first post here - my experience of just getting back into "the game" after 7 years - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

newman301 · 03-10-2008, 06:43 AM

-Long post warning. I have a lot to say-

Hey how's everyone doing? I actually came across this forum while doing google searches on how to pick up girls, lol (I know I'm a dork, but please read on). I found this one super long thread by this guy who calls himself 'plan9', and I spent an hour or two reading most of his posts.

The thing is that I'm 25 years (wait, no 26 I just had a birthday), and I just broke up with my one and only long-term girlfriend. We were going out for almost 7 years. I had some one-night-stands with chicks before her, but I've basically never been in the dating scene since I've been in this exclusive relationship for so long. My ex and I were actually engaged, but I started going crazy in my head knowing that I would never experience the fun of picking up random girls if I were to get married, so I had to call off the engagement. The urges were too strong, and I knew the marriage wasn't going to work since I felt that way.

So it's been about a month since I've been single, and I'm having a blast! I haven't brought any cuties back home yet, but I've managed to hook up with 2 girls so far. The only thing that sucked about the two girls I got with was that it had nothing to do with self-confidence and approaching women on my own. I actualy hooked up with the first one because my buddies girlfriend hooked my up with some random girl at a bar, so that was the icebreaker. I was also drunk, so grinding and going in for a kiss was easy. The 2nd girl I met at party, and she was wasted. We made eye contact for a few seconds, and the next thing you know we're making out. It was kinda crazy if you ask me.

So I hooked up with 2 chicks (I kind of regret not getting the first one's number, she was really hot!), but I've came to the realization that I don't yet have 'picking up skills' so I can get a girl whenever I want. So, considering I'm kind of an analytical guy, I started doing some internet browsing, and I came across this site, and a few other sites about the 'theory' behind picking up women. I read all about the PUA's and AFC's and all that crap, and I found it pretty interesting. I'm sure some of you are familiar with these terms.

Well I'm a pretty damn cool guy when I'm just chilling with my friends, and the female friends (just friends) that I already have think I'm pretty cool too. It's just that when it comes to approaching random hot girls that I don't know, I usually get really nervous, and I can't seem to play it cool.

Well in this past month I've spent a lot of time thinking about this 'problem' of mine, and I decided that I was going to fix it. This weekend that just past was a huge step in the right direction for me. First, I had to conquer my fear. My fear wasn't of rejection, but it was of approaching random pretty girls and having absolutely nothing to say and making a dumbass out of myself.

Friday night: I said "f*** it" in order to overcome my fear, I have to meet it face to face. I waited all night, and after I had enough liquid confidence in me (I wasn't drunk enough to completely not give a s***. I was still thinking logically), I decided to walk up to two super hot girls. Here's how the conversation went, it was hilarious:

Me: Hey how's it goin?
Girls: Good, how about yourself?
Me: I'm good.....So....What are you guys up to? (yup it's bad)
Girls: Um....Nothing, just hanging out
Me: Yup...Me too...(My mind went blank)
Me: So......You guys like this band? (desparately trying to redeem myself)
Girls: Ya, they're not bad..
Me: Cool.......(nods my head in a dorky way as I walk away from a terribly embarassing crash and burn).

Mission complete! I faced my fear, and I did exactly what I was afraid of doing. I walked up to hot girls, and made an ass out of myself, and you know what? It wasn't that bad. I walked back over to my friends who observed the whole thing, and they were laughing. "What the hell happened?" They said. "You looked confident as hell, but then you just lost it". I laughed it off, and said, "Yup I needed to do that."

Saturday night: Goal - stop being a p***y

Me and my buddy decided to go out to a bar to see this band and also look for some girls. I told him about the funny story from the night before, and we laughed about it. Once we get to the bar, we start scoping out the scene to find hot single girls. We realize that 2 are standing right next to us, so we move a bit closer to them. Neither one of us talked to them, and they ended up getting hit on by some other guys.

While that happened though, I started to have an epiphany. I realized and started to think, "What's the absolute worst that can happen? The girl will ignore me? The girl won't get with me? Do I really give a f***? If worst comes to worst, I'll show my buddy that I have more balls then him to approach super hot girls."

So I had my eye on this one gorgeous girl who had her lip pierced, and she looked very intimidating. I said to my buddy, "I'm gonna go talk to that one, lets go sit at the table next to her." After we moved closer to her, I waited a minute or two, and taped her on the shoulder, I was sitting kind of behind her but not face-to-face:

Me: Hey did that lip piercing hurt
Her: Nah, not as much as my nipple piercings
Me: Ya, I would imagine that that would hurt a little bit

*she continues to talk to her friends*
*I tap her on the shoulder again*

Me: So....this band's not bad huh? They play a lot of Pearl Jam. Do you know what their name is?
Her: Ya they're not bad, I'm not sure what their name is.
Me: Ya, they rock.
Her: (rolls eyes, and continues to talk to her friend)

*I'm thinking, "okay, this girl is overpowering me, and I'm looking like a b****. F*** that" *
*I move out of my seat, and go sit at the table where she's at with all her friends*

Me: (looking her directly in the eye very confidently) "Are you guys hanging out here for a while?"
Her: (smiling, and thrown off guard a little bit because my attitude completely changed) "Maybe, hehehe"
Me: Well, why don't you and your friend come hang out with me and my boy over at that table?
Her: I would, but I just buried my ex-fiancee yesterday

(wow, I definately wasn't expecting that. I don't think someone would make that up to blow me off, but I knew that I had to move on after that).

Me: Wow, I'm very very sorry to hear that. You have a good night, it was nice meeting you.

So, I didn't crash and burn, and in fact, I was super confident with who I thought was the prettiest girl in the place. I didn't get her number obviously, but I talked to her. After that encounter, everything fell right into place. I didn't give a s*** about what any hot girls thought about me (I didn't turn into an ass or anything, but I just grew a pair to approach any girl I wanted).

After that, I ended up talking to 4 other extremely hot girls. I didn't manage to get any numbers, but I did manage to strike up some very good conversations that I took control of, and I made the girls laugh at everything I had to say. The one turned out to be much older then me, and in a relationship (True or not? I didn't care, my goal wasn't to get laid). Another one turned out to be there with her fiancee (Damn, I have to remember to look at the fingers). Another one wasn't really interested in me, and she just kind of gave a bitchy attitude (f*** her, she's not cool enough for me anyway.)

And that was my weekend. Did I get any numbers? Nope. But did I accomplish my two goals for the weekend, face my fear and stop being afraid of hot girls, and stop being a p****? Damn right I did.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like a new man. I now decided that I don't care what girls think of me, and I'm going to talk to whoever I want to whenever I want to (I'll admit I'm still not 100% confident yet without the aid of a little liquid courage, but I'm on my way). Once I'm like Joey from friends (lol), I'll be how I want to be. You know, have the ability to talk to girls in any type of environment, anywhere? That's the ulimate goal. I'm definately on my way.

So if you made it all the way to here, thanks for reading it. Any comments you guys have would be awsome to read. Later!

Kaimi · 03-10-2008, 03:03 PM

When it comes down to it you have little to worry about. It is learning to realize that which is the real challenge. Worse comes to worse you will never see the female again, big deal right? You seem respectful enough, it will happen in time.

newman301 · 03-10-2008, 03:09 PM

Nah, if I ever did see the first chick again, I'd hit on her again in a heartbeat, lol. She was hot, and she had pierced nipples! I was just proud of the fact that I was able to talk to 4 smokin hot girls and feel 100% completely confident about it. Now, I just have to work on building up some non-liquid confidence.

ruggerp11 · 03-11-2008, 08:02 AM

See this is what people should read instead of that pickup artist crap. Just say hi, be confident and go where the conversation takes you. The only line I've ever needed in my life was "Hello." I've done pretty well with that!

newman301 · 03-11-2008, 11:25 AM

HAHA, ya some of that pickup artist stuff is pretty in-depth with all the 'theory' and stuff. But some of it is true as hell, and I learned a lot from it. Basically, girls are looking for a guy that's not a p***y and are going to go up and talk to them like another human being. They also want a guy who has his own opinions and thoughts and doesn't just agree with everything she says. Basically they want someone who's gonna go talk to them, show some interest, but don't kiss their ass.

In my old days, I had no idea about any of that stuff. I actually knew nothing about girls, because I was always real nice to them (in a way that is not attractive to them). It's just nice as hell to be single again!

ruggerp11 · 03-12-2008, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newman301

HAHA, ya some of that pickup artist stuff is pretty in-depth with all the 'theory' and stuff. But some of it is true as hell, and I learned a lot from it. Basically, girls are looking for a guy that's not a p***y and are going to go up and talk to them like another human being. They also want a guy who has his own opinions and thoughts and doesn't just agree with everything she says. Basically they want someone who's gonna go talk to them, show some interest, but don't kiss their ass.

In my old days, I had no idea about any of that stuff. I actually knew nothing about girls, because I was always real nice to them (in a way that is not attractive to them). It's just nice as hell to be single again!

What you said about the pickup artist stuff is exactly what I"m getting at. Be a man, have confidence and be your self. There, I passed the class haha.

The Nightfly · 04-10-2008, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruggerp11

What you said about the pickup artist stuff is exactly what I"m getting at. Be a man, have confidence and be your self. There, I passed the class haha.

True, but it took reading 'The Game' and looking into a little bit of 'PUA literature' for me to realise how simple the answer is. Before I'd got half way through that book it was blindingly obvious where I was going wrong, and I realised I'd been consciously suppressing the kind of behaviour that it teaches since I was 14 (I'm 21 now). Before reading the book I'd just try to be as nice as possible to girls and try to be the perfect match for them, offering to help them in all kinds of ways, trying to win their approval, then I'd wonder why I ended up with them as a best friend and nothing more.

I started University and went an entire semester with absolutely no girl action whatsoever, then read 'the game' over Christmas and made out with a girl on my first night back, and things have just got better for me from there onwards.

I never use any 'techniques' or stuff I learnt in any PUA material. If anything, it just demonstrated the basics of human interraction, and showed me (like you said) that coming accross genuine, confident, funny and in control the situation will make you very attractive to girls.

robot_parade · 04-10-2008, 08:25 PM

It sounds like you've already figured out the basics. Confidence, being ok with rejection...

What's your goal? Just to have fun and screw around with some cute girls? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Nisses · 04-14-2008, 03:18 AM

Kudos to you on being smart and analytical and actually coming to a good conclusion. All those scenarios and other bull in those plans may or may not work, but I never felt comfortable droning up a lesson in front of somebody.

Seems like you took the first step to solve your "issue", went through with it and were still true to yourself.

/takes off his hat for newman.

03-10-2008, 06:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
newman301 Upright	first post here - my experience of just getting back into "the game" after 7 years -Long post warning. I have a lot to say- Hey how's everyone doing? I actually came across this forum while doing google searches on how to pick up girls, lol (I know I'm a dork, but please read on). I found this one super long thread by this guy who calls himself 'plan9', and I spent an hour or two reading most of his posts. The thing is that I'm 25 years (wait, no 26 I just had a birthday), and I just broke up with my one and only long-term girlfriend. We were going out for almost 7 years. I had some one-night-stands with chicks before her, but I've basically never been in the dating scene since I've been in this exclusive relationship for so long. My ex and I were actually engaged, but I started going crazy in my head knowing that I would never experience the fun of picking up random girls if I were to get married, so I had to call off the engagement. The urges were too strong, and I knew the marriage wasn't going to work since I felt that way. So it's been about a month since I've been single, and I'm having a blast! I haven't brought any cuties back home yet, but I've managed to hook up with 2 girls so far. The only thing that sucked about the two girls I got with was that it had nothing to do with self-confidence and approaching women on my own. I actualy hooked up with the first one because my buddies girlfriend hooked my up with some random girl at a bar, so that was the icebreaker. I was also drunk, so grinding and going in for a kiss was easy. The 2nd girl I met at party, and she was wasted. We made eye contact for a few seconds, and the next thing you know we're making out. It was kinda crazy if you ask me. So I hooked up with 2 chicks (I kind of regret not getting the first one's number, she was really hot!), but I've came to the realization that I don't yet have 'picking up skills' so I can get a girl whenever I want. So, considering I'm kind of an analytical guy, I started doing some internet browsing, and I came across this site, and a few other sites about the 'theory' behind picking up women. I read all about the PUA's and AFC's and all that crap, and I found it pretty interesting. I'm sure some of you are familiar with these terms. Well I'm a pretty damn cool guy when I'm just chilling with my friends, and the female friends (just friends) that I already have think I'm pretty cool too. It's just that when it comes to approaching random hot girls that I don't know, I usually get really nervous, and I can't seem to play it cool. Well in this past month I've spent a lot of time thinking about this 'problem' of mine, and I decided that I was going to fix it. This weekend that just past was a huge step in the right direction for me. First, I had to conquer my fear. My fear wasn't of rejection, but it was of approaching random pretty girls and having absolutely nothing to say and making a dumbass out of myself. Friday night: I said "f* it" in order to overcome my fear, I have to meet it face to face. I waited all night, and after I had enough liquid confidence in me (I wasn't drunk enough to completely not give a s. I was still thinking logically), I decided to walk up to two super hot girls. Here's how the conversation went, it was hilarious: Me: Hey how's it goin? Girls: Good, how about yourself? Me: I'm good.....So....What are you guys up to? (yup it's bad) Girls: Um....Nothing, just hanging out Me: Yup...Me too...(My mind went blank) Me: So......You guys like this band? (desparately trying to redeem myself) Girls: Ya, they're not bad.. Me: Cool.......(nods my head in a dorky way as I walk away from a terribly embarassing crash and burn). Mission complete! I faced my fear, and I did exactly what I was afraid of doing. I walked up to hot girls, and made an ass out of myself, and you know what? It wasn't that bad. I walked back over to my friends who observed the whole thing, and they were laughing. "What the hell happened?" They said. "You looked confident as hell, but then you just lost it". I laughed it off, and said, "Yup I needed to do that." Saturday night: Goal - stop being a py Me and my buddy decided to go out to a bar to see this band and also look for some girls. I told him about the funny story from the night before, and we laughed about it. Once we get to the bar, we start scoping out the scene to find hot single girls. We realize that 2 are standing right next to us, so we move a bit closer to them. Neither one of us talked to them, and they ended up getting hit on by some other guys. While that happened though, I started to have an epiphany. I realized and started to think, "What's the absolute worst that can happen? The girl will ignore me? The girl won't get with me? Do I really give a f? If worst comes to worst, I'll show my buddy that I have more balls then him to approach super hot girls." So I had my eye on this one gorgeous girl who had her lip pierced, and she looked very intimidating. I said to my buddy, "I'm gonna go talk to that one, lets go sit at the table next to her." After we moved closer to her, I waited a minute or two, and taped her on the shoulder, I was sitting kind of behind her but not face-to-face: Me: Hey did that lip piercing hurt Her: Nah, not as much as my nipple piercings Me: Ya, I would imagine that that would hurt a little bit she continues to talk to her friends* I tap her on the shoulder again Me: So....this band's not bad huh? They play a lot of Pearl Jam. Do you know what their name is? Her: Ya they're not bad, I'm not sure what their name is. Me: Ya, they rock. Her: (rolls eyes, and continues to talk to her friend) I'm thinking, "okay, this girl is overpowering me, and I'm looking like a b*. F* that" * I move out of my seat, and go sit at the table where she's at with all her friends Me: (looking her directly in the eye very confidently) "Are you guys hanging out here for a while?" Her: (smiling, and thrown off guard a little bit because my attitude completely changed) "Maybe, hehehe" Me: Well, why don't you and your friend come hang out with me and my boy over at that table? Her: I would, but I just buried my ex-fiancee yesterday (wow, I definately wasn't expecting that. I don't think someone would make that up to blow me off, but I knew that I had to move on after that). Me: Wow, I'm very very sorry to hear that. You have a good night, it was nice meeting you. So, I didn't crash and burn, and in fact, I was super confident with who I thought was the prettiest girl in the place. I didn't get her number obviously, but I talked to her. After that encounter, everything fell right into place. I didn't give a s* about what any hot girls thought about me (I didn't turn into an ass or anything, but I just grew a pair to approach any girl I wanted). After that, I ended up talking to 4 other extremely hot girls. I didn't manage to get any numbers, but I did manage to strike up some very good conversations that I took control of, and I made the girls laugh at everything I had to say. The one turned out to be much older then me, and in a relationship (True or not? I didn't care, my goal wasn't to get laid). Another one turned out to be there with her fiancee (Damn, I have to remember to look at the fingers). Another one wasn't really interested in me, and she just kind of gave a bitchy attitude (f* her, she's not cool enough for me anyway.) And that was my weekend. Did I get any numbers? Nope. But did I accomplish my two goals for the weekend, face my fear and stop being afraid of hot girls, and stop being a p****? Damn right I did. I woke up Sunday morning feeling like a new man. I now decided that I don't care what girls think of me, and I'm going to talk to whoever I want to whenever I want to (I'll admit I'm still not 100% confident yet without the aid of a little liquid courage, but I'm on my way). Once I'm like Joey from friends (lol), I'll be how I want to be. You know, have the ability to talk to girls in any type of environment, anywhere? That's the ulimate goal. I'm definately on my way. So if you made it all the way to here, thanks for reading it. Any comments you guys have would be awsome to read. Later!

03-11-2008, 08:02 AM	#4 (permalink)
ruggerp11 Cautiously soaring Location: exploring my new home in SF	See this is what people should read instead of that pickup artist crap. Just say hi, be confident and go where the conversation takes you. The only line I've ever needed in my life was "Hello." I've done pretty well with that! __________________ Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. --Mark Twain Do What makes you happy --Me BUT! "Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

04-14-2008, 03:18 AM	#9 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	Kudos to you on being smart and analytical and actually coming to a good conclusion. All those scenarios and other bull in those plans may or may not work, but I never felt comfortable droning up a lesson in front of somebody. Seems like you took the first step to solve your "issue", went through with it and were still true to yourself. /takes off his hat for newman. __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

03-10-2008, 03:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kaimi Crazy	When it comes down to it you have little to worry about. It is learning to realize that which is the real challenge. Worse comes to worse you will never see the female again, big deal right? You seem respectful enough, it will happen in time.

03-10-2008, 03:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
newman301 Upright	Nah, if I ever did see the first chick again, I'd hit on her again in a heartbeat, lol. She was hot, and she had pierced nipples! I was just proud of the fact that I was able to talk to 4 smokin hot girls and feel 100% completely confident about it. Now, I just have to work on building up some non-liquid confidence.

03-11-2008, 11:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
newman301 Upright	HAHA, ya some of that pickup artist stuff is pretty in-depth with all the 'theory' and stuff. But some of it is true as hell, and I learned a lot from it. Basically, girls are looking for a guy that's not a p***y and are going to go up and talk to them like another human being. They also want a guy who has his own opinions and thoughts and doesn't just agree with everything she says. Basically they want someone who's gonna go talk to them, show some interest, but don't kiss their ass. In my old days, I had no idea about any of that stuff. I actually knew nothing about girls, because I was always real nice to them (in a way that is not attractive to them). It's just nice as hell to be single again!

04-10-2008, 08:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
robot_parade Junkie Location: San Antonio, TX	It sounds like you've already figured out the basics. Confidence, being ok with rejection... What's your goal? Just to have fun and screw around with some cute girls? Not that there's anything wrong with that.