05-26-2007, 12:36 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: California
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Is this wrong?
Right so, sometimes I have these weird thoughts. Like I have some really good friends that happen to be females. And I've had moments where I've pictured having sex with them. Not when I'm talking to them directly or anything, maybe when I'm talking to them online or happen to be thinking about something directly related to them. Then I make myself snap out of it. There are instances when one side of me says "Oh it's okay, go ahead and think about it. You know you wanna smash the heck out of her". And then another side of me says "Hey man that's not cool, how would she feel if she knew you were thinking about that". So yeah.
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"Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!" -San Francisco 49ers: Five Time Super Bowl Champions- |
05-26-2007, 01:01 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Australia
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Yeah, I've heard there's actually a condition for this called "Male Gender"
Dude I think it's pretty natural to have fantasies about your friends from time to time. But those thoughts are yours and no one else's. It's really up to you where you draw the line. Just remember, what you think and what you act on are different things, in this case, don't let the former start affecting the later.
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You are not a slave |
05-26-2007, 01:24 AM | #4 (permalink) | |
Tilted
Location: California
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Quote:
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"Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!" -San Francisco 49ers: Five Time Super Bowl Champions- |
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05-26-2007, 05:16 AM | #6 (permalink) |
Fancy
Location: Chicago
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What do you think fantasies are about?
What's different about fantasizing about a celebrity or a stranger? Just because you know a person doesn't mean they're off the fantasy list. In fact knowing a person makes it more likely because you know more about them and know how they may react. It's in your head and you don't have to share it if you don't want to. There are no mind reading devices created yet. When that happens, you can start worrying about your fantatsies and thoughts.
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Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company |
05-26-2007, 05:37 AM | #7 (permalink) |
Soylent Green is people.
Location: Northern California
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It's called "puberty" - welcome!
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"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi |
05-26-2007, 06:44 AM | #10 (permalink) |
Young Crumudgeon
Location: Canada
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Yeah, dude, I'll definitely raise my hand on this one too. I have some very platonic friends in my life who I'd love to play hide the sausage with. I've fantasized about doing it. The beauty of fantasy is that even if you know it could never actually happen, you can still think about it.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame |
05-26-2007, 07:13 AM | #11 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Doesn't this reinforce the fact that guys and girls can't truly be platonic friends?
I mean, when you go off and have such fantasies, sure, it may be normal, but this means that the girl is essentially lower on your ladder (ladder theory, i know, don't take it seriously).. |
05-26-2007, 07:47 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Falling Angel
Location: L.A. L.A. land
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Lower than what, your mother? Does it degrade a female or devalue one's friendship with them to fantasize about them?
I don't think so.
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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential. |
05-26-2007, 07:50 AM | #13 (permalink) |
TFPer formaly known as Chauncey
Location: North East
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Sure they can be platonic,
You make want to fuck one of your friends like a bucking banshy on christmas day then blow a load all over her face. That doesn't mean you cant be happy and comfortable going for a coffee at Starbucks and talking about Margeret thatcher and dwarves with 7 toes. Cmon. Its easy to have a platonic relationship, thats what makes thinking about them later on even better because then you know you never have to pay them alomony.
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~Esen What is everyone doing in my room? |
05-26-2007, 07:55 AM | #14 (permalink) |
I'll ask when I'm ready....
Location: Firmly in the middle....
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Dude, it happens. Period.
Heck, there's a goodly number of chicks at work that I would have had 8 ways from Sunday if thoughts became reality.
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"No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me- "Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown- DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer- |
05-27-2007, 01:11 PM | #16 (permalink) |
Please touch this.
Owner/Admin
Location: Manhattan
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You should be ashamed of yourself.
Why haven't you fucked one of them already?
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05-27-2007, 02:59 PM | #18 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Oh Canada!!
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I think it's totally normal. I've felt this way about a few of my friends boyfriends, but of course would have never done anything to act on the feelings.
I've had quite a few friendships with males, and I find at some point it tends to get tricky. In high school, my three best friends were males (they all lived together) and I thought it was great, hanging with the guys no bitching etc. Eventually they all started to like me and it got very complicated. They fought between themselves and then took it out on me. I didn't see them as anymore than friends and was in a steady long distance relationship. They really fucked with my head near the end of it all, making me feel like a bad person like I was doing something wrong being their friends etc. Now, I see them occassionally and two of them are cool, but the third still acts like I'm the she-devil. I think it had a big impact on my subconcious when it comes to guys and relationships. I think friendships between guys and girls are possible, but unfortunately it seems something always goes wrong at some point.
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I like things. And stuff. But I prefer to have things over stuff.
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05-27-2007, 04:38 PM | #19 (permalink) |
pigglet pigglet
Location: Locash
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i disagree with the whole 'harry met sally' angle going on here; i think it just takes a bit of perspective. wanting to fuck your female (or male, or whatever you're attracted to) friends isn't the problem; that's just natural. the problem is in how you deal with it. if it becomes a primary issue for you, then yeah - it's going to be a problem. because you're making it a problem. otherwise...i mean, that's what you're supposed to think about attractive women on a biological level. so either only hang out with women you find ugly, or learn to deal with the inevitable fact that you'll want to fuck them.
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style |
05-27-2007, 04:54 PM | #20 (permalink) |
Asshole
Administrator
Location: Chicago
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A good friend of mine once said, "What separates us from the animals is that we don't fuck every attractive female that walks down the street. That and the 14 lbs. composite bowling ball."
Springtime in Chicago means short skirts and tight tops downtown. I wear sunglasses when I go to lunch to keep the leering from being blantantly obvious. Most straight men do. I doubt I'll ever screw any of the ones I know, let alone any of the ones I don't. You're wired to want sex from those you find attractive. Embrace that.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo |
05-28-2007, 01:14 AM | #21 (permalink) |
Extreme moderation
Location: Kansas City, yo.
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"If it really were the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant."
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck) |
05-28-2007, 01:38 PM | #24 (permalink) |
pigglet pigglet
Location: Locash
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not unless they were tied up underneath your bed at the time...seriously, that's kind of up to you; i have a different set of thoughts about that...for me it depends on the friend. some of them would probably think it was great, some wouldn't. if they're close friends and i don't think they would like it (or in some cases they haven't told me they would like it) then i'll usually leave them out of the process, except for brief un-credited cameo roles.
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style |
05-28-2007, 05:03 PM | #26 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Australia
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Quote:
I can understand why the OP might feel the way he does. But it's a perfectly natural and normal thing. Although I just don't think they're thoughts that should be aired to the person you're having fantasies about.
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You are not a slave |
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05-28-2007, 08:25 PM | #27 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: Oh Canada!!
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Quote:
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I like things. And stuff. But I prefer to have things over stuff.
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05-29-2007, 12:48 PM | #29 (permalink) | |
Tilted
Location: California
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Quote:
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"Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!" -San Francisco 49ers: Five Time Super Bowl Champions- |
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06-05-2007, 11:57 PM | #31 (permalink) | |
Insensative Fuck.
Location: Boon towns of Ohio
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Wait, ashamed of wanting to fuck hot bitches? Noooo way brotha
(also I find it ironic that the massive majority of non-believers in the ladder theory are female)
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06-11-2007, 10:47 AM | #32 (permalink) |
I Confess a Shiver
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Hell, I wanna have sex with your friends and I don't even know them!
Also note: Oddly enough, my best friend is a lesbian. I think that her orientation helps us stay friends... otherwise we might screw like rabid badgers. Last edited by Plan9; 06-11-2007 at 10:48 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost |
06-11-2007, 11:04 AM | #33 (permalink) |
Banned
Location: The Cosmos
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There are no thought-police, think what you want. There is certainly nothing wrong with fantasizing about women youre good friends with. I think of pretty much all the women I've met (except family and 55+ yr olds) like that at least one time or another. Obviously though, don't actually tell your friends what youre doing.
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06-11-2007, 09:56 PM | #36 (permalink) |
The Reforms
Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
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very interesting indeed...
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