Need help figuring out my feelings about this girl and what to do about them. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Undercover_Man · 06-28-2006, 10:07 PM

Hello. This could get pretty long so sorry if it turns out that way.

I moved to Florida to work at Disney. I was doing their College Internsip Program. They get these International College Program (ICP) students every few months too. I met this girl and at first I realized I could very easily get to really liking her. After realizing this, I forced myself to limit communication with her. I didn't want to "get attached to something I couldn't keep".

Well toward the end of her program I couldn't help but get to be good friends with her. I started to get attached and my feelings for her started to grow. I knew I should have stayed away from the ICP's. My roomate had made the same mistake and his girl had to move back to Hong Kong after her program ended.

[Optional Reading]
So toward the end of this girls program, I took her out to dinner twice to a very nice restaurant. She had a best friend too who my room mate was pretty interested in. Well I said goodbye to her and she and her friend started to head for the airport. They had decided at the last moment to cancel their flights and wanted to do a little bit more in Orlando. They had planned to stay at a hotel and somehow things went wrong and the hotel was full.

She called me late at night and I picked her up at the hotel and told her that she and her friend could stay at the apartment (which was very much against the rules). The other roomates didn't care. I had to get one of my roommates to sneak them into the apartment complex. They stayed in my room on the extra bed and left about 3-5 days later.

I got to know this girl a whole lot more while I took her shopping and spending time at Downtown Disney and going other places with her. Her friend left first and the next day I took this girl to the airport. We got their real early and talked for a long time. I said goodbye to her a final time and tried to get over her.
[/Optional Reading]

We still talked a lot on MSN. Several months later I went back home and now it seems as if she's being more open with me. She's telling me more personal things and I'm giving her advice on how to handle some of her personal problems. Since she's been more open with me, I've found myself having those same feelings I had for her back when she was in Orlando. I thought I had buried them deep enough in my brain but it appears that I didn't bury them deep enough.

Well that's what I think it is. I don't know. I don't know what it is I am feeling for her. I don't know if I should give it more time and see if these feelings pass again or if I should risk telling her or what. I let my mind tinker around with a long distance relationship and I'm pretty sure I could pull it off. I've seen and heard enough people go through their own long distance relationships and have learned from them how I would do my part in making one last. But I really don't want to think that far until I figure myself out first. And then I gotta figure out how she would react if I even told her.

This could be because I have no friends except those back in Orlando and the one's I talk to on MSN. I talk to them via phone or MSN. I don't have these feelings for every hot girl I run across. Only the very rare girl and once I do something about it, all seems to work out. Well, until we gotta go our different ways.

Has anyone else been in this situation or a similar one? I don't know what to do or think. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanx
- Undercover_Man

Poppinjay · 06-28-2006, 10:13 PM

Tell her.

A year from now it could be great.

A year from now you could be on to other relationships.

Tell her.

Nisses · 06-30-2006, 02:07 AM

^^^^

4 lines that bear repeating, so

--
Tell her.

A year from now it could be great.

A year from now you could be on to other relationships.

Tell her.
---

If yes, *then* you can start mulling over all the other stuff

If no, then you saved yourself days of pondering

Undercover_Man · 06-30-2006, 07:11 AM

Alright. Now to the next question. How would I go about telling her? How would I bring it up? I've never had to explain my feeling toa girl in this way before.

maleficent · 06-30-2006, 07:59 AM

Hi, I like you, and would like to take what seems like a great relationshipe to the next level... I'd like to spend some time with you, in person and see what develops.

NoSoup · 06-30-2006, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Hi, I like you, and would like to take what seems like a great relationshipe to the next level... I'd like to spend some time with you, in person and see what develops.

Geeze Mal, don't you think you're being a bit forward? I mean, yeah, we've both been on the TFP for a long time, but we have hardly even talked. And I have a fiance.

Well, if you want to come up to Green Bay and hang out in person, we could probably work something out....

Actually, I second the advice you've already gotten - it's better to tell her and see what comes of it rather than possibly regretting it for the rest of your life. As far as bringing it up to her, since MSN is pretty much the only form of communication you use, you can even cheat and come up with what you are going to say word for word before you talk to her.

I assume, though, that she is in a different country, so it may or may not be feasible for her to persue a real life relationship with you...

In either case, good luck!

Undercover_Man · 06-30-2006, 11:19 AM

Yeah. I live in TN and she....yeah...she kinda lives in Turkey.

We're both in college and I have 1-2 semesters left. After that I have no permanent plans. I just... It's just that every time we went out (which wasn't too many times) my mind was with her all that night. She was always on my mind. After she left I felt sad of course. I wondered if there were things that I didn't say or do to express my true feelings for her. You know the saying "the one that got away? Yeah, well that's how I felt. I felt as if she was "the one" that I let get away. I mean I knew she had to go back to her country and everything. I don't know. I just wish that I could make her see my mind and my true feelings that I have for her.

See. This is why I wanted to stay away from the ICP's. I just KNEW that if I started to be real good friends with them that ONE of them would be someone who I had extra special feelings for. *sigh* I will move out of my parents house (Yes I still live at home. You try moving out of a half-million house and into a tiny apartment) and then pick a place to live. I had originally picked Orlando, Florida because it's SO easy to make new friends and that's where I'd find someone to share my life with.

There was another ICP and I even considered moving to Brazil after college to be with her. But the feelings I have for this other girl are even stronger and I guess now that I think about it that I could easily find myself living in Turkey. I'm thinking WAY too far in advance, I know. My mind does that a lot.

Hmmmmm.....I also don't know if I am just infatuated with her or am actually truly in love with her. I don't think it's simple infatuation because they wear off as time goes by.

- Undercover_Man

monkeysugar · 06-30-2006, 09:32 PM

If you don't know if you're infatuated or if you're truly in love, you're infatuated.

Sultana · 07-01-2006, 09:21 AM

Lots of people move from Turkey to live here.

Just sayin'.

MySexyAssJ · 07-03-2006, 12:02 AM

you should definitely tell her

even if you're gonna be as forward as maleficent said.. you gotta tell her. you never know what you'll miss. from the things that you've said, you both seem pretty comfortable. if you admitting your feelings doesn't go as well as you hoped, I'm sure you both will continue to have a great friendship.
at the same time though, from the sound of things.. I think she'll totally go for it!

06-28-2006, 10:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
Undercover_Man Insane	Need help figuring out my feelings about this girl and what to do about them. Hello. This could get pretty long so sorry if it turns out that way. I moved to Florida to work at Disney. I was doing their College Internsip Program. They get these International College Program (ICP) students every few months too. I met this girl and at first I realized I could very easily get to really liking her. After realizing this, I forced myself to limit communication with her. I didn't want to "get attached to something I couldn't keep". Well toward the end of her program I couldn't help but get to be good friends with her. I started to get attached and my feelings for her started to grow. I knew I should have stayed away from the ICP's. My roomate had made the same mistake and his girl had to move back to Hong Kong after her program ended. [Optional Reading] So toward the end of this girls program, I took her out to dinner twice to a very nice restaurant. She had a best friend too who my room mate was pretty interested in. Well I said goodbye to her and she and her friend started to head for the airport. They had decided at the last moment to cancel their flights and wanted to do a little bit more in Orlando. They had planned to stay at a hotel and somehow things went wrong and the hotel was full. She called me late at night and I picked her up at the hotel and told her that she and her friend could stay at the apartment (which was very much against the rules). The other roomates didn't care. I had to get one of my roommates to sneak them into the apartment complex. They stayed in my room on the extra bed and left about 3-5 days later. I got to know this girl a whole lot more while I took her shopping and spending time at Downtown Disney and going other places with her. Her friend left first and the next day I took this girl to the airport. We got their real early and talked for a long time. I said goodbye to her a final time and tried to get over her. [/Optional Reading] We still talked a lot on MSN. Several months later I went back home and now it seems as if she's being more open with me. She's telling me more personal things and I'm giving her advice on how to handle some of her personal problems. Since she's been more open with me, I've found myself having those same feelings I had for her back when she was in Orlando. I thought I had buried them deep enough in my brain but it appears that I didn't bury them deep enough. Well that's what I think it is. I don't know. I don't know what it is I am feeling for her. I don't know if I should give it more time and see if these feelings pass again or if I should risk telling her or what. I let my mind tinker around with a long distance relationship and I'm pretty sure I could pull it off. I've seen and heard enough people go through their own long distance relationships and have learned from them how I would do my part in making one last. But I really don't want to think that far until I figure myself out first. And then I gotta figure out how she would react if I even told her. This could be because I have no friends except those back in Orlando and the one's I talk to on MSN. I talk to them via phone or MSN. I don't have these feelings for every hot girl I run across. Only the very rare girl and once I do something about it, all seems to work out. Well, until we gotta go our different ways. Has anyone else been in this situation or a similar one? I don't know what to do or think. Any help would be appreciated. Thanx - Undercover_Man

06-28-2006, 10:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Tell her. A year from now it could be great. A year from now you could be on to other relationships. Tell her. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

06-30-2006, 02:07 AM	#3 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	^^^^ 4 lines that bear repeating, so -- Tell her. A year from now it could be great. A year from now you could be on to other relationships. Tell her. --- If yes, then you can start mulling over all the other stuff If no, then you saved yourself days of pondering __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

06-30-2006, 07:59 AM	#5 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Hi, I like you, and would like to take what seems like a great relationshipe to the next level... I'd like to spend some time with you, in person and see what develops. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

06-30-2006, 09:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
monkeysugar I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross. Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...	If you don't know if you're infatuated or if you're truly in love, you're infatuated. __________________ I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

06-30-2006, 07:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
Undercover_Man Insane	Alright. Now to the next question. How would I go about telling her? How would I bring it up? I've never had to explain my feeling toa girl in this way before.

06-30-2006, 11:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
Undercover_Man Insane	Yeah. I live in TN and she....yeah...she kinda lives in Turkey. We're both in college and I have 1-2 semesters left. After that I have no permanent plans. I just... It's just that every time we went out (which wasn't too many times) my mind was with her all that night. She was always on my mind. After she left I felt sad of course. I wondered if there were things that I didn't say or do to express my true feelings for her. You know the saying "the one that got away? Yeah, well that's how I felt. I felt as if she was "the one" that I let get away. I mean I knew she had to go back to her country and everything. I don't know. I just wish that I could make her see my mind and my true feelings that I have for her. See. This is why I wanted to stay away from the ICP's. I just KNEW that if I started to be real good friends with them that ONE of them would be someone who I had extra special feelings for. sigh I will move out of my parents house (Yes I still live at home. You try moving out of a half-million house and into a tiny apartment) and then pick a place to live. I had originally picked Orlando, Florida because it's SO easy to make new friends and that's where I'd find someone to share my life with. There was another ICP and I even considered moving to Brazil after college to be with her. But the feelings I have for this other girl are even stronger and I guess now that I think about it that I could easily find myself living in Turkey. I'm thinking WAY too far in advance, I know. My mind does that a lot. Hmmmmm.....I also don't know if I am just infatuated with her or am actually truly in love with her. I don't think it's simple infatuation because they wear off as time goes by. - Undercover_Man

07-01-2006, 09:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Lots of people move from Turkey to live here. Just sayin'. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

07-03-2006, 12:02 AM	#10 (permalink)
MySexyAssJ Tilted Location: Los Angeles	you should definitely tell her even if you're gonna be as forward as maleficent said.. you gotta tell her. you never know what you'll miss. from the things that you've said, you both seem pretty comfortable. if you admitting your feelings doesn't go as well as you hoped, I'm sure you both will continue to have a great friendship. at the same time though, from the sound of things.. I think she'll totally go for it! __________________ Once bitten, Twice shy.