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It can be unpleasant at times, but it's never made me want to cry or anything. I was lucky enough to have my first job at a family planning clinic though, so most of the time the people doing my exams were people I knew and trusted (my co-workers). However, I also don't recall seeing patients come in crying because they had to have an exam. I also don't think there are many women who get any kind of kick out of it.
Do you go in with her? That's probably one of the nicest things you could do for her, I think. Assuming she has a choice about who she sees, I would think she's probably already chosen somebody who's the least threatening to her, especially since she feels this way. My guess is she's probably got something else from her past that makes her feel this way. I'd recommend counseling - it shouldn't be that traumatic.
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