EruptiveDreamz

I have been thinking about the educational system ever since I read the thread "Is New Generation Getting Too Much Info ?" Great topic!

No, this isn't the first time I have thought about this subject. I have thought about this quite often through out the years as my son went through school. My son .. he has been a learning experince for me with himself as he grew. That doesn't mean it's bad. He really has opened my eyes up to alot being the challenging child he was to raise. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world tho. Even tho he still may not have his life together completely. Lifes experinces for him has became his best educational system he could have possibly had. All I can hope with this is that hopefully in the long run it will make a better man out of him where the system .. yes the system failed him.

What really slays me are these kids that go to school with behavior problems. First answer for their behavior problem always seems to be A.D.H.D. Some kids yeah.. I have heard how much of a diffrence it made for them. Great! My son? Not!!

For 10 years my child took ritland. For maybe 8 out of those 10 I heard my son come home saying he felt diffrent than the other kids having to take medicine. Made me think. It never seemed as tho it helped him. He didn't have counciling available through the schools for this problem to monitor him. The same school who seemed to have been the ones pushing for him to be placed on ritland. Why I asked myself several times, should I as a parent have to provide counciling for something I felt wasn't the right answer for my son. The school had recommended he be diagnoised. The school demanded he have ritland. If ever his prescribtion ran out. They didn't want him at school. Altho I never heard anything good said about him at conferences. It was always the same. The same I had heard before ritland came into his life.

I went to the school several times expressing my concerns. I suggested these kids have counciling to help boost their esteem and to keep their esteem level up. As I saw my sons enthusiasm for school drop almost over night and had heard him make negative comments in regards to himself. These kids are started out at such young age on ritland. Start counciling sessions for these kids through the schools as soon as this child starts to take meds for A.D.H.D . The younger you start this for them the better. What about the future and what it holds for this child who now is diagnoised with A.D.H.D? Will this be a problem for the rest of their life? What kind of job will they be able to hold if they don't learn to control it? Can they hold down a job without being disruptive? My son was 16 and still I was told he was disruptive in class. So they get a pill.. and they are told here.. this pill will help you. But don't do drugs. Is it a no wonder my kid tokes? So along with counciling. Help teach the child to control this behavior and they don't have to rely on meds nor should A.D.H.D. be used for an excuse for this child's behavior. What crutch will they have to lean on when they get older? Oh I robbed a bank becasue I have A.D.H.D and can't seem to hold a job because of it? Thats so whacked!

So now we have a child who is pinned as a disruptive child. My child was a kid that just did not want to be in school period. He had better things he wanted to do. So the blame game starts. And of course the finger got pointed in my direction. Goly gee .. I got to be chosen. How special that made me feel. It was all my fault this child had problems. Had to be something going on at home. Bright idea.. lets ask the child. Sure why not, why not give the kid an excuse? Come on, how is a kid gonna respond? Opportunity has just been opened up for this child who for some reason isn't able to learn and disrupts class. Who always seems to be in trouble and serving detentions. But yet this child is able to catch on quickly to an opportunity that has just gained him sympathy. Smart? I would say this child is too smart for his own britches. He then plays it to the max. The bigger the story and worst it sounds the more that child reads into the sympathy the person is begining to show more and more in his/her facial expressions.

So now it all begins. Family counciling. Omg hours and hours of counciling to try to figure out what this childs problem is and why this family doesn't seem to be able to function properly together? (Of course if it wasn't for dysfunctionable..we wouldn't have the Simpsons today) So now you go to counciling feeling as though you are doing something wrong as a parent because someone at the school has said so. No parent in their right mind wants to fail their child. I mean come one those words are ringing in your brain, the teacher may as well have said Your a bad parent! So now you rack your brain trying to figure out what you have done wrong just to have a counciler ask you that very same question that you didn't have an answer for when it came to asking yourself. Arrhhhgggggg!!

So you go over everything. Maybe I spoiled him to much. Maybe I haven't given him enough attention. You have tried to do everything right that you can think of. What have you done wrong as parent that has gotten you to this point? Isn't this counciler suppose to be helping you figure out what your doing wrong? So now your poor kid, uhhuh, right ..has not only been smart enough to play the educational system but smart enough to play a counciling session as well as he also just played you. This child has now recieved more attention. One on one time with the teacher.. the principle... the counciler.. and you. Not to mention the child is now out of school for this session and you treat the kid to something. Be it a toy or something to eat out .. clothes anything that makes you feel better as a parent because you are now dealing with an overwhelming sence of guilt to think you may be a bad parent.

And the whole problem started because? This child just did not want to be in school because for some reason the way the child was being taught held no intrest for this child.

When my mother had been in the hospital the nurse asked my mother how she learnt best. For someone to tell her or for someone to show her. If this is something the hospital has picked upon in educating people with their medical problems they may have to tend to for prolonged periods of time on their own. Then why haven't the schools picked up on it or maybe they have by now? I know I learn better in job situations being shown how to do a job other than someone telling me. Is there a way to maybe correspond together some kind of class that teaches by teaching with hands on material?

Can't hurt. We just may get a few more kids we have actually educated doing it this way.

But no what was the solution for my son? Alternitive school...a half a day. Gee what a treat for him. It was exactly what he wanted! So he was rewarded with a half a day of school? Please!! This was the answer in trying to teach my kid an education? Give him a half a day and then the rest of the day he could run while I was at work? That about added up to trouble.

Not to mention, not every family works day shift hours. What about those kids that just may not function as well during the day? I find myself to be more alert and motivated second shift hours. I hate early mornings and having to be up and on the run. What about possible night classes for kids? We keep cutting back in the schools because of funding. Well .. there are two possible ideas so far. Seems to me it could cut back on the Alternative schools and put money back into regular schools.

What about parents that work second shift? Where are their kids of an evening if they are actually to old for a sitter? Out maybe running around? Mine was. I know he and knew he was. Had to work. Getting in trouble? Yeah he was. Seems that if they were in school and on the same time scheduale as the kids parents maybe there wouldn't be that temptation for a disater waiting to happen of an evening. There again is yet more money for educational purposes because you'd be taking kids off the streets at night. Which could only be less money being spent for the judicational systems juvinille offenders.

It's not like I have a degree to be a teacher or anything.. let alone a degree that would make me some big wig on the top of the totem pole. I am by far not trying to knock anyone. These are just things I observed through out the years.. experinced with my son and the schools here. And ideas that have crossed my mind on more than one occasion that may have helped my kid better himself. And wonder why these idea's may or may not work?

__________________
Can you imagine Moses asking Congress to pass the ten commandments?

:::OshnSoul:::

I find that school systems and possibly even Doctors are quick to assume that a child has ADHD just because their grades slip, they can't concentrate on their work sometimes or drift off in class.
It's funny how, all of the sudden, society is making ADHD sound like half of the kids in the counttry have it just because they aren't focused enough. Well, might I point out two factors that might contribute to this awful conclusion:
1- School Systems are now more impersonal, too demanding, and not as fun as what school used to be. Everything is an issue now with school boards and so they are always finding reasons to blame children for what is happening in school.
2- Parents/Guardians aren't being the best role models/mentors for these children.
What may specificly contribute to ADHD? An overexposure to TV and also large classrooms. Not enough personal attention and devoted time of parents and teachers cause children to have a shorter attention span, because that's what basically have programmed to be that way.
It's hard for a lot of parents or school boards to admit these as being factors contributing.
I am glad you took the initiative to see what you may have done and what you could do to help him. Few parents will do that. Attention is so important in a child's life, and if it isn't balanced, it can lead to learning difficulties and such things as ADHD. Realizing that there are other solutions other than shoving meds down children's throats and acutally doing something about it yourself by recognizing the problems as things you may have contributed to is a wise action to take.

raeanna74

Our local school are lacking so greatly that parents are moving to homeschooling in large numbers. They have actually built a new school building in the past few years to consoladate a couple of their elementary schools into one big school. Though the town is growing the number of public schools in our town have gone from 5 to 2. The 2 parochial schools have expanded in the past couple years and the homeschool group is quite large. JUST in our town of 10,000 the homeschool group that meets once weekly numbers over 100 students. As a former teacher it can be a monumental job to try to give each student everything they need and some students that need more tend to fall by the wayside all to easily. A student with ADHD or other learning problems can end up being dropped back or pushed aside and just passed on to the next grade so that the teacher doesn't have to deal with them anymore.

A friend of mine has a daughter "Alice"in second grade. Her grades were slipping severely this year and the teachers approached her with their suspicions that Alice has ADHD. The schools would not offer any testing though because that would cost too much. They planned to drop Alice back a year and then if she didn't catch on they would test her. That makes me angry just thinking about it. How can that be a solution.

Well my friend approached my Mom to help her daughter and test her. My mother has been working on ther thesis in ADHD/Dyslexia/Hyperkinesis and has been a teacher. She tested Alice. Came to the same conclusion as the school that yes Alice had ADHD. Then she began to work with her. Gave her physical and mental exercises to help her train her brain to work like she needed. My mother also gave Mom and Dad specific morning and bedtime rituals to help her have a regular schedule. She started this in November of this year. Last week Alices grades came back and my friend met with her teacher to see how Alice was doing. Alice has moved from having the lowest grades in the class to being the BEST reader in class. In 4 months! The one on one working, the physical exercises, mental exercises, and regular schedule worked.

I have an Elementary Education degree. My mother has given me the same tests and believes that I have ADHD maybe in combination with mild Dyslexia. My daughter (I just posted today about her nutso day yesterday) can be so out of control sometimes despite everything I do that my mother and even I am beginning to wonder if she's not the same. I do not intend to give her ritalin. I do intend to use my mother's methods, and my own education to teach my daughter AT HOME. I have begun collecting rescources, textbooks, workbooks, and other supplies to help. I have a puzzle of the whole alphabet in interlocking squares that are a foot square. My daughter and I "play" with them quite often so that she gets HANDS on work. In my college classes they told us that students will always learn best when you use EVERY avenue for teaching, hands, eyes, ears, etc. Both of my husbands parents are teachers as well - his father actually being a professor of elementary education at a college. With my in-law's and mother's abilites and education as well as mine I see it as foolish NOT to teach my daughter at home. I realize not everyone has such an educational support system but I fully intend to take advantage of it.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

2kids1headache

Even without the support system that you have, raeanna74, I plan on teaching our new arrival at home. Every day I hear stories of how idiotic the children in my girlfriend's classes are, and how the school administration lets them get away with it. She does her best to teach the same material at least two or three different ways before testing, but the kids in her classes have learned that they don't have to pay attention. If they fail the class, the school will send an email to my girlfriend asking her to bump up their grades.

You think that's bad? It's only going to get worse if Bush gets all of his "no child left behind" crap through Congress.

I just don't think it's viable to send a child through the public education system in this day and age. I want my children to be able to read, write, spell, and calculate. I want my children to be able to think critically and creatively.

:::OshnSoul:::

It looks like there is going to be a story on our local news tonight about ADHD and prescribed drugs vs. alternatives in school- I'll have to catch it and give you a review.