KirStang

Does anyone else ever regret letting a S.O. go?

I for one, definitely miss this cutey I used to see. I was a Sr. in College and she was a Freshman, so I had a lot more complex feelings, thoughts and emotions than she did or so i thought I did. At the time we were hooking up, I never really gave her all of me. But I'll never forget one morning when I woke up after a passionate night, and we started fooling around, I pinned her down, and in the cutest way she said, "You win." With a big goofy grin.

She's happily with someone else now, and I'm 850 miles away in law school. Pretty frequently, I wish that at the time, I gave her a lot more of me, and tried harder to keep her than let her go. I guess in short--this was one time I definitely should have let my guard down--and now I totally missed out.

Anybody care to share their experiences?

BogeyDope

At times I regret breaking up with my first and only girlfriend [thus far]. We had been together for a year and a half, and as I started my second year of college and putting more into investing myself, I had less time for her, so I somehow figured the most logical decision would be to break up with her. I felt as though she was a bird in a cage, especially knowing how much she loved me and how dead set she was that I was the one. I'm sure there are others like her.

It's like this: Imagine you have perfect piece of steak at home, but instead of eating that steak that you are happy with, you leave it at home to go out and eat at some crap fast food restaurant.

Sometimes, the thought of never finding a piece of steak like her makes me regret leaving her, even though I felt it was in her best interest. Oh, and no, I'm not sexist or insensitive, I just felt as though using the steak analogy was a good fit.

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MEAD

Maybe it would be easier to find another great girl if you stopped comparing them to meat.

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jewels

Only once, but I got him back.

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Charlatan

There is one woman. It isn't so much that I regret losing her rather I wish things could be different. You see I had to choose between her and my current wife. I know chose well... not even a question of that.

This is the case in my life where I wish polyamoury was an easier option.

If I could have had both women in my life I would have been doubly happy. Sadly, I don't think either of them would have been up for it.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

digme

I was seeing this girl in college. She fell for me hard, and I wanted to keep my options open. By the time I figured out I wanted to be with her, she was ready to move on. I don't know if we were right together, but I wish I would have come to my senses a bit earlier and given us a real shot.

snowy

No. The man I'm with now is absolutely the man for me. He complements me so well it's ridiculous. In fact, he makes me look back at my past relationships and shake my head. None of them come close to what I have now. It's like the difference between sunlight and artificial light, or butter and margarine, or whipped cream and Cool Whip. He's the real thing.

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World's King

I have two.




One was my fault and the other wasn't.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

abaya

I know that I'm the woman that my exes regret breaking up with. Their fuckin' loss.

As for me? Nope. I married very happily, and haven't looked back since.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

hunbun0704

I have thought about an ex off and on during the first few years of my marriage. I don't know if I truly regretted it as much as wondered. I really shouldn't have. It only took away from my true giving to my hubby. I made a choice one day my life is great and wondering what was or if it could of been was not worth the brain activity. I put that love and attention back onto the people around me and enjoyed their company. It is what you make it.

anti fishstick

i am not sure. thus far, no. but i am about to make this very tough decision and i don't know if i will ever regret this........

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Caracala

No. For me, I regret not letting them go sooner, heh.

Charlatan

I have one of those in the past too...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Troublebot

It's not so much a person I miss as much as all the women I've known that I've been friends with and never even tried to take it to that next step. Too many girls I've wished I'd just asked out or who have come up to me later and said, "all you had to do was ask..."

i regret not being bolder in high school and college. Life is ok now, but I'll always wonder what could have been.

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Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

BogeyDope

I regret the same of high school. Now I'm in my 2nd year of college and try my best to be as daring as I can. It amazes me how difficult it is for me to randomly walk up to someone and talk to them, yet I've had people die in my arms and fires nearly kill me. I need some of that adrenaline when I'm about to talk to the cute girl in the bookstore haha.

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Focus. Control. Conviction. Resolve. A true ace lacks none of these attributes. Nothing can deter you from the task at hand except your own fears. This is your sky.

Moriarty

I did about five years ago. We got back together and it was not the same and could not get the chemistry going again.

OzOz

There have been a few about whom I've always wondered "What if?" as they approached me, but nearly all of them when I was already taken - although I would never have said yes in those circumstances and don't regret my decisions. There was one however who I wished the timing could have been a little better with.

I had just separated from my wife, but was still living under the same roof with her as I hadn't had time to save up to set up my own place yet. At that time, in preparation for an overseas posting with my job, I went to hospital for a CT scan. The operator was training a young Canadian student who to me was absolutely gorgeous, and I got the impression that she thought something similar about me, as we chatted up a storm and when I went to leave, she followed me out into the corridor where we kept talking. I sooooooo wanted to ask her out, but really, what could I do? When we're out on our first date and she asks me about where I live, what happens when I tell her that I'm separated from my wife but we still live in the same house? Oh yeah, I'm also about to disappear overseas for six months... I can just imagine how well all of THAT would have gone down!

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new man

Are we talking about the one that escaped from the box I had her locked in in the old abandoned cabin? She got away, but I still have her her hair from when I tied her in a chair and shaved off all her hair and left her in the desert all alone. And sometimes in my dreams I can still her her screams, and I wonder if she ever made it home.

3GPositive

I once spent an amazing two hours chatting to a girl on a train. We didn't swap contact details. Nearly 20 years later I still regret that. Crazy huh?

Frosstbyte

I had that same problem in college. In high school, I had really great chemistry with this girl but we never quite got things going. Then in college, I had an opportunity to date her and played it perfectly and successfully and we started happily and passionately dating.

And then it decayed almost immediately into a mess. We spent a lot of time trying to pretend we were still in high school when neither of us was. It was bad for a lot of reasons.

I regret letting her slip away when things between us would've been healthy and cool, because by the time I had another chance, it was too late. I still feel embarrassed about how that whole thing worked out. I don't think I've had a conversation with her since (she's a good friend of my sister's and we're on amicable terms) that I didn't feel like a total jackass about after I thought about it later. Ugh.

My other slip away was abhorrent timing on both of our parts, but it kind of ended up in me meeting my wife instead of being with her. So I can't say I really regret that one too much.

genuinegirly

Er, I don't think that's what the OP was talking about.



There is one that I often think about. It wasn't a healthy situation. He didn't slip away, I intentionally ran and did my best not to look back. But I still wonder what he is up to, how he is doing. I wonder if he has hurt another woman, or if it was just me. I wonder if he is happy. I wonder if he is still pursuing men.

I think I see him every now and again. I wonder what I would say if we really did cross paths. I'm not sure I could say anything. I would probably just stare and let the moment pass.

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Fotzlid

I've had a couple good ones get away from me. I used to regret it but we were obviously not meant to be together at that time. They both hold a special place in my heart and were strong influences on who I am today.

anti fishstick

well now that i made the decision, i can say i don't regret it. not now anyway. that may change over time, but i know we aren't meant to be together at this time. doesn't mean we're not meant to be together period... we'll just have to find out in time.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

stellabella1978

A lot of people miss their first, but I found out how wrong that feeling is when I met up with my first. I realized that all of the terrific things were just my perceptions and memories. I think it is better to forget who you don't have and focus on who loves you.

lotsofmagnets

found myself in that situation twice now (other way around, being a guy....) another great one was a fling and we are still in touch as friends. sometimes i might have a little regret but on the whole i´ve done pretty well and seem to do better each time (not that i started badly)

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she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Derwood

I had one in college, though I was "cured" of this regret several years later when I had a very "High Fidelity" moment. I somehow got back in touch with her (magic of the internet) and explained the feelings I had had for her (we never dated, but I was pretty much in love with her for about 9 months). She pointed out several times when the door was open to her and I was stupidly naive and didn't take advantage. I was glad she broke that spell.

As it turns out, I probably dodged a bullet with her; she's a pretty damaged woman

josobot

I also dodged a bullet. Became a "monk" for five years. I ended up stronger and smarter. Still wonder how much of a mess if I had "taken the bullet".

LordEden

I don't know if this falls under the original idea from the OP but here goes. I met this girl while I was in college and I'll admit it here, I fell HARD for her. I was dating a girl at the time, but after she broke up with me I went for her. She was everything I wanted in a woman; beautiful, smart, funny, and wild as hell (I like that to a point). We became friends after we realized we had alot in common and lived in the same apt complex. She was the exact opposite in relationships as I was, I liked to date monogamously and she wanted nothing to do with dating anyone (though she would go out on dates every once in a while). After 6 months of being friends or so, one day we started watching Fight Club (one of our favorite movies) while cuddling on couch. When the tyler/marla sex scene came on I made my move. We messed around and I ended up getting used in a way I never knew possible. I got her off with my hand and she stood up and said, "That was fun, but I got a date in an hour and I'm hungry." Even after that we ended up fucking and two days afterwards she asked me if I had slept with this girl we both knew. I had a few weeks before and told her the truth. She went off on me, as she hated this girl and thought she was full of STDs. I tried to defend myself but failed and we hardly spoke after that. I hated the fact that I slept with the other girl and wished I could have not done it, but didn't know the girl I wanted accually would have sex with me. We saw each other at times, but there was nothing there.

I still think about her to this day.

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Anormalguy

Maybe slapping the living shit out of him would help? Probably not .

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

high_jinx

I think we more miss/regret the windows of oppurtunity we didn't jump through, and then that feeling gets stronger if we end up knowing that person longer and valuing them even more as time goes on.

"I still remember" by bloc party is a great song/video that captures that feeling if you feel nostalgic.

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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

Dexter Morgan

There is one person who I regret never telling about the feelings I had for him.

Not sure if that counts, but there you go.

vox_rox

I don't know if I would go back and change things necessarily, but there were a couple of relationships that went sideways that might have been very different if a litte energy was expended, and who knows.

As it is, I'm happily married for 11 years now, so there's no doubt about where I belong now.

Just once in a while, my braind kinda goes "what if..."

Peace,

Pierre

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There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
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ItWasMe

He was my best friend for two years in college. He helped me with homework, took care of me when I had pneumonia, walked me to class, drove me to get a neck-brace when I got whiplash (staircase fall), went to the lake with me just so I could feed the ducks, filled my days with wonderful memories, smiles and laughter. A wonderful guy. I told him I loved him during school break. He said the same. But I chickened out when we got back to school. I was afraid if it didn't work out, I would lose my best friend (him). He waited over a year for me to come around, watching me date other guys. It broke his heart, and in the end I lost one of the best people I have had the privilege of knowing.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

citadel

There's definitely one that I regret losing, but it wasn't my fault. Knowing that makes it a little easier I suppose, but still keeps me up at night from time to time.

Shadowex3

In Highschool there was a girl in one of my classes who, from an objective standpoint, pretty much fit every quantifiable criteria I can name. Intelligent, not orthodox but still very much a jew, and at least in my opinion stunningly beautiful.

Now the backstory is that after about 10 years of literally having maybe one person I would interact with outside of the internet and abuse of varying brutality from teachers and often not much better from students I wasn't exactly up to speed on things like romance, seduction, and various basics of human interaction. This school was not much different and at the time I was desperately trying to get transferred to an online school where I'd be out of their system's reach.

That meant instead of trying to fit in I had to crank all my existing upfuckness to 11 to convince the administration I wasn't worth keeping around to screw with anymore. A not insignificant number of people basically figured it out from the start and wound up being good friends and helping me learn the ropes of positive human interaction. She wasn't one of them, she hated me, or at least feared me and found me as disturbing as half the faculty did. Being as incompetent as I was I didn't notice and actually thought the proper course of action was (compared to current skills) bad poetry and asking if she wanted to go see a movie.


The worst part I think is that being where I am now it's undeniable that I was in no condition to be in a relationship with someone, at the time I just wasn't really even capable of that kind of feeling or positive interaction. It just makes it so much worse to admit that she really was justified in her assessment. Especially since i rolled on my Charisma check so bad that to this day I'm on her block list and can never even apologize for how headsmackingly awkward and stupid that was.

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Shauk

Not emotionally, I get burned there and I can't stand to feel for them again without that seed of doubt and distrust, it's just not possible.

Sexually though? there was one that was just... seemingly built for me. That's rare.

Plan9

I wonder how KirStang will react to this thread after he gets back from where he's currently doing pushups and puking up peas and carrots.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

FelixP

I guess I have two. I'm talking with the one now, have been for a few months. We'll see what happens. I'm not trying to reinvest again if the bank is going to be broke. The other girl...I still think about her. Alot. I've tried explaining it to her, but she never really answers me. Not that it matters, I no longer have any means of getting in contact with her but...damn.

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Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

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MrFriendly

I don't feel regret because they are not in my life anymore. I do feel regret that the way I acted pushed them away. And that goes for more than just one person.

I'm a different person now, I like to think that I'm a better person. I'll always remember those that slipped away but I refuse to get hung up on them. I want to be able to finally give all of myself to someone else without holding back. I just don't have the energy to keep my shields up because of this fear of being hurt, rejected, or loosing it all. I figure it's just easier to dust myself off when thing get rough than constantly being afraid and never experiencing anything.

So yeah, I miss them, but I don't regret anything that's gone down. It all brought me to where I am now, and I'm getting ever so close to where I want to be.

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TheDragonlady

Maybe it's sad, maybe it's healthy but there's no one I regret letting slip away. I've been married twice (once when I was young and stupid, the other when i was older and stupid) and good riddance to them both. The only special someone was my first love in high school who died in a car wreck and there was nothing I could have done about that.

I'm seeing someone now and we seem to have some very special chemistry. I'm looking forward to seeing where it's going. It's better to look toward the future than to wonder about the past, I think.