Child Custody Suit - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

kurty[B] · 07-13-2004, 08:35 PM

Not my issue, but a friend of mine's. She has been having problems with her ex, and between him trying to take over the apartment (cause his name's on the lease, but she pays the bills), and well, to cut to the chase, it has become a sheer pissing match.

They have a two year old boy in the middle of all this...

Let's just spell it out.

He went and filed for Full Child Custody. She's been paying for food, and everything child wise, and just been trying to take care of things. She's kept most of the receipts to prove this.

He has four verbal assault violations against him in the last two years. He recently got one the other night when trying to demand her to get out of "his" apartment, and he called the cops on her, and they ended up taking him away.

So, because the legal process is now underway (she was hoping to get out of the small state of Hawaii before filing custody paperwork; she believes once the paperwork is filed she has to remain in that state till the case is closed), but since the legal process is underway, she's not sure what to do. She would like to get a lawyer, but lawyer fees are insane, and can't afford them. Would this be an open/shut case granting her full custody with the violations he has against him, and her attempts at being a responsible mother? Should she get a lawyer just to make sure? Anyone know anymore about this type of legal proceeding that could enlighten me on this situation?

Manic_Skafe · 07-13-2004, 09:13 PM

It's a shame that their relationship got to such a point when there's a child involved - you should tell her that it's their responsibility to make sure that their motives in this whole situation are concerned with nothing but the child's best interest.

Now I'm not sure but I think the only way he'll be given sole custody of the child is if he can prove that she's either an unfit parent or she's incapable of caring for the child. If she's been taking care of the child's needs when it comes to money then I don't see how he could prove that she doesn't deserve custody - be it shared custody or not - of their child.

Regardless of the laws, if they can both provide safe and nurturing conditions for the child then they both deserve equal custody of the child. If their arguments are the only strikes against him then it'd be unfair to the child and the father if they weren't allowed to see each other.

I'd suggest they sit down like adults, objectively asses the situation, and make their decisions based upon that assesment. And if all else fails, get a lawyer and fight it out in court.

I know fuck all about the law when it comes to matters like these but I hope I helped.

kurty[B] · 07-13-2004, 09:27 PM

I think sitting down like adults has long left the playing field. Her main thing is she wants to be able to leave Hawaii (not many opportunities for her there, and she's rather stuck-in-a-rutt). Her other problem, is quite often when she's left him alone with the child she's come home to find him sleeping, while the child is running around the house, or various situations like this where he leaves the child unattended.

I don't know the whole situation, but seems like her ex is still acting like a young sex-driven male, rather than a responsible father.

I think the main thing is her legal options, because it is obvious he is going to try and make this as hard as possible for her.

Manic_Skafe · 07-13-2004, 09:32 PM

Then I suggest she tell the judge that whenver all of this comes to court. I think the only way a person can get sole custody of a child is if they can prove that the other parent is unfit of caring for the child or is a danger to the child - sounds like this guy is both.

I wish your friend the best of luck and I hope this guy gets the ass kicking wake up call he needs - there's obviously something wrong with him if he doesn't care enough to care for his own child.

braindamage351 · 07-23-2004, 07:39 PM

I've seen worse cases than this except it was the wife being a dick, and those always ended in joint custody. But that might just be the bias towards women when it comes to the custody of children.

kurty[B] · 07-26-2004, 10:20 AM

luckily, she found a sympathetic lawyer to side with her, and now has full custody of the child. The child's father has to give her permission to leave the state though, so, I imagine that will be another process since he doesn't seem to want to let go, but at least she got the most important thing taken care of!

07-13-2004, 08:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	Child Custody Suit Not my issue, but a friend of mine's. She has been having problems with her ex, and between him trying to take over the apartment (cause his name's on the lease, but she pays the bills), and well, to cut to the chase, it has become a sheer pissing match. They have a two year old boy in the middle of all this... Let's just spell it out. He went and filed for Full Child Custody. She's been paying for food, and everything child wise, and just been trying to take care of things. She's kept most of the receipts to prove this. He has four verbal assault violations against him in the last two years. He recently got one the other night when trying to demand her to get out of "his" apartment, and he called the cops on her, and they ended up taking him away. So, because the legal process is now underway (she was hoping to get out of the small state of Hawaii before filing custody paperwork; she believes once the paperwork is filed she has to remain in that state till the case is closed), but since the legal process is underway, she's not sure what to do. She would like to get a lawyer, but lawyer fees are insane, and can't afford them. Would this be an open/shut case granting her full custody with the violations he has against him, and her attempts at being a responsible mother? Should she get a lawyer just to make sure? Anyone know anymore about this type of legal proceeding that could enlighten me on this situation?

07-13-2004, 09:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
Manic_Skafe More Than You Expect Location: Queens	It's a shame that their relationship got to such a point when there's a child involved - you should tell her that it's their responsibility to make sure that their motives in this whole situation are concerned with nothing but the child's best interest. Now I'm not sure but I think the only way he'll be given sole custody of the child is if he can prove that she's either an unfit parent or she's incapable of caring for the child. If she's been taking care of the child's needs when it comes to money then I don't see how he could prove that she doesn't deserve custody - be it shared custody or not - of their child. Regardless of the laws, if they can both provide safe and nurturing conditions for the child then they both deserve equal custody of the child. If their arguments are the only strikes against him then it'd be unfair to the child and the father if they weren't allowed to see each other. I'd suggest they sit down like adults, objectively asses the situation, and make their decisions based upon that assesment. And if all else fails, get a lawyer and fight it out in court. I know fuck all about the law when it comes to matters like these but I hope I helped. __________________ "Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

07-13-2004, 09:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
Manic_Skafe More Than You Expect Location: Queens	Then I suggest she tell the judge that whenver all of this comes to court. I think the only way a person can get sole custody of a child is if they can prove that the other parent is unfit of caring for the child or is a danger to the child - sounds like this guy is both. I wish your friend the best of luck and I hope this guy gets the ass kicking wake up call he needs - there's obviously something wrong with him if he doesn't care enough to care for his own child. __________________ "Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

07-13-2004, 09:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	I think sitting down like adults has long left the playing field. Her main thing is she wants to be able to leave Hawaii (not many opportunities for her there, and she's rather stuck-in-a-rutt). Her other problem, is quite often when she's left him alone with the child she's come home to find him sleeping, while the child is running around the house, or various situations like this where he leaves the child unattended. I don't know the whole situation, but seems like her ex is still acting like a young sex-driven male, rather than a responsible father. I think the main thing is her legal options, because it is obvious he is going to try and make this as hard as possible for her.

07-23-2004, 07:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
braindamage351 Insane	I've seen worse cases than this except it was the wife being a dick, and those always ended in joint custody. But that might just be the bias towards women when it comes to the custody of children.

07-26-2004, 10:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	luckily, she found a sympathetic lawyer to side with her, and now has full custody of the child. The child's father has to give her permission to leave the state though, so, I imagine that will be another process since he doesn't seem to want to let go, but at least she got the most important thing taken care of!