Damn! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Stillborn · 08-14-2003, 01:16 PM

Have any of you been real lonely? I mean, not friendship-wise, but in the terms of a significant other?

I've been single for two years. I've been fine with it up until recently. I don't know why, but I have been getting really angry whenever I see my best friend or other friends HAPPY with their girlfriends. I remember the time I was like that. Actually truly happy. Not a care in the world. I really want to go back to those days.

But, I don't know if I can. I know this chick who's going to be a Junior in High School. She's really cool and, well, perfect for me. Similar taste in music, laughs at my lame jokes, really cute. But, the thing is, is I'm going to go to college in two weeks. I don't want to start a relationship with her, somehow fuck her life up, and ruin her reputation and thus ruining her relationship with me.

Yet, I also REALLY, REALLY WANT TO HAVE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP with her. Like I said, she's perfect for me!

I have absolutely no idea what to do. So, I'm turning to you all here for some advice. Please help.

Thanks.

pagoda · 08-14-2003, 09:48 PM

Well you might want to find out if she's interested in having a relationship, alot of girls that young I've known didn't want one.

But I think you'll be in different places in life, it's just my opinion but she'll be going home to her parents house and doing homework, and that's her life. You'll be meeting a ton of new people, most likely living a dorm and partying all the time. Unless you are really into her, I doubt you'll want to ditch all your plans and hang with her. Especially the first year of college, it's a big change from before.

If you like her that much though, just go for it. The longer you wait the higher the chances are she finds someone else to take your place.

skysooner · 08-15-2003, 09:49 AM

College is going to open a whole new world to you. High school can be the best time for some people. For me it was about the worst. I ended up choosing not to date anyone seriously and just hang out with my friends. In college, you are going to have many people in your same situation (away from home, lonely). You will more than likely meet someone there that is more accessible, a bit more mature and maybe wanting a relationship, and in your same situation. I wouldn't recommend going for this girl just out of loneliness. It isn't fair to you or her.

DeviouslySimple · 08-15-2003, 10:12 AM

College is such a different ballgame from high school, and for the vast majority of people I know who went (including myself), it was far, far, far better and more open/varied. The people are more real, you get far more interesting interaction going on, and you start exploring things you actually want to do, and think about.

You will probably be in a whole entire different social world as soon as you get into college. Don't take my word for it, but I'm telling you that this will all look very different soon.

Ultimately you have to decide if you can accept the consequences of wanting what you want despite what you know may be the more moral thing to do. I don't think either one is actually better, both can be learning experiences.

Stillborn · 08-15-2003, 10:18 AM

I never thought of it that way, Sooner! What with her life being totally different than mine, and what she may want.

But, yeah. She's still really cool. I'd like to hang out with her and all, yet, the parties and and studying and whatnot, I really wouldn't have any time to be with her...

FUCK!!!

skysooner · 08-15-2003, 10:35 AM

Here's an idea though. You two won't always be at different places in your life. Also, I have rarely seen relationships that start that young really last a long time due to the changes that both of you are going to be undergoing in the near future. However there is nothing wrong with becoming friendly and staying in touch so to speak. You never know what could happen in the future.

dragon2fire · 08-15-2003, 10:42 AM

one thing to consider is distance how far away will you be

as for being lonely i feel you man i really do i have been single for a very long time now you do get use to it in time but yea any way

alot hear depends on were you will be going to school is it far away is there a dorm you will be living in

i think skysooner hit the nail right on the head be friends stay in touch maybe in a few year try the relationship thing

Stillborn · 08-15-2003, 12:54 PM

The college I'm going to is in Downtown Denver (about twenty minutes from where I currently am). So I won't be too far from her.

But, I'm going to take Sooner's advice, remain her friend, keep in touch, etc.

Maybe I'll get a chance later on down the road.

Here's to that chance!

pagoda · 08-15-2003, 03:29 PM

Hey, I'm in Denver too! So which college are you going to? I'm heading to Metro after having a year off from CU Boulder...starts next Monday already.

wry1 · 08-15-2003, 06:15 PM

I've been where you're at, Stillborn, and let me just say that it's not the fact that your friends are happy with their significant others that is really bothersome.....it's that you're in this strange new place in your life (about to go to college, if I recall your initial posting) and you are finding yourself somewhat alone to deal with the newness of it. The friends you have you find yourself sharing time with - time which could be spent helping you come to grips with the life change ahead of you - and this tends to reinforce the feeling of being alone to deal with it all.

I've been there, I've lived through it, and now I'm beyond that point.....whew! When you get to school, make a point of meeting everybody on your dorm floor. Usually, your Resident Assistant (or whatever they call the person responsible for everybody on your floor) will make a point of doing this in a floor meeting or something.

Socialize. Be outgoing and friendly. Go to a party or two dozen. Believe me when I tell you that college will be a pretty hefty workload - you probably won't have time to spare for building a relationship with this girl.

........Of course, you could REALLY get lucky and she might go to the same college a couple of years down the road. Then you could "show her the ropes" as a way to see if the spark is still there.

Just a thought.

Stillborn · 08-16-2003, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pagoda
Hey, I'm in Denver too! So which college are you going to? I'm heading to Metro after having a year off from CU Boulder...starts next Monday already.

Sweet! I'm going to Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design.

I know a few people going to. Cool place. If you ever get a chance, go to the Fox Theatre. Amazing place to see concerts, and it's just off the CU campus!

BigDonkey2 · 08-17-2003, 08:03 PM

Right now Im kinda lonely. I broke up w/ my first gf in mid June and lately I just miss the feeling of holding someone in my arms; and well just having sex. I miss being intimate with someone and kissing. But I will soon be going back to college where there will be chicks a plenty and lots of booze to go around. THANK YOU ALCOHOL!!!

Stillborn · 08-18-2003, 08:53 AM

Sucks, don't it bro?

skinbag · 08-18-2003, 10:16 PM

And I thought married life sucked..Thanks guys- I won't bitch for at least 2 days. *~*

08-14-2003, 01:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
Stillborn Tilted Location: Dingden, DE / Centennial, CO	Damn! Have any of you been real lonely? I mean, not friendship-wise, but in the terms of a significant other? I've been single for two years. I've been fine with it up until recently. I don't know why, but I have been getting really angry whenever I see my best friend or other friends HAPPY with their girlfriends. I remember the time I was like that. Actually truly happy. Not a care in the world. I really want to go back to those days. But, I don't know if I can. I know this chick who's going to be a Junior in High School. She's really cool and, well, perfect for me. Similar taste in music, laughs at my lame jokes, really cute. But, the thing is, is I'm going to go to college in two weeks. I don't want to start a relationship with her, somehow fuck her life up, and ruin her reputation and thus ruining her relationship with me. Yet, I also REALLY, REALLY WANT TO HAVE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP with her. Like I said, she's perfect for me! I have absolutely no idea what to do. So, I'm turning to you all here for some advice. Please help. Thanks. __________________ Waiting... to be born again Wanting... the saddest kind of pain Waiting for the day when I will crawl away

08-14-2003, 09:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
pagoda Upright	Well you might want to find out if she's interested in having a relationship, alot of girls that young I've known didn't want one. But I think you'll be in different places in life, it's just my opinion but she'll be going home to her parents house and doing homework, and that's her life. You'll be meeting a ton of new people, most likely living a dorm and partying all the time. Unless you are really into her, I doubt you'll want to ditch all your plans and hang with her. Especially the first year of college, it's a big change from before. If you like her that much though, just go for it. The longer you wait the higher the chances are she finds someone else to take your place. __________________ "It's good to be back in Burbank." "Goulet!"

08-15-2003, 10:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
Stillborn Tilted Location: Dingden, DE / Centennial, CO	I never thought of it that way, Sooner! What with her life being totally different than mine, and what she may want. But, yeah. She's still really cool. I'd like to hang out with her and all, yet, the parties and and studying and whatnot, I really wouldn't have any time to be with her... FUCK!!! __________________ Waiting... to be born again Wanting... the saddest kind of pain Waiting for the day when I will crawl away

08-15-2003, 12:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
Stillborn Tilted Location: Dingden, DE / Centennial, CO	The college I'm going to is in Downtown Denver (about twenty minutes from where I currently am). So I won't be too far from her. But, I'm going to take Sooner's advice, remain her friend, keep in touch, etc. Maybe I'll get a chance later on down the road. Here's to that chance! __________________ Waiting... to be born again Wanting... the saddest kind of pain Waiting for the day when I will crawl away

08-15-2003, 03:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
pagoda Upright	Hey, I'm in Denver too! So which college are you going to? I'm heading to Metro after having a year off from CU Boulder...starts next Monday already. __________________ "It's good to be back in Burbank." "Goulet!"

08-15-2003, 09:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	College is going to open a whole new world to you. High school can be the best time for some people. For me it was about the worst. I ended up choosing not to date anyone seriously and just hang out with my friends. In college, you are going to have many people in your same situation (away from home, lonely). You will more than likely meet someone there that is more accessible, a bit more mature and maybe wanting a relationship, and in your same situation. I wouldn't recommend going for this girl just out of loneliness. It isn't fair to you or her.

08-15-2003, 10:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
DeviouslySimple Upright Location: Stillwater, Oklahoma	College is such a different ballgame from high school, and for the vast majority of people I know who went (including myself), it was far, far, far better and more open/varied. The people are more real, you get far more interesting interaction going on, and you start exploring things you actually want to do, and think about. You will probably be in a whole entire different social world as soon as you get into college. Don't take my word for it, but I'm telling you that this will all look very different soon. Ultimately you have to decide if you can accept the consequences of wanting what you want despite what you know may be the more moral thing to do. I don't think either one is actually better, both can be learning experiences.

08-15-2003, 10:35 AM	#6 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Here's an idea though. You two won't always be at different places in your life. Also, I have rarely seen relationships that start that young really last a long time due to the changes that both of you are going to be undergoing in the near future. However there is nothing wrong with becoming friendly and staying in touch so to speak. You never know what could happen in the future.

08-15-2003, 10:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
dragon2fire Junkie	one thing to consider is distance how far away will you be as for being lonely i feel you man i really do i have been single for a very long time now you do get use to it in time but yea any way alot hear depends on were you will be going to school is it far away is there a dorm you will be living in i think skysooner hit the nail right on the head be friends stay in touch maybe in a few year try the relationship thing

08-15-2003, 06:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	I've been where you're at, Stillborn, and let me just say that it's not the fact that your friends are happy with their significant others that is really bothersome.....it's that you're in this strange new place in your life (about to go to college, if I recall your initial posting) and you are finding yourself somewhat alone to deal with the newness of it. The friends you have you find yourself sharing time with - time which could be spent helping you come to grips with the life change ahead of you - and this tends to reinforce the feeling of being alone to deal with it all. I've been there, I've lived through it, and now I'm beyond that point.....whew! When you get to school, make a point of meeting everybody on your dorm floor. Usually, your Resident Assistant (or whatever they call the person responsible for everybody on your floor) will make a point of doing this in a floor meeting or something. Socialize. Be outgoing and friendly. Go to a party or two dozen. Believe me when I tell you that college will be a pretty hefty workload - you probably won't have time to spare for building a relationship with this girl. ........Of course, you could REALLY get lucky and she might go to the same college a couple of years down the road. Then you could "show her the ropes" as a way to see if the spark is still there. Just a thought.

08-17-2003, 08:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
BigDonkey2 Insane Location: California	Right now Im kinda lonely. I broke up w/ my first gf in mid June and lately I just miss the feeling of holding someone in my arms; and well just having sex. I miss being intimate with someone and kissing. But I will soon be going back to college where there will be chicks a plenty and lots of booze to go around. THANK YOU ALCOHOL!!!

08-18-2003, 08:53 AM	#13 (permalink)
Stillborn Tilted Location: Dingden, DE / Centennial, CO	Sucks, don't it bro? __________________ Waiting... to be born again Wanting... the saddest kind of pain Waiting for the day when I will crawl away

08-18-2003, 10:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
skinbag Registered User Location: Madison WI	And I thought married life sucked..Thanks guys- I won't bitch for at least 2 days. ~