sashime76

Several of my aunts (mother's side) have just visited my mom and my sister in Southern Cal. During their 10 day stay, they visited Sea World, Vegas, Universal Studios, they also ate out numerous times. I spoke with my sister and brother after they have returned (Taiwan) about their visit.

Apparently my sister and brother have spent well over $1000 and $500 respectively - my relatives didn't pay for anything when they ate out or anything else. Now they aren't exactly "poor" except for my 3rd aunt, she still works 10 hours a day. My 4th aunt spent over $600 at Costco loading up on vitamins. Another shopping outing she forked out another $300. She didn't drop a dime for any hotel stay, park tickets or show tickets.

My mother hasn't seen her siblings for over 6 years and we didn't want anything negative so we basically take it as one of those "oh, well, what can you do about it things...".

I had my first hand experience with them when I got married a few years back. I was wondering if anyone has free-loader relatives or friends like mine? Have you spoken to them after the fact? Would you host them again?

Cynthetiq

I don't host if I'm concerned about the price of paying for things. If I do have concerns, I mention them beforehand so that there's no misunderstandings, or at least they are minimized.

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Disk_Pusher

My mother's side of the family, specifially, her brother. A waste of space. When he would come out he would expect my family to feed his 7 children along with himself and his wife. He believed that because my father was a lawyer (and later, a judge) and he a steel mill worker, that my father was obligated to pay for everything for him, including his travel expenses to tow his flock anywhere. What really ticked my dad off was that he would sugest an expensive resturant damn well knowing that he wasn't going to pay a dime. When a cheque would come he would just kinda stare stupidly at it, and then look at my mom like, "isn't this your problem?" - EVEN WHEN my family had ordered nothing but water.

Finally my mother had enough of it, told Uncle Buzz that it wasn't her nor my father's fault that he couldn't figure out how to use a condom, and to pay for his own damn family. Needless to say, we don't hear from him all that often anymore. It's certainly not the most elequent solution, but it worked for us. Buzz was a leech, and short of beating the hell out of him, there was no way to get stuff through his thick skull.

Cartuni

My parents had her sister-in-law’s brother and his wife visit while traveling the US in their RV. They stayed in their house eight days – mom did all the cooking except for two dinners out (my parents picked up the tab both times). Finally these deadbeats told Mom they would take her to lunch. First they wanted to stock up at Sam’s Club for the next leg of their trip. Well, while they were there they led Mom around to all the free food sample displays – yep, that was Mom’s big ‘lunch out’.

We still laugh about it - it’s become one of our family jokes. Every time we pass a Sam’s Club someone says, “Hey! How about I treat everyone to lunch?”

No way Mom or Dad would ever allow them to visit again.

sashime76

My sister didn't exactly volunteer to host them. None of them can drive, speak or read English. Since my mom now lives with my sister, it's only "natural" for them all to stay there. They wanted to go shopping so my sister caravaned them. They wanted to go to Sea World, Vegas, Universal Studios, they got their wished.

My sister had to take four days off, accomodate them and the meantime prepare three meals a day for her own family and her guests. Any person with a little of curtesy would have offer to pay for a meal or two when they ate out right? Not them. Not after my sister brought them to Onami (Japanese buffet = $$$). No one asked for the tab when they went to McD's with my sister and her two kids.

When I visit my relatives I never go empty handed, nor do I expect them to pay for everything. 5 years ago I burned over $4500 when a whole gang of my relatives came and visited me. I'm still hurting to this day.

Demeter

No one can take advantage of you if you don't let them.

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pwrinkle

Maby they only have taiwan money and couldn't pay for anything.

Grasshopper Green

I had to laugh at the "lunch" thing...I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but it's good you can laugh about it now. I can't believe someone would actually suggest that with a straight face.

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Bob Biter

Sashime76, what if the situation was reversed? If you gathered a group and visited your aunts in Taiwan, would they cover all expenses without a second thought, or would they expect you to shell out some dough? I have a few family members that don't even think about spending money on anything other than their flight into my city. They just expect me and whoever's with me to cover food, lodgings, etc. However, if I went to theirs, they would tell me to stop reaching for my wallet.

If it's a give-and-take like that, then I don't really see a problem. However, nothing's worse than a true, dyed-in-the-wool, selfish freeloader.

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Amano

wow i really need to rant. My uncle is absolutely horrible, not to mention a leech and a high-school dropout. He isn't only a free-loader but he is responsible for putting my family in financial trouble: racks up thousands in roaming/long distance cell phone bills, thousands more for legal/attorney fees for stupid things he does, currently in the process of running two of my dad's side businesses COMPLETELY into the ground (doesn't pay the business related bills on time -- think 2 years late, racking up fees and interest -- doesn't do half of the things he's responsible for), doesn't pay rent at his pretty nice apartment, all at the expense of my immediate family.

Pretty f-ing retarded that my dad doesn't have the common sense to realize what he's doing and just lets it continue blindly. Wiped out 70% of my kid brother's very significant college savings, among other things.

ugh.

Corneo

Oh man damn that is pretty bad free loading. I guess I can share a story, my roommate is probably the biggest free loader out there. The guy is too cheap to buy his own food and is constantly searching the kitchen for unclaimed food. One time I caught him eating my bread and drinking my milk. I told him to buy his own groceries, his response to me was "food is too expensive".

sashime76

For your info, Bob Biter, first of all, I would never ask anyone to pay for everything even if I'm their guest. Second of all, as many relatives as I have, 6 aunts, 2 uncles, on my mother's side alone, we are always "out numbered". Unless I team up with my sister and her family, our two families together make up 8 in all, plus my mom then we have an army of 9. Only it's about impossible to schedule all our vacation together.

This also happened last time my relatives came to visit us just before my wife and I got married. My then future in laws with my wife's uncle and aunt arrived around the same time my relatives came to town. After one dinner together we had quite a lot of leftovers so we doggie bagged it.

Next day at lunch hour, I figured the leftover wasn't enough to feed everone so I had my brother go and pick up a few pizzas. While he was gone I reheated the leftover so we would be ready when pizzas arrived. Well, none of my relatives, not one of them, touched the leftovers. They swarmed the pizzas, there were about 2,3 slices left by the time they left the table. I was so embrassed by them, all my in laws had to eat was the leftovers even though they didn't mind.

My relatives (7 of them) shared three other rooms in my house while my in-laws (6 of them) crammed into the last room. My wife's uncle and aunt checked themselves into a hotel so the situation was eased a bit. Another thing that threw me off was that my relatives were doing laundry everyday, at least twice a day. They would not mix laundry with anyone else's so each load was just 2-3 pieces of clothing. And you wonder why I'm ranting?