Parental Rights Question - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Eowyn_Vala · 04-03-2006, 10:29 AM

I wasn't quite sure if I should put this in the parenting thread or the living thread, but if it needs moved let me know or thanks to whoever.

I have a friend who has a 3 month old little boy. She was never married to the father and never had a serious relationship with him either. She told him of the pregnancy and he hasn't helped her at all with anything then or now. She has contacted him a few times but he seems to be avoiding her as much as possible. She is wanting to have him terminate his rights as a parent. She does not want his help and hasn't asked for it. She is worried that he might decide to have some part in the child's life later and she does not want that. Her lawyer told her she has to have someone else adopt her son to make the father terminate his rights.

I do not believe this is true. I told her this but she wants proof. I'm not sure the exact question she asked her lawyer so I'm trying to explain to the best of my knowledge. I can't find much information for her sitiation and what I've found online says there has to be proof the father has not helped during pregnancy or with contact or support to the child after it is born and his rights can be terminated. I've been struggling for information because most of the articles are out there are under divorced or adoption sections. And most of the actual laws written out are too confusing for me. Can someone help clarify any of this for me and my friend? She'd love actual documents or copies of them for her lawyer too. Thanks!

If there is anything I need to explain more or that I've left out let me know.

pavel_lishin · 04-03-2006, 10:42 AM

This is the sort of thing that's best answered by lawyers, I think. If she doesn't believe her current one, I'd recommend getting a second opinion from another.

The_Jazz · 04-03-2006, 11:22 AM

Yeah, this is something that you need a lawyer in that actual venue to handle. It's all state law that deals with this sort of thing, so you need to talk to someone well versed (at least) in local law. I doubt that anyone here will be able to help you, but good luck anyway!

Bill O'Rights · 04-03-2006, 12:19 PM

There are a few attorneys here that pop in from time to time. The situation that you're describing, however, will vary from state to state. So give every answer that you receive here the same value that you have affixed to it. In other words, free advise is worth exactly what you've paid for it...nothing.

The absolute best advise that you're going to get...you've already received. Seek another attorney in your state. I can't imagine going up before a judge and saying; "But...I read it on an internet message board."

Eowyn_Vala · 04-03-2006, 01:25 PM

I was just looking to see if anyone had been in a similiar situation, I have already told my friend that I believe she should talk to another attorney. I do thank everyone for their advice though, it is appreciated.

mixedmedia · 04-03-2006, 02:02 PM

There should be a legal library at her county courthouse. I don't know if it is the same everywhere, but if she has initiated any legal action she should have access to it. The librarians there can be helpful. There should also be Legal Aid available in her area for free advice if she qualifies. Good luck to her. I know navigating the legal jungle can be pretty daunting.

f6twister · 04-04-2006, 05:19 AM

In order for someone here to help you, you will need to post what state your friend lives in so those laws could be reviewed.

raeanna74 · 04-04-2006, 05:36 AM

Everyone else has said to go to a lawyer and that's the best advice I could give too.

My brother was investigating some of the child custody laws last summer when he was separated from his wife. I thought of him when I read this and wondered - if she does have to have someone else adopt then instead of doing that couldn't she possibly simply file for custody? It wouldn't completely terminate his rights but at least she would be the primary caregiver and he would have less say in what school the child went to, what Dr they went to, etc. She wouldn't have to consult him for everything. Also did she list him as the father on the birth certificate? If not, then from what I've heard (I have little knowledge of this subject but was told this when I filled out my daughter's birth certificate) that if there is no father listed then the would be father has to prove paternity before they can enforce their parental rights. If he is not motivated enough to help and is avoiding the mother than it's possible he would never be motivated enough to try to prove his paternity. Who knows. I'm just rambling but maybe these are some other questions she could ask a lawyer.

If she is not confident in her current lawyer, whether he is correct or not, she should get a second opinion at least. Her current lawyer should be able to at least look up the law that he's referring to and show it to her. If she has any doubts she needs to find a lawyer she trusts.

Also - I have been able to find a lot of state laws listed online. She, or you could at least look it up and see what you find. When you find anything you could approach her lawyer or another lawyer to confirm that what you find was correct. You're not completely relying on the internet but yet you are able to remove all doubt as to what the laws are by double checking it.

04-03-2006, 10:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
Eowyn_Vala Insane Location: There's no place like home..	Parental Rights Question I wasn't quite sure if I should put this in the parenting thread or the living thread, but if it needs moved let me know or thanks to whoever. I have a friend who has a 3 month old little boy. She was never married to the father and never had a serious relationship with him either. She told him of the pregnancy and he hasn't helped her at all with anything then or now. She has contacted him a few times but he seems to be avoiding her as much as possible. She is wanting to have him terminate his rights as a parent. She does not want his help and hasn't asked for it. She is worried that he might decide to have some part in the child's life later and she does not want that. Her lawyer told her she has to have someone else adopt her son to make the father terminate his rights. I do not believe this is true. I told her this but she wants proof. I'm not sure the exact question she asked her lawyer so I'm trying to explain to the best of my knowledge. I can't find much information for her sitiation and what I've found online says there has to be proof the father has not helped during pregnancy or with contact or support to the child after it is born and his rights can be terminated. I've been struggling for information because most of the articles are out there are under divorced or adoption sections. And most of the actual laws written out are too confusing for me. Can someone help clarify any of this for me and my friend? She'd love actual documents or copies of them for her lawyer too. Thanks! If there is anything I need to explain more or that I've left out let me know. __________________ Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less hugging when I do it

04-03-2006, 10:42 AM	#2 (permalink)
pavel_lishin Tilted Location: Richardson, TX	This is the sort of thing that's best answered by lawyers, I think. If she doesn't believe her current one, I'd recommend getting a second opinion from another. __________________ Vote Quimby!

04-03-2006, 11:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Yeah, this is something that you need a lawyer in that actual venue to handle. It's all state law that deals with this sort of thing, so you need to talk to someone well versed (at least) in local law. I doubt that anyone here will be able to help you, but good luck anyway! __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

04-03-2006, 12:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	There are a few attorneys here that pop in from time to time. The situation that you're describing, however, will vary from state to state. So give every answer that you receive here the same value that you have affixed to it. In other words, free advise is worth exactly what you've paid for it...nothing. The absolute best advise that you're going to get...you've already received. Seek another attorney in your state. I can't imagine going up before a judge and saying; "But...I read it on an internet message board." __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

04-03-2006, 01:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
Eowyn_Vala Insane Location: There's no place like home..	I was just looking to see if anyone had been in a similiar situation, I have already told my friend that I believe she should talk to another attorney. I do thank everyone for their advice though, it is appreciated. __________________ Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less hugging when I do it

04-03-2006, 02:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	There should be a legal library at her county courthouse. I don't know if it is the same everywhere, but if she has initiated any legal action she should have access to it. The librarians there can be helpful. There should also be Legal Aid available in her area for free advice if she qualifies. Good luck to her. I know navigating the legal jungle can be pretty daunting.

04-04-2006, 05:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
f6twister Addict	In order for someone here to help you, you will need to post what state your friend lives in so those laws could be reviewed. __________________ A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

04-04-2006, 05:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Everyone else has said to go to a lawyer and that's the best advice I could give too. My brother was investigating some of the child custody laws last summer when he was separated from his wife. I thought of him when I read this and wondered - if she does have to have someone else adopt then instead of doing that couldn't she possibly simply file for custody? It wouldn't completely terminate his rights but at least she would be the primary caregiver and he would have less say in what school the child went to, what Dr they went to, etc. She wouldn't have to consult him for everything. Also did she list him as the father on the birth certificate? If not, then from what I've heard (I have little knowledge of this subject but was told this when I filled out my daughter's birth certificate) that if there is no father listed then the would be father has to prove paternity before they can enforce their parental rights. If he is not motivated enough to help and is avoiding the mother than it's possible he would never be motivated enough to try to prove his paternity. Who knows. I'm just rambling but maybe these are some other questions she could ask a lawyer. If she is not confident in her current lawyer, whether he is correct or not, she should get a second opinion at least. Her current lawyer should be able to at least look up the law that he's referring to and show it to her. If she has any doubts she needs to find a lawyer she trusts. Also - I have been able to find a lot of state laws listed online. She, or you could at least look it up and see what you find. When you find anything you could approach her lawyer or another lawyer to confirm that what you find was correct. You're not completely relying on the internet but yet you are able to remove all doubt as to what the laws are by double checking it. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. Last edited by raeanna74; 04-04-2006 at 05:40 AM..