Multi-lingual parents - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

leftyderek · 11-24-2005, 03:07 PM

Hi there, I'm yet to be a parent (which I'm glad 'cause... yep, I'm still in university), but I have a question about parenting. Here's it:

So I was born in Hong Kong and I speak Cantonese, Mandarin and English pretty fluently, although not perfect. And my beloved one is from Switzerland and speaks Swiss-german, German and English, pretty fluently also. And we communicate, of course in English. And we have been wondering, how is it possible (if at all) to make our childen learn hopefully all the languages we speak?

I have seen kids and know friends who mix languages when they speak due to their multi-lingual childhood environment, for example a friend of mind would speak Arabic mixing in English words, or I have seen kids speaking English mixing in Cantonese or Mandarin words etc. And we don't really want that to happen to our kids, if we decide to have one maybe, say, 5 or 10 years later.

Any interesting experience or ideas to satisfy the curious 19-year-old here?

canuckguy · 11-24-2005, 03:23 PM

Any of your future kids would easly pick up your native languages if you speak them at home to your kids. In school (assuming being in canada) they'll be speaking english, and learning french, but when they come home you can mix it up however it makes you most comfortable.
I think I remember reading that children who learn this way tend to develop skills more quickly than children in single language homes as the kids learn ways to express themselves multiple ways.

I

FngKestrel · 11-24-2005, 04:07 PM

If they do learn a language from you, it will most likely be diluted like the way you describe it. I think it's a generational thing, a result of being immersed in a culture such as the the US. There's little opportunity to use the language, and as such, it falls into disuse.

My parents are from mainland China and moved to Taiwan early on. I was born here. Even though my parents talked to me everyday in Chinese, my Chinese is conversational at best.

I think I actually learned French better from high school. At least I can read that.

I once met a Japanese friend's parents and attempting to impress them, I greeted them in Japanese. Her father replied in perfect English, "I don't speak Japanese."

leftyderek · 11-24-2005, 04:11 PM

Yes- most probably I'll be doing theatre in Canada after grad... Most probably.

Hm, the problem is... I understand 30-50% of daily life German/Swiss-german, but she understands close to 0% of any Chinese (you all have heard about how hard it is to learn)...

So wouldn't it be sort of funny/chaotic when I complain to Lefty Jr. in Cantonese how mommy gets so stressed about everything while mommy complains to littleLefty in German how daddy always loses his keys?

Thanks for the reply though-
I actually think it's kinda fun if that ^ would really happen.
Chaotic but fun, and the kids will be SO cool.
(I'm also looking forward to the day that our kid teaches us French- I'm just too busy with my German now.)

And, another question. If I speak Cantonese to the kid, she speaks Swiss-german/German to the kid and we both speak English to the kid, wouldn't the poor little one get confused about what words/grammar falls into which language?

Here's an example:
LittleLefty has just learnt how to use the word 'I'.
Mom told littleLefty that 'ich mag...' means 'I like...' in German.
I told littleLefty 'mau' is the pronounciation for 'cat(s)' in Cantonese.

What if littleLefty pops out a sentence like 'I mag mau!' one day?
Would s/he sooner or later realize, by observation that s/he should either say 'I like cats.' or 'Ich mag Katzen'(geez my german's still bad.) or 'blahblahblah' [in Cantonese]?

leftyderek · 11-24-2005, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FngKestrel

If they do learn a language from you, it will most likely be diluted like the way you describe it. I think it's a generational thing, a result of being immersed in a culture such as the the US. There's little opportunity to use the language, and as such, it falls into disuse.

My parents are from mainland China and moved to Taiwan early on. I was born here. Even though my parents talked to me everyday in Chinese, my Chinese is conversational at best.

I think I actually learned French better from high school. At least I can read that.

I once met a Japanese friend's parents and attempting to impress them, I greeted them in Japanese. Her father replied in perfect English, "I don't speak Japanese."

Oh- does your Japanese friend speak Japanese then? (okay that sounded weird)

I think it's a little bit said that one cannot even speak their 'own' language when it is possible for them to learn. That's why I have been thinking of the 'making my future kids learning all the languages me and my loved one are fluent in' question

aKula · 11-24-2005, 04:31 PM

Well my father is German and my mother is Greek. I was born in Germany and first spoke German. Eventually I picked up greek as well, I still remember when the language started falling into place in my mind (we were on holidays when I said my first words in Greek and I have a very faint and vague memory of it). Just be sure that your children are exposed to the languages and they should pick them up. My parents had taken me to Greece at a very young age to be baptized and to meet my grandparents. I will ask my Mother how much Greek she spoke to us at home in Germany when we were young which should give you a better idea how you can foster the learning of these languages.
I am sure your children will appreciate it later in life if you went to such length as they learn the language automatically and don't have to go to the considerable effort of learning a language later in life.

FngKestrel · 11-24-2005, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leftyderek

Oh- does your Japanese friend speak Japanese then? (okay that sounded weird)

I think it's a little bit said that one cannot even speak their 'own' language when it is possible for them to learn. That's why I have been thinking of the 'making my future kids learning all the languages me and my loved one are fluent in' question

She doesn't, but I didn't know that at the time.

I think the most important thing is immersion. Movies, books, media in that language will give a practical application of the language and make it stick better.

As for mixing up the languages, well, you can't help that. I remember listening to my French teacher lapse into Spanish once in a while during class. That was confusing.

jorgelito · 11-24-2005, 10:50 PM

Why doesn't your beloved learn Chinese since you've taken the time to learn German? German is just as hard if not harder thatn Chinses to learn. If she's not even willing to bother learning your language but you learn hers, what does that say about her respect for you and your culture? Also, your little ones may not want to bother learning Chinese cause mommy couldn't be bothered to so it must not be worth learning.

Honestly, do your kids a favor and teach them Chinese - better yet, enroll them in a language school. After all, they will most likely be doing business in Chinese than German in the future.

I would also reinforce language skills (any language) by immersion or traveling to that country - spend time in switzerland, Germany, Austria, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore etc.

Best of luck to you. Your kids will have great advantages if they can pcik up language skills, especially Chinese.

leftyderek · 11-24-2005, 11:39 PM

Thanks for all the replies guys

Just had a really bad day and these replies make me think of some nice future with supercool children some years later

Replying the last post- of course my girlfriend is learning Chinese(Cantonese). Next year when she joins me in university she said she'll for sure start learning Chinese properly (because I'm such a bad teacher- even though my Dad teaches chinese).

EDIT: Of course knowing more languages will be an advantage

And littleLefties better thank mommy for choosing a Chinese daddy who can teach them one of the most useful and cool-to-learn languages on earth.

EDIT: Oh, and I'm pretty sure our future littleLefties will kind of have to travel a lot and be exposed to both Chinese and German- afterall the kiddies have to visit their grandmas and grandpas (who live in Hong Kong and Switzerland respectively) at some point. You know, just to make the old ones happy. And then our littleLefties can show off their language skills in front of our parents! They are gonna be SO happy. Oh- it's getting more exciting and interesting

leftyderek · 11-24-2005, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FngKestrel

She doesn't, but I didn't know that at the time.
As for mixing up the languages, well, you can't help that. I remember listening to my French teacher lapse into Spanish once in a while during class. That was confusing.

That reminds me of my beloved girlfriend actually- once I was visiting her family Last Easter I think (her dad got me a ticket to visit them, how could I resist that?), right after talking to her little sister in Swiss-german, she wanted to tell me something and she did it in Swiss-german and I just went all

(at that point my german/swiss-german was still not enough to understand what she was trying to tell me)

/Am I hi-jacking my own thread here?

Furry · 11-25-2005, 02:55 AM

My Dad's English and my mother French, and I went through (apparently) a couple of wierd stages. First of all I started off speaking just French - for about three or so months - and then started speaking English mixed in with a few french words.
About seven to eight years later my french ability dropped to practically zero. I wasn't speaking it any more as Mum was the only person left around me that spoke it, and she and my monolingual step-family had moved away from Dad. Dad, though fully able to carry on a conversation in French, never bothered.
I slowly recovered my French to pratically bilingual level over the next few years. Mum and I started using French as a second language around the house, and I was back in a French-speaking environment (I was also taking French at school).
Then about four months ago I moved to France - and now I've got the opposite problem. Whilst my spoken French is pretty much 100%, the last time I went back to England I had a few memorable moments where I had forgotten english expressions, vocabulary and - especially - grammar. I had to replace them with french words. Also, because a translation of a word can have a slightly different meaning in one language, I'll sometimes use that word instead of the closest english/french equivalent. For example, there's no direct, 100% english translation of the french word "Malaise" - ill-at-ease almost, but not quite covers it - and I still can't find a good translation for "Insipid".

As far as mixing the two languages goes, one will always be harder to keep up with than the other due to immersion etc. As long as you don't confuse your future child with language-mixing yourself, they should be fine (Maybe have alternate language days at home?)

sentimental_arm · 11-25-2005, 04:35 AM

Guess I'm a little late to add anything to this but I've always wondered what it would be like to be properly bi-lingual. I'm a Welsh man but only speak English fluently (debatable I know), though some Welsh expressions have always been in my vocabulary and I always thought some Welsh expressions were English words until I found out otherwise (like twp = stupid). Speaking to friends who are bi-lingual or have spoken other languages to a competent degree. it seems you have to need to speak a language to pick it up easily.
One friend went to China for 6 months as a teacher and he thought it only takes 6 weeks or so to pick up basic chinese from scratch if you're in the country. Another friend hardly spoke a word of English when she came from Spain but a few years later spoke fluently. Also had an ex g/f who's mother was Portugese and father was Italian yet because they lived in England they only taught her English, so that's all she can speak and understand.
So it depends on the situation I guess as to whether you teach your child your mother tongue or other languages. I think I might make up my own language and teach it to my kids, based on a system of grunts and whines. Poor bastards.

leftyderek · 11-25-2005, 03:12 PM

Furry: Hey the alternative language days idea is pretty cool- that makes me think of alternative crusine days at my future family too!

sentimental_arm: Njah you can never be too late for replying in a forum, most of the time. Anyway how do you pronounce 'twp'? That looks pretty weird... (no offense intended with the word 'word'- weird and cool means pretty much the same in my dictionary.)

Psycho Dad · 11-25-2005, 05:15 PM

I certainly can't comment on how well it would work to teach a child that many languages, but I do think that exposing them to different languages is important. One thing I never understood is why my sister-in-law and her ex-husband were against my niece learning Spanish.

aKula · 11-26-2005, 01:24 AM

I asked my Mother and she only spoke greek to me from the moment I was born. My father of course spoke german. I guess living in Germany made me pick up german first.

sashime76 · 11-30-2005, 05:51 PM

I'm Chinese also and speak three dialects plus English. My wife who was born in Brunei speaks 4 Chinese dialects plus Malay and English. I grew up in US while my wife grew up in Canada.

Our two boys, 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 can understand English, quite a lot of Mandarin, Hakka, Taiwanese and picked up some Spanish from TV while watching Dora The Explorer. Sometimes our little one will pace himself around the house and count in Spanish, up to ten that is. Our older son usually asks and responds (to our questions) in English. He will use Mandarin, Hakka or Taiwanese every now and then.

Kids can pick up several languages at once, like my own and my sister's two kids. I do, however, correct my older son when we read books on his pronunciations. I still have a slight accent that I can't shake, but so far, my two boys talk just like the "regular" ABC's.

abaya · 11-30-2005, 08:12 PM

Lefty, I've thought about this a lot, too. My father was Icelandic and my mother Thai, and I learned Thai by association (not immersion, since my mother spoke English to me) as a kid... I wouldn't say I am fluent, but I can understand a lot and speak conversationally. My father died before I was born so I never was exposed to Icelandic. What ended up happening is that English became my #1 tongue, with Thai falling far behind as I got further into school (after age 5 it went downhilll quick). I had to go to Iceland at age 22 and live there for a year, immersion + classes, to learn the language from scratch. I spent two semesters at a Thai language school a couple of years ago, to try and improve my skills. Basically though, I wish I hadn't been allowed to speak English at home.. it would have saved me a LOT of grief later in life, especially for communicating with grandparents, for example. Imagine never sharing a common language with your own grandparents...

Anyway, not to say that I am dissuaded from cross-linguistic parenting as a result. Ktspktsp speaks Arabic, French, and English fluently (he learned them all as a kid), so we have five languages between us. If we have kids, I'd like for them to learn at least conversational bits of all of those languages... language-a-day would work well for all of us, actually! (Since I need to learn Arabic and French, and ktspktsp needs to learn Thai and Icelandic). To me it would be really fun... and would keep us learning together, as a family.

Of course, the main issue is where the kids are raised. I am not sure yet if I want my kids raised in one country (particularly the US)... it would be great to rotate them through the five countries that we are a part of... then they would be immersed in the school and socialization of all five. That would be truly multicultural, and beautiful, to me.

leftyderek · 11-30-2005, 11:36 PM

So did you pick up Icelandic? I have *tried* to learn it when I was studying in Norway (I ended up learning an easier language- Swedish- and forgetting nearly everything now.)

Oh I'm not sure about rotating countries when the kids are still too young-
it will be extremely hard for them to get playmates and some 'we grew up together' friends... but taking them around after them growing up would be a cool idea.

Multicultural IS beautiful- I learned to fully appreciate that in my last high school (where basically there were students from all over the world). That's why I would like my kids to speak me and my girlfriend's language. Learning the languages is a good start for learning the cultures- hope I'm making sense here...

abaya · 12-01-2005, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leftyderek

Oh I'm not sure about rotating countries when the kids are still too young-it will be extremely hard for them to get playmates and some 'we grew up together' friends... but taking them around after them growing up would be a cool idea.

Yeah, I did pick up a lot of Icelandic, actually. Not perfect, but I can talk with my family and do small transactions in town. As for rotating countries... I don't know, the whole "growing up" together thing wasn't a huge deal for me, since I changed elementary schools every year (6 times, without ever moving from my actual home) and learned to adapt to the constantly changing atmosphere. I loved having so many different kinds of friends, and I still do... having a wide range of friends from different countries is a highlight of my life.

So, I don't know... I'm pretty "post-national," "post-ethnic," whatever you call it, so I think it's better to not belong to one country in particular, if it can be helped. But that's just my perspective right now, which, granted, is at 4am in the middle of grading archaeology papers.

Maybe you're right, waiting till they are at least 10 years old or something before traveling around to 5 countries all over the world. But living in two countries in one's childhood, that could be manageable..

But yes, exposure to languages is the next best thing to living in different countries. It is an investment in that culture, and in the values of that side of the family. I think it is essential to any cross-cultural relationship, including with the children.

raveneye · 12-05-2005, 05:23 AM

The key is to speak a different language(s) at home from the one your child hears outside, with friends and at school. You have to be completely strict about it, otherwise you'll slide down the easy route and the kid will end up speaking whatever friends and schoolmates speak. They will learn the outside language automatically.

Kids seem to always prefer the language that their friends/peers speak over their parents' language, by the time they're around 6 or 7 years old, so it's a constant battle. I know several Cuban kids whose parents spoke only Spanish, and they can speak it OK conversationally, but they would rather not. And when all these Cuban kids get together to play, the speak in English.

I think the best way for them to learn several languages is to move to a different country every 5 years, none of which speak your home language

Or spend summers in a different country.

doodlebird · 12-06-2005, 11:42 PM

i'll back up those who are supporting have a different language at home than the one they're hear all day long out of the home.

my son's mother and i are bother spanish speakers, and speak mostly spanish to our boy. he learns english from our friends and our family. he also learns some more spanish from our friends and family. we live in texas, where it is easy to practice and be exposed to both. so that's our theory. practice and exposure.... nothing new, just some support.

and one minor nit picky thing... you mentioned twice about how cool your kids will be because they speak two languages, i bet you already know what coming next... no, speaking two languages doesn't make you cool. but having a love and an appreciation for multiple cultures? now that's heading down the right road.

11-24-2005, 03:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	Multi-lingual parents Hi there, I'm yet to be a parent (which I'm glad 'cause... yep, I'm still in university), but I have a question about parenting. Here's it: So I was born in Hong Kong and I speak Cantonese, Mandarin and English pretty fluently, although not perfect. And my beloved one is from Switzerland and speaks Swiss-german, German and English, pretty fluently also. And we communicate, of course in English. And we have been wondering, how is it possible (if at all) to make our childen learn hopefully all the languages we speak? I have seen kids and know friends who mix languages when they speak due to their multi-lingual childhood environment, for example a friend of mind would speak Arabic mixing in English words, or I have seen kids speaking English mixing in Cantonese or Mandarin words etc. And we don't really want that to happen to our kids, if we decide to have one maybe, say, 5 or 10 years later. Any interesting experience or ideas to satisfy the curious 19-year-old here? __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light...

11-24-2005, 04:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	Yes- most probably I'll be doing theatre in Canada after grad... Most probably. Hm, the problem is... I understand 30-50% of daily life German/Swiss-german, but she understands close to 0% of any Chinese (you all have heard about how hard it is to learn)... So wouldn't it be sort of funny/chaotic when I complain to Lefty Jr. in Cantonese how mommy gets so stressed about everything while mommy complains to littleLefty in German how daddy always loses his keys? Thanks for the reply though- I actually think it's kinda fun if that ^ would really happen. Chaotic but fun, and the kids will be SO cool. (I'm also looking forward to the day that our kid teaches us French- I'm just too busy with my German now.) And, another question. If I speak Cantonese to the kid, she speaks Swiss-german/German to the kid and we both speak English to the kid, wouldn't the poor little one get confused about what words/grammar falls into which language? Here's an example: LittleLefty has just learnt how to use the word 'I'. Mom told littleLefty that 'ich mag...' means 'I like...' in German. I told littleLefty 'mau' is the pronounciation for 'cat(s)' in Cantonese. What if littleLefty pops out a sentence like 'I mag mau!' one day? Would s/he sooner or later realize, by observation that s/he should either say 'I like cats.' or 'Ich mag Katzen'(geez my german's still bad.) or 'blahblahblah' [in Cantonese]? __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light...

11-24-2005, 11:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	Thanks for all the replies guys Just had a really bad day and these replies make me think of some nice future with supercool children some years later Replying the last post- of course my girlfriend is learning Chinese(Cantonese). Next year when she joins me in university she said she'll for sure start learning Chinese properly (because I'm such a bad teacher- even though my Dad teaches chinese). EDIT: Of course knowing more languages will be an advantage And littleLefties better thank mommy for choosing a Chinese daddy who can teach them one of the most useful and cool-to-learn languages on earth. EDIT: Oh, and I'm pretty sure our future littleLefties will kind of have to travel a lot and be exposed to both Chinese and German- afterall the kiddies have to visit their grandmas and grandpas (who live in Hong Kong and Switzerland respectively) at some point. You know, just to make the old ones happy. And then our littleLefties can show off their language skills in front of our parents! They are gonna be SO happy. Oh- it's getting more exciting and interesting __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light... Last edited by leftyderek; 11-24-2005 at 11:48 PM.. Reason: more replies

11-25-2005, 02:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Furry Crazy Location: UK	My Dad's English and my mother French, and I went through (apparently) a couple of wierd stages. First of all I started off speaking just French - for about three or so months - and then started speaking English mixed in with a few french words. About seven to eight years later my french ability dropped to practically zero. I wasn't speaking it any more as Mum was the only person left around me that spoke it, and she and my monolingual step-family had moved away from Dad. Dad, though fully able to carry on a conversation in French, never bothered. I slowly recovered my French to pratically bilingual level over the next few years. Mum and I started using French as a second language around the house, and I was back in a French-speaking environment (I was also taking French at school). Then about four months ago I moved to France - and now I've got the opposite problem. Whilst my spoken French is pretty much 100%, the last time I went back to England I had a few memorable moments where I had forgotten english expressions, vocabulary and - especially - grammar. I had to replace them with french words. Also, because a translation of a word can have a slightly different meaning in one language, I'll sometimes use that word instead of the closest english/french equivalent. For example, there's no direct, 100% english translation of the french word "Malaise" - ill-at-ease almost, but not quite covers it - and I still can't find a good translation for "Insipid". As far as mixing the two languages goes, one will always be harder to keep up with than the other due to immersion etc. As long as you don't confuse your future child with language-mixing yourself, they should be fine (Maybe have alternate language days at home?) __________________ Furry is the leader of his own cult, the "Furballs of Doom". They sit about chanting "Doom, Doom, Doom". (From a random shot in the dark by SirLance)

11-25-2005, 03:12 PM	#13 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	Furry: Hey the alternative language days idea is pretty cool- that makes me think of alternative crusine days at my future family too! sentimental_arm: Njah you can never be too late for replying in a forum, most of the time. Anyway how do you pronounce 'twp'? That looks pretty weird... (no offense intended with the word 'word'- weird and cool means pretty much the same in my dictionary.) __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light...

11-24-2005, 03:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	Any of your future kids would easly pick up your native languages if you speak them at home to your kids. In school (assuming being in canada) they'll be speaking english, and learning french, but when they come home you can mix it up however it makes you most comfortable. I think I remember reading that children who learn this way tend to develop skills more quickly than children in single language homes as the kids learn ways to express themselves multiple ways. I

11-24-2005, 04:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
FngKestrel Junkie	If they do learn a language from you, it will most likely be diluted like the way you describe it. I think it's a generational thing, a result of being immersed in a culture such as the the US. There's little opportunity to use the language, and as such, it falls into disuse. My parents are from mainland China and moved to Taiwan early on. I was born here. Even though my parents talked to me everyday in Chinese, my Chinese is conversational at best. I think I actually learned French better from high school. At least I can read that. I once met a Japanese friend's parents and attempting to impress them, I greeted them in Japanese. Her father replied in perfect English, "I don't speak Japanese."

11-24-2005, 04:31 PM	#6 (permalink)
aKula Psycho	Well my father is German and my mother is Greek. I was born in Germany and first spoke German. Eventually I picked up greek as well, I still remember when the language started falling into place in my mind (we were on holidays when I said my first words in Greek and I have a very faint and vague memory of it). Just be sure that your children are exposed to the languages and they should pick them up. My parents had taken me to Greece at a very young age to be baptized and to meet my grandparents. I will ask my Mother how much Greek she spoke to us at home in Germany when we were young which should give you a better idea how you can foster the learning of these languages. I am sure your children will appreciate it later in life if you went to such length as they learn the language automatically and don't have to go to the considerable effort of learning a language later in life.

11-24-2005, 10:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
jorgelito All important elusive independent swing voter... Location: People's Republic of KKKalifornia	Why doesn't your beloved learn Chinese since you've taken the time to learn German? German is just as hard if not harder thatn Chinses to learn. If she's not even willing to bother learning your language but you learn hers, what does that say about her respect for you and your culture? Also, your little ones may not want to bother learning Chinese cause mommy couldn't be bothered to so it must not be worth learning. Honestly, do your kids a favor and teach them Chinese - better yet, enroll them in a language school. After all, they will most likely be doing business in Chinese than German in the future. I would also reinforce language skills (any language) by immersion or traveling to that country - spend time in switzerland, Germany, Austria, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore etc. Best of luck to you. Your kids will have great advantages if they can pcik up language skills, especially Chinese.

11-25-2005, 04:35 AM	#12 (permalink)
sentimental_arm Upright	Guess I'm a little late to add anything to this but I've always wondered what it would be like to be properly bi-lingual. I'm a Welsh man but only speak English fluently (debatable I know), though some Welsh expressions have always been in my vocabulary and I always thought some Welsh expressions were English words until I found out otherwise (like twp = stupid). Speaking to friends who are bi-lingual or have spoken other languages to a competent degree. it seems you have to need to speak a language to pick it up easily. One friend went to China for 6 months as a teacher and he thought it only takes 6 weeks or so to pick up basic chinese from scratch if you're in the country. Another friend hardly spoke a word of English when she came from Spain but a few years later spoke fluently. Also had an ex g/f who's mother was Portugese and father was Italian yet because they lived in England they only taught her English, so that's all she can speak and understand. So it depends on the situation I guess as to whether you teach your child your mother tongue or other languages. I think I might make up my own language and teach it to my kids, based on a system of grunts and whines. Poor bastards.

11-25-2005, 05:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	I certainly can't comment on how well it would work to teach a child that many languages, but I do think that exposing them to different languages is important. One thing I never understood is why my sister-in-law and her ex-husband were against my niece learning Spanish. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

11-26-2005, 01:24 AM	#15 (permalink)
aKula Psycho	I asked my Mother and she only spoke greek to me from the moment I was born. My father of course spoke german. I guess living in Germany made me pick up german first.

11-30-2005, 05:51 PM	#16 (permalink)
sashime76 Addict Location: Hoosier State	I'm Chinese also and speak three dialects plus English. My wife who was born in Brunei speaks 4 Chinese dialects plus Malay and English. I grew up in US while my wife grew up in Canada. Our two boys, 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 can understand English, quite a lot of Mandarin, Hakka, Taiwanese and picked up some Spanish from TV while watching Dora The Explorer. Sometimes our little one will pace himself around the house and count in Spanish, up to ten that is. Our older son usually asks and responds (to our questions) in English. He will use Mandarin, Hakka or Taiwanese every now and then. Kids can pick up several languages at once, like my own and my sister's two kids. I do, however, correct my older son when we read books on his pronunciations. I still have a slight accent that I can't shake, but so far, my two boys talk just like the "regular" ABC's.

11-30-2005, 08:12 PM	#17 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Lefty, I've thought about this a lot, too. My father was Icelandic and my mother Thai, and I learned Thai by association (not immersion, since my mother spoke English to me) as a kid... I wouldn't say I am fluent, but I can understand a lot and speak conversationally. My father died before I was born so I never was exposed to Icelandic. What ended up happening is that English became my #1 tongue, with Thai falling far behind as I got further into school (after age 5 it went downhilll quick). I had to go to Iceland at age 22 and live there for a year, immersion + classes, to learn the language from scratch. I spent two semesters at a Thai language school a couple of years ago, to try and improve my skills. Basically though, I wish I hadn't been allowed to speak English at home.. it would have saved me a LOT of grief later in life, especially for communicating with grandparents, for example. Imagine never sharing a common language with your own grandparents... Anyway, not to say that I am dissuaded from cross-linguistic parenting as a result. Ktspktsp speaks Arabic, French, and English fluently (he learned them all as a kid), so we have five languages between us. If we have kids, I'd like for them to learn at least conversational bits of all of those languages... language-a-day would work well for all of us, actually! (Since I need to learn Arabic and French, and ktspktsp needs to learn Thai and Icelandic). To me it would be really fun... and would keep us learning together, as a family. Of course, the main issue is where the kids are raised. I am not sure yet if I want my kids raised in one country (particularly the US)... it would be great to rotate them through the five countries that we are a part of... then they would be immersed in the school and socialization of all five. That would be truly multicultural, and beautiful, to me. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

11-30-2005, 11:36 PM	#18 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	So did you pick up Icelandic? I have tried to learn it when I was studying in Norway (I ended up learning an easier language- Swedish- and forgetting nearly everything now.) Oh I'm not sure about rotating countries when the kids are still too young- it will be extremely hard for them to get playmates and some 'we grew up together' friends... but taking them around after them growing up would be a cool idea. Multicultural IS beautiful- I learned to fully appreciate that in my last high school (where basically there were students from all over the world). That's why I would like my kids to speak me and my girlfriend's language. Learning the languages is a good start for learning the cultures- hope I'm making sense here... __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light...

12-05-2005, 05:23 AM	#20 (permalink)
raveneye Born Against	The key is to speak a different language(s) at home from the one your child hears outside, with friends and at school. You have to be completely strict about it, otherwise you'll slide down the easy route and the kid will end up speaking whatever friends and schoolmates speak. They will learn the outside language automatically. Kids seem to always prefer the language that their friends/peers speak over their parents' language, by the time they're around 6 or 7 years old, so it's a constant battle. I know several Cuban kids whose parents spoke only Spanish, and they can speak it OK conversationally, but they would rather not. And when all these Cuban kids get together to play, the speak in English. I think the best way for them to learn several languages is to move to a different country every 5 years, none of which speak your home language Or spend summers in a different country.

12-06-2005, 11:42 PM	#21 (permalink)
doodlebird pío pío Location: on a branch about to break	i'll back up those who are supporting have a different language at home than the one they're hear all day long out of the home. my son's mother and i are bother spanish speakers, and speak mostly spanish to our boy. he learns english from our friends and our family. he also learns some more spanish from our friends and family. we live in texas, where it is easy to practice and be exposed to both. so that's our theory. practice and exposure.... nothing new, just some support. and one minor nit picky thing... you mentioned twice about how cool your kids will be because they speak two languages, i bet you already know what coming next... no, speaking two languages doesn't make you cool. but having a love and an appreciation for multiple cultures? now that's heading down the right road. __________________ xoxo doodle