kate jack

Do you feel like you sowed your oats (sexually speaking) sufficiently before you settled down? Or do you wish you'd done more...had more...tried more...before you committed?

I sowed plenty. Few regrets, no wish to go back.

Milkyway

I did some sowing, but I don't know that I am done.

My hubby is much more conservative about sex than I am, but I think we may open things up before all is said and done.

And I have few regrets, I made a couple stupid mistakes that caused long term affects, but hey, that's life. (I miss my JCC.) And no you are not supposed to get that, just one of my regrets.

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Yes you can get off on the same sexual experience for 24 full hours!!!!!

FlatLand Flyer

No. The wife is the only woman I have ever been with in any way. I love her, but I do regret never getting to know what it would be like with another woman.

Bill O'Rights

I sowed enough oats to have supported the U.S. 7th Cavalry. (pre Little Big Horn)

Done more...had more...tried more? Nah. I have a pretty "colorful" past to look back and reminisce upon. Good times, strange times, wild times. And while I may enjoy looking back on them, from time to time, I have no desire to relive them.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Poppinjay

No way. I wouldn't even go for so-called NSA sowing. People always expect a call the next day, or at least a hand up afterwards. I'm trying to figure out how to build character and become more mature. Like an adult, sort of.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

ratbastid

I've sowed way more oats since settling down than I did before settling down.

Lasereth

I didn't before I got married and I wish I did. Only been with 1 girl.

Tully Mars

No, but I'm currently working on it.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Redlemon

I sowed very little, but that's my personality. I don't think I would have found the woman I have now if I'd been the type to sow indiscriminately, and for her I am quite thankful.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Poppinjay

I'm in the same situation. I was never big on oats sowery. I stopped a relationship once because it seemed to much like Jerry Springer.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

snowy

Yes, absolutely. I have some wild, crazy times to look back on, but I didn't go overboard either--just enough adventure to be more than satisfied with what I have now.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

World's King

I don't think I even need to answer this for you all to know that I have...



Now I'm looking to settle down. Again.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Baraka_Guru

In a word: no.

I held onto my oats. I think I'll gradually sow them over the next forty or fifty years....

Still a lot of oats in me, yes....

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Dano069

I certainly did NOT sow my oats. I'd have loved to be more sexually experienced before I got married. I'd only been with two women before getting married, and one of them was my wife. At least I was smart enough to learn from my mistakes. We'll be celebrating 25 years of marriage this year. Still, it would have been fun to play the field more when I was single. Make that play the field at all. I missed so many signals. Damned shy disposition!

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I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

little_tippler

I haven't settled down yet so I hope to sow some more before that happens. If it ever does. I haven't sowed many so far...but I'm not worried about that. I know what I like. Now I just want more of it!

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Meditrina

There are many aspects of my life that I wish I had done differently. Sex is one of them. I was with a few men before my husband, none of them memorable. I wish I had been more outgoing overall, I wish I would have experimented more, learned more, experienced more...... maybe things would be different now. But they say "hindsight is 20-20". I have been trying not to look back and regret. But move forward and learn.

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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

fresnelly

Not in indiscriminate fashion, but there were definitely some missed opportunities that I regret not having the confidence to go for.

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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

Poppinjay

One thing I've never understood is the idea that more partners makes one more "experienced". Ballroom teachers also follow this rule. I think the more you stick with one person, the better you get at responding to each other.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Herk

Wow, I'm surprised to see others in my boat here. I've only been with one woman. My wife and I were each other's firsts. I know this sounds cute and all, but we both regret it.

We got married at 18. We've been married 8 years, and something has gone awry. The situation is to difficult for me to analyze but having not had sex with any women, coupled with having a wife that isn't very sexual, and that fact the she has increased that number since our marriage doesn't help things. When we got married to about our 3rd year we were one of a kind. Never fought at all. Seemed destined to be together forever, but these days that is always in question. What is keeping us together may just be that we have a kid and that we've only ever been adults with each other, so we've come to rely on one another. We still love each other to death, but just as most other marriages it seems to be wearing out. Such bullshit how difficult it is to recover from marital problems big or small.

...ah I digress. Don't mean to threadjack.

Anyway, I definitely did not sow enough(any) seeds. This has caused some serious trauma in a couple of ways.

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-Blind faith runs into things!-

Jenna

Honestly, no.

Tully Mars

*Sigh*

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

genuinegirly

Yes. We'll see how I feel in 10 years, Tt and I have only been married a month, but I definitely feel I had enough fun while I was unattached to give me enough crazy, happy, lustful memories to last a lifetime.

Never thought I would sow any seeds until I was ~21. But then, as I started sowing seeds I was able to look back at my former dating life, and realized I had quite a few more experiences than I realized. I sowed some more, then decided to settle down after I had spent a few years with that extra special stable someone. To have so many special memories and crazy relationships behind me, I'm pretty happy.

Looking at the facts, he has "been" with more women than I have "been" with men. But I have had several deep, lusty relationships that focused more on mental connections than physical. I hope Tt doesn't have any regrets. He doesn't seem to.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Bear Cub

Same here.

I've slept with a few girls, but have done waaaaay more with my S.O. than I ever would have tried with the other girls, for fear of legal ramifications.

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Living in the United Socialist States of America.

abaya

I feel the same way... not that I wouldn't have found ktspktsp if I had sowed more oats, but I wouldn't have been in the right place to appreciate him, if I had. I was also pretty repelled by people who sowed a lot of oats, so if he had been one of those types, I don't think I would have paid much attention to him, either.

Basically, we were attracted to each other as what we were, lack of experience included--no pretense of trying to be more than that. And I truly loved that being the foundation of our relationship. We're more like the ballroom dancers that Poppinjay mentioned than the oats-sowing types, which is part of our compatibility. Not to say that we wouldn't explore more of our sexuality as a couple as the years go on--but we're not banking on it, necessarily.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

loquitur

no I didn't, but there's not a blasted thing to be done about it now anyway.

RedSabre

I don't. My wife was my first, while she had a few partners before me.

I have some regrets about that, but they have lessened as time has gone on. At first I always felt I was missing out, only knowing how it was with her. I always wanted to know how I compared to her previous romps as well, but even that didn't really matter because I couldn't put her response in meaningful context.

Now I really don't mind. We're happy. Honestly I was too shy anyways. It's not like I made a move on anyone else before her. Well, any move that went well. The only reason I have regret is just pure curiosity.

Cernunnos

No, and this was the primary issue that destroyed my two-year long distance relationship (hadn't even met in person), which ended around a month ago. I was 18 when we became a couple, 20 now, which means I haven't so much as kissed a girl during my adult life.

There are ugly details which I won't disclose unless asked about.

blahblah454

Haven't hardly sowed any. All high school I was too busy having fun and enjoying myself to worry about women. After I graduated I still wasn't too interested in women, too busy biking and hiking. Then after a while I met a girl I really liked, she wouldn't get tested before we did anything and i knew she had been around, she ended up sucking my friends dick and then we broke up.

Eventually started dating my best friend, for about 3 years we were together. We had lots of sex, but man was I ever green.

Now I am 23, single, and have only ever been with one girl. So no, I have not really sowed any oats. Do I plan on it? Probably not, I imagine I will be with few more women in my life, but I am not one to just sleep with people that I don't know really well.

ratbastid

blah, my friend, you and I have different definitions of the terms "fun" and "enjoying myself".

blahblah454

Haha, yes sex with women, and chasing women is fun. Don't get me wrong, I went to lots of parties and made out with a lot of girls, lots of them. But I never wanted to take it any further than that.

niccoli

Wish I had more than I did, have only been with 2 women in my life. My Wife is great, don't get me wrong but I always wish I had been with a few more women. Oddly enough my Wife has mentioned that she wishes I had been with a few more people at times.

SugahBritches

Heh. That's me.

I've had different kinds of sex and isn't it all about having much sex anyway?

Sultana

This is very sweet.

I didn't sow ANY oats before my marriage, and now that I'm single I have the opportunity--and I really don't use it! I like guys, I love sex, but I tend to have high standards with whom I share my bod with, and I'm afraid of getting STDs.

I also seem to have a tendency to overthink things (No! Not Sultana!), and that's a big inhibitor.

Hmmm, maybe a change is in the wind.

I don't really have the desire to sow just because I can, though. I want to sow when the real, true desire/chemistry/opportunity presents itself, and frankly, I haven't been strongly physically attracted to many guys this past year. Yeah, I know that's in my head, not my pants. Oh well, I refuse to force things.

:P

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Kaimi

I will not "settle down" until I reach that point personally. I am most definitely not ready.

ASU2003

I have never felt like I need to sow my oats in a bunch of different girls. I would be happy just sowing my oats in one girl consistently.

djscience

I haven't settled down, but I do feel like my oats are not being sufficiently sowed every once and again. I usually find myself in long-term relationships. No real explanation for that, it just is (how zen).

The best advice ever, is what I got from my father. He got himself caught in a hell of a marriage at age 23, and wasn't able to get out of it until 28 or so. He said "Son - I want you to have slept with more women than your current age before you get married".

Yeah - I've fallen a little behind

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"To crave for happiness in this world is simply to be possessed by a spirit of revolt."
-Henrik Ibsen

fro2020

two words:

hell, no

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I'm not prejudiced...I hate everyone equally.

abaya

And that's really just fine. It takes all types... some have an urgent need to sow oats (and I think they should, so it doesn't get bottled up over the years as it seems to for many people here), and others don't. As I said before, I'm in the non-sowing category, and I feel most comfortable there.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Godagesil

Well, I thought I had. I estimate I have known upwards of 60 women, been married four times. None of the divorces were for infidelity. Each time I thought she was a keeper. At 53 I find I still like to look. Third wife was very open so long as she controlled the situation. She would pick women out for me and either bring them home or allow me to pick them up. We tried swapping once, but that didn't sit well with either of us. Menage a tois I've had three. I think the fidelity gene is more hard coded in some people than others. I love my wife, she's a gorgeous former model that is 53 but looks 30. But for some reason I still like looking at other women.