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This may not apply to your situation exactly, but I knew a couple in which one was a native-English speaker who also spoke Spanish, and the other was a native-Spanish-speaker who also spoke English. How they worked it was that the native-English-speaker always spoke English with the kids, and required an English answer, while the native-Spanish-speaker always spoke Spanish with the kids, and required Spanish answers.
So, maybe your kids get English in the outside world -- you must ensure that they get enough to be truly fluent -- and you and your wife each communicate with them in different languages -- maybe you in Mandarin, her in Hakka, or whatever you decide. And don't take any answers from the kids except in the appropriate languages.
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