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Old 09-27-2004, 09:20 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Hoosier State
Raising multi-lingual kids

Hello all,

I was wondering how you guys raised your kids in a multi-lingual family? My wife and I are first generation immigrants with two boys that were born in the States. Our 3 year old understands three languages but only responds to English. How do you raise your kids so they don't become foreign to their parents' "mother tongue"?

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Old 09-27-2004, 09:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
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If you are putting your kids in daycare have you looked for a daycare that speaks your mother tongue?

My 3-year-old is in a foreign language immersion program and has been in there since she was about 18-months-old. She speaks Spanish and English.
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Old 09-27-2004, 09:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: NJ
I am not a parent (and FWIW I'm not from a multilingual home) but my fiancee grew up in a househould with her mom (and two adopted siblings) primarily speaking Korean. She was not encouraged to speak it, in fact she was probably discouraged from it because her mother wanted her to fit in with her classmates. At the time of her birth, Vietnam was over for about a year and there was still a lot of racism towards those who looked Asian. Perhaps this made her life a little easier but it didn't make it easy. She understands a lot of Korean and speaks a little but she is not fluent.

This stands in stark contrast to how her brother and sister-in-law are raising their two Korean children. They encourage them to speak Korean almost entirely at home and at church. One daughter is already pretty fluent in both English and Korean (at 6 years old) and the other is on her way to understanding and speaking both very well (at 4 years old). Their opinion is that deeper understanding of English is pretty much guaranteed from their experience(s) at school and with friends so they focus as much as they can on Korean while at home. The only problem is that Alison (the 6 year old) is very self-conscious about speaking Korean when non-Koreans are around. She was blown away when a very American (read white) looking family friend spoke to her only in Korean (he was stationed there while in the Army). I think she'll grow out of the embarrasment but even if she doesn't she will have an advantage over many other American children.

I absolutely believe kids should be encouraged to learn a second or third language as it gives them more options and keeps them more connected to their roots. Kids will naturally be embarrassed by something that makes them different from everyone else but I think we're in a much more understanding time and whatever you can do to instill pride in their ancestry would help.
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Old 09-27-2004, 12:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: London
i was brought up speaking both english and german and know other people who where also. The common thing that runs through us is we either speak to one parent in one language and the other parent another. Failing that when the kids are really young and just learning how to speak whenever you say something to them you repeat in both languages.

i hope this helps. it my plan to bring up my kids in the same way when i get some.

most of all make it fun when they're young and try to keep it going when they hit their teens (had particular problem with keeping interest in a foreign language when i hit the teenage years- managed to get through it thankfully) .
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Old 09-27-2004, 05:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Hoosier State
Thanks for all your inputs. My wife is fluent in 3 Chinese dialects plus Malay, I speak two Chinese dialects myself. We speak mainly English and Mandarin Chinese at home plus some Hakka, which, is my wife's native tongue.

My niece is 4 yrs old and is fluent in three languages, she knows to talk to her dad in English (he is an English-American) and to grandma in Chinese only. I want to raise my kids so they can utilize the languages effectively as they grow up.

It's tougher for them because they stay at the homecare which is English speaking only. My elder one responds to Chinese and English but only replies in English. I just don't want him to become a typical ABC - America Born Chinese.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town
This may not apply to your situation exactly, but I knew a couple in which one was a native-English speaker who also spoke Spanish, and the other was a native-Spanish-speaker who also spoke English. How they worked it was that the native-English-speaker always spoke English with the kids, and required an English answer, while the native-Spanish-speaker always spoke Spanish with the kids, and required Spanish answers.

So, maybe your kids get English in the outside world -- you must ensure that they get enough to be truly fluent -- and you and your wife each communicate with them in different languages -- maybe you in Mandarin, her in Hakka, or whatever you decide. And don't take any answers from the kids except in the appropriate languages.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:42 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town
This may not apply to your situation exactly, but I was told of a married couple, both college professors, in which one was a native-English speaker who also spoke Spanish, and the other was a native-Spanish-speaker who also spoke English. And they wanted their children to be as perfectly bilingual as possible.

How they worked it was that the native-English-speaker always spoke English with the kids, and required an English answer, while the native-Spanish-speaker always spoke Spanish with the kids, and required Spanish answers.

So, maybe your kids get English in the outside world -- you must ensure that they get enough to be truly fluent -- and you and your wife each communicate with them in different languages -- maybe you in Mandarin, her in Hakka, or whatever you decide. And don't take any answers from the kids except in the appropriate languages. You might end up with some interesting two- or three-language family conversations, but supposedly it worked.
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