Who Am I? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

FailedEagle · 12-23-2004, 09:40 PM

I am 21, a young'un, merely started my walk through life. My faith has been with me the whole way however.

At the age of 4, my father was diagnosed with acute lymphosetic leukemeia. By 11 he had passed away. By that time I had been baptised, (age of 8). While everyone else was sad and mourning I felt nothing. My sister went hysterical, but I just remained calm. As I look back, I don't know if it was because of my faith and knowing that he was in a better place where he couldn't be in anymore pain or if it was because I felt empty, not feeling anything towards him or God.

I was raised in a rural community with exceptionally conservative parents. After we moved, and began to try to fit in to our new community and I met new friends. I immediatly noticed a difference. They talked back to their parents, did what they wanted (within reason, we were only 11).

I felt like if they were allowed to do it, I should be able to. So I began to develop my own mind and started to talk back to my mother, did what I wanted and such. It drove her crazy, we'd have huge fights all the time. This continued until around my junior or senior year in high school. I guess it was then when I had my "revelation".

I decided I wanted to know more about our faith and religion. I looked at the Bible and began to read it and attempt to interpret it. I began to have the mindset of does this make sense, is it possible, why do people not believe, and questions of that nature. I began to question even the existense of a superior being.

With my research I have developed a relationship with God and his son than I ever could have imagined. Through this new found relationship I have developed a new outlook on life.

I used to worry all the time and now I realize that me being concerned about things that are out of my control I need not worry about. A good example of this is my mother worrying about me being out at 2-3-4 o'clock in the morning. Worrying doesn't do anything except stress you out. I have learned to put everything in God's hand's. I figure he can control everything, after all he did create the earth. If something happens, it is for a purpose. I do have a pretty open mind on everything and I always weigh things up against the Bible. I feel as though that's the one true source that we have been given and thus is the only thing we can rely on. It is perfect cover to cover.

I do have friends who disagree with this, but since it is the sole thing to rely to for our faith, I have the utmost confidance and belief that it is the inspired word of God.

My beliefs are very close to the Primitive Baptists, so that is the church I continue to attend. I am sorry to hear about some people who refuse to believe, as well as I am sorry to hear about those that are lead blindly. As for salvation, as most I believe in Salvation through faith alone. If you believe in Christ as your savior and God in your heart. (It requires more than just saying it. You must believe it) Then my friends you are heaven bound.

Thank you for your time and for reading my little rant.

Peace

Livia Regina · 12-23-2004, 11:01 PM

What about those who are unable to believe?

FailedEagle · 12-23-2004, 11:20 PM

I guess I'm confused by your question. Unable to believe? Do you mean unwilling?

12-23-2004, 11:31 PM

Their is no need for you to feel sorry for me, I do not refuse to belive. I see no need to belive.

I have faith in myself and my existance. This existance is the only truth I know and I must take responsiblity for the act of creation for myself. I can not be as complacent as to rely on Allah to care for me.

Finding purpose is important, It is wonderful for anyone to derive meaning from their existance. My lifetime is now, here is everything. Everything, will cease to exist with me. It is undifinable.

Livia Regina · 12-23-2004, 11:34 PM

Unwilling implies choice. Unable does not.
Some people cannot believe in something which makes no sense to them.

12-23-2004, 11:35 PM

Is the question was Who I am?

I don't know who you are. I am a byproduct of genetic replication. My bodies purpose is to reproduce and continue the existance of a genetic pool for D.N.A. Unlucky for it I grew a conciousness and now can define my own purpose.

Lak · 12-24-2004, 01:33 AM

The threads title was a question - is this a question you're asking?
It seems to me that you've already answered it, or at least a decent amount of it. You seem to know yourself quite well, and I think that this can't be anything but healthy.
My friend said to me the other week:
"So, I suppose by now you've heard that I'm gay." and I said
"No, I hadn't, but good on you."

I think any step toward identifying yourself is a step in the right direction.
I am pleased that you've made so much progress. Indeed, you're probably doing a lot better than most people I know...

12-24-2004, 05:37 AM

Quote:

I am sorry to hear about some people who refuse to believe, as well as I am sorry to hear about those that are lead blindly. As for salvation, as most I believe in Salvation through faith alone. If you believe in Christ as your savior and God in your heart. (It requires more than just saying it. You must believe it) Then my friends you are heaven bound.

That's very sweet of you FailedEagle. I'm not sure why you posted this, or what sort of answers and comments you might be expecting. I figure you simply want to express your faith, and the straightforward, comforting stability it provides in an otherwise difficult and challenging world.

qweds · 12-24-2004, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia Regina

What about those who are unable to believe?

Livia, If you're interested/Have the time, an American philosopher, William James wrought a brief essay on precisely this topic. Ie, whether or not for you or anyone 'belief' is a "live option". Anyway it's well worth the read and you can find a free copy through Google.

William James
The Will to Believe

[LINK]http://falcon.jmu.edu/~omearawm/ph101willtobelieve.html[/LINK]

Quote:

Let us give the name of hypothesis to anything that may be proposed to our belief; and just as the electricians speak of live and dead wires, let us speak of any hypothesis as either live or dead A live hypothesis is one which appeals as a real possibility to him to whom it is proposed. If I ask you to believe in the Mahdi, the notion makes no electric connection with your nature

My utmost apologies if i quoted/linked wrong here, I am, unfortunately, only a deficient human

FailedEagle · 12-26-2004, 06:08 PM

I posted this for a couple of reasons, I wanted to begin browsing these forums and replying but I felt like before that happened I needed to give a little background of who I am and where my perspective is coming from. Also, I felt like getting that a bit off of my chest. I wanted to profess my beliefs and hopefully get a little feedback about your opinions on them. I went to a message board that was over on newsmax.com, that is no longer there and when posting in their "Philosophy" section, it was like rabid dogs attempting to tear my posts apart. My feeling has always been to attempt to build up not tear down.

Drayab · 12-26-2004, 06:30 PM

Well, good for you. Seriously. I think I understand the kind of peace of mind that religion could bring. Too bad I've never been able to bring myself to honestly believe. There was actually a time, around my sophmore year in college, where I spent time wondering whether or not I was born without something that other people had. I never did come up with a good answer; at some point I stopped worrying about it.

Going to a private baptist university can leave a young atheist feeling a little left out.

qweds · 12-29-2004, 11:45 AM

drayab, you too might want to give that James essay a read, might at least answer some questions

Master_Shake · 12-30-2004, 10:16 AM

The late Gene Siskel used to say that there's no point in arguing about Comedy or Pornography; it either works for you or it doesn't. I think we should add religion to that group. For some people religion makes them feel better. Personally, it doesn't make me feel any better to pretend there's meaning to the pointless drudgery of working for the man and waiting to die.

In fact, the lyrics of Pink Floyd always gave me warmth at night:

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
everyone you meet
All that you slight
everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

I don't know how you take that, but to me it means that it doesn't matter how many hookers I get, how many poor children I refuse to send money to feed, how much liquor or illegal drugs I consume, or how many other bad things I do. A fucking tsunami can wipe out 100,000 people overnight. My pornography addiction seems pretty insignificant next to something like that.

Hey, as long as religious folk aren't firebombing my home, taking my money, drafting me into a holy crusade or preventing me from getting a six-pack and a hooker, I've no problem with them.

12-23-2004, 09:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
FailedEagle Crazy	Who Am I? I am 21, a young'un, merely started my walk through life. My faith has been with me the whole way however. At the age of 4, my father was diagnosed with acute lymphosetic leukemeia. By 11 he had passed away. By that time I had been baptised, (age of 8). While everyone else was sad and mourning I felt nothing. My sister went hysterical, but I just remained calm. As I look back, I don't know if it was because of my faith and knowing that he was in a better place where he couldn't be in anymore pain or if it was because I felt empty, not feeling anything towards him or God. I was raised in a rural community with exceptionally conservative parents. After we moved, and began to try to fit in to our new community and I met new friends. I immediatly noticed a difference. They talked back to their parents, did what they wanted (within reason, we were only 11). I felt like if they were allowed to do it, I should be able to. So I began to develop my own mind and started to talk back to my mother, did what I wanted and such. It drove her crazy, we'd have huge fights all the time. This continued until around my junior or senior year in high school. I guess it was then when I had my "revelation". I decided I wanted to know more about our faith and religion. I looked at the Bible and began to read it and attempt to interpret it. I began to have the mindset of does this make sense, is it possible, why do people not believe, and questions of that nature. I began to question even the existense of a superior being. With my research I have developed a relationship with God and his son than I ever could have imagined. Through this new found relationship I have developed a new outlook on life. I used to worry all the time and now I realize that me being concerned about things that are out of my control I need not worry about. A good example of this is my mother worrying about me being out at 2-3-4 o'clock in the morning. Worrying doesn't do anything except stress you out. I have learned to put everything in God's hand's. I figure he can control everything, after all he did create the earth. If something happens, it is for a purpose. I do have a pretty open mind on everything and I always weigh things up against the Bible. I feel as though that's the one true source that we have been given and thus is the only thing we can rely on. It is perfect cover to cover. I do have friends who disagree with this, but since it is the sole thing to rely to for our faith, I have the utmost confidance and belief that it is the inspired word of God. My beliefs are very close to the Primitive Baptists, so that is the church I continue to attend. I am sorry to hear about some people who refuse to believe, as well as I am sorry to hear about those that are lead blindly. As for salvation, as most I believe in Salvation through faith alone. If you believe in Christ as your savior and God in your heart. (It requires more than just saying it. You must believe it) Then my friends you are heaven bound. Thank you for your time and for reading my little rant. Peace __________________ Head over to Nonsense to sign up for the newest round Of the Trivial Racing Image Game. Hurry.

12-23-2004, 11:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Livia Regina Crazy	What about those who are unable to believe? __________________ Rule 37: There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'

12-23-2004, 11:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
FailedEagle Crazy	I guess I'm confused by your question. Unable to believe? Do you mean unwilling? __________________ Head over to Nonsense to sign up for the newest round Of the Trivial Racing Image Game. Hurry.

12-23-2004, 11:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
Livia Regina Crazy	Unwilling implies choice. Unable does not. Some people cannot believe in something which makes no sense to them. __________________ Rule 37: There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'

12-24-2004, 01:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
Lak Insane Location: New Zealand	The threads title was a question - is this a question you're asking? It seems to me that you've already answered it, or at least a decent amount of it. You seem to know yourself quite well, and I think that this can't be anything but healthy. My friend said to me the other week: "So, I suppose by now you've heard that I'm gay." and I said "No, I hadn't, but good on you." I think any step toward identifying yourself is a step in the right direction. I am pleased that you've made so much progress. Indeed, you're probably doing a lot better than most people I know... __________________ ignorance really is bliss.

12-23-2004, 11:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
NotMVH Guest	Their is no need for you to feel sorry for me, I do not refuse to belive. I see no need to belive. I have faith in myself and my existance. This existance is the only truth I know and I must take responsiblity for the act of creation for myself. I can not be as complacent as to rely on Allah to care for me. Finding purpose is important, It is wonderful for anyone to derive meaning from their existance. My lifetime is now, here is everything. Everything, will cease to exist with me. It is undifinable.

12-23-2004, 11:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
NotMVH Guest	Is the question was Who I am? I don't know who you are. I am a byproduct of genetic replication. My bodies purpose is to reproduce and continue the existance of a genetic pool for D.N.A. Unlucky for it I grew a conciousness and now can define my own purpose.

12-26-2004, 06:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
FailedEagle Crazy	I posted this for a couple of reasons, I wanted to begin browsing these forums and replying but I felt like before that happened I needed to give a little background of who I am and where my perspective is coming from. Also, I felt like getting that a bit off of my chest. I wanted to profess my beliefs and hopefully get a little feedback about your opinions on them. I went to a message board that was over on newsmax.com, that is no longer there and when posting in their "Philosophy" section, it was like rabid dogs attempting to tear my posts apart. My feeling has always been to attempt to build up not tear down. __________________ Head over to Nonsense to sign up for the newest round Of the Trivial Racing Image Game. Hurry.

12-26-2004, 06:30 PM	#11 (permalink)
Drayab Upright Location: Chapel Hill, NC	Well, good for you. Seriously. I think I understand the kind of peace of mind that religion could bring. Too bad I've never been able to bring myself to honestly believe. There was actually a time, around my sophmore year in college, where I spent time wondering whether or not I was born without something that other people had. I never did come up with a good answer; at some point I stopped worrying about it. Going to a private baptist university can leave a young atheist feeling a little left out.

12-29-2004, 11:45 AM	#12 (permalink)
qweds has been Location: Chicago	drayab, you too might want to give that James essay a read, might at least answer some questions __________________ tim(mah)

12-30-2004, 10:16 AM	#13 (permalink)
Master_Shake Addict Location: Pennsylvania, USA	The late Gene Siskel used to say that there's no point in arguing about Comedy or Pornography; it either works for you or it doesn't. I think we should add religion to that group. For some people religion makes them feel better. Personally, it doesn't make me feel any better to pretend there's meaning to the pointless drudgery of working for the man and waiting to die. In fact, the lyrics of Pink Floyd always gave me warmth at night: All that you touch All that you see All that you taste All you feel. All that you love All that you hate All you distrust All you save. All that you give All that you deal All that you buy, beg, borrow or steal. All you create All you destroy All that you do All that you say. All that you eat everyone you meet All that you slight everyone you fight. All that is now All that is gone All that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. I don't know how you take that, but to me it means that it doesn't matter how many hookers I get, how many poor children I refuse to send money to feed, how much liquor or illegal drugs I consume, or how many other bad things I do. A fucking tsunami can wipe out 100,000 people overnight. My pornography addiction seems pretty insignificant next to something like that. Hey, as long as religious folk aren't firebombing my home, taking my money, drafting me into a holy crusade or preventing me from getting a six-pack and a hooker, I've no problem with them. __________________ ------------- You know something, I don't think the sun even... exists... in this place. 'Cause I've been up for hours, and hours, and hours, and the night never ends here.