fhqwhgads

So I'm in the grocery store today, picking out a few tomatoes, and I look over to see a lady chatting on her cell phone while picking through the apples. Her cart is about 6 feet away, and her purse is sitting in the front, wide open. She's paying absolutely no attention to it at all.

Being a cop, I felt the urge to walk over to her and explain how where I work we recently had a half dozen or so cases of someone grabbing purses out of unattended carts and running out. I was going to tell her to be more careful, but I thought twice about it... I didn't know how well my good intentions would be received.

It's one thing to give unsolicited advice to a friend, but what about a stranger? Should I have talked to her or not?

CityOfAngels

You should've taken her purse and ran. Nah, j/k. It's all up to you. If you feel you should've, then yeah. If you feel it would be an inappropriate time or place, then no.

noodle

I so appreciate it when people have stopped me and said something along those lines. I don't typically carry a purse, so I tend to leave it in a shopping cart, or set my cell down. If not for the advice/reminders of considerate people, I'd probably have had my bank account cleaned out several times. I've even left bags of groceries, clothes, etc at the register or in the cart. People always stop me. Wow... I'm feeling kind of dumb right now. I think that persons who stop and say "Excuse me, I noticed you've left your purse open and unattended" or "Wait, you left this!" are truly looking out for others. And if she takes offense, oh well. She probably felt like an idiot. But... she'd feel worse if it took a little walk right out of the cart.

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JustJess

Actually... I do it all the time. I can't seem to stop myself. I let someone know when their shoelaces are untied, or that they're walking with their backpack hanging open, or criminy, if their shirt tags are showing!!! In NYC, I don't run across the abandoned bag bit much. ...I can't help it. I would want someone to tell me.

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guthmund

Nope.

I'll give advice to kids. I'm a big man and, I'm told, can be quite intimidating if you don't know me, so, to make kids feel at ease around me, I give them stupid little bits of advice.

Adults? Not a chance. I've been on the receiving end of too many 'why don't you mind your own business' public tantrums.

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maleficent

I'm a busy body, but while I am getting better at not sticking my nose in - getting yelled at to mind my own business breaks the habit sort of...

One of my favorite, let's berate Maleficent episodes was when I was in the grocery store and I watched a kid start to climb out of the shopping carriage, and I looked at the kid, who was no more than 3, and sternly (for a two year old) suggested that it sit back down because he didnt want to fall. The mother screeched at me to mind my own business. Two aisles later, the kid did a face plant into hard floor, oh boy not sure who screeched louder, the mother or the kid.

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StanT

On an internet forum, I figure if you mention something, you're soliciting advice. In the real world, I keep my mouth shut unless it's extremely dangerous or life threatening.

Pip

I've warned some customers about the purse thing. (I work in a grocery store.) I must look very kind and helpful because noone has ever minded. Li'l old ladies let me carry their bags and people ask me for directions all the time, even when I'm a tourist! It's easier for me to get over the awkwardness of giving random advice to strangers when I'm in "uniform" though, my "official" personality is a lot more authorative than my "private".
I've told the head of the machine engineering depatment that a button in his vest was open at a full evening dress type of event. He thanked me and walked away to button it. My more modest friend who witnessed the event told me kind of angrily that "You don't tell a dean that his vest is unbuttoned!!!1omg!". He would apparently rather have the dean walking around with a not-impeccable tail-coat.

WillyPete

For a situation like you told us about, I'd 'lie' a little to make it seem less like I'm being a busybody. Mention that your mother/wife/sister had their purse lifted in similar circumstances and it's taken weeks to cancel and renew all the cards and ID.

Sometimes people need reminding.

Then again, a funny one happened to me on the tube last week.
As all long time Londoners know, there is no chivalry on the tube. If your arse is near an open seat you plop yourself in it. Gentleman get in the way when they dodge around being chivalrous.

'nyways, I sit down, still engrossed in my book when they lady I sat down next to says, "excuse me, don't you rather want to let that lady sit down?"
I think I put on my "What the fuck? Me?" look and then looked up at the lady who'd been behind me all the time.
A skinny lady, but she'd been slouching a bit, pushing her small belly out a bit.

She looked down at the lady who spoke to me and said she was ok, was getting off at the next stop and then it hit her:
"Oh. You think i'm pregnant?!!!"

I didn't know who to pity the most.

The slim lady who'd been called pregnant or the woman who'd made that fatal mistake.

Christ, and I thought men got "the stare" ® if we hesitated before answering the "does this dress make me look fat?" question.
I've never seen anyone flayed with a look before...

Gatorade Frost

In this situation I think it would be a-ok to have said "Ma'am, I'm a police officer so I feel I should let you know that there's been a lot of purse snatchings from carts and all, so you might want to pay attention to your cart just to be safe."

I don't usually give advice to random people and I'm highly annoyed when people feel compelled to help me out when I don't want or need their advice.

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absorbentishe

As an officer of the peace, you should have at least mentioned that first, then said be more careful. She may have taken it more seriously coming from a cop than an average Joe. Now, the advice you should have given her was to get off the damn phone, couldn't it wait until she got home? Gesh.

/off my high horse.

That's one of those things that I have a pet peave about. But I wouldn't say anything in situations like that, I try to keep out of other's business. Now if I say someone trying to steal it, then I'd get involved.

Sweetpea

very rarely and usually only to my sister or two of my very close friends, other than that, i think what people do is their own business and i keep my mouth shut.

In the situation you gave, i think it was kind of you to give advice to that woman, leaving your purse unattended needs to be drawn attention to. I don't see a problem with what you did, in fact, i think it was nice of you.

Sweetpea

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Schwan

On the internet - sure, why not. In real life? No. I've tried a number of times and found that the people you give unsolicited advice to just don;t appreciate it as much as they should and are more likely to just ignore it, do a mistake, and then blame me (or you) for it.

Having said that, I do believe that since you are a policemen, you should by all means give unsolicited advice. It comes with the job.

zakool21

I work at a grocery store and it scares me how little attention parents pay to their small kids in shopping carts. I've almost had a few 2-3 year olds fall out of carts if I hadn't said something or told them to sit back down. Many of them want to reach over at the machine that despenses the coin change and almost eat shit.

In terms of other advice, I really don't give it out unless I'm in a position where I feel like I can help the person better than they're already being helped.

Case in point - I was dropping off a job application at ritz camera when I saw some guy asking about a certain digital camera. The people behind the counter were utterly clueless (whith makes me wonder why they're allowed to work there in the first place), so I helped the guy out. I've been known to do this in best buy, circuit city, radio shack, fry's, and other electronics stores where they have bonehead employees trying to help people make an 'informed' purchase.

analog

Only if i assess the situation and it looks like immediate help is needed or something really bad could happen, or if (like others have said) someone is getting shitty or no help at all with regard to useful information. Otherwise, I mostly let people go about their business.

I will, however, make commentary about movies if I am next to someone having a talk about movies and are unsure what to see, if movie X was good or worth seeing, that sort of thing... but that's because that's what I know well, and can provide good (i believe) advice about.