Halx

I was gonna post this in the Need Help with Kid #8 Name thread, but I would like to be heard.

This is what I have been thinking throughout that thread. I guess it's too late since they got 7 already, but DAMN. There is going to be a point in time, past the age of 2 where your kids are going to want to become individuals and having the same name as everyone else in the damn family will NOT HELP THAT. Save the replication for the middle names.

Also, if you're American, giving your kids a list of names more complicated than that Latina news reporter from "Married... With Children" (Props if you actually know who I am talking about) is equal torture. There is something to be said about creating NEW names (after all, if names didn't evolve, there would be a lot of kids around today named "Gaylord" who would be slashing their own throats right about now) but warping already existing names by swapping out a letter or two is like naming your kid in L33t 5p34k.

Now, some of you may have names like all of this that I'm describing, and you may be damn proud of your name. That could be cognitive dissonance, or it could be genuine - I am not one to say. I am simply stating my opinion and I do feel like the majority of the "down to earth" non-hippy, non-yuppie population will agree with me.

If you name your kid BonBon Gerald Thomas, how the fuck are they ever going to grow up to be President?

In the end, I'd like to say that naming your kid should not be about you or your family pride. Naming your kid Apple or Moon Unit may be great if you're a disaffected celebrity with no sense of reality. Naming your kids all the same name may be great if you lived in an Orwellian society where names hardly meant shit. Giving your kids ten thousand middle names may be great if you want them to be a scavenger hunt list item later in life. If you're latin or hispanic, your daughter may have 50 names by the time she's 30, so don't bother. NAME YOUR KIDS LIKE YOU LOVE THEM, NOT LIKE THEY'RE PETS.

That is all.

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the_marq

I think it's Germany that has actual laws in place to prevent you from giving your kid a name that would lead to ridicule. Every couple of months there is a link on Fark about some German (I could be wrong about the country) couple who tries to name their kid "Osama bin Laden" or "Nike Air Jordan" and the gov't shuts them down. Funny stuff really.

My first name is Mark. It's kinda boring, but it's mine, I've made it mine and I like it.

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TheBrit

You have a point.
I know Peaches Geldof and she's OK with her name at the moment, but says that if her surname wasn't Geldof she'd change her name as soon as she could.

Redlemon

My personal guide to naming a child:
1. The name should be clearly male or clearly female.
2. People should be able to spell the name on their first try.
3. Try shortening the name to its common nicknames. Do you still like the sound of it?
4. The first name should not be the same as any living relative (that's a Jewish tradition that we adopted. Using initials is common in our family, so I went one step further and ensured that the first initial was unique).

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Charlatan

I disagree with rule one redlemon... I've always liked boys names on girls...

I almost named my daughter Michael (a girls name in the bible but now more a boys name)... that would have broken rule 4 as well...

Both of my children have interesting names... They aren't out there wacky but they are distincitve and very much, in the case of my 10 year old, his own.

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Janey

I have discussed this with my husband, and we have a list of names that We think ar distinctive, without being embarrassing, strong and not too common. Depending on the number of and gender of kids, we may pull from this pool. But first, I have to look at and hold the baby before it happens:

Male: Eric, Cameron, Ryan

Female: Emily, Lisa, Sarah

Amnesia620

How amusing. A few months back I was reading about a new and unique name that has actually become VERY popular...can anyone guess??

Espen or Espn

Some people, on this planet, love sports SO much they have gone as far as to name him AND/OR her after a cable channel?? That's right, the name is "Uni-Sexed"
What next...Cinemax?

As far as I see it, kids will always find a way to warp, twist, tease, and then permanently "burn" into other kids' memories some retarded variation of their name. More often than not, I believe an individual's name says something about that person.
(I.E.: my first name means "The strong one", which is very true.
Before I had him, I decided on my son's first and middle name to be Ashton Pierce, meaning "Of the Ash Tree Meadow Stone". It describes admiration, pride and strength. I love it because it's short, uncommon (not rare nor popular) mature, solid and charismatic.)

Don't forget though: Just because the perfect name(s) can take thought, imagination, compromise and compassion, doesn't mean ShaniquaSeleenaNikeeshaMoniquaDoreece can't continue to forever be your favorite name...it only means you may want to think long and hard before being responsible for your decision to have your child carry such a burden.

Anyone agree with me?

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byesman

Hal, meet my daughter Miranda Veracruz de la Jolla Cardenal. She's a news reporter. You might have seen her on TV.

But I agree. I had a client once that had 4 kids, (3 fathers) and each one had 6-7 middle names. To this day, i can't remember the kids first names. I remember hers though, she was a stripper.

And the unique spellings are as bad. I think I saw on ESPN, (the network, not the children) that there are about 6 diferent ways that you can spell Dion/Deon/Dionne/D'On/etc. Enough. If you can't find it on a pencil, then spell it some way you can. All the little 1st graders will have pencils with their names, but not little Mykale. All his pencils say Michael.

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Redlemon

But people will continue to write it down as 'Micheal'. It's been in the top 5 names for approximately forever, and yet people still can't spell it right. Yes, my name is Michael. I don't expect people to spell my last name correctly, but my first, c'mon, what's your problem?!?

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ryfo

i have always wanted to name my daughter Rebecca, but as I am not going to have children i would have to name my cat and it just doesnt sound right . People always spell my first name wrong..even on licence and official stuff

CandleInTheDark

How about avoiding extraneous "y"s?

My personal favorite rant http://www.misanthropic-bitch.com/briandrye.html

If you don't laugh, you probably named your kids after cheese and bread. :P

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Redlemon

Very nice, reminded me of Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing, which I think I found on TFP a while ago.

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Amnesia620

I read this site often...refreshing change from all the "yes" men in the world, so-to-speak.

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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

degrawj

I'm kind of stuckin a dilemma on this issue. I want to agree wholeheartedly on this issue, but I can't because if I ever have a son, I want to give him my name. Normally I hate the idea of Jr.'s and Seconds, but I really don't like any male name except for Jacob. He wouldn't be a Jr. though, or a Second. I also like the idea of keeping family names, so the middle name would be a family name. Other than those issues, I agree with the idea that your children should be named in a respectable manner.

byesman

Redlemon, I'm a Michael also, and sometimes I have to stop and think "Is that right?" when I spell it because so many people don't spell it right.

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If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost,
forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl.

H.L. Mencken

Suave

You've inspired me, Halx. If I have children, I shall name my firstborn "w00t".

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God of Thunder

The criteria we used for naming our daughter:

1. Easy to spell
2. Easy to pronouce (our last name is hard enough to pronounce already)
3. Pretty (Girls should have a pretty name.)
4. Won't make people cringe (Hi, meet my daughter Gertrude)
5. Hasn't been used in our family before (OK, since I have around 50 cousins and most of them have kids, this one was difficult.)

I think we did well.

Erma Bombeck once wrote about naming children and said that whatever name you were thinking about, you should stand on your front porch and scream it as loud as you can several times. If you still like it after that, then use it.

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Willravel

I was named William James after a certian jazz musician (not after a famous psycotherapist, like my mom told me). I named my daughter after a famous jazz musician. I don't name her for what I want her to become, I name her what I think she might like. I know my daughter will give her name meaning, not visa versa.

guthmund

No kidding.

I was at a job interview a couple of weeks ago and the fellow interviewing me invited me to sit down. He had my application in hand and as we were sitting down he says, "So......Michael??? Is that it?" and he waited for me to pronounce my own first name.

My cursive is truly something to behold, but my printing is just fine, thank you very much.

As for naming your kids...

That list was, for the most part, spot on. I would only like to add two..

1- No excessive vowels. Naming your kid Aandrea (I kid you not, it was in my local paper's birth announcements) is not an interesting take on an established name. It only proves that you can't spell.

2- Stop trying to "remake" names. Your child doesn't need interesting, twisting, phonetically spelled names like Dwan, DeWayne, Dwain, Duwain, DeWaan, Dewaine or variations thereof such as Duante when the classic will do you just fine. Call him Duane, damn it. He's probably going to have a hard enough time in school without having to spend the extra time in learning how to write his name.

Just a bit more....

My niece's name is Elizabeth MacKenzie (proper spelling and all) and my nephew's name is Jordan Travis. Everyone else calls them Kenzie and Jordan, which isn't too bad, I guess....
I'm just happy that my sister and my mother listened to me and gave them 'normal' names as well in case they opt out of those later in life.

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ngdawg

My biggest concern whilst pregnant was giving those kids names that weren't too goofy for babies, but fine for when they're old. I could NOT imagine an 80 year old named Tracy or Brittany! BLEH! Or a baby named George or Morton(no offense to those George's and Morton's out there!)
Now that they are almost 13, they are not only proud of their names, they correct people who arbitrarily go for the common nicknames.
I agree with Hal-naming a passel of kids similar names, with 'cutesy' connotations does somewhat of a disservice. In working with kids, I noticed a connection between the oddness of name and the general behavior of the child. Difficult students seemed to have truly odd names. This may certainly not be the case in generalities, and, as the population becomes more diverse, names will continue to be even more so.
I do find it interesting how many immigrants, especially those from the far east(China, Korea, especially) adopt plain english names upon coming here and many from south of our borders, especially younger people, americanize their first names while, on the other hand, american-born kids are forced to spell, pronounce and say why their parents chose that moniker, ie: "it means 'pretty blue flower' in Sanskit". Gimme a break, people...

Stug

http://www.babynamesworld.com/

I just found out that my name has the meaning: 'from the dark water'... uh that's nice then!

Personally, I've just recently thought that the girls name: Jacinda would be a pretty name to give to a daughter (if the time ever came), but I'll have changed my mind a few times more, before any bundles of joy toddle my way...

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and so ends the thought process for another day...

KinkyKiwi

lol i dont have kids so i have no idea why i started reading stuff in here..but omg halx you made me crack up... i used to have a friend named cricket and her brother was thyme. i'm so glad my parents werent high as hell hippies when they named me

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snowy

I'm a huge Tolkien fan, so I really want to name at least one of my children after something from the books. Eowyn? No. Arwen? Hah! Everyone would know where her name came from then. Samwise? There are already other Samwises, and I'm sure as hell not naming my son Frodo or Merry or Peregrin. Peregrin? No way.

So last summer, whilst rereading the Simarillion, I came across the name that I will hang on to--Laurelin. It's the name of one of the Two Trees, it sounds remotely normal, and it's not easily identified as being from Tolkien. But I'll know it's from Tolkien. And it's easily shortened to Laurie.

I've always liked boys names for girls as well--I've always wanted to name one of my daughters Ethan. I just think it's a pretty name and appropriate for a girl. I also like men's names that have been feminized--ala Alexandra.

As for boys, I like traditionally sturdy Gaelic names like Aidan and Sean and Declan...and Niall.

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Charlatan

My daughter's name was going to be Eowyn... I am a huge Tolkien fan, my wife rides horses... Eowyn is Old English for Horse Lover.

We ended up not chosing it because of the popularity of the films. We chose the name Zara instead. This was a name my wife liked since she was a little girl.

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Redlemon

Oh, I forgot to add one rule from my wife:

5. No names of ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends.

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Coppertop

Wow, much respect. Rereading the Silmarillion? That's no easy task. I've had a store clerk comment about my heavy reading when I bought The Divine Comedy, but even I have yet to be able to get through the Silmarillion.

edit - Laurelin makes me think of Lorelei from the old German poem. Definitely a name I will be giving a daughter.

FngKestrel

My last name is Fan, and I'm tempted to name my daughter, if I have one, Shi-Ring. Yes, I'm horrible.

Seriously though, I'd probably go for Jasmine or Jade as a name.

snowy

I'm an English major To me reading complicated things is fun--the Divine Comedy is a fantastic example. I love Dante.

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bad jane

oh i have heard some really bad baby names.

how bout, tazmen? like that? let's pair it with...oh...i dunno, heeks? wtf were they thinking?

or the lovely mr. and mrs. fluker (rhymes with fucker) who wanted to name their child after grandpa. boy name? ivan fluker. girl name? ivanna fluker. you'd think with a last name like fluker they'd have some sympathy for their poor child. the only good thing i could say about these people is they had a boy.

my sister met some cute twin boys they had great names! lemonjello (le-mon-ja-lo) and orangejello (or-awn-ja-lo).

but my favorite was a couple who were having a little girl. nurse walks in and asks if they've decided on a name yet, know what they picked out? placenta. isn't that beautiful? nothing like naming your child afterbirth. thankfully the nurse told a nice quick lie and let them know in the state of pa it is illegal to name your child after a body part--while it was a beautiful name, they'd have to choose something else. you will never believe what they came up with! give up? jane.

i understand parents wanting something unique. noone wants to have the same name as everyone else. i just wish some of them would remember that their child will not be a cute little baby forever and they are the ones who have to live with their names.

as for odd spellings--i've learned it doesn't matter how normal the name is, people are so used to the "unique" names and spellings people are handing out to their kids they won't get it right anyway.

and to whoever posted the bad baby name website--LOVED IT!

ngdawg

A friend of mine was a nurse in a neonatal unit. One woman named her daughter 'Areola'. The nurses tried really hard to talk her out of naming her kid after a nipple-but she insisted.

tecoyah

We decided to be short and sweet....but give the Kids names a common thread

Double A's

Maya
Sagan
Anya

its the middle names that went a bit "hippie"

Raven
Dreigh
Wren


But usually....you dont tell anyone your middle name until they know you anyway

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Amnesia620

*Sigh* Ashton is a Boys name...to me, and a few others, doesn't even sound like a girls name...I wish people would get it out of their head to name their daughters Ashton...

"...You hear that, Mister Anderson...that is the sound of...inevitability."

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Charlatan

Both of my kids ended up with multiple middle names...

My son's middle names are Sebastien Stevenson... we just liked Sebastien and Stevenson is because he is my son. He has my wife's surname.

My daughter has Jehanne Frances Joyce for middle names... It was just supposed to be the first two but my mother, Joyce, wanted her name in there... I don't see any problem with having a litany of middle names. Jehanne (pronounced Jane, it's the old French way of spelling) is one of my wife's favourite names and also the name of my dead aunt, Frances is my wife's mother's name.

I agree with Tecoyah that you don't tell your middle name to anyone until you really know them anyway.

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shakran

I agree with what's-his-name Naming your kids dumbassed names is not going to help them in the long. . or short. . run.

Bossnass

Not sure it really fits here, but I kind of know triplets.

Named "April, May, and June".

Their mom's name is August. They complained about their names back in high school. Well, about a month ago, June gave birth to twins.

And she named them "Summer and Autum'

Amnesia620

Sadly, I'm guilty of being one who wanted (and maybe still wants to) name her daughter Winter. Now, that's a pretty name...but something about fridgid b*tch comes to mind...

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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

shakran

If you have to assign stupid names to something, do it to your pets, who won't care.

A photog I know adopted 2 dogs while covering the Olympics and named 'em "Enbee" and "See." I thought that was pretty clever

Sage

Woo... I must say the most interesting thing I've ever seen was "Messiah"

Yup, nothing like singling your kid out to be the resurrected Lord and Savior to put a little pressure on him to succeed...

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bad jane

after checking out that baby name site, and hearing names other children have to live with--your daughter could do sooo much worse!

Amnesia620

How true. I'm grateful I'm not into the name Petunia, Gertrude or Eugenia. Good grief. I appreciate my name more and more....

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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620