raeanna74

Any Mom's out there who have nursed or are nursing their child/children?

I have nursed my daughter and still allow her a "snack" before bedtimes. She is 3 1/2.

What did you call it? Hubby came up with the idea for "snacks" being the name for my boobies.

What kind of experiences have you had? Have you faced much criticism or recieved lots of support?

I only got much criticism from one relative. Hubby and all my other relatives were so supportive. It's been a great experience overall. We did have a bumpy start with my milk taking 7 days to come in and getting thrush within the first month. After that though, it's been smooth sailing and definately worthwhile.

I was nursing my daughter when she was only a couple months old in a little sitting room off the ladies bathroom at a JCPenny's. When I did so in public I always brought a light blanket with me to throw over me shoulder so there was no exposer to offend anyone. It was still easy to guess that I was nursing my baby. A woman stopped on her way out and said "It's so wonderful to see women who are brave enough to nurse there children in public. Thank you."

Any encounters for or against nursing that you've experienced?

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
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pyraxis

A friend of mine who's a nurse told me it's really healthy for the baby to nurse for over a year. Apparently it helps prevent them from developing allergies. Which is something I'm definitely interested in doing if I ever have a child... they're something I've had a lot of problems with myself.

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tecoyah

My wife has been in continuous lactation mode for almost five years now. Maya weaned at about three and 1/2, Sagan still partakes regularly at 2, and Anya took to it right away, she was just born. All our kids are exceptionally healthy(only one cold in almost five years) and I do attribute much of that to brestfeeding.

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:::OshnSoul:::

I had to stop when he was only 3 months, but I was aiming for 6. He was just hungry all the time and I started to go through post-partum depression, so I had to quit. Luckily he is a healthy, growing child.
My sis-in-law, however just weened her 3 yr old son from it before the new baby arrived. My stepdaughter's mother also fed her until she was 3. The drawback of feeding them for that long is that they are larger-sized (bigger-boned) later in life and have really bad growing pains. Also, they become very dependent and clingy. Maybe it's not true for all, but from what I have observed in different cases, the kids can be affected by it in one way or another. It's a risk you can take, but there is nothing wrong with it.

sexymama

I loved breast feeding my daughters! I breast feed both of them until they were 18-months old -- then I wanted my body back.

I have two funny stories.
When my mother-in-law was in the hospital, dying, we were with her 24/7. I was feeding Bailey in the hallway, covered by a blanket. The doctor came out and without pausing, lifted the blanket and asked, "how is the baby doing?" I said, "just fine, thanks." It was no big deal to me; but when he looked down and saw her nursing he stammered, "oh, I'm sorry -- so sorry." It was funny to see this doctor so flustered.

When I had my son breastfeeding was not an option for reasons I will not go into. Because of that, the kids thought for the longest time that mom's only breastfeed daughters. They were shocked when a friend breastfed her son, thus my discovery of their belief. I laughed and laughed at that one.

Although breastfeeding is totally awesome and I will do it again in a heartbeat, it does have its drawbacks. For example, dad has a more difficult time feeding the baby the first few months. My eldest daughter gave me blood blisters she sucked so hard. It is more difficult on a sitter. It is suppose to be healthier; but my son has never had allergies and is also extremely healthy despite not being breastfed. Of course, I always made sure to hold him when he was bottle feeding and I didn't let him hold the bottle himself as that leads to ear infections. I tell the parents I teach, make your own best decision and be comfortable with it.

edit:
I know it is healthier -- I think I'm trying to say not to get totally down on yourself if you are unable to breastfeed. There are other wasy to be healthy with your baby such as by holding him/her every time you feed him/her.

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diddagirl

My friends mom breast fed her little sister until she was 5 years old. In my opinion that is definitly too old to breast feed. She refereed to it as "nummies".

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raeanna74

That's two great stories sexymama. Good for you for nursing so long.
:::OshnSoul::: I don't know about the larger bones issue. I haven't heard of that actually. My daughter doesn't seem very dependant or attached. It all depends on the rest of the parenting practices too I think. She isn't afraid of me leaving her anywhere and content to stay at a sitters where she's never been at the house before. I am free to leave without tears usually. She is only 3 1/2 now.

As for the health benefits. Scientists have found "micronutrients" in breastmilk that are so numerous they have not identified them all. They cannot completely duplicate the beneficial properties in formula. Breastmilk has antibacterial properties even into the 3rd and 4th year that fight the bacterias in the mouth that cause tooth decay. There are antibodies in breastmilk that help the child fight off infection even into the later years.

I had one child in my home day care for a while who's mother was still nursing. By arrangement I was also his wet nurse while he was being cared for by me so he was able to continue nursing and she was able to go back to work part time. I had been already nursing my 1 yr old at the time and my milk supply just jumped up to meet the demand for the both of them.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

PorscheBunny

I stopped nursing Helen at one year. I did have some extra breastmilk already frozen, so she had a gradual transition (over a three week span) from human to cow milk during her 14th month (one month human, one week 3/4 human 1/4 cow, then half and half, then 3/4 cow and 1/4 human, and finally to stright whole cow milk. Of course, having a breast pump really helped with this, so that I could have milk stockpiled for weaning.

After the milk stopped, Helen liked using "the girls" for a nice soft pillow. Her reasurrance spot is with her forehead on my sternum directly between my breasts.

My mother was anti-supportive. She even said at one point that breastfeeding was unnatural. (When she said that, I simply hung up the phone and didn't speak to her for 3 months. There's no reasoning with someone that closed-minded and ignorant.) Helen's other grandmother said she wished she had breastfed, but all the doctors at that time were telling women that formula was better.

My milk came in on day 3. (Put a bell on me, dress me up like a Gateway box, and call me Bossie.) I never did nurse in public. It's not that I'm shy, I just preferred it to be only me and Helen at those times. Besides, if you want to see, gimme money and I'll display "my wares".

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CinnamonGirl

I'm not a parent yet, but I plan on being one...one of my good friends has two children, and didn't breastfeed either one because she said she didn't want to "wreck" her breasts. I'm a good three sizes bigger than she is, and I plan on breastfeeding. How much of an effect does it have on larger breasts? (I'm not worried about the effect, as I definitely want to, but I'm curious...)

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sexymama

When you stop breastfeeding they will return to your "prepregency" size or one cup size larger. Sometimes they get stretch marks; but it is well worth a few marks!

I think the major thing to remember is that sometimes it does take awhile for the milk to come in. Don't let doctors or other well meaning people tell you this is bad for the baby, that s/he is starving . . . Hang in, and it will come in and in the long run it is much better! Best of luck to you.

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

PorscheBunny

In my case, they went down about 1/2 a size. My pre-pregnancy bras (38D) were snug and now they're a little bit loose.

The milk will come. Baby has a reserve of food and water at birth to make sure. If the milk didn't come at some point, none of us would be here.

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Averett

Well, here's the childless woman's opinion on breastfeeding. Personally I don't think it's right to breastfeed past the age of 1 or so. Once again, these are my own personal feelings, do what you'd like with your own kids.

I dunno, my cousin breastfed until her kid was 5. It was damn unnearving to be over there and the kid would say "I want titty!" Thats what she would say!!!

I also can't stand to see 2 year olds walking around with a baby bottle.

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tecoyah

Your perspective is common amongst those without kids. Nursing to the age of 1 certainly beats formula from the start. I am actually a Dad not a Mom, but have researched the benefits of mothers milk to some extent. No negatives at all from a physical standpoint, but inumerable benefits.
As far as societal discomforts, more power to ya'. I think once you actually see and "feel " your child, anything that takes away from the well bieng and health of that child goes out the window.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Dano069

My wife breast fed all our kids until about 18 months or so. She continued to breast feed me well after that however.

Seriously though, all 3 of our kids are very smart and healthy. We give credit to the breastfeeding.

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gibingus

breastfeeding is great. the reason they call it formula is becuase it is still not technolgcially possible to replicate human breast milk. the reasons above are all true and valid.

from what we have understood from medical professionals and credible reference works, you have got all the health benefits of breast feeding by 12 -18 months. after that, the physical value is up to debate. the psychological effects are also debated, quite hotly.

we opted to wean at the first birthday, and it was a personal choice for my wife who was ready to be done with it. i support her in everything.

the norm for breast size is that it goes down once the glands shrink after milk production. since they got bigger when the glands swelled up, breasts tend to sag a bit from the stretching. that's the norm, at least, but we all know how things are different for everyone.

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Devilinmypants

I'm not a mom but have a question realting to not having your milk come in for a few days after your baby is born. Do you feed them formula until the milk comes in? I think if this happened to me I wouldn't be able to wait because I would feel like I was starving my baby.

Oh yeah, I'm on my bf's account. I just realized it and am too lazy to log out and sign in on mine. -em1014

tecoyah

Actually, this is relatively common. The colostrum(initial milk supply) that comes in sometimes takes several days to flow in quantity, this will have little to no effect on a healthy child. This is a very concentrated form of mothers milk and has immesurable benefits for a new baby. If you start a baby on a bottle you seriously lower the chance of successful breastfeeding, as the latch is entirely different and the baby becomes confused.
My wife had a difficult time with our first child(Maya) and almost gave up after four days.....this was one of the few times I made a serious request of her. Two days later we had a great latch and plentiful milk supply. To this day she thanks me for insisting we keep trying, as our kids have gained wonderful benefits from breastfeeding.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

floydthebarber

My wife nursed both our kids for about 18 months. I have friends that went straight to the bottle and regreted it after a few weeks. The fact that we didn't have to carry bottles, buy formula and store it was sure handy.
Like others have said, it took a bit of time for her to get the nursing down and for her milk to come in, but once she did it was a piece of cake.

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1337haxor

I'm not a mom, or a dad. In fact I am a single 18 year old male
I was the only one amongst my siblings that were breastfed. From reading posts, from magazines/book, from school, and personal observation, breastfeeding is a component to raising a healthy child. It's not the only thing, but can be a big factor if other things are lacking. All my siblings have allergies, but usually don't have any problems. I've also read many things that points to breast milk being important in the development of the brain in early childhood. My parents tell me that as children, I was always the one that learned the fastest and the most.
I see breastfeeding as something important in growing babies; or why else would it be in nature? Synthetic chemicals can never reproduce such a complex mixture of nutrients. When I have kids, I would hope my wife would be someone willing to breastfeed since I would only want the best for my kids. Just my two cents.

-Robert

raeanna74

My milk did not come in for 7 days. There were several factors involved including, medication affecting both my daughter and myself, and poor latch with my daughter. The hospital I was at was connected with Mayo Clinic and my Dr had been trained there. The hospital was very sympathetic to nursing and supported me every step of the way. They provided a lactation consultant who helped me correct my daughter's latch problem. My daughter had lost a pound of weight in the 3 days we were there (C-section) and they were concerned as that was a little more than is common. They asked me if they could suppliment her feeding and use a medicine cup to do so instead of a bottle or syringe. The cup would not interfer with her latch or confuse her then. The lactation consultant hooked me up with a short term supply of formula and a breastfeeding supplimenter that I used for the remainder of the days it took for my milk to come in. By the time My daughter went in for her first check up she had gained her lb back and then some. The supplimenter did not interfer or replace her nursing. I would wait till she was latched on and then slide the end of the tiny tube in the side of her mouth against my breast. Often I would tape it there then. Sometimes this took a little help from my husband or mom. Then as she nursed I would push formula from the tube. She got used to getting milk "from me" and I still got the stimulation necessary to get my milk supply going. It's an ingenuous tool and adoptive mom's who've never nursed before can even use it to stimulate milk supply so they can nurse the adopted child.

If it's only for 3-4 days before the milk comes in you don't have to worry about making sure they get supplimented because they normally loose a little less than a lb after birth whether they breastfeed or use formula. As tecoyah said colostrum is very concentrated and they get all the nutrients they need.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

maxhooters

In my opnion if the child is asking (in words) for the breast then it is time to stop feeding them with the breast. try some solid foods. it makes me sick to see 2 and 3 or older breastfeeding. Dont get me wrong I dont think there is anything wrong with a infant breast feeding but you have to draw a line some where

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anti fishstick

yeah it's a little unnerving to see toddlers whining and depending on breast feeding when they want, whenever they want. i see this on public transportation and i saw this with my cousin. it almost makes me think that the toddler is more in control than the parent, at that point.. when they're demanding for "titty"

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raeanna74

I agree letting a toddler have a "snack" from Mom whenever they want isn't too cool. My daughter is 3 1/2 She still nurses some. Only when it's bedtime though and then not all the time. I won't allow her a snack in public or just anytime during the day. She's learned it's only for snuggle/bedtime SOMETIMES and she rarely asks for it any other time. She's not been allowed to beg for it in public since she was much over 1 yr so she doesn't make other uncomfortable. When done right I see no problem with it. My Dr thinks it's wonderful she's still got that to lean on and it's helped her health wise when she's been sick. When she had the stomach flu, breastmilk was the ONLY fluid she could keep down. She couldn't even handle water. I think that was party because she'd gulp the water if I didn't watch her close but with nursing she only got sips sortof.

I just talked to my day care mom who is expecting. She would like to nurse her daughter but doesn't want to have to pump and store several times a day. We discussed me being a "wetnurse" and it looks like she'll want it. I will see what I can to do to draw up a paper for permission since I don't want any questions or problems. It will help the baby stick with her latch better in the beginning (we are planning for her to go back to work a couple hours a week within just a week or two of the birth) and also take some of the work off mom since she'll only have to pump some to help with her production. She won't have to store the milk. I've done this once before and it worked wonderfully.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

tecoyah

Gotta say....considering your user name, I am not at all suprised you take issue with breastfeeding. You might consider that a womans breast is not just a sexual object for you to look at though. Breast feeding is probably one of the healthiest things you will EVER do for a child and should not be discontinued for the benefit of someones personal sensibilities.
Each child will breastfeed until he/she is ready to stop, or the parents decide it is time.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

agball

I think you are pushing the envolope a little bit. Time to cut it off. Is this more for you pleasure or the child?

We bottle fed our kids from birth and I believe the immunity idea to be a myth. Both my kids are quite healthy & rarely get sick.

tecoyah

You are, of course free to believe as you choose. The science however, does show definate benefit to mothers milk over formula.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

orange monkeyee

I was a breastfed baby. all my 3 sibilings were and we're all big and healthy people. All four of us ( my sibilings and I ) are over 6 feet tall ( yeah, my sisters are tall) and healthy. Breastfeeding is the only real way to raise a kid from my viewpoint.

agball

I see "tecoyah" knows everything, so I wont bother putting anymore comments in this post!!

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tecoyah

I am sorry if any offense was felt, as none was intended. Of all the forums on this site, this one should be the last to see insensitivity. I regret my posts, and will be more careful in the future.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

maxhooters

Once again "tecoyah" knows all!!!!! for your info not that i have to give it to you. My real name is Max and my last name Begins with HOOT. growing up my friends called me hooters because of that. So if you think that is sick or preverted then sorry. It is no way in referance to the Breast.

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raeanna74

Maxhooters and Agball - Please end the negativity.

Tecoyah apologized for any offense already.

I intended this thread as support for breastfeeding and also to share information. Not to critique the choice.

When we speak of breastfeeding past the first year we are usually speaking of it in terms of nursing on occaision, not as a sole source of food. There is medical evidence to support the fact that breastmilk does help the child's immunity to certain illnesses. They have found antibodies in the mother's breastmilk as her body responds to any illness she is exposed to. They don't innoculate the child as a vaccination does but they do help the child fight infection.

"Breast-fed babies have fewer illnesses because human milk transfers to the infant a mother's antibodies to disease. About 80 percent of the cells in breast milk are macrophages, cells that kill bacteria, fungi and viruses. Breast-fed babies are protected, in varying degrees, from a number of illnesses, including pneumonia, botulism, bronchitis, staphylococcal infections, influenza, ear infections, and German measles. Furthermore, mothers produce antibodies to whatever disease is present in their environment, making their milk custom-designed to fight the diseases their babies are exposed to as well." http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/895_brstfeed.html

Please, if you aren't sure about things go ahead an ask but don't be so negative. Thank you.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

agball

No problem all are forgiven - Carry on!!

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tecoyah

Well this is unfortunate....I honestly meant no offense, and had hoped this forum would be a change from the "debate" forums in here, Guess I was wrong.

Enjoy the bliss of parenting everyone, as it is the reason for life, and brings out the very best in us all.

I think I will stick to the forums where I "seek" confrontation, and am willing to put up with ridicule, What a bummer, this forum was such a good Idea.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Astrocloud

So do women like breastfeeding? What's it feel like? Is it sexual? I've heard it was but you can't believe everything you hear.

raeanna74

Most women who stick with breastfeeding for 6 months do enjoy it. It fosters a level of sweet intimacy with the mother and child. The mother feels as though she is really needed by the child.

To begin with it can often be a bumpy ride for mothers. Especially first time breastfeeders. Personally I got extremely sore for a couple reasons. 1. my daughter didn't learn to latch on right away. 2. my milk didn't come in for 7 days because I was on heavy duty pain killers and because of my daughters poor latch. This resulted in my getting particularly sore. I even got to the point where my nipples were cracked and bleeding and yet if I wanted to persist in breastfeeding I had to allow my daughter to latch on every couple hours at least. It was extremely painful and brought tears to my eyes for a time until my milk came in and my nipples healed. It was only a little while later that my daughter got thrush and so did I. Which once again made my nipples sore, cracked and bleeding. This rough start meant that I went for a month with 8-10 feedings a day that were at best mildly uncomfortable and at worst extremely painful. That wasn't a sexual experience or even pleasant for me physically to begin with. I was convinced that this would be the best course for my child and was determined to stick with it despite the discomfort. Once things healed it was smooth sailing.

As for it being sexual - It really isn't, beyond the chemistry of things. I never felt any sexual turn on toward my child or anything. When a breastfeeding mother nurses her body responds with chemicals that stimulate the production of milk, letdown(when the milk is first released each time the child nurses), and contraction of the uterus so that things will go back to their normal size and shape more rapidly. One of the main chemicals that is released is oxytocin. This chemical is also released when a women experiences orgasm. Sometimes during the first few months while a mother's body is learning when to release the chemicals and how much she may even leak some milk when she has an orgasm during sex. This is only because it's the same chemical that is released at both times and her body hasn't learned the whens and hows yet of this function. Some women who are extremely sensitive to this chemical can actually orgasm when they nurse and the chemical is released. This is actually quite rare.

I know my body responded somewhat to the chemical in what one might consider a sexual way but at the time I was so tired and run down and focused on my child and sometimes even the pain that I didn't find it sexual at all. It is simply a physical reaction and not related to sexual emotion.

Now breastfeeding feels relaxing and nuturing. Like when you snuggle your child but a little closer, deeper feeling. The actual sensation of nursing is simple to understand. The emotional bond is different. I have enjoyed breastfeeding. It has been easy. I could even let her nurse while I slept and I got the much needed rest I needed. I never had to get up to prepare a warm bottle in the middle of the night. I never had to pack formula when I went out. I had a ready, easy source of food with me at all times.

Some say the attachment that breastfeeding fosters can make a child dependant on the parent. I think this probably depends more on the child than the source of food. My daughter has always been outgoing and rarely afraid of strangers, new situations, or even being left alone with a new sitter. It doesn't matter who her sitter is - she rarely cries when I leave her.

I hope this helps you understand the dynamics of breastfeeding a little better.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

bundy

Raeanna, thank you for sharing this.

a close friend of mine had a beautiful baby boy recently and i've been considering the importance of breast-feeding ever since.
i had no idea about how this may be a traumatic experience for the mother.

i guess i really just had no idea.

like Astrocloud, i had a sense that this may in fact be a sexual (and for the child a somewhat Oedipus related) experience, but you have honestly opened my eyes.
thank you.

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raeanna74

It sure can be traumatic. That's party why the percentage of mothers who nurse past 6 months is so very low. Don't quote me but I think the last number I read for past 6 months is 13%. Mother's truely need support during the first few months of breastfeeding especially.

I don't want you to think that the trauma of adjusting to breastfeeding isn't worth it though. Personally I found it well worth it. Breastfeeding not only benefits the child but the mother as well. After birth and without dieting at all I managed to loose 60lbs in 9 months. I even had a c-section that somewhat limited my activity. Breastfeeding helps you loose weight and helps your reproductive organs return to normal. It protects them against future cancers as well. There are also some preliminary studies that point to breastfeeding as possibly helping to alieviate PPD.

During my daughter's first year of life she only got sick with a cold once, and the stomach flu once. She recovered quickly and didn't get severely sick. When she had the stomach flu she was still able to nurse and that seemed to be one of the only things she could keep down. Juice or water seemed to cause her to throw up within minutes. She never had any ear infections that first year. I was a bit surprised at how well she was that first year since I went to work part time about a month after she was born. I worked in a day care and she went with me. She was the object of attention for most of the other children in the day care.

One of the other hard things for nursing mothers is going to work. They feel like it's a waste to nurse only part time but the health benefits have been shown to be effective even with part time breastfeeding.

My sister-in-law was unable to continue breastfeeding after about a month. I gave her the support she wanted but her mother was extremely negative about her nursing. It's a sensitive subject for some.

The AMA and AAP both have made statements in support and encouraging breastfeeding but public opinion in general can still be a bit intimidating to some mothers. Part of the reason I was willing and able to continue breastfeeding for 3 years was the information I had armed myself with even prior to pregnancy. If I hadn't been convinced of the benefits then I would definately not have wanted to continue through the problems that I experienced to begin with.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.