One for the girls... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Prince · 02-23-2005, 09:20 AM

My wife needs to get a little buzz on by drinking before she goes to a gyno. She hates being touched "down there" by anyone but me. The stress alone of it makes her cry.

I wonder if this is common among women? Or are there actually women that get a big kick out of it? I cannot imagine.

bad jane · 02-23-2005, 03:18 PM

i don't know any woman who actually enjoys it, but i don't personally know anyone who needs a buzz before going either. i think most of us simply see it as something we have to do.

i always shop around when i move to a new area. the more confidence i have in a dr, the more comfy i am seeing them. also, i like to meet them before having an exam. some dr.s are better at putting you at ease than others and some people you just like more than others. my current ob/gyn is great. he's friendly but professional and doesn't make my exam any more awkward than it has to be. plus the decorated ceilings always give me a chuckle.

la petite moi · 02-23-2005, 03:22 PM

My first time, I was scared, but not that scared. I think it depends on how self-conscious people are with their body or how they were raised.

It's also pretty painful to me, so don't think for one second that I enjoy anything like that.

Personally, I would encourage your wife to see a therapist about her fear. Doctors are not there to touch a woman sexually. If she doesn't want to do that or you don't have the money, maybe you could ask the doctor if you could come and hold her hand. (They might not let you, but I'm sure if they let you, your wife would probably appreciate it.)

maleficent · 02-23-2005, 06:09 PM

Is her doctor a male or female? How long has she been going to him/her?

If she's that uncomfortable going to that doctor, she'd best find a new doctor, getting a buzz on before going isn't all that healthy. Alcohol in the blood stream might skew test results and could also mask other problems.

If she's uncomfortable, she should talk to the doctor first and express her fears, any doctor worth anything will do what they can to make her more comfortable.

It's not up there on my list of favorite things to do, but I've never been to the point of wanting to cry.

Squishor · 02-23-2005, 06:38 PM

It can be unpleasant at times, but it's never made me want to cry or anything. I was lucky enough to have my first job at a family planning clinic though, so most of the time the people doing my exams were people I knew and trusted (my co-workers). However, I also don't recall seeing patients come in crying because they had to have an exam. I also don't think there are many women who get any kind of kick out of it.

Do you go in with her? That's probably one of the nicest things you could do for her, I think. Assuming she has a choice about who she sees, I would think she's probably already chosen somebody who's the least threatening to her, especially since she feels this way. My guess is she's probably got something else from her past that makes her feel this way. I'd recommend counseling - it shouldn't be that traumatic.

ophelia783 · 02-24-2005, 05:14 PM

The first time I went, I was very uncomfortable about the whole situation....After going through the experience, I can honestly say that it's not TOO bad, but it IS kinda weird.....I mean, you're having a conversation with a woman about, say, the weather while she's sticking things into and looking at your vagina, uterus and cervix....A little nerve-racking!

rhaevyn · 02-24-2005, 10:38 PM

I went to my first "real" gyno appointment dreading what was going to happen. I'd always heard my older female friends and relatives talking about how horrible it was. But then I got there, got it over with, and it was like, "Wow, they really made a huge deal about that." Sure, it's not something I'd want to do everyday; once a year is fine. It's just not a big deal for me.

Tbone12345 · 02-25-2005, 02:19 PM

Well since my gyno is the only touching me anyway lately it hasn't been that bad. No seriously once I had an foreign doctor that I couldn't understand very well. I was really tense, but not driven to drink. Maybe she should do some deep breathing excercises.

Grasshopper Green · 02-25-2005, 04:16 PM

Does she have a history of sexual abuse? If so, that could be the cause of the stress.

It's not something fun that I look forward to, but it's not that bad. I think if you could go in and hold her hand as previously suggested, that might help her out some. I really don't have any other advice, but I hope things get better for her.

amonkie · 02-26-2005, 12:32 AM

I have two friends, both older than me, who have not had their first Pap smear or OB/GYN visit yet. They've had the misfortune of being around me when my doctor has called because of some complications in the last couple months, so they may have a slightly biased view and think they need to get that buzz before they go. If the doctor is professional (ie doesn't make puns on your name) and knowledgle, then it really just comes down to whether your wife is comfortable. It may take some switching around, but if she can find someone she trusts and feels comfortable with, her mental health regarding this area will do her good.

Gilda · 03-10-2005, 02:53 PM

I don't really have a problem with going to the gynocologist. I actually prefer it to going to the dentist. I've been going since I first began using birth control when I was 15, and have had at a bare minimum a six-month checkup ever since, even though I no longer use birth control.

My current gyno is a young man, just out of residency, and he is very enthusiastic about his job. He greets me with a warm smile each time I see him, asks about my general health, he's careful to warn me about each thing he's going to do, takes the speculum off of the heating pad a minute or so before inserting it to let it cool just a bit to the right temp, he tells me everything he's doing before he does it and why, even if it's the same procedure I've been through a dozen times, and will ask how something feels each time he does something new. It's very relaxing and comforting.

My SO won't go to a male gyno under any circumstances.

Demeter · 03-10-2005, 07:20 PM

Going to the Gyno has never been a problem with me. I mean, its no fun or anything, but its just one of those things we gotta do.
I would suggest your wife talk to a doctor about her fears. If it upsets her now, if she decides to get pregnant she'll go over the edge.
They prod around down there damn near every visit, nevermind when you are in labor & they keep checking to see how far you're dilated. I've always liked it to feeling like a dairy cow, when your own body doesn't seem like its yours anymore.

lurkette · 03-11-2005, 06:13 AM

I certainly don't get off on it, but it's pretty matter-of-fact for me at this point. It might definitely be a good idea for your wife to 1. see a therapist and 2. see a female gyno. This - having to get buzzed and feeling like crying - is not a healthy response to a routine physical exam. There's definitely something deeper going on.

Maleigh99 · 03-11-2005, 09:07 AM

I don't know anybody who gets off by going to the gyno. I wonder if that's what men think? Hmm....

lindseylatch · 03-11-2005, 10:24 AM

I had 4 people messing around with my vagina (in the medical sense) in the past 8 months, so it's no big deal for me. Plus, they were all women. If it was a guy, i feel really wierd about it...
Amonkie, if you read this, you have the BEST avatar ever...cause Royo rocks!

KinkyKiwi · 03-12-2005, 11:19 AM

the first time i had to go in i was so scared i threw up

..but i've gotten used to it..i just like tune it out and focus on a song in my head or what i need to do that day.

02-23-2005, 09:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	One for the girls... My wife needs to get a little buzz on by drinking before she goes to a gyno. She hates being touched "down there" by anyone but me. The stress alone of it makes her cry. I wonder if this is common among women? Or are there actually women that get a big kick out of it? I cannot imagine. __________________ Who is John Galt?

02-23-2005, 03:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	My first time, I was scared, but not that scared. I think it depends on how self-conscious people are with their body or how they were raised. It's also pretty painful to me, so don't think for one second that I enjoy anything like that. Personally, I would encourage your wife to see a therapist about her fear. Doctors are not there to touch a woman sexually. If she doesn't want to do that or you don't have the money, maybe you could ask the doctor if you could come and hold her hand. (They might not let you, but I'm sure if they let you, your wife would probably appreciate it.) Last edited by la petite moi; 02-23-2005 at 03:48 PM..

02-23-2005, 06:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Is her doctor a male or female? How long has she been going to him/her? If she's that uncomfortable going to that doctor, she'd best find a new doctor, getting a buzz on before going isn't all that healthy. Alcohol in the blood stream might skew test results and could also mask other problems. If she's uncomfortable, she should talk to the doctor first and express her fears, any doctor worth anything will do what they can to make her more comfortable. It's not up there on my list of favorite things to do, but I've never been to the point of wanting to cry. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

02-24-2005, 05:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
ophelia783 Insane Location: West Virginia	The first time I went, I was very uncomfortable about the whole situation....After going through the experience, I can honestly say that it's not TOO bad, but it IS kinda weird.....I mean, you're having a conversation with a woman about, say, the weather while she's sticking things into and looking at your vagina, uterus and cervix....A little nerve-racking! __________________ ~~ He with a sharp tongue slits his own throat ~~

02-24-2005, 10:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
rhaevyn Insane Location: Pittsburgh, PA	I went to my first "real" gyno appointment dreading what was going to happen. I'd always heard my older female friends and relatives talking about how horrible it was. But then I got there, got it over with, and it was like, "Wow, they really made a huge deal about that." Sure, it's not something I'd want to do everyday; once a year is fine. It's just not a big deal for me. __________________ ~Alex~ You've come far, and though you're far from the end, you don't mind where you are, 'cause you know where you've been.

02-23-2005, 03:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	i don't know any woman who actually enjoys it, but i don't personally know anyone who needs a buzz before going either. i think most of us simply see it as something we have to do. i always shop around when i move to a new area. the more confidence i have in a dr, the more comfy i am seeing them. also, i like to meet them before having an exam. some dr.s are better at putting you at ease than others and some people you just like more than others. my current ob/gyn is great. he's friendly but professional and doesn't make my exam any more awkward than it has to be. plus the decorated ceilings always give me a chuckle.

02-23-2005, 06:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	It can be unpleasant at times, but it's never made me want to cry or anything. I was lucky enough to have my first job at a family planning clinic though, so most of the time the people doing my exams were people I knew and trusted (my co-workers). However, I also don't recall seeing patients come in crying because they had to have an exam. I also don't think there are many women who get any kind of kick out of it. Do you go in with her? That's probably one of the nicest things you could do for her, I think. Assuming she has a choice about who she sees, I would think she's probably already chosen somebody who's the least threatening to her, especially since she feels this way. My guess is she's probably got something else from her past that makes her feel this way. I'd recommend counseling - it shouldn't be that traumatic.

02-25-2005, 02:19 PM	#8 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Well since my gyno is the only touching me anyway lately it hasn't been that bad. No seriously once I had an foreign doctor that I couldn't understand very well. I was really tense, but not driven to drink. Maybe she should do some deep breathing excercises.

02-25-2005, 04:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	Does she have a history of sexual abuse? If so, that could be the cause of the stress. It's not something fun that I look forward to, but it's not that bad. I think if you could go in and hold her hand as previously suggested, that might help her out some. I really don't have any other advice, but I hope things get better for her. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

02-26-2005, 12:32 AM	#10 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	I have two friends, both older than me, who have not had their first Pap smear or OB/GYN visit yet. They've had the misfortune of being around me when my doctor has called because of some complications in the last couple months, so they may have a slightly biased view and think they need to get that buzz before they go. If the doctor is professional (ie doesn't make puns on your name) and knowledgle, then it really just comes down to whether your wife is comfortable. It may take some switching around, but if she can find someone she trusts and feels comfortable with, her mental health regarding this area will do her good. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

03-10-2005, 02:53 PM	#11 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I don't really have a problem with going to the gynocologist. I actually prefer it to going to the dentist. I've been going since I first began using birth control when I was 15, and have had at a bare minimum a six-month checkup ever since, even though I no longer use birth control. My current gyno is a young man, just out of residency, and he is very enthusiastic about his job. He greets me with a warm smile each time I see him, asks about my general health, he's careful to warn me about each thing he's going to do, takes the speculum off of the heating pad a minute or so before inserting it to let it cool just a bit to the right temp, he tells me everything he's doing before he does it and why, even if it's the same procedure I've been through a dozen times, and will ask how something feels each time he does something new. It's very relaxing and comforting. My SO won't go to a male gyno under any circumstances.

03-10-2005, 07:20 PM	#12 (permalink)
Demeter Psycho	Going to the Gyno has never been a problem with me. I mean, its no fun or anything, but its just one of those things we gotta do. I would suggest your wife talk to a doctor about her fears. If it upsets her now, if she decides to get pregnant she'll go over the edge. They prod around down there damn near every visit, nevermind when you are in labor & they keep checking to see how far you're dilated. I've always liked it to feeling like a dairy cow, when your own body doesn't seem like its yours anymore.

03-11-2005, 06:13 AM	#13 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I certainly don't get off on it, but it's pretty matter-of-fact for me at this point. It might definitely be a good idea for your wife to 1. see a therapist and 2. see a female gyno. This - having to get buzzed and feeling like crying - is not a healthy response to a routine physical exam. There's definitely something deeper going on. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

03-11-2005, 09:07 AM	#14 (permalink)
Maleigh99 Upright Location: Texas	I don't know anybody who gets off by going to the gyno. I wonder if that's what men think? Hmm....

03-11-2005, 10:24 AM	#15 (permalink)
lindseylatch Addict Location: Seattle, WA	I had 4 people messing around with my vagina (in the medical sense) in the past 8 months, so it's no big deal for me. Plus, they were all women. If it was a guy, i feel really wierd about it... Amonkie, if you read this, you have the BEST avatar ever...cause Royo rocks! __________________ "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." -Voltaire

03-12-2005, 11:19 AM	#16 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	the first time i had to go in i was so scared i threw up ..but i've gotten used to it..i just like tune it out and focus on a song in my head or what i need to do that day. __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.