Jim Kata

I guess I'm not the odd after reading some of these posts (except for the corpse sex which i doubt is true)

These are all from high school:

I used to take shortcut between some neighbors yards from my friends house. One night, I just stood in the middle of the yard and jerked it.

Once I was staying at my friends house and was watching some soft core porn on the tv and rubbed one out. Did I mention that my friend was asleep about 10 feet from me? Yeah that was weird when I think about it now.

Once I was taking a dump at my friends house during a party....his brother left a stack of playboys in the bathroom and I decided after flushing and wiping that it was a good moment to shake hands with the unemployed.

Once I was doing homework at the kitchen table while everyone was asleep and just dropped goo underneath the table into a napkin.

Once I went to the bathroom during school and stroked it. I didn't ask to use the bathroom to piss or shit, I asked to use the bathroom because I thought it would be funny to polish the bishop at school.

And once I did it in my car while driving home late one night. Just to do it.

raeanna74

Shoot - I've tried way too many stupid things.

1. 9 volt battery on my wet clit. More OUCH than Ohhh
2. Icyhot on my clit. Nice for the first minute. Then BURN for the next 10 minutes. and washing it off was just as much torture. Warm water felt like it was burning, and cool water felt like ice.
3. In 6th grade I masterbated in a stall in the girls bathroom at school. One of the pranks that girls did was standing on the toilet and pop up over the top of the stalls to peak at each other. One brat did it to me. She was my worst enemy in the class. She caught me and promptly told the teacher. That was a nightmare.
4. Mom caught me masterbating in bed at home.
5. Did it in my bunk in my dorm room at college. Nobody was awake as far as I know.
6. Washed a large cucumber and put it in the microwave for about 15 seconds. Just enough to get it warm. That was a good idea.

I'm sure there's plenty of other crazy stuff I've tried with the goal of getting off in mind. Not all worked but some did and that's the best part.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Mister Coaster

I've done the neck/headstand thing too, surprising how many guys have done this. I also have made sure to taste my own cum just so I know what the ladies are enduring. I have to say, it's not bad, (at least not as bad as my wife makes it out to be, lol) but I definately prefer the taste of pussy.

I tried rubbing the head of my cock with Ambesol (a numbing liquid made for cole-sore pain relief). I figured with a numb cock, I'd have super longevity (why I wanted that while jerkin' the gerkin' I don't recall) Anyway, when I did finally climax it was a very strange feeling. There were no ill effects, so I did that a few more times.

I get hugely turned on if I shave my pubic hair. I currently have some nice man-scaping going on, but every once in a while I just have to shave it all off. I get such a raging hardon while shaving it all off, that it takes 10 strokes or less to get jizzy wit it. (I'm erect just typing the story)

After a party everyone left at the house was all sleeping / passed out and I slipped outside naked into the pool and cranked one out. Hope the filter was in good working order.

I'm sure I'll think of more later...

__________________
If you have any poo... fling it NOW!

sentimental_arm

One of the funniest reactions i get from friends was when i told them that my late father burst in on me while i was on my knees with my dick in between the toilet seat and the porcelain bowl trying to finish off a wank i satrted on the toilet. was only about 14 so in the distant past.

krwlz

Aaaah, I think I qualify that as losing in every sense of the word.

Rubbing one out to a nude dead person... Fucked up, but I could deal with. Fucking a dead person? Ugh... Beyond words.

I'm hoping against hope that that story was one of those "This one time i was in this morgue, and this dead chick was really hot, and I was thinking 'ya know, it would be fucked if i were to fuck this dead chick' but no... I can't do that" type of situations, that by the magic of the internet, became real, because the idea was full fleshed at the time.

Pardon the use of any terms that may seem punnish.

longbough

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE ???

I've dated only one girl nutty enough to try stuff that's comparably outlandish (or at least one who'd admit to it) - and we had a blast. Why we didn't work out is a different matter...

I'm still looking for a woman as fun and twisted as I am.

Scrub0

I learned the lesson of not using aftershave or soap of ANY kind as a lube (my dick hurts just thinking about it ) the hard way. A bit of toothpaste mixed with lotion works really well, though.

I don't like the idea of jacking off in bathroom stalls or anywhere else public, but there were several occasions when i would get bored on a road trip and jack off while driving. Takes me forever to get off since I can't really get comfortable, but it's a fun way to pass the time.

My riskiest jack-off was at a warehouse job I had earlier this year, sitting in a corner, out of sight behind my forklift. since it was such a huge place, I didn't have much chance of getting caught, but I was still nervous. I'd been wanting to do it all day, and finally couldn't stand it anymore, so I just went for it.

fresnelly

Way back during puberty, when I was first mastering that potential, it was all so new and shocking, and I had a few hits and misses. Remember that at that time, it was more about basic accomplishment than anything else.

In one of those early misadventures, I was working it and working it without any success. I wanted to finish so bad, but ended up peeing on the bed instead. There's no credible lie a 12 year old can come up with for peeing in the bed.

Also in those days, I once tried Vaseline as the lube because I heard that's what you use. Once.

That shit is stinky, sticky and almost impossible to clean up.

I've come along way baby!

__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

Choco_blowjob

When I was younger my friend told me about Masterbation and that day I was home alone So I decide to take my moms favorite perfume bottle and stuck the side with the spray nozzle in me and when i started getting a thrill it sprayed in me. It burnt like hell and when I yanked it out the top got stuck. So I had to use my dads tweezers to pull it out.

Sheepy

I started jerking off when i was like, REALLY young. i didn't even get it, and had plans about how i would become rich telling people about this new jerking off sensation.

I remember sometimes i'd be lying next to the floor jerking off when parent's friends came around, or when watching pokemon or something.

My Best Friend!

when I was 16, I tried to use a vacuum... and didn't realize it was pluged in...
HURT LIKE HELL! And no one was home, so I was in pain!

MSD

What, exactly, did you expect to get out of sticking your dick in an unplugged vacuum?

My Best Friend!

Well I know that! Just I fell and it got stuck and THAT'S when it hurts :3