Jennteel

I am looking for any ideas for creative discipline. My son is going on 9 and I have used every method of discipline I can think of that is legal. He has severe ADHD and takes medication. He goes through operiods of extreme disobediance. It's like he tries to see how much he can upset the family. He gets suspended from school more than the average child. Restriction does not help anymore. We have taken away all his electronics. He has been though counceling and been to a specialist. I am at my end of the rope and would like to hear any ideas of some creative discipline that perhaps might help me out.

StickODynomite

Hmmm my brother has ADHD as well and we took him off his meds (he became very aggressive and had temper outbursts) and my stepdad would treat him more like a little child the more he misbehaved (put him in a corner for a couple of hours, couldn't sit, or lean on the wall, or made him write on a piece of paper.. i will not... yada yada.. 400 times or so). I dont know if this is "creative" but i know what you're dealing with and that's how we dealt with him. (We also took away his electronics and kept him in his room all day w/ only potty breaks and he had to eat dinner in his room alone)...there may be websites that could help you find something more "creative"... sorry i couldn't be more help !

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"The human mind is like a parachute, it works best when open."

StickODynomite

Hmmmm maybe if he's involved in sports it'll help out.. ? My brother is doing great now, he's on the soccer team and he's doing good in school..he's behaving much more (especially after the punishment he got for taking the car out!).. he's 15 now though, it may take time

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"The human mind is like a parachute, it works best when open."

Jennteel

Thanks for the reply. I don't know why I didn't think about the writing thing. My mother made me do that when I was a child and I hated it. And we are looking into sports for him. Thing is he gets into fights and I am always afraid to take him to functions like that. Heck for about 4 years we could not take him to a dine in restaurant because oh his behavior.

Amethyst

Have you looked into love and logic? At my daughters school they had a parenting classes and it was how to parent using love and logic. Some of the stuff I didn't agree with and some of it made perfect sense. They have a website loveandlogic.com.
If you have any questions just pm me. It's worth a try.

:::OshnSoul:::

Dr. Phil?

well, there are always other options- other answers. Sit and brainstorm. Talk with a therapist yourself before you break down.

sexymama

Jim Faye and Foster Cline (of Love and Logic) have an excellent series on dealing with ADHD kids. I raised one myself. He was a challenge -- but I made it through it -- yea! Basically we let natural and logical consequences take their corse. At one point, he was threatening me and little sister -- so he and dad had to move out. They lived in an apt. with no phone, tv or other electronics and slept on the floor. That taught him a lot! Once he tore the entire closet organizer we had just put in, out. He had to buy the supplies to fix it and had to help replace it. He had a paper route, which helped financially, used a lot of his energy and led to him working at "regular" jobs when he was just 16. Having his own money helped a lot.

Also, you may want to revisit what meds. your son is on, if any. There are a lot of options out there. If one is not working, try another. And don't let a doctor "bully" you into anything that isn't comfortable with you.

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frolichoek

I also wondered if sports could be a good answer. My son drives me crazy in the baseball off season. Having that structure in his life of going to practices, games, team gatherings, etc. really seems to help him get his act together. Granted, he isn't an extreme case like yours seems to be, but it can't hurt to try. Just make sure to pick a sport where he can be involved in the game. Baseball might not be the best option, as you do a lot of standing around waiting. Basketball and soccer seem to be good choices for keeping him involved.

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Coll Storm

I work with a few kids that have ADHD, and to be honest with you... they can't really help it, but they'll use it to their advantage if you let them.

Yes, they have a problem, but once they know that it can become a tool for them to use, they'll use it to their advantage. In other words... if people think they're going to screw up, be off the wall, and cause general chaos & terror... they'll do so, because that's what they think is expected of them.

My advice to you: Turn off the anger when he does something wrong, and ignore it. Once he understands that he's not getting that "certain" reaction that he can expect from his parents, then all of a sudden he might change his way of thinking.

You can take everything in the world away from him, but he's not going to care, because you've probably have done that countless times, and he's used to it. Try a new method... something that he wouldn't expect.

maleficent

That's so true.
I have a five year old niece, blonde hair, blue eyes, cute as anything (to those that don't know her) and a holy terror. She and her brother were over at my house a few weeks a back, and she didnt get her way and started to throw a tantrum, a tantrum to end all tantrums. Her brother and I walked into the kitchen and sat at the table and played with lego. Not five minutes later she walks into the dining room, and says, hands on hips, "weren't you watching me?". No, (I'm a very bad auntie) I told her, I wasn't but when she decided to behave again, i'd be happy to watch her again. She was tantrum free for the weekend. When my niece acts out, she gets attention from mom.

Sounds like your son realizes the same thing, and is having a hard time distinguishing between good attention and bad attention.

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MSD

Find an outlet for his energy. Try enrolling him in a karate class on the condition that he will follow instructions carefully. See if they'll let you sit on the side for the first few classes and observe him. As an ADHD sufferer, I firmly believe that medication alone will not work. The combination of discipline and an outlet for his energy may be just what he needs to allow the medication to help him get focused.

Mehoni

I have ADHD and when I was younger i used to practice judo. It helped a lot, because it was an outlet for anger, and fun, at the same time.

Plus, you learn to obey.

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There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish.

:::OshnSoul:::

ya, martial arts is a great idea.....that may be worth giving a try

also, do you sit down with him and play educational/memory/concentration games, read, do math or spelling or something?
The best discipline is attention and love.

pinkie

Wow! I’m very impressed by this. What a wonderful decision for a parent to make. Way to take responsibility for your own child! It's a lot better then sending them away for someone else to train for you. Nice work

Slauncha Man

Why not mix the agression-release of martial arts with the sports and put him into wrestling? It's a great way for kids to get out frustration, and it'll teach him discipline too. I learned a lot from my years in the sport, and I'm sure he would too. Plus matches are only six minutes long, which is good for those without attention spans.

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-Slauncha

:::OshnSoul:::

Kids, especially at a young age need the reitteration and definition between such things as wrestling/martial arts and actual fighting. Martial Arts is an actual sport, but it also gives discipline and teachings of honor and respect, not to fight- but to defend when necessary.