08-04-2003, 12:18 AM | #87 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: cleveland, OH
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I have a relationship kind of like this.
And old girlfriend and I agree that nothing will really develop between us but we are still very comfortable with each other. My only rule has been that we dont do it when either of us is dating someone
__________________
He is, moreover, a frequent drunkard, a glutton, and a patron of ladies who are no better than they should be. |
08-18-2003, 09:00 AM | #88 (permalink) |
Upright
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Yah, I had a friend of my girlfriend, one day she called me up randomly on the phone, we always joked around and flirted, she simply said if I come over there right now will you F*** the S*** out of me? and I said ha ha, right, your joking, and she said "yah" but she said it a little sad, so I said, wait, no your not, then BAM, she came over and the rest is history
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08-18-2003, 09:49 AM | #89 (permalink) | |
Loser
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Quote:
The trick is to go into it with a summer camp mentality: you go, you have fun while you're there, and then everybody goes home like they knew they would. It can be very nice. |
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09-04-2004, 06:51 PM | #90 (permalink) |
Tilted
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I have an FB. We're great friends before that and have had a relationship many years back, although she's technically not an ex. We love and care for each other, but also always been attracted to each other. We should have ended up together if not for the misunderstandings and miscommunications along the way, but thats a story for another day.
Both of us are attached now but a couple of months back, we met up and started talking about old times and old sex and we ended up sleeping with each other. It started as an open relationship and we talked about the kinky sex we'll have with each other. We both know that there's no future for us anyway. I guess we became FB's cause we liked each other, both in and out of bed. But it's not easy when you're also emotionally attracted to each other, and eventually we're thinking about each other more often than we should. Recently, she said that we must stop seeing each other this way cause she can't get back on track with her bf, and he's getting insecure. I agreed cause I can't be selfish either.. I can't offer any long term commitments. We reverted back to being good friends and was open about our respective relationships etc. It's great, but I don't know how long it will last before we end up in bed again. And each time it happens, it's going to be harder to turn back. FB's with good friends are great because it does take the friendship to a different level. It's can be be extremely satisfying but IMHO, it's probably also a short term gratification which could turn ugly. And of course I feel guilty and of course I wish I had the strength to stop it once and for all. For now, I'm going through the transition to good friends and I'm having breakfast with her this morning. We'll see how things work out over the next week or so |
09-04-2004, 07:36 PM | #91 (permalink) |
Insane
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I really liked this girl (in a more than friendly way) but she didnt return the sentiment. I continued to be friends with her, and we grew very close (friendwise) over the summer. she told me that I was a good guy, and was suprised that girls werent all over me. I asked if I was good, then why wouldnt she give me a shot? she said she didnt do relationships, so we became f*ck buddies. she told me that I could at no point get attatched to her. So I didnt. one day, we were lying in bed, and she told me she was in love with me. (that was a little more than a year ago, we've been together since then). so they apparenly exist, though my experience only lasted a couple of months before it turned into a relationship
(this started the summer after I graduated high school) |
09-04-2004, 07:45 PM | #93 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: BC, Canada
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I've had a couple. Kinda bizarre for one of them when we sat on the couch and discussed IF we should do it and how there was nothing wrong with it. Very honest and no games, which was nice. Sex in a relationship is better though.
There was a "Seinfeld" episode that made me laugh because Jerry and Elaine had just about the exact conversation when they discussed having non-strings sex just for fun. |
09-04-2004, 09:10 PM | #94 (permalink) |
Ella Bo Bella
Location: Australia
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As others have said, yes they do exist, but you need to make your terms completely clear at the beginning of the fuck buddy-ship. I had one for around 18 months on and off, and I told him right from the word go that I didn't want a relationship and just wanted someone to fuck and have the odd meal with. He was cool with that, then the silly bugger fell in love with me, which was really annoying.
I cooled it for a while, then at the beginning of this year, we hooked up again and the sex was even better than before. I still made it clear I didn't want a relationship and he was cool with that. Now he's found a real girlfriend (which is great for him, because he wanted a relationship), so we're still mates but no fucking. Funny....I miss him a bit...*shrug*
__________________
"Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure." |
10-02-2004, 01:32 AM | #95 (permalink) |
Tilted
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Today is not a good day.
My good friend, who was also sleeping with me, had told me earlier that we should stop seeing each other this way. She has someone abroad and don't feel all that right doing what we were doing. Well, I said OK, although we still get a little intimate whenever we meet up. Today I saw her holding hands with someone else. Sigh.. I knew someday she would break my heart. Was just wondering how and when. Looks like I got my answer. I shouldn't be surprised.. after all, she's done it before (10 year ago) and I know I'm not supposed to feel anything about it, but I am. I did want to have a purely good friend with benefits arrangement and if it had ended on mutual terms, I would have been happy that I had it anyway. What I don't get is why she's decided to hide this new relationship from me. After all, we are best of friends and she tells me everything. Or so I thought. I guess I'm pissed not because she was out with someone else, but that she's led me to believe that there was no one else but me and the other guy abroad. Oh well... it still sux. I wonder what she'll say to me in her defense? She doesn't need to, but I think she'll know that I'm hurt by it. There ya go.. another experience of how an FB relationship with a friend can be more than just good fun. Last edited by gentlesoul43; 10-02-2004 at 02:52 AM.. |
10-03-2004, 05:42 AM | #97 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Sydney Australia
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I used to have a buddy.
She were both in long term relationships at the time but needed something extra which our partners were not providing. I saw her on and off for about 18 mths, and the reason it worked was neither of us expected any more than a few laughs and some great sex. We ended things mutually when she decided to give things a 'proper go' with her partner. That's an important thing to discuss with your buddy, as circumstances change a lot when you are not sharing a normal committed relationship. I have no regrets, lots of wonderful memories, and an open mind to the idea should the situations arise again. I recommend it )) |
10-04-2004, 12:50 PM | #98 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Harlem
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I have a great fuck buddy but she ended up falling in love with me. It was a difficult situation to negotiate, but its working now. I havent fucked anyone else in a while. Havent felt the need. But the fact that I can is liberating. Its the best of both worlds.
__________________
I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me. |
10-04-2004, 05:04 PM | #100 (permalink) |
TFP Mad Scientist
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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I've never been to lucky as to have a fuck-buddy, so as far as I'm concerned this stuff is all urban legend until I see it happen to me. Seems to me like everyone else but me gets to enjoy these arrangements.
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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation |
10-04-2004, 07:04 PM | #101 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
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Had a F**k buddy. This girl and I had been friends for about a year. We were at a bar one night and she was telling me how hard it was to find someone to just hangout with. She said that she wasn't necessarliy looking for a relationship but really looking for someone to fool around with or have sex. Well, I had a few drinks so I offered my services. We had a verbal agreement that there would be no attachement because I was moving in a couple months. Mistake. She got attached. After I moved she asked me if we could continue some sort of relationship. Which I didn't really know if she was thinking on moving with me or not. Either way, I refused. I felt really bad about it, but we had a deal, I didn't let myself get attached. She understood. But there is no way I could ever do this again, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. We're still friends and talk often but I still feel kind of weird about the whole situation. Bottom line: I do not claim to understand women. But, at 28 yrs old, the only thing I do know is that men are much less emotional.
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10-04-2004, 08:49 PM | #102 (permalink) |
BFG Builder
Location: University of Maryland
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Right now I have a Friend With Benefits, but as a virgin I'm not sure if it'll turn into a Fuck Buddy situation. I may change this decision later on depending on how I feel about it, but for the moment it's pretty much everything but fucking.
The emotional thing is pretty hard to do, but possible. Just keep yourself objective, make sure communication is clear, and make sure you and your partner are on the same level.
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If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm. |
10-04-2004, 08:58 PM | #103 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: St. Louis, MO
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I tried this sort of relationship when I was a junior in high school, before I'd ever had a serious girlfriend. It was a relatively long-distance thing, we thought we'd just get together and do what we felt whenever one was in the other's town. It didn't work. I'm just too damn attractive, I guess. She was completely attached to me by round 2 and I had to cut it off because I didn't want a girlfriend, much less one that lived far away.
Of course, now that I'm with a woman I love exclusively and is very good about taking care of me, I don't need or want any 'friends with benefits'. I think that any sort of sexual act carries emotions with it that can't be ignored. I'm not trying it again.
__________________
The facehugger is short-lived outside the egg which normally protects it. Armed with a long grasping tail, a spray of highly-concentrated acid and the single-minded desire to impregnate a single selected prey using its extending probe, it will fearlessly pursue and attack a single selected target until it has succeeded in attachment or it or its target is dead |
10-29-2004, 11:03 PM | #104 (permalink) |
Upright
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Yeah i have 1 fuck buddy right now that i bang constantly, and a couple that just when they want can come over and get some. But yeah theyre around... friends that fuck are amazing.
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"When I stick this army man up my nose it tickles my brain! Hahahaha! OW! Now I don't know math..." -Chris Griffin "We can't stop here. This is bat country." Johnny Depp Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas |
10-31-2004, 12:54 AM | #105 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: down the street from Graceland
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My suspicion, and this thread seems to support it, is that many more guys than gals are willing to consider another as a FB.
I don't think that it's just a social stigma thing, that is, girls not wanting to be perceived as "that kind of girl." I believe that it gets down a lot closer to the chemical makeup of the sexes. On the whole, guys do not have as strong of an urge to make a permanent bond as girls do. Be it the primal need to care for offspring, or what ever, it's there. Likewise, guys, on the whole, are a lot more interested in casual and non comitial relationships. The results are the same as they have always been, Guys feign more commitment than they actually feel, girls sometimes pretend to have less interest in a relationship than is really there. But to answer your question, yes, they do exist but more often in the mind of the guy. You find very few girls who explain a guy as “oh, he’s just a guy that I sleep with sometimes.”
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[Insert pithy comment here] |
10-31-2004, 05:15 AM | #106 (permalink) |
Upright
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in my experience w/ several f*ck buddies it seems at some point after you have been buddies for a while one of you wants it to be more(in my experience it has been the girl) and that usually messes it up.
the best f*ck buddy i ever had was dating a guy who took her out to dinner and bought her flowers but didn't bang her right so she would come visit me (maybe that isn't a f*ck buddy but it was great) |
10-31-2004, 09:41 AM | #107 (permalink) |
Tilted
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Sure seem to be Urban Legend in my case...I can't seem to find one. However, if there are any women in the SF Bay Area that would like to change that....
But seriously, I know they do exsist, because I have several close friends in situations like that. They enjoy the non-commitment aspect of it.
__________________
I am doing some Bloggin' http://homepage.mac.com/penn42/iblog/index.html |
11-17-2004, 09:57 AM | #108 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: LOndon
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I have a fuck buddy. Its a very sexually free relationship,because its only about sex. So its quite dirty. we only meet because we fancy each other, no other reason. it really adds a lot to the sex. when he is doing things to me its because it turns him on, not because he loves me or wants to please me, and that makes me very horny. i feel more powerful after being with him,as though i am free to articulate what turns me on and express my horniness.
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11-17-2004, 06:12 PM | #110 (permalink) |
Upright
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For buddies who fuck
Yeah they exist, but they usually have sentimental attatchment wheather they say so or not. Its usually hard to get more than one cause they become jealouse of each other. A friend of mine went out of town for a week and his fuck buddy ended up screwing the first guy that came along.
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11-17-2004, 09:06 PM | #111 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: MA
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My best friend is a woman. We used to work together so dating/sex was out of the question, although I have always found her attractive. However, we no longer work together and are both between relationships. I think we both realize that we are not meant to date one another, but it is very hard to spend time together without me thinking of suggesting the fuck buddy scenario.
I know deep down that it would screw everything up friendship wise, but it is increasingly harder to keep my mind from going there. I think if we were'nt such good friends, the fuck buddy scenario would work. |
11-18-2004, 08:17 AM | #112 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: tallahassee...:(
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to me ftf means people that have sex without the ups and downs of a relationship: strickly sex. So yeah they do exist. I used have some girls around the college like that until i met my gf and now honestly i regret it.
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"The road to nowhere leads to me." "Some kind of.... Bubba Hotep" - Elvis |
11-18-2004, 09:01 AM | #113 (permalink) |
Canadian Beer Ambassador
Location: Cumming, GA
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Shoot.. I had about 8 fuck buddies in college. 3 of em lived together and would randomly show up together. I can't tell you the number of classes I missed because fuck buddies would show up, the number of times I would wake up with a woman in my bed when I went to bed alone....
GOD DAMN I miss college.
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Take Off Eh! |
11-18-2004, 11:41 AM | #114 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: In a forest of red tape (but hey, I have scissors)
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Yep, they exist. I had a few while I was in college. Absolutely no desire for them to get in a relationship, it was purely about sex. And no, I am not assuming that they didn't want anything more.
Perfect example, I met this girl at a party who was a friend of a friend. She was a salesperson for somebody (I can't remember who) and she lived in an apartment with another woman who was a city cop. Well, we went back to her apartment to imbibe a little more and ended up on the floor playing cards with her roommate. After about an hour of playing cards, she looked at me and asked if I would like to join them, as she was really horny and wanted to fuck her roommate. Never has a decision been made as rapidly as that one. What followed was a good year of no holds barred sex, with absolutely no expectation of a relationship. It got to the point that she gave me a key to the apartment and I could stop over whenever. If either were home (or better yet if they both were) fun times were to be had by all. The only thing that stopped it was I got engaged. Damn it..... |
11-18-2004, 01:03 PM | #115 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Michigan
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Yep...
Two for me in college.
Lived in a frat house, one gal was a local & stopped out to just basically hang out regularly. Got to know each other & just started having sex when our paths crossed. There was no talk of anything beyond the few minutes to few hours we shared depending on the night. Another one in college was a bartendress at the local watering hole my roomate & I frequented (they had 250 kinds of imported beer, when you drank them all you got a purple t-shirt that said "Hall Of Foam", a simple college conquest. At $3 per beer in 1990, I could have come up with better attire than a $7 t-shrit, oh well). Used to get together occasionally after class or work. Went in one night for the usual thing (beer & a burger, hoping for the usual thing afterwards), she introduced me to her fiancee' who was sitting next to me. I never talked to her after that, so I don't know if he knew what was going on or not... |
11-19-2004, 12:17 PM | #118 (permalink) |
Crazy
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You must be aware of the not so hidden danger of having a FB. I had one in university. We we just good friends who fooled around from time to time....
Next think I know we're married. At least this way it started with friendship, the sex just sealed the deal. |
11-19-2004, 12:23 PM | #119 (permalink) |
Upright
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Just an observation:
FB works well as an acronym for Fuck Buddy and Friend with Benefits! good thread all. I've had a couple, and it was just great. I was single, she had a boyfriend so I felt a bit guilty for a while since he seems like a nice guy. Cheers, Phil |
Tags |
buddies, fck, legend, urban |
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