dualman7

I work part time for a company, with aspirations to work full time there one day. One of the people who brought me in, and has now been promoted to a major position is very argumentative. I often disagree with what he says, but anytime I voice my opinion he basically uses some foul language...for which i would respond in a similar manner to if it was anyone else..even a family member. I have found myself basically agreeing with him even when i don't..just so there is no scene...and in the back of my mind I feel like I can lose my job if I piss him off.

All this agreeing when i truly do not has me doing flips in my head. I can show my true feelings and have these snobby corporate people disagree with me and who knows...be jobless, or I can be a mocking bird and hate myself for it. This is a great job opportunity...but I feel like a bum letting people walk all over me because THEY KNOW that I KNOW that they control whether I'll be there.

lurkette

If he's deliberately abusive, then it may be worth discussing this with his superior. That's inappropriate and "harassment" doesn't always have to mean "sexual harassment."

If he's just rude and dismissive, though, stick to your guns when you disagree and make sure he knows that you're not taking issue with him as an individual, and that you have the best interests of the company at heart. If he talks trash at you then, just stay calm and professional and maybe point out that swearing at you is unprofessional and inappropriate.

You could also try modulating your language so as to disagree with him in as agreeable a manner as possible - things like "what if we looked at it this way..." or "have you thought about blah blah blah..." That way he has a chance to respond and make it look like his own idea, as opposed to feeling like he has to defend his position if you say "I think it'd be better if we did X" or "Y won't work because..."

At the end of the day, if you can't work it out, you might ask yourself whether it's worth it to spend a substantial portion of your day as someone else's punching bag. It's easier to find another job while you still have one, so it might be worth looking casually while you contemplate your options.

Good luck!

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

TM875

Ah - you've fallen into the "yes man" trap.

It's tough, especially when dealing with someone that you want to be in good graces with, to tell them that they're wrong. However, giving up and turning into a throw rug is perhaps one of the worst things that you can do for your career.

In an argument, you might be right or you might be wrong. Stand up for what you believe in. Okay, he might become lewd or disruptive - but don't let yourself fall into step with him. Stay calm, talk with a sense of tact and confidence, and try to resolve the problem. You might lose the argument 100% or the time, but I guarntee that someone in higher posistion than your direct superior will see how you two are interacting.

Those "snobby corportate people" will not fire you for simple believing in your work and attempting to better the company, as long as you have justification for your point.

Again, let me stress, act with immense tact in situations like this, but don't feel the need to back down. Accept that your opinion may be in the minority, and that they will eventually have final say, but don't simply back down because you're scared. Eventually, a bear will win the battle - a sheep will not.

__________________
"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

Kostya

I'm interested to know exactly what kind of disagreements these are? Are they work related, or not? I've had my share of disagreements over work related issues with 'superiors', and nothing frustrates me more than the old "I'm the boss so shutup!" line in that regard. I'm prepared to swallow my pride over some egomaniacal wanker who can't handle constructive criticism. What I can't abide by is people who use their position in the corporate structure to force their way in arguments over non-work related things. If someone higher up is spinning shit, usually of racist or misogynistic variety, and you disagree, and they fall back on coded threats to your employment prospects I hate that bigtime. If they're stifling your contributions to work, try to find or create an avenue to bypass them, either by reaching receptive ears higher up or elsewhere in the company, or submitting in those corporate brainstorms, where he's not the top gun and can't cut you down without others seeing his behaviour. Clearly, bilateral discussions are a waste of time, since he's quite prepared to utilise his raw power regarding your livelihood instead of genuine arguments to have his way. On the other hand, if the disagreements are to do with non-work related issues, then you have to examine your convictions, and how far you will compromise them in order to keep this job. I almost got fired from my first job for not serving a guy wearing a white power shirt, but, hell if I didn't need my pocket money as much as you might need your salary.

Ganggreen

welcome to the real world.....its better to be pissed off than pissed on.