mixedsubstance

Men Are Just Happier People.
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades! You on ly have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier...

Feedback more than welcome, have fun with this....

__________________
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

Willravel

I've not rented a tux since jr. high. I've got a Zegna tux worth nearly $2,500. And women stare at my ass. I don't mind, though.

Why are women happier? Multiple orgasms, mother-child relationship, control over sex in the relationship, you have deeper friendships and relationships... but this is all stereotypes.

Punk.of.Ages

Also, we don't bleed from our genitalia.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Daniel_

This just proves you've never thought that "oh if you must" was the same as "yes, of course I want it up there".

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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Jetée

I had no idea I was so awesome.

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

MSD

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:


Yeah, it's still good for a laugh, especially as less and less of the stereotypes apply.

vanblah

Most of the things you mentioned are just life-style choices. Don't shave your legs or wear make-up if you don't want to. Who cares?

Men stare at breasts and butts ... but so do women. My wife has pointed out several nice physical forms over the years. Women judge men by our bald-spots and pot-bellies. Which do you think is more fair?

With regard to fashion, women do it to themselves. If there was no demand the prices would fall.

I WISH I could find more (and better) fashions for men. I'd love to have a closet full of different styles of clothes that would fit my mood. I detest most men's shoes and accessories. Women get to wear all kinds of cool shit. If I want to wear something with a little color I can get a tie. Whoop-de-fricken-do!!!

I'd love to be able to come to work as a red-head one day and a brunette the next. In fact, when I was younger I used to dye my hair all kinds of colors. If I did that now people would give me a hard time if not demand that I remove the color (in the case of my job).

Physiological differences (weight gain, pregnancy; opening jars) are nothing to focus on because you just can't change them.

Societal differences: I really hope they are changing. A woman will one day be president of that I am positive. The pay differential is fading away.

Jinn

Ahh yes, but you've missed the biggest reason that men ARE depressed, and the one that counters all of the advantages above.

We have to deal with women.

Hah, sorry.

But seriously, shouldn't this be Titled Humor and not Sexuality? Or does anyone actually believe this is discussable?

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

dlish

sorry i just had to reply to this one



Men Are Just NOT Happier People.


Your last name stays put - for men it stays the same your entire life.. at least you have a choice n changing it


The garage is all yours. - until the wife parks the volvo

Wedding plans take care of themselves - with the usual complaining and nagging

Chocolate is just another snack - that goes hand in hand with the belly

You can be President. - so can president arroyo from philliphines
You can never be pregnant - have you read the news lately?
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park - so can a woman. its not illegal
You can wear NO shirt to a water park - so can a woman. you'll probably get in for free

Car mechanics tell you the truth - i know as much about cars as you do

The world is your urinal - takes as much trouble to find a tree as it takes to squat

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. - squat

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. - theres only one way..clockwise. remember that one

Same work, more pay - more pay more responsibility, more pressure more chance of getting fired

Wrinkles add character. - wrinkles are wrinkles on anyone
A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100. - i never told you to go buy one.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. - people stare at wills ass

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected - chicks fart and burp too

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. - you've never tried some of mine

One mood all the time - youre obviously not male
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat - yes but who wants to talk to a female anyways?

You know stuff about tanks - army tanks? fish tanks? water tanks?

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. - ill take the suitcase you can take the boot

You can open all your own jars - i get asked to open everyones jars!

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. - everyone thinks im a prick

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend - thats cos you always not get invited when you're surfing the crimson tide

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack - i dont wear underwear

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. - one for the beach one for work and one for sport..yes.. is there any more need?

You almost never have strap problems in public. - we have scratch problems in public

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. - but others do!

Everything on your face stays its original color -men dont blush. get over it

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades! - have you seen bon jovi lately?

You on ly have to shave your face and neck. - is that all i shave? .....dont you shave your legs and back?

You can play with toys all your life.- most women have toys in their top drawer

Your belly usually hides your big hips. - king kong bundy said that once

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. - why do u like looking like a parakeet?

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. - so can you..id rather a womans legs than a mans crotch

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. - i can do your if you like

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache - i know women that grow moustaches

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. -nothing wrong with buying 25 people the same present

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

xxjuicesxx

Men are unhappy more often.

Men think more than women, about shit that really matters.

Why do you think every SOLID philosopher was a dude?

777

I have one to add: Men can avoid deep conversations by talking about sports. And regarding the pay difference, it's cuz women won't ask for a raise the way men do. Susan Orman said so.

abaya

I don't see this as a very accurate list. Half of these stereotypes apply more to me than they do to my own husband... and the stereotypes about women don't apply to me at all ($5000 on a wedding dress?! I've never met anyone who spent anywhere close to that much.)

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

dlish

yeah true abaya.. she-lish spent 1500 aussie dollars on hers way back when..and i spent 120.

the list is very accurate and no stereotypes exist whatsoever

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

MSD

The pay difference is because a lot of older women in the workforce started when it wasn't as common for women to go to college. Add to that the fact that taking a few years off to raise kids is something women do that men don't (anyone who stops working for years at a time is going to be set back and make less than someone who continued working) and you have an explanation for the discrepancy.

Ourcrazymodern?

Scoffing might help. Addittional dependancy will never.
(Let's hope XY recognizes what it does.)
((Hell, I'm sweating in the bathtub))
{Don't throw the baby out!}

777

I know, and Susan said that she took that into account during an interview on The View last winter. A lot of women survey felt that if they deserved a raise, it would be given to them. The boss, on the other hand, would save the company countless thousands by not giving better pay unless someone is confident enough to ask for one. So if anyone has been giving their best effort at the office, and you feel that you deserve more than what you have, have your 'Why I should have a raise speech' ready

mixedmedia

I'll be sure to remind every hopeless, angst-ridden, sorry son of a bitch I've ever known how much more he has to be happy about than me.

Now this makes me happy.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

telekinetic

At the companies I'm familiar with, women engineers make more than men...at least initially.

Also, I spent more on the suit I got married in than we spent on my wife's dress.

jorgelito

Best response post!! It's good to see you so passionate dlish!

__________________
"The race is not always to the swift, nor battle to the strong, but
to the one that endures to the end."

"Demand more from yourself, more than anyone else could ever ask!"

- My recruiter

mixedsubstance

I didn't intend for people to take my post seriously. It was an email I received and I got a kick out of it. I know a lot of it is not fully true, but it's still funny to laugh at the potential sterotype of it all. But I also got a great laugh at some of your posts too. Especially dlish who took the time to give a rebuttal to each reason.

__________________
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

Dorp

Men are always more mentally ill and depressed than women. It's why we all drink, smoke, do drugs, do reckless things, and endless other unhealthy coping mechanisms more so than the women ever will. I've always thought this is why we die so soon compared to women.

LoganSnake

No. Men die before women because they want to.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

ItWasMe

No. Men die before women because women want them to.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

Vigilante

I agree with the previous 3.

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We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

Milnoc

Shave?

LoganSnake

You would like to think that.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques