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Old 04-23-2006, 05:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: LI,NY
A Mission Statement

I have started reading "The Power of a Positive Mom", by Karol Ladd in hopes to feel better as a mother and learn how to help my children more. In the 2nd chapter she talks of writing a mission statement, a statement of purpose.

This is from the chapter :
"We think the most important thing is the thing that's screaming the loudest for our attention. As a result we zoom through life as if it were a sprint race instead of slowing down and relishing it as a meaningful journey"

"Is our objective to be the mom who accomplished the most when we come to the end of the race in life? In the rush to get ahead and get things done, are we taking time to love and enjoy the people God has placed in our care? What is our goal in life supposed to be?"

She then goes on and gives a sample 'mission statement' and leaves blanks for you to fill in.
(I am cutting out the beginning and editing it just a bit to get the guts of it. It is a Christian book, and I want others to feel comfortable answering if they choose to)

"I believe I was created with unique gifts, talents, and abilities that can be used to bless and enrich my family and the people around me.

My strengths include ______________________________________

I recognize that I also have weaknesses that I will try to minimize or overcome with help.

I believe my purpose in life is to ______________________________

My hope for my family is ____________________________________"

She listed 3 reasons for writing this out:
1. When we know where we are going, we can take the right roads to get there. Without direction we tend to wander aimlessly, doing everything that comes along as society pulls us in many different directions.
2. A mission statement helps us reflect on what truly matters most in the race of life and helps us to pace ourselves for the long run.
3. Keeps us focused in a positive direction, helping us live with a clear purpose. "The secret of success is constancy in purpose". With this written reminder of our beliefs, hopes and dreams, we are better able to focus our strengths towards our life goals and keep our attention off our weaknesses.



I was having a hard time filling in the blanks for myself. this is what I came up with:

"I believe I was created with unique gifts, talents, and abilities that can be used to bless and enrich my family and the people around me.

My strengths include giving everyone a fair chance, overlooking the bad to see the good This was the hardest part for me to fill out, I am still unhappy with my answer

I recognize that I also have weaknesses that I will try to minimize or overcome with help. I have very little patience, I feel like I anger quickly, I yell/curse alot when angry (trying not to hit something). I could go on forever with this one

I believe my purpose in life is to teach my children to love themselves and others, to be fair and open-minded, to embrace the differences in people, and to be independent

My hope for my family is to be happy, treat others with respect, learn as much about themselves and others"

I plan on re-reading this chapter and seeing if I can create a better mission statement. I thought it would be interesting to read what other parents thought about this, and maybe some of you can type your statements here too.
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Old 04-23-2006, 07:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: on the back, bitch
My strengths include acceptance, flexibility, humorI recognize that I also have weaknesses that I will try to minimize or overcome with help.

I believe my purpose in life is to show love
My hope for my family is contentment

My weaknesses, in no particular order are: second-guessing myself, quick to judge, severe procrastination and laziness, ie; ambitions.
I have seen too many parents push their kids in certain directions, be it their girls into dance class, sons into sports; they make unfounded decisions about what they can watch on tv or how they should wear their hair.
I have always felt that life is a series of choices and their resultant consequences. Not allowing our kids to make choices, even at very early ages, stunts their mental growth. From the time they've known their colors or how food tastes, I've presented choices-red shirt or the green one. Mac and cheese or bologna. It's their brains, after all, that need to be expanded-just seems logical to start there to me.
That's not to say we don't have rules-how to behave, curfews, etc. But I've always been flexible. If there's no real reason to say no to a request, I don't. My parents were of the 'I said no because I can say no if I want to' thought-many of their declinations of my requests, like going to a concert with friends or staying out a little later on a summer night, had no reason. Hence, I snuck around a lot. Got caught a few times, but that didn't stop me from trying again.
Kids are going to push buttons, they're going to test limits. They will question every decision, fight them and maybe even get sneaky. So far, my daughter tried a few lame things, son hasn't at all. But, after a grounding and some discussion, she knows I am there for her and that her actions don't diminish my love and respect.
In the sea of adolescent creatures, my kids are pretty cool and pretty unique. I used to say I got lucky having them as they are. Too many have pointed out luck had nothing to do with it. I tend to agree now.
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Old 04-23-2006, 07:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: LI,NY
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngdawg
I have seen too many parents push their kids in certain directions, be it their girls into dance class, sons into sports
Providing the opportunity to try new things if they want is important. and I agree that the kids should not be pushed in a direction that the parent wants.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ngdawg
I have always felt that life is a series of choices and their resultant consequences. Not allowing our kids to make choices, even at very early ages, stunts their mental growth. From the time they've known their colors or how food tastes, I've presented choices-red shirt or the green one. Mac and cheese or bologna. It's their brains, after all, that need to be expanded-just seems logical to start there to me.
That's not to say we don't have rules-how to behave, curfews, etc. But I've always been flexible. If there's no real reason to say no to a request, I don't. My parents were of the 'I said no because I can say no if I want to' thought-many of their declinations of my requests, like going to a concert with friends or staying out a little later on a summer night, had no reason. Hence, I snuck around a lot. Got caught a few times, but that didn't stop me from trying again.
I have been criticized for giving my children too many choices. But I don't want them to be sneaking around my back, I want them to learn to make their own choices and deal with consequences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ngdawg
In the sea of adolescent creatures, my kids are pretty cool and pretty unique. I used to say I got lucky having them as they are. Too many have pointed out luck had nothing to do with it. I tend to agree now.
and I think your kids are lucky to have a mother like you. Thanks, ngdawg. You helped me see other strengths that I do have.
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Old 04-23-2006, 08:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
peekaboo
 
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Location: on the back, bitch
I've been called on for giving choices too. 'You let her dye her hair BLUE??' No.....I dyed her hair blue when she asked
'You let them watch The Simpsons???' Uh, yea...if they don't like it or something, they'll stop watching. (I think kids know when they're watching a cartoon)
'Why won't she wear something besides black? You should make her wear something else.' Because she wants black. Her choice.
When they're two or three, asking them what they want without presenting clear choices just frustrates them. There was many a time, even with giving them a choice between two things, they couldn't make up their minds, so I would choose, which has an amazing affect on speeding up their thought process.Still does, too.
But what was a choice of shirts 10 years ago has grown to a choice of friends, a choice of high school classes, a choice of doing the right thing or not.
My mom was horrifed that I would let them take apart my sofas and jump on them-that'd ruin the sofas! My family and neighbors were horrified that I not only allowed them to crayon the walls (ok, not allowed per se but I didn't punish them for it), I kept their 'art' there for years. The way I see it, though, childhood is so short, so temporary...once they're adults, they're adults til they die. Adolescence is angst and drama and testing everyone's limits-why should I make it more trouble than it is for all of us? The sooner they discover who they are and where they may fit in the world, the better it is for everyone, but especially them. How I wish my parents had tried this....I'm 3/4 done with my time here and still trying to find my round hole to fit into.
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