my girlfriend seems less interested, what do you.... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

sasassi · 06-10-2007, 06:38 AM

...suggest me to do?

Briefly, we've been together for a few months, we live in different states but so far everything is going great, we manage to catch up pretty often and we love each other.

however, maybe this is just my sensation... she started to act 'less' interested in me, standing on the decrease in sms's, and shorter phone calls.
Now, i know how to behave in these situations, not to have emotional overreactions or start to tell her to call me more often because this would just generate the opposite reaction.
I know that if she starts to understand i'm becoming needy, less self confident, then for sure her attraction will decrease drastically.
So i'm witnessing this decrease in sms's and phonecalls without knowing what to do beside acting self confident, normal and funny.
But it's pretty hard.

what do you guys recomend?
thank you!

purelife · 06-10-2007, 09:39 AM

well i am not sure was sms is... but anyway..

why not just talk to her about it? if you two really love each other like you say you do, there is no reason why you can ask her about this. Its only natural to discuss, especially if the change in her is noticeable. she may even be wondering why you havent said anything?

I would just ask, and make sure everything is okay with her. maybe something else it bothering her or on her mind.

you are her friend, right? a friend, no matter what the sexual relation, would try to understand their friend in any situation. so give her a call and have a conversation about it. thats what i would expect my boyfriend to do, or what i would do if i were in your situation...

let us know how it goes...

asaris · 06-10-2007, 01:07 PM

How long has this been going on, and what's going on in her life? It makes a big difference if she's taking finals, or doing something else stressful and time-consuming. If that's what's going on, I'd just wait until it's over. But if it's been going on more than a couple weeks, you might want to say something like "It seems like we talk less than we used to, and I miss that." It's entirely possible to do without sounding 'needy'.

And I should probably add that sometimes it's okay to sound needy. I'm away from my gf this summer, and about a week into it, I called a good friend of mine to talk about how lonely I was feeling. This good friend of mine basically said, "Well, I'm happy to listen to this and everything, but you should really call *her*." And she was right. Part of being in a relationship is being willing to admit you're needy.

World's King · 06-10-2007, 02:13 PM

It sounds like you pretty much know what to do already. Why are you asking us?

All in all... if she seems less interested in you... She is. And I'm no expert (I actually am) but it might have to do with the fact you live so far away from each other. Out of sight, out of mind. It's a huge possibility that she's found another man. Or she could just be really flighty... either way. Fuck it. Move on.

tenniels · 06-10-2007, 03:52 PM

Yeah usually when you start to get that feeling, there is a reason for it. Maybe she's just not that into you any more. I think our intuition is highly under used and should be trusted more often. I know I've felt this way before in a relationship, and everyone was like, oh no everything is fine. Well no, it wasn't and I was right. That being said it is quite possible she is distracted and has other things on her mind. Best thing to do would be have a really open and honest conversation with her about the whole situation. Let us know how things are going

BTW-What does "sms" stand for? Thanks.

asaris · 06-10-2007, 04:39 PM

Unless I'm mistaken, SMS = text message.

Sharon · 06-11-2007, 01:46 AM

SMS = short message service, or text messaging service

06-10-2007, 06:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
sasassi Upright	my girlfriend seems less interested, what do you.... ...suggest me to do? Briefly, we've been together for a few months, we live in different states but so far everything is going great, we manage to catch up pretty often and we love each other. however, maybe this is just my sensation... she started to act 'less' interested in me, standing on the decrease in sms's, and shorter phone calls. Now, i know how to behave in these situations, not to have emotional overreactions or start to tell her to call me more often because this would just generate the opposite reaction. I know that if she starts to understand i'm becoming needy, less self confident, then for sure her attraction will decrease drastically. So i'm witnessing this decrease in sms's and phonecalls without knowing what to do beside acting self confident, normal and funny. But it's pretty hard. what do you guys recomend? thank you!

06-10-2007, 01:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
asaris Mad Philosopher Location: Washington, DC	How long has this been going on, and what's going on in her life? It makes a big difference if she's taking finals, or doing something else stressful and time-consuming. If that's what's going on, I'd just wait until it's over. But if it's been going on more than a couple weeks, you might want to say something like "It seems like we talk less than we used to, and I miss that." It's entirely possible to do without sounding 'needy'. And I should probably add that sometimes it's okay to sound needy. I'm away from my gf this summer, and about a week into it, I called a good friend of mine to talk about how lonely I was feeling. This good friend of mine basically said, "Well, I'm happy to listen to this and everything, but you should really call her." And she was right. Part of being in a relationship is being willing to admit you're needy. __________________ "Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht." "The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

06-10-2007, 02:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	It sounds like you pretty much know what to do already. Why are you asking us? All in all... if she seems less interested in you... She is. And I'm no expert (I actually am) but it might have to do with the fact you live so far away from each other. Out of sight, out of mind. It's a huge possibility that she's found another man. Or she could just be really flighty... either way. Fuck it. Move on. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

06-10-2007, 03:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
tenniels Insane Location: Oh Canada!!	Yeah usually when you start to get that feeling, there is a reason for it. Maybe she's just not that into you any more. I think our intuition is highly under used and should be trusted more often. I know I've felt this way before in a relationship, and everyone was like, oh no everything is fine. Well no, it wasn't and I was right. That being said it is quite possible she is distracted and has other things on her mind. Best thing to do would be have a really open and honest conversation with her about the whole situation. Let us know how things are going BTW-What does "sms" stand for? Thanks. __________________ I like things. And stuff. But I prefer to have things over stuff.

06-10-2007, 04:39 PM	#6 (permalink)
asaris Mad Philosopher Location: Washington, DC	Unless I'm mistaken, SMS = text message. __________________ "Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht." "The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

06-10-2007, 09:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
purelife Upright	well i am not sure was sms is... but anyway.. why not just talk to her about it? if you two really love each other like you say you do, there is no reason why you can ask her about this. Its only natural to discuss, especially if the change in her is noticeable. she may even be wondering why you havent said anything? I would just ask, and make sure everything is okay with her. maybe something else it bothering her or on her mind. you are her friend, right? a friend, no matter what the sexual relation, would try to understand their friend in any situation. so give her a call and have a conversation about it. thats what i would expect my boyfriend to do, or what i would do if i were in your situation... let us know how it goes...

06-11-2007, 01:46 AM	#7 (permalink)
Sharon Coy, sultry and... naughty! Location: Across the way	SMS = short message service, or text messaging service