marcopolo

OK, enough of stupid works of art and masterpieces. Rubbish. Beauty, beauty, feeling... bah!. I want something evil. I want teh hoooorrrorrrrr in songs. I want really, really bad songs. But not because they're funny, or because they are making fun of something. I want songs that really hurt, that kill braincells, that a team of a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters could best in a weekend.

You say N'Sync? Good try. But I am sure that you can point worse stuff. Eurovision-song contest level stuff. Why I want that? Well, because I am bored, and I want hardcore stuff to torture friends. Of course, I'll download them; nothing beats stealing crap from the RIAA.

marcopolo's horrors:

1. William Shatner: Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. Loop.
2. Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun
3. Enrique Iglesias: everything.

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Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

rock_bottom

Off the top of my head... these are all on my computer to play when I want to scare people off.

1. Hammer Brothers: Paul Sucks (simply unbelievable)
2. Weather Girls: It's Raining Men
3. Captain Jack: Captain Jack
4. Celine Deon: My Heart Will Go On
5. Leonard Nimoy: Illogical

Ganguro

Come on now.. that Captain Jack video is classic..
Where else can you see a black army general command a troop of white lesbians in wifebeaters dancing in the rain and kissing each other?

Germany.

That's where.




As for me..when i want to scare off most folks.. i'll play some Morning Musume (http://morningmusume.dream.com/) on repeat.. It really doesnt matter what song.

Also Atari Teenage Riot (http://www.digitalhardcore.com), and mu-ziq (http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~paw/music/mu-track.htm)

hiredgun

No, no, no, you are all wrong.


Avril Lavigne did a cover of System of a Down's "Chop Suey". That song hurt. Find it on kazaa, if you dare.

Lebell

Puberty Love.

There's a reason it stopped the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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Hal Incandenza

Great choices. (Well, I like Atari Teenage Riot, but I'll admit that they're not for everyone.) I'll add "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes. Absolulely awful. And this might start a battle, but I think that Ween's "Push the Little Daisies" is pretty much unlistenable.

snowy

Anything by Wesley Willis. Uggh.

If you don't know who Wesley Willis is...I recommend you download some. It might just be the worst thing you've ever heard, or the best thing. I think it depends on the person.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

vermin

Casper Slide - ?
Copacabana - Barry Manilow
Young Girl - Gary Pukett and the Union Gap
Revolution #9 - The Beatles
Sugar, Sugar - The Archies

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

uncle phil

YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY

Ohio Express - 1968


Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I got love in my tummy
And I feel like a-lovin you
Love, you're such a sweet thing
Good enough to eat thing
And it's just a-what I'm gonna do

Ooh love to hold ya
Ooh love to kiss ya
Ooh love I love it so
Ooh love you're sweeter
Sweeter than sugar
Ooh love
I wont let you go

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I got love in my tummy
And as silly as it may seem
The lovin' that you re giving
Is what keeps me livin'
And your love is like peaches and cream

Kind-a like sugar
Kind-a like spices
Kind-a like, like what you do
Kind-a sounds funny
But your love honey
And honey, I love you

Ba, da, ba, da, da , da, da
Ba, da, da, da, da, da . . .

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I got love in my tummy
That your love can satisfy
Love, you're such a sweet thing
Good enough to eat thing
And sweet thing, that ain't no lie

I love to hold ya
I love to kiss ya
Ooh love, I love it so
Ooh love, you're sweeter
Sweeter than sugar
Ooh love, I wont let you go

Ba, da, ba, da, da , da, da
Ba, da, da, da, da, da . . .

Sweet thing, yummy yummy
Sweet thing
Sweet thing, yummy yummy
Sweet thing

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Strelich

I have to say that playing Shatner's "Mr. Tambourine Man" (in the...jingle...jangle...morning!) coupled with Leonard Nimoy's "I'd Love Making Love to You" (both on the album "Spaced Out") is the kind of music that makes "throwing the cat in the dryer and turning on permanent press" a positively delightful experience.

Not much music makes me visibly cringe and a chill go down my spine. When Shatner ends Tambourne man by screaming "Mr. Tambourine Man!!" at the top of his lungs, I think blood started shooting out of my nose and I blacked out. God bless my family and our capability to repress everything.

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Monty this seems strange to me.
The movies had that movie thing,
but nonsense has a welcome ring
and heroes don't come easy.

rock_bottom

Blashphemy! mu-ziq / Aphex Twin is some of the best music ever, seriously! I guess everyone has their own opinions though.

uncle phil

CHEWY CHEWY
Ohio Express - 1968


Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy Baby
Always got a mouthful of such sweet things to say
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy Baby
Chewy's full of sugar and I love her that way

Chorus:
Ooh I love to kiss her
Love to hold her
Love to miss her
Love to scold her
Love to love her like I do
Oh-ie little Chewy
Don't know what you're doing to me
But you're doing to me what I want you to

Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy Baby
Everytime you love me it's a real sugar treat
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy Baby
Love me little Chewy cause you do it so sweet

Chorus

Want ya' to . . . woah yeh-e yeh


Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy Baby
Living box of candy wrapped up so very fine
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy Baby
Do it to me Chewy, chew me out of my mind

Chorus

Ah . . .
Ah Chewy, wo-oh Chewy, wo-oh oh, wo-oh oh
Wah, bop, bop . . .

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

WildZero

Tori Amos - Smells Like Teen Spirit (Worst. Cover. Ever.)
David Bowie - The Laughing Gnome

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My other sig says something clever.

Ganguro

I never said i dont like mu-ziq (who is NOT aphex twin btw).. or ATR..
but i played them in a 4 car trip with my parents once, and my dad threw my cd out of the window. It takes a lot to make a grown man who listens to Prince, spoken word by Maya Angelou, and Ashford and Simpson cry....

rock_bottom

Oh whoops, guess I said that the wrong way. I meant that the general the general style of music mu-ziq made was great... but a lot of people seem to judge it quickly as boring.

BulletBob

Tool covering No Quarter is awful. In fact I don't understand all the hype that Tool gets but each to his own.

hiredgun

oh. my. god. I just listed Tool's cover of No Quarter as one of my favorite covers of all time in another thread. I looooooove that song!

To each his own...

big_bubba

Madonna--American Pie

After Don MacLean hears that, he'll die.... and spin in his grave

And anything by the jackson five

Atomic Pinkie

hehe Jackson Five...

Any Michael Jackson?

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Where dem bitches at?

CSflim

Wesley Willis RULES

the guy is a musical genius! And he writes lyrics with such amazing panache! Download some Wesley Willis. I promise you, you will never again listen to music in the same way.

-C.S. Flim

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CSflim

My GOD I just heard the aformentioned Avril Lavigne cover of Chop Suey.

I assure you Marcopolo, this will mett all of your requirements....and more....perhaps overkilll? I mean you just want to torture them, not necessarily drive them to suicide, right?

Damn! I never want to hear that EVER again!

-C.S. Flim

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hiredgun

see, see! i was right.

seriously, download it if you've never heard it. it will change your LIFE. in a bad way.

MSD

Alright, Uncle Phil, that's enough songs about oral sex for now.

KillerYoda

I love the smell of flamewar in the morning.

My torture has to be "Japanese Boy" by Aneka. I wanted to melt my copy of Vice City just because that song is on it.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

methodtim

I've been torturing mike with Boom Boom Boom by the Venga Boys. That and the Happy 2 B Hardcore 150 BPM remix of Take On Me by A-Ha. \m/

Boom boom boom I want u in my room!
Boom boom boom boom, I want a double boom!

HAHAHAHAHA

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We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
and we can dance.

brandon11983

I loved that song!! Anything from Celine Dion, Michael Bolton, Milli Vanilli, and/or Nelson kills me.

__________________
Well behaved women rarely make history.

bullgoose

Forgiener- "hot blooded" just pisses me of to my toes.

__________________
"If I had it to do all over,
I'd do it all over you."

GuttersnipeXL

Dude! Check it and see! There is an episode of Aqua Teen hunger Force on Cartoon Network, where one of the characters wins the Foreigner belt. Its a belt, that when activated, is used as sort of a mind control device...hilarious, if you are familiar with that program....I'll go with that song thats like..." Hey kids rock on, rock on, ooo my soul...." No idea who it is, but when i hear it, I get a funny voice in my brain, that tells me to kill, kill, kill!

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST

bullgoose

Nah, I'm a lot older than you (although I've seen the program you refer to). "Hot blooded" takes me back to the '70's when you used to see "Macho" guys that wore their shirts open to the navel, LOTS of gold chains, elephant Bell-bottoms; the type of asshole you automatcally want to beat the shit out of; they ALWAYS hit on the drunk chicks; sometimes they'd wail on them if they wouldn't put out, that happened to a couple of friends of mine. My buds and I made a point of looking those Macho shits up; I love to see one of those guys cry like a baby.

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"If I had it to do all over,
I'd do it all over you."

oldbob

I remember being tortured as a small child with this thing called The Gospel Express by Marcy. wretched, wretched thing.
Wesley Willis crushes, as does Ween.

__________________
children who refuse to brush will have inordinately bad breath.

Spungfoo

That damn Ketchup song by whoever the hell sings it...

warrrreagl

Brady Bunch - American Pie

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

hotzot

three dog night - joy to the world.

__________________
The Bully Boys are here!

student

hahaha i recommend getting birdman whupped my ass by wesley willis!!!!!! my friend actually saw him play in tempe arizona a year or 2 ago.

Skettios

ding ding ding, We have a winner!

My eardrums are literally bleeding. Someone call a paramedic.

My personal torture song is "Heaven" the DJ Sammy cover. If I ever meet DJ sammy in a dark alley, I'm taking his kidneys.

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Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche

double

My ears start bleeding everytime Im exposed to Britney Spears cover version of Joan Jetts I love Rock n' Roll....

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Reach out and touch faith

KWSN

AAAHHH!!!!! MY EARS!!!!

Seriously... that is the worst thing I have EVER heard. Ever. In my LIFE.

The Kazaa tagline for this that I found is: "There are no words that can adequately describe this crime against humanity."

I agree.

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Your arms are broken!

fuelmyfire

Silke Bischoff- I Don't Love you Anymore

a_divine_martyr

Most anything by Iron Maiden or Poison.

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Censorship and thought control can only exist in secrecy and darkness...

sngx1275

lol man thats awesome, and horrible. I just downloaded it