner completely nude or learn to talk dirty, never met a guy that doesnt like that!!!
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Old 11-18-2009, 01:16 AM   #78 (permalink)
Broken Arrow
 
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Location: US
http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/erection.jpg

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-Winston Churchill

Last edited by Vigilante; 11-19-2009 at 12:50 AM..
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:43 AM   #79 (permalink)
We work alone
 
LoganSnake's Avatar
 
Location: Cake Town
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristinaG View Post
There are so many ways to get your guy nice and hard..... but here are a few things I have done. While we are out of the house, I whisper in his ear, and tell him all the things I am going to do to him when we get home. If we are sitting at a table across from each other, I reach my foot up to his croch and rest my foot between his legs, then i write a note on a napkin and tell him I can feel the heat of his cock on my foot, and how much i want to feel the heat in me. stand behind him, reach around and slip your hands in the waist of his pants, and gently scratch his pubes as you remove your hands. Give him quick peeks of your body, the risk of being caught by someone else adds to the effect for both of you. tell him how wet you are, and he is the reason you are wet, then put your hand down your pants and pull out your wet fingers as evidence.

At home.... let him catch you masturbating, serve dinner completely nude or learn to talk dirty, never met a guy that doesnt like that!!!
I'm sending my next girlfriend to live with you for a month and learn the tricks.
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Old 11-18-2009, 11:06 AM   #80 (permalink)
Broken Arrow
 
Vigilante's Avatar
 
Location: US
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristinaG View Post
There are so many ways to get your guy nice and hard..... but here are a few things I have done. While we are out of the house, I whisper in his ear, and tell him all the things I am going to do to him when we get home. If we are sitting at a table across from each other, I reach my foot up to his croch and rest my foot between his legs, then i write a note on a napkin and tell him I can feel the heat of his cock on my foot, and how much i want to feel the heat in me. stand behind him, reach around and slip your hands in the waist of his pants, and gently scratch his pubes as you remove your hands. Give him quick peeks of your body, the risk of being caught by someone else adds to the effect for both of you. tell him how wet you are, and he is the reason you are wet, then put your hand down your pants and pull out your wet fingers as evidence.

At home.... let him catch you masturbating, serve dinner completely nude or learn to talk dirty, never met a guy that doesnt like that!!!
Do you offer wife training?
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We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill
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