nivia.99

hello,

am a girl having a boy friend who says am the only girl in his life and he always dreams about me. We are newly engaged and we have been making out together almost on an alternate day basis (Not everyday though). We have not had sex yet but we have done heavy petting and I enjoy it a lot. He also appears to be enjoying Albeit.. am not so sure of it. (His eyes are closed most of the times..) When asked.. he says - coz he s scared that I ll become conscious if he opens his eyes. Dunno - he may be right.

But recently I came across a pic of Sania Mirza (the Indian Tennis Player) with her legs wide spread and with shirts and a small tennis skirt in his laptop. I somehow felt insecure. Coz, he spends almost the entire day with me and he goes home for this? Was a little worried. yet, I genuinely asked him what all that is and why he does that. He says - "ii ve been doing it since ages. it is required for a start up. He gets turned on looking at her thighs. It has got nothing to do with me and he is completely satisfied with me" But, somehow I wanted to know what all this is about. Me - being the bollywood ishtyle- only one girl man look out He said- "I imagine that I am standing near her thighs and doing the masturbation."
I dunno - let me know why he is imagining another woman? All opnions are welcome.

All you guys - Please let me know if this is normal? If you all dont mind.. please let me know wat is it that runs while masturbating with pics of other nude/half nude women(masturbating with a porn movie.. is ok with me.. but this kinda upsets me). Just let me know if all of you are like this?

Also, let me know if the thought of your girlfrield/wife ever gets into the head while masturbating even with other woman's pics.

Is this a state of disloyalty? Or am I wrong? (Coz when I am masturbating, though I use porn.. I just imagine him all the while until orgasm).

All you girls-
Let me know how to deal with this? Is this normal? Is he sexually dissatisfied with me? He s fed up of me? He s looking for variety? Just unsure!

**PLEASE DONT FIND THIS GROSS.. JUST CURIO**

Nisses

I can't help but think this is a parody/trolling attempt.

Let's assume it's not though: How is it that you feel comfortable using porn movies, but get upset when people use photos?


Either way: don't work yourself up about it. Men are visually stimulated, so images work great for us.
However, I wouldn't say he's looking for variety (as in: wants different real partners).
It's just that this is a quick-fix that gets him off with a minimum of hassle.

Totally normal.

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FuriousAvatar

Absolutely normal.

I am curious, as Nisses is, about why you feel him using porn is fine but not non-nude photos? Anyway, everyone needs a little "me" time, or alone time to enjoy themselves, and each person enjoys that in different ways.

And yes, if I am with a partner and I'm masturbating alone, oftentimes thoughts of my SO will enter my head as I'm masturbating. I am very upfront that I masturbate alone when I'm with a partner.

nivia.99

I might be wrong. But, while watching a porn.. I thought he is not imagining enjoying her. ... just tht .. he definitely imagines the girl.. fantasizes her.. while watching her sitting alone...

I just wanna know why he wants to fantasize other women? Pls lemme know if he is dissatisfied wit me.. I aint worked up.. Thanks for the suggestions Just wondering.. wat it cud be.. the reason.. coz I don fantasize other men other than him.. was wondering if it is normal.. if every guy is lik tht.. or onlyl him..

Plan9

For serious. S'why I get down to funky town with my pastel love taffy.

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lotsofmagnets

definitely +1

something else that i would suggest is to trust him

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dlish

so he had a picture of the tennis player Mirza on his computer - so what?

why do you think he's flogging off to her pic?? im sure he's not. you just havent found the same thing that you masturbate to on his computer yet..porn.

i have alycia stokke as my background pic.. doesnt mean i flog off to her.

how old are you again??

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World's King

Guys will jerk off to anything...

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Halx

This is normal and nothing to be insecure about.

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Jinn

Better than looking at pictures of animals or children, isn't it?

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snowy

Totally normal, and certainly nothing to worry over.

I'm female and I don't fantasize about my partner 100% of the time...in fact, I fantasize about other people more than I fantasize about my partner. Does it make him insecure? No, of course not. Why? Because it's just a fantasy, nothing more. And it has nothing at all to do with you, or his level of satisfaction with you. They are two entirely separate things.

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Anormalguy

+1 for what has posted, fantasizing while masturbating is pretty normal.

Tully Mars

Completely normal, wouldn't get too worked up about it if I were you.

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abaya

I'm a happily married woman and I masturbate to videos of people having sex (including naked males who are not my husband) and I also fantasize about all kinds of other people and situations. It's normal, though not everyone feels the same way about it.

I used to feel the same way that you do, when I was just starting to learn about my own sexuality and what goes on in the minds of both men and women. That was several years ago... and it takes some time to let go of the need to be jealous or insecure. But I assure you that it is completely normal for people of both sexes to look at all kinds of images/videos when they masturbate, and that it has nothing to do with you.

However, if you are anything like the way I was, nothing that we tell you is really going to make you feel better about the situation. You are going to have to work through these feelings on your own, and by talking about them with your boyfriend. You are both going through a time of exploration and learning about each other, and your own self. Give it time... and keep talking with him, not working against him. Explore yourself... do you like to masturbate? You could talk with him about that, and maybe see how it feels to watch porn with him, and on your own. Just try some things and see how it feels.

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LoganSnake

Take it from the normal guy. He speaks the truth.

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Vigilante

I can tell you as a 32 year old man that has been married for almost 12 years that your boyfriend is normal and can be trusted based on what you've said. Everyone fantasizes, and more often than not the fantasy is either with someone you won't ever be with, or about something you'll never do, and sometimes both at the same time. Hell, sometimes 20 people at the same time!

Point is, doing something nasty with someone else in your head is a release. It relieves stress, it relieves sexual tension and it feels good and makes the rest of the day better. Once it's over, oftentimes the acute attraction is diminished and you move on. It's not a fixation, but rather a release of the fixation that resides at the back of the mind. So that is why it is normal and healthy.

On your side of the issue, you focus on the one person and expect the same in return. That is not fair for either of you. You will be let down if you continue that thought process. There are 2 things (among many) that I think you should consider: 1) Every person fantasizes differently, so what works for you doesn't necessarily work for him. 2) You seem young, and you haven't learned yet that digging into male fantasies is a mistake if you are the jealous sort. Never ask a question for which you don't want the true answer. He can either lie to your face or he can blow your mind (in a bad way), so by touching on the subject of masturbation fodder, you put him in a spot for which he cannot win.

This also brings up another topic. If you are digging around in his files, stop. You will either have to trust him or stop trusting him, at which point the relationship is over. I can guarantee you that if my wife dug around in my files, she would probably be somewhat angered by the number of fantastic butts and hot chicks I have scattered around. I don't dig in her files so I wouldn't know if she has a secret stash or not, but I suspect not, now. She did have one once, but I ran across that by accident. I didn't bring it up and I haven't seen one since, but it doesn't matter. She's not doing them so if she wants to get off to some pic, more power to her

If you and your boyfriend are serious, try to trust him more and move on (and quit probing). Otherwise, move on to someone you feel more comfortable trusting (but still quit probing the male mind, unless it turns you on).

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high_jinx

a man's relationship with his porn has nothing to do with any relationship with you unless he's sharing it with you on the couch. men are hardwired to be turned on visually, and need to look at women in public and on the net and in mags as much as you need to sometimes eat chocolate or take a bubble bath for your sensual appetites. it has nothing to do with how he sees you or his degree of faithfulness to your relationship.

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ironman

When I was 12 I used to masturbate at the simple sound of the intro to the song "boys" from Sabrina. I dedicated many, many, many masturbation sessions to sabrina and her Boys video, those were the days.... To the day, whenever I listen that song, it tickles down there.

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World's King

I'm jerking off right now...

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Acetylene

I think you might be too young to consider being engaged at the moment.

I know, nobody likes to hear that. I didn't either when I was 18 and had been with the same boy for 4 years and thought I was ready. But you sound a lot like me when I was a teenager, and I would strongly, STRONGLY recommend letting yourself grow a little more before thinking about "forever" with ANYONE.

Don't worry so much about whether he is dissatisfied with you. If he is not satisfied, then he needs to tell you what he wants; you aren't a mind reader, after all! And, of course, the same goes for you - if you want something, or you don't like what he's doing, you should tell him.

Good luck, and have a little fun. Don't worry so much about "forever" right now; eternity can wait! Your youth is for learning and exploring, and you are staying safe (not having sex) so it's not like there are any risks involved.

Of course (it has to be said!) if you do decide to have sex, WEAR A CONDOM! Condoms will protect you and they don't get in the way. Don't let any boyfriend convince you to have sex without a condom.

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Tully Mars

I was bored and considering it. After reading your post... not so much now.

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Ayashe

My boyfriend has his way of handling himself. I don't mind it at all as long as the assistance that he receives still has him flying solo. Erotic stories, porn movies, photographs, I don't mind. If he were to become obsessive about it, that may be an issue, but he is not. Everyone has their own way of handling stress and hormones.

Bear Cub

Don't worry about it. When you two break up, he'll start masturbating to your pictures. Nothing like jerking off to photos of an ex.

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Cervantes

Most if not all men do this, just as most women fantasize about other men. It's perfectly normal and nothing to be insecure about. Could even lead to some fun role playing in the bed if you are into that.

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Manic_Skafe

Nice replies everyone.

But I've got ten bucks that says she never comes back.

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Cynosure

I just googled "Sania Mirza" and then gazed at the resulting images.

I'll be in my bunk.

ASU2003

(edit: linked sites are tripping alarms)

rr1024

Actually it get's me really turned on now a days when I catch my boyfriend jacking off on the internet porn/pictures, I'll usually turn it into a sex thing like last week I caught him and took my shirt off and made him cum on my breasts while calling him my bitch and stuff like that, we've turned into fun and enhancement for the both of us ;-)

nivia.99

thank you all for the wonderful replies..

so looks like loyalty is stuck only to "physical" debentures..and not mental fantasies.. Guess.. tht s the way of life..

But still this stupid me ll take some time to understand this I guess..
And yeah.. no sex as of now And I ll wait for the "forever" instead of gettin hooked so early..

dlish

manic you owe me ten bucks

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Manic_Skafe

Way to rub it in dlish. I'll donate it to tfp in your name.

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Anormalguy

You were saying ?

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high_jinx

if you think she's hot, google my new favorite javelin chukker from the olympics... leryn franco from paraquay.

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curiousbear

he is your boyfriend, but no sex, and he cant fantasize.... I know where you come from, God I had gone though this hell before!

Have safe fun and enjoy life. It is simple. Dont unnecessarily complicate it for yourself and others.

xxjuicesxx

Well two things are a given:
1 Hes never going to stop jerking off
2 Hes always going to view pictures/movies whilst doing so.

You know if you just give him sexually stimulating pictures of YOU he might be more inclined to get off to those instead.

Fill in the gaps.

Devoid

This, a thousand times. I find myself looking at stuff of my wife, or us together, a lot more than the "regular" porn these days. It's a lot hotter to think back to when you made them.

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Seeker72

I just got a visual of that....back in a few...

lagoonguy

It's a purely visual/stimulus thing for guys. they love porn for a good masturbation session. No emotion attached to it which i think can be confusing for women. Even though you can be in bliss with your partner, I think most guys will still masturbate or look at pics of hot women.

MrFriendly

Hehe, looks like there's nothing I can really add that hasn't been said already.

Doesn't matter who you're with, or how much you love them or how much they turn you on, I can bet you pounds to pennies that both yourself and your partner will fantasize about other people.

It's normal, it's natural, and it's nothing to be ashamed of or insecure about.

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